A can of worms

I’ve definitely created a monster with the whole baby book thing. I’ve read so many, and continue to read as many as I can. Like I said before, I definitely won’t know what to *really* do or what works for our family until the little Nuggette makes her appearance, but in the meantime, I like to educate myself as much as possible.

First were the pre-conception and prepare my body for baby books

then the pregnancy books

and then the childcare books

and now I’m starting to think about the actual act of parenting. I’ll probably be reading until she’s in college 😉

Of course, we want our little girl to grow up to be kind, giving, smart and do what’s *right*, but besides obviously leading by example, what are some other parenting resources?

We already started to discuss the issue of punishment and teaching right from wrong, etc. What worked for me when I was younger was when my parents would take something away from me. Spanking only lasted a second –to which I would yell “that didn’t hurt!” and run away. What a little punk- but when my favorite toys were taken away from me (which later turned into having to miss plans with friends, cell phone or TV taken away), it taught me that my actions had consequences. I also discovered the “time out corner” from Supernanny.. does anyone else use that strategy?

I think that the types of books we read to our daughter will also help instill some positive messages with her. I found this one at Ventana yesterday- it will be awesome to read when she’s younger, and I LOVE the message.

image

1. Share the Good
2. Find What You Love
3. You are Filled with Love
4. Find a Quiet Place Inside
5. Make Today Great!
6. Change Your Thoughts to Good
7. Take Care of Yourself
8. Picture What You Want
9. Everyone Is Special, Especially You
10. Good Thoughts Give You Energy

It has a list of 10 different things to “let your greatness shine through”, including envisioning what you want to truly be and what your goals are, acting with kindness, giving to others,  loving yourself and making today great. All things that I truly believe in. I also like the fact that it deals with bullies by saying “you can’t control what others do or say.”

Do you know of any other children’s books with great messages, or parenting resources?

Parents, what’s your #1 parenting tip?

And, just for fun, here are 10 things to never say to a pregnant woman, from *this page*:

1) Any and all comments about how big she is. If you’re going to say anything about her appearance, it should be along the lines of, "Honey, you look gorgeous!" Don’t compliment her on her lack of weight gain either– err on the side of good manners and don’t comment on her size at all. Here are some of the rude comments pregnant women often hear about their weight:

  • "Oh my God, are you having twins?"
  • "You’re only seven months along? Geez!"
  • "Wow, that baby’s going to pop out at any minute!"
  • "You know, my sister only gained 20 pounds when she was pregnant."
  • "Oooo, your booty’s getting big!"

2) "Can I touch your belly?" Don’t even ask. The answer is NO. Since when did it become okay to touch strangers? If the pregnant woman is a close friend or relative, it may be appropriate to ask, but never touch without permission.

3) ‘Oh my God, you’re having another baby?" It doesn’t matter if this is baby #4 or baby #14. Congratulate her and keep the snarky comments to yourself.

4) Any and all unsolicited advice about baby names. If she asks you if you prefer Molly or Madeline, then tell her. If not, compliment her on her name choice (and if you hate it, smile and nod). All of the following comments are inappropriate:

  • "You’re naming her Molly? I prefer Madeline."
  • "Aiden? Wow, that’s such a trendy name."
  • "Arwyn? Well, that’s… different."
  • "Don’t you think you should name your son after your grandfather?"

5) "Are you going to get him circumcised?" This is only an appropriate question if you know the woman well. You wouldn’t ask a stranger about her husband’s genitalia. Why would you ask about her son’s?

6) "You’re not going to eat that, are you?" Let the lady eat her brownie in peace. And spare her lectures about the dangers of blue cheese or honey or fish or whatever it is that you heard on the news. She’s not a child, so don’t tell her what to eat.

7) "Did you use fertility drugs?" This is a question pregnant women get if they’re 42 or if they’re having multiples. If she wants to share this information with you, she will, but it’s not polite to ask people about the contents of their medicine cabinet. Besides, does it matter? However it happened, she’s pregnant.

8) "Was this an oops?" The only person who should be asking this question is an OB– or maybe a woman’s best friend or mother.

9) "So do you have hemorrhoids? Mine were just awful." Lots of pregnant women love to share details about their icky pregnancy symptoms, but many do not, especially with strangers. A simple, "How are you feeling?" is sufficient.

10) "So this is your first? Oh my God, with my first, I had horrible back labor for THIRTY hours, and then I needed a C-section and was in pain for WEEKS and the baby didn’t sleep through the night until she was two years old…" You get the idea. She’ll know soon enough what labor feels like, poor thing, so spare her the horror stories.

Read more at Suite101: Rude Comments about Pregnancy: 10 Things You Should Never Say to a Pregnant Woman | Suite101.com

My personal fave: comments about how big she/her belly is. If I had a dollar for every time someone said “Wow, that’s going to be a big baby!” or “You’re so big! Not you, your belly.”……

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82 Comments

  1. Casey @ Pocket Full of Sunshine on September 12, 2011 at 6:21 pm

    One piece of advice: Don’t go overboard with the rules. I had wonderful, supportive parents who were entirely reasonable in their parenting, and that made me totally not rebel. We barely had any rules regarding who I could date, who I couldn’t date, at what age, etc—and it worked out really well for us. My parents were super involved in my sister and my lives, and would obviously put their foot down if something was off-limits/dangerous, etc, but by them not ruling with an iron thumb, we established respect and boundaries, and my sister and I grew up as fun-loving goody-goodies (you can be both at the same time!). 🙂

    • Anita on September 12, 2011 at 8:36 pm

      Casey– I second everything you wrote! I grew up in what sounds like a very similar home, and as a result, I always felt responsible for myself and my actions. My parents always told me that they felt that they could really trust my sister and me, so they didn’t feel the need to put down any crazy rules for us. I ended up setting those guidelines for myself! Of course, they certainly filled us with advice, which helped us pave the right paths.

      I can’t even tell you how much your comment made me grin– I love that fun-loving-goody-goody mentality!

    • Kara on September 13, 2011 at 2:01 am

      totally agree! keeping an open trusting relationship was HUGE with my parents.

  2. Lauren on September 12, 2011 at 6:29 pm

    Funny story, when I saw my hubby’s grandma at my shower, she didn’t recognize me, then when she did she said about 100x how small I “use to be” and she could not believe how big I had gotten and that I was going to have a really large baby! When my baby was born 6lbs 7oz, I made sure to mention how small she was to her over and over again! Lol, she had me so scared that I was going to give birth to an elephant child!

    About the books, I read a few mostly on feeding baby, etc. As for parenting, I read some stuff online, nut I always feel best going with my own style! 😉 you’ll be great!

  3. Jill on September 12, 2011 at 6:32 pm

    Kids without consequences and who “rule the roost” are TERRIBLE little monsters. I did inclusion-work at a daycare for over a year and there were some huge brats; the common denominator was that they very likely did not have consistent and adequate rules at home. Kids who clearly spent a lot of time with their parents and families (like going to museums, playing sports with parents, family movie night) were generally so much more grounded and easy-going. By FAR. Kids who were basically babysat by a video game or a TV do not know how to behave properly or do anything besides sit in front of a screen–it’s sad. Not that you would do that… but kids do need rules and punishments, that’s how they learn how to fit into society and with their peers properly.

  4. Jen @familyfoodfitnessandfun on September 12, 2011 at 6:33 pm

    MY best parenting advice…PICK YOUR BATTLES!! When I had my first child, I had the time to pick every battle. But as we added to our family, I knew that I needed to let some things go…for my sanity. I figure, if it’s not hurting them or anyone else, or they aren’t disrespecting anyone, then let it go 🙂

  5. Holly @ The Runny Egg on September 12, 2011 at 6:35 pm

    No parenting tips from me!

    I love the last part of your post — I have never asked a pregnant lady (relative, friend or stranger) if I could touch their belly — that just seems so strange to me!

  6. Amber L on September 12, 2011 at 6:37 pm

    I read Have You Filled a Bucket Today? with my class every year (4th grade). They love it! We actually do the bucket filler program in my classroom, too. I plan to read the story with my little one and teach them about “invisible buckets”. I read the book geared toward older kids to my class, but they have a book geared toward little kids, too. Here is more information about it.

    http://blogs.scholastic.com/top_teaching/2010/04/are-your-students-bucket-fillers.html

    • Fitnessista on September 12, 2011 at 8:19 pm

      i can’t wait to add this one to the collection!

    • Sejal M on September 13, 2011 at 2:07 pm

      OMG I teach 4th grade and read that to my students each year too!!!

  7. Kristen @ Chocolate Covered Kristen on September 12, 2011 at 6:47 pm

    Best punishment ever: Essays. My dad said that grounding someone without a driver’s license who went to school and played sports was pointless since I saw my friends everyday anyway. If I did something wrong (ground worthy things like getting caught in a place I wasn’t supposed to be, not simple things) my dad made me write an essay and I was grounded until an essay he approved of was written. There was always a length requirement, they had to be grammatically correct, spelling counted, margins, no sarcasm… sometimes there were sources that needed to be cited. There was everything from what “hate” means and why you shouldn’t say it to people you love (age 8 I yelled “I hate you!”) and the last one I was remember was about making poor decisions and how they could negatively affect someone’s life (age 16 or 17, 500 words double spaced with 1″ margins). Dad was creative.

    • Colette on September 12, 2011 at 7:16 pm

      I LOVE this idea! As a mother of 3 girls (age 3, 5, 7) I am tucking this one away for the future. Well, actually, my 1st grader could probably start doing this. LOVE IT! My oldest is already trying to work the system… grrrrrr.

    • Valerie @ FreshMutz on September 12, 2011 at 8:09 pm

      LOL!!! My dad did the same thing. I probably wrote a ton of essays on why I should listen to my mom! LOL! But at least I still got to play with my friends. I though I was the only one.

    • Layla on September 12, 2011 at 10:08 pm

      Yup, I second this! We didn’t have to write essays, but my dad made me write sentences, just like in school. Only WORSE, because I was shut in my room while everyone else was outside. SO horrible! So effective!

      • Fitnessista on September 12, 2011 at 11:44 pm

        that sounds terrible. and fantastic.

  8. Coco on September 12, 2011 at 6:49 pm

    I have never had children or been pregnant (yet), but my sister-in-law and a friend of mine are both pregnant (one due in October and one in November), and they have warned me of strangers GRABBING their bellies. I love this list of “Don’ts”.

    Here’s another one:

    My friend who is pregnant works with me, and when everyone at work found out she was expecting (I knew and had to keep it a secret!), my boss pulled me into her office to ask me if she was married (she isn’t married but has been living with her boyfriend and 2 dogs for 3 years). I have never felt so uncomfortable in my life. I told her that no, she is not married, but that she and her boyfriend are absolutely thrilled that they are pregnant. She asked me if it was an accident!!! Our BOSS! Can you believe that?!

    SO basically, keep the personal questions to a minimum, especially in the workplace!!!

    • Fitnessista on September 12, 2011 at 8:19 pm

      insane!!!

  9. River on September 12, 2011 at 6:51 pm

    Haha, I have no intention of having a baby anytime soon, but I love these points. All so true!

  10. TanyaS on September 12, 2011 at 6:56 pm

    Choose your battles is the best advice ever. You can read all you want, but so much depends on the personality traits of the child that you really have to wait for the kid to develop to know what will work and that is the reason what works for one child won’t work for another. Even with siblings.

    I was out for dinner with friends and she was 7 months pregnant. Her husband suggested she should have the salmon because the baby was going through a period of rapid brain development. My mouth hung open that he would have the nerve to even suggest what she should eat. I can’t believe she didn’t smack him right there.

  11. Michelle M on September 12, 2011 at 6:57 pm

    I used to get asked all the time if we had fertility treatments since we were having twins. Of course in our case, twins run on both sides of our family. My sister-in-law, my husband’s cousin and I all had twin girls within a year and a half of each other. When I’d share that fun fact, then people would start asking us how horrible that would be. “Oh my God. Twice as many diapers, even less sleep, 2 in the terrible 2’s at the same time?!?” My husband and I usually ignored those comments. Our girls ended up being easier than our son was.

  12. Averie @ Love Veggies and Yoga on September 12, 2011 at 7:00 pm

    Classic things to NEVER say list. LOVE IT

    Was it an oops, was it planned <– I get that ALL THE TIME from blog readers too via email, the size of one's belly, running up to touch a woman's belly or even asking…just keep your hands to yourself (strangers!), please! 🙂 Sorry I would not run up a random woman on the street and want to touch her…it's just…not appropriate.

    Oh, how I love this list. Could go on and on and on…it has all pretty much said to me..

    Parenting. Everything you think you know, you don't know.
    Everything you think is going to work, may or may not.
    Being able to roll with the flow, improvise, and keep your cool…is the name of the game.

    Kids need structure and boundaries, too. There is a difference between being a "mellow" parent and being checked out and not setting limits and boundaries on what's appropriate or not.

  13. Emily on September 12, 2011 at 7:04 pm

    Every time I told someone I was having twins they asked if I used fertility drugs! I still get that a lot now with the twins! Twins come natural too, just fyi to the world haha but my favorite is when people ask if they’re identical, with one baby decked out in blue, and the other in pink and flowers and bows 🙂

  14. Amy on September 12, 2011 at 7:19 pm

    I love the Discipline Book by Dr Sears & his wife. Ha, who am I kidding, I love all their books. As for books for children my favorite is The Paper Bag Princess by Robert Munsch. Helps with remembering what’s important and how to treat others. My #1 tip is to practice attachment parenting.

    As for the list I’ve got all of them except for #9. I have had many people comment on my size during pregnancy. With my oldest I gained 70 lbs and I was 60 inches around, I gained a large amount of water week in that last week before his birth. With the middle child I gained 60 lbs and got up to 54 inches around. With the youngest I only gained 35 lbs and I stopped measuring my self when I was 52 inches.

  15. Colette on September 12, 2011 at 7:22 pm

    You’re going to do great! Use the books as a resource, but just remember that YOU (and hubby) are the experts of your children. Not the “experts” who write all these books or even the teachers, doctors, etc. I’m in a family of teachers and they all wish parents would stop expecting them to raise their children for them. There is no “perfect” way to raise a child. And, each child is different. You guys will do great! And yes – there will be mistakes, but most likely, not life changing. So I may have yelled at my kids a little too much one day… oops! But they know I love them and I talked to them about it afterwards and appologized for my wrong behavor. Nobody’s perfect. Relax and enjoy your little Nuggette.

  16. Karen on September 12, 2011 at 7:30 pm

    I can’t give advise, as I haven’t raised kids, but one thing that stuck with me from BEING a kid was a something my mom would say to us when we had really been bad. We (my bro and I) would say to her “You don’t love me/us!” through our tears, and she would say “I love you, but I don’t LIKE you right now.” I am sure there are psych’s out there who would say this was damaging in some way, but really it gave both of the insight that love isn’t conditional. You can be really pissed/hurt/angry with someone, but still love them. It also taught us that our actions/words impact how another person feels about you.

    We hated to think she didn’t like us, and would apologize and give her hugs. It’s actually an expression I have said to my husband, and it stopped him in his tracks. He was like “huh, that was effective!” and it broke the tension of our argument, lol!

    I think my mom’s advise to you (she has raised two great people, practically raised most of our friends, and has been asst. principal at an elementary school for 25+ years) would be this: don’t over-explain. Speak clearly and be consistent. It drives her crazy when parents are trying to have this long winded diatribe with their 6 year old, who is clearly learning how to effectively tune their parent out. She says half the time the parent is doing it to “show off” their “parenting skills” to the other adults in the room.

    She would also say respect the child’s energy level. Naps are good things. Over scheduling, over extending a child is a baaad idea.

    Just FYI- my brother and I are both leading fantastic lives with amazing significant others. It wasn’t always perfect, but we always come home, lol!

    • Valerie @ FreshMutz on September 12, 2011 at 8:11 pm

      I read an article not to long ago (New York Times, I think) about why it is ok and productive to tell your kid that you don’t like them when they misbehave. You’re mom was onto something!

      • Valerie @ FreshMutz on September 12, 2011 at 8:11 pm

        *your… sorry

      • Fitnessista on September 12, 2011 at 8:18 pm

        that’s really interesting!

  17. Kari on September 12, 2011 at 7:32 pm

    Hi Gina – I have a few of the Wayne Dyer kids’ books and they are all great, and quite honestly every once in awhile I need to reread his “No Excuses” book 😉 The “Have You Filled Your Bucket” book is also good that someone else recommended.

    Truly, though, you’ll find the books that your little one loves and as long as you savor those moments reading them together and truly honor your child’s spirit within just as you honor yours by taking good care of yourself, you’ll be great. There is no manual for this parenting journal no matter how many books have been published. You’ll figure out how to do it just right, for you and your family:-) Best wishes!!!

  18. Cynthia on September 12, 2011 at 7:42 pm

    My parents did the same thing to me growing up to discipline me – they took stuff away. My mom said spanking worked until I was old enough that she could reason with me. I think she figured out when that was when I said the same you thing you did ‘that didn’t even hurt’. Then my parents started taking stuff away, in the summer the worst was when I was told I couldn’t play outside! Apparently I was a a little punk too, because I used to tell her that ‘I didn’t care’ that I couldn’t do xyz, but not a smart punk, because she would just keep ticking down the list of things I couldn’t do until I yelled “NO! not that!” and then she started there next time!

    When I got a car in high school it was in my dad’s name and I was told that if I used it when I was grounded or not supposed to my dad would call the police and report is stolen – I really think he would have too, so I never used it when I wasn’t supposed to.

  19. meagan on September 12, 2011 at 7:49 pm

    Consistency in discipline seems to be the key for toddlerhood so far. When I tell her not to do something, I say the same phrase and the same way. She’s slowly catching on.

    Also, establishing “loving authority”. H and I are the parents, and we love her but as she gets older we will teach her to respect our authority through setting a good example (being kind/loving to each other, doing chores, eating our veggies, etc.) and meting out discipline where necessary. I’m of the belief that “because I said so” is actually a perfectly acceptable phrase for parents to use and kids to obey 🙂 I loved reading “Making the Terrible Twos Terrific” by John Rosemund.

    Otherwise, it’s pretty much go with the flow. Adjust and readjust. Which seems at odd with being “consistent” but really it is in itself consistent. That makes no sense. But it’s what I got!

  20. Michelle @ Crazy*Running*Legs on September 12, 2011 at 7:57 pm

    #1 parenting tip: Enjoy it! It doesn’t get easier, but that doesn’t mean that it doesn’t get better. Don’t rush each stage. Embrace it – challenges and all. Have you read this blog post? http://www.consciousmoms.org/?p=649 It one of my very favorites.

    As for discipline we combine 1-2-3 Magic with Love and Learning. I find that it’s really all about making the kids feel empowered – even if you’re REALLY the one in charge!

  21. Amber L on September 12, 2011 at 7:59 pm

    I just commented above, but I’m back b/c a friend of mine just posted this on facebook. I had to share it with you so that you could share it with the pilot!

    http://www.fromdatestodiapers.com/50-rules-for-dads-of-daughters

    sooooo sweet!

    • Fitnessista on September 12, 2011 at 8:18 pm

      LOVED this

  22. krista on September 12, 2011 at 8:21 pm

    I had a friend of mine ask me if I was carrying my baby on my backside instead of in my belly because apparently my butt had gotten pretty big!! Luckily she was a good friend and I got the humour in it. I DID get a pretty big butt!! hahaha.
    Best book for my boys was 123 Magic. Simple concept, works for them.

    • Fitnessista on September 12, 2011 at 8:33 pm

      ahhhh!

  23. Laury @ thefitnessdish on September 12, 2011 at 8:28 pm

    I just started making a list of books. My mom did this great thing at my shower and had everyone bring a book to start Ella’s library. I am looking into good books to teach her good life lessons and things. I added that one to my list!!!!

    I am so bad. I really need to get some baby books. Like I said to you at HLS I didn’t study up enough for “baby” I was an expert with the pregnancy stuff reading everything…but a bad student as far as baby went which is so not like me. I guess I heard so many things and didn’t want to get myself all freaked out. But I need to…especially about food stuff because she will be eating solids soon and I want to educate myself as much as poss. I got “Super Baby Food” I plan on making my own food too. That’s the only thing I have been learning about from “books.” I was lucky with her sleep patterns although they are starting to change which I heard they might.

    Most annoying thing when I was pregnant…people telling me I needed to “eat a steak.” When I really watched what I ate, did so much research and ate all the nutrients baby needed to grow, beet juice and beet greens for lots of iron on top of my prenatals. It really annoyed me when people told me what I should be eating. I was like, don’t you think I know what’s bst for my body and baby? These were people confessing to me that they ate nothing but ice cream cakes during their pregnancy. Liek entire ones for dinner with no real dinner. I didn’t judge them why are they judging me? Anyhoo….that list is so right. No one ever asked to touch my belly, which was funny because I hear that happens a lot. I guess I gave out the “don’t touch me” vibe 😉

  24. Tracy on September 12, 2011 at 8:30 pm

    This isn’t earth shattering advice but I was super strict about nap and bed time. Babies and kids need sleep! If they get enough sleep, everything is easier. They are happier, better behaved and healthier! To this day my 4 kids (15, 13, 12 & 12 years old) are all great sleepers and I attribute that to early good habits.

    Also, remember that all kids are different. Discipline that works for one kid may not work for another. This is just another one of the many challenges of parenthood!

  25. AR on September 12, 2011 at 8:56 pm

    The most effective punishment I remember is timeouts in the bathroom. There were 3 of us growing up and while it was always rowdy, things usually escalated at the dinner table (pea throwing, teasing, “i don’t want to eat this” tantrums, etc). Whenever the group got truly crazy my dad sent the instigator (usually me, hahaha) to the bathroom for a timeout. It worked wonders because there were no toys and was boring as could be (plus, I hated missing out on the family group fun). Sometimes we ALL got sent (one to the powder room, one to the kids’ bathroom, one to the laundry room). They were never long time outs, but man I hated it… I’m totally using it on my future kids 🙂

  26. Hannah on September 12, 2011 at 9:00 pm

    Gah I did the “that didn’t hurt” thing too…but then I got spanked harder (swear my parents were not child abusers)! I also told my mom she could make me say I was sorry but she couldn’t make me mean it when I did something mean to my little brother. Superbrat. I don’t have any kids, but like some of the above commenters, I had very lax rule (no drinking, especially no drinking and driving, and no drugs), and I was pretty goody-goody as well. I *may* have broken the first rule a couple of times senior year of HS, but I never broke the others because I didn’t want to lose my parents’ trust and have strict rules.

  27. theorist on September 12, 2011 at 9:01 pm

    I am thinking about getting #7 made into some t-shirts. Seriously. I have heard these rude comments for women aged 25-40 and it is always RUDE. The last time I heard the opps question being asked we tried to laugh it off to spare the target of the question and the asker said “No really, I want to know” to a person she had just met as a follow-up. o_O

  28. Missy on September 12, 2011 at 9:02 pm

    My #1 bit of advice I give to every parent is GO WITH THE FLOW. Everyday is different, you cant be rigid. One night they sleep then they dont for weeks. One day they eat, they love the foods you make, then they dont, then they do.
    Just be consistent with love and support and the rest will follow.
    We have tried to use 1-2-3 magic chart and take things away but it doesnt seem to phase boys
    We now just talk to them and hug kiss let it be done. I feel like emotional support is better now and then when they are teens you prob wont have to discipline bc you set up a great trusting foundation

    books we liked were Gentle Discipline
    unconditional parenting
    any of the fun ones you posted above, and all of the PK books are AWESOME! We have them all
    http://www.pkhallinan.com/

  29. Trainer Kjirsten @ Balanced Healthy Life on September 12, 2011 at 9:21 pm

    I love this post! My husband told me the other say I made him look skinny when I pulled up my shirt to show him my big baby bump! He then compared his stomach to mine before he said he comment! I know it came out wrong but he has been watching what he says for days now!!!

  30. The Healthy Hostess on September 12, 2011 at 9:24 pm

    Our parenting advice would be:
    1. Go with your heart and your gut. If you feel like you want to take the baby to the dr. just to check then do it! It won’t hurt anyone and can only make you feel better!
    2. Be a team on decisions. If you decide to work together and be a team when the bebe is little, you will be able to stay a team when things are more challenging. Having the baby/kid/teen see you guys as a team will be better for everyone!
    YAY! So happy for you guys!

  31. Shaya (Eye Girl Eats) on September 12, 2011 at 9:30 pm

    I think the big baby/belly comments are maybe meant to be a good thing (like that it’s healthy for the baby to be born big), but I’m guessing it’s a generational thing? Is it older people who are saying that to you? If a young person is then they’re just kinda out of touch with politeness.

    And i love feeling kicks in a belly, but I would never ask to touch a stranger’s belly, EVER. Personal space please!

  32. Emily on September 12, 2011 at 9:35 pm

    I love the message of that book! I think parenting is changing so much between when we were kids, kids now, and the newest babies being born. There seems to be a lot more positive psychology involved than ever before. I love the idea of strengths based approach, looking at what a child can succeed at rather than focusing on the struggles. Self-esteem is so important for a kid…but your little GH bun in the oven is way away from that. The love and support she needs is already there 🙂

  33. Erin on September 12, 2011 at 10:18 pm

    Love & Logic Parenting-there are tons of great books for specific ages. The website is helpful too. http://www.loveandlogic.com
    I teach Love & Logic at Ft. Riley and would be happy to answer any questions you have about getting started.

    • Fitnessista on September 12, 2011 at 11:44 pm

      awesome- thank you!

  34. Nicole on September 12, 2011 at 10:38 pm

    I have just one piece of advice. 🙂
    Be consistent and if you threaten punishment – ALWAYS follow through. If you don’t that sets a very bad president that you can be swayed and are not true to your word.

    You are a sweet person and you are going to be a great mother! I can just tell. You’ll always have her best interests at heart.

    • Fitnessista on September 12, 2011 at 11:44 pm

      that’s a great point! my dad used to always say “i’m going to ground you!” and never did.
      thank you- i hope so <3

  35. Gia @ rungiarun on September 12, 2011 at 11:02 pm

    I am going to second the importance of sleep habits. A few reads are:
    http://www.amazon.com/Twelve-Hours-Sleep-Weeks-Step/dp/0525949593
    http://www.amazon.com/Healthy-Sleep-Habits-Happy-Child/dp/0449004023

    Using my own adaptations of these books (every family is different) I was able to have my twins sleeping 12 hours consistently by 4 months old. They are still wonderful sleepers and I thank these books almost daily!

    Another concept that I used was from The Secrets of the Baby Whisperer. She talks about making sure that your little one has some active time after eating and before going to sleep. It helps with digestion issues, reflux and promotes more restful sleep. I loved this because I connect with the concept. I dont feel well if I sleep just after eating, why would my baby?

    http://www.amazon.com/Secrets-Baby-Whisperer-Connect-Communicate/dp/0345440900

    However you are going to be amazing … trust your instincts they will guide you.

  36. Erin @ Girl Gone Veggie on September 12, 2011 at 11:37 pm

    Gina you are going to be a GREAT mom! I am so excited you’re having a little girl! Thanks for all the updates along the way!

  37. Kara on September 13, 2011 at 2:06 am

    I obviously have no idea what your parenting style is but Alfie Kohn has an interesting perspective in his book Unconditional Parenting. I don’t have any kids yet but my husband and I are in the process of adopting and this book really made me think. Best wishes for you guys <3

  38. mary on September 13, 2011 at 2:33 am

    I read a ton of parenting books and my very favorite was Becky Bailey’s “Easy to Love, Difficult to Discipline”. My daughter is so dang easy she never needs formal discipline, so I don’t even really recall the principles just that it was very love-based and made a ton of sense. Our school district uses her principles in their Parent University programs, too (Mesa Public Schools).

    My daughter used to ask me what I was reading all the time and I’d tell her ‘books about how to be a better mom’. Once when I lost my temper and yelled (she was maybe 3 or 4) she said, “I think you need to go read those books some more!” So cute.

  39. Carrie on September 13, 2011 at 6:46 am

    Teach them how much they are loved by God and to follow His commands. Love me and love thy neighbor.

  40. jan on September 13, 2011 at 8:30 am

    Love the idea about writing essays! It really makes a child think about what they’ve done and the consequences. A couple of book recommendations: Parenting from the Inside Out by Daniel Siegel (all his books are really good), and How to Talk so Kids will Listen and Listen so Kids will Talk by Adele Faber. Also, NutureShock by Po Bronson is well researched and will make you think twice about some of the parenting ideas we take for granted.
    I think you and the Pilot will be great parents! I know that after reading your post about the Mother’s Day card your Mom gave you, “Thank you for making me a mother.” Sounds like you’ve had a great role model for parenting.

  41. Amanda- The Nutritionist Reviews on September 13, 2011 at 9:25 am

    I love that list of what not to say to a pregnant woman. Some people think that they can say whatever they want!

  42. Annette on September 13, 2011 at 9:31 am

    If anyone has told you that you are big – they are crazy! Everytime you post a picture of yourself I think how awesome you look and hope one day I can stay in such good shape when I’m pregnant.

  43. Kristen on September 13, 2011 at 9:44 am

    Kids will *always* react to your reaction. I have a friend whom I love dearly, but makes a huge deal out of everything that happens to her daughter. Her daughter was having a hard time with some girls at school – typical kid stuff – and she has told her daughter over and over again how mean those girls are and how she will protect her. Everyday when her daughter comes home from school, she asks her several questions about what the mean girls did to her today. As a result, her daughter is fearful of being away from her mom, and believes most little girls are going to be mean to her. I know that my friend is doing it all out of love, but it’s a very sad thing to watch…and she can’t seem to see the harm it’s doing. Just my two cents!

    You are, however, the cutest pregnant woman ever. I get the whole “pregnant women glow” thing now…. 🙂

  44. Leanne (Bride to Mrs.) on September 13, 2011 at 10:18 am

    I love the idea of that book! I feel like even adults could learn something from it! 🙂

  45. Anne Marie@New Weigh of Life on September 13, 2011 at 10:55 am

    Oh my goodness….if I had a dime for every time I heard about someone’s awful labor story, I’d be rich!! There I was, 9 months preggo and everyone I met kept telling me how horrible their experience was. I was freaked out!! And you know what? After all that worrying, it’s not so horrible afterall.

    • Fitnessista on September 13, 2011 at 10:59 am

      it’s so nice to hear things like that! people keep telling me their bloody and gory stories, too

  46. Kristin on September 13, 2011 at 11:39 am

    I love that you share all of the books you’ve been reading to prepare you for the baby. I’m the same way about preparing for things, so bookmarking all of those posts for when I need them. Don’t forget to let us known if you find any more that you like! 🙂

  47. megan on September 13, 2011 at 12:40 pm

    I would just like to say, that as a mother of three children, and a former ballerina who STILL suffers from disordered eating and crazy body image issues, the most important thing to me is to teach my children to love their bodies and their minds and treat them like a temple. I did enough damage to my own self, and I just don’t want my children to go through the same thing. Self-confidence is the number one character trait that I want my kiddos to have. That way, they are kind to themselves, kind to others, and all is right with the world. Sometimes….:)

  48. Shaina on September 13, 2011 at 12:57 pm

    haha…I turned around and said “that didn’t hurt!” one time – ONE. My mom spanked me all the way to my room.

  49. MMalloy on September 13, 2011 at 1:04 pm

    “Are they natural” (in referance to Twins) “No they are the plastic kind” … I have so much fun with that one!

  50. Sejal M on September 13, 2011 at 2:10 pm

    My biggest parenting tip:

    Never say never.

    You never know what you’ll resort to when your little one is having a tantrum in public, or you’re home alone with your toddler and your sick with the flu, or your little one just wont eat anything you’ve prepared.
    Basically, bribing, TV and junk food happen sometimes 🙂

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