The best kale chips

Mystery #1:

Our lime/orange/grapefruit tree.

tree (2)

When we first moved in, I was convinced that they were limes.

Then they turned orange and are now splitting open.


A fruit mystery, fo sho.

Mystery #2:

Our dehydrator is broken.


You see, things go in… but they never come out. They just disappear.


The most recent disappearing act: Cool Ranch Kale Chips!


Check out the little sprinkles of flavored goodness:

kale (2)

I’m really glad that they were super easy to make, because it looks like I may have to whip up another batch. Our house also smells like an onion, but it was 100% worth it.

Cool Ranch Kale Chips

Raw, vegan, gluten-free, ridiculous

Active prep time: 10 minutes

Total time: 7 hours (1 hour for the cashews to soak and 6 for dehydration)

Yield: ??


-1 C raw cashews, soaked in water for 1 hour to soften

-1 bunch of kale


-1/8 C water

-1 T apple cider vinegar

-1 T nutritional yeast

-1 t dried chives

-1/2 t dried parsley

-1/4 t garlic powder

-1/4 t dried dill

-1/4 t sea salt

-1/4 red onion, thinly sliced


-paprika and extra sea salt for pre-dehydration sprinkling

-Gum and floss (for later)


1.) Blend the cashews, water and seasonings in a blender until smooth. Place mixture in the bottom of a large mixing bowl and add the sliced onions.


2.) Wash the kale and remove the stems. Tear off chip-sized pieces of the kale and add to the bowl. Using your hands, massage the mixture onto the kale bites so that each piece is well coated.

3.) Transfer the kale to 1-2 Tefflex sheets and sprinkle with paprika and additional sea salt.

kale (3)

4.) Dehydrate for 6-8 hours at 115*.. if they last that long 😉 You can also make these on a cookie sheet and bake in the oven, on the lowest setting with the door slightly ajar.

5.) Feast, floss, gum.

Let me know if any of you try these! I’d love to hear if you enjoy them as much as I do.

I’m back to work for bellydance, a level 1 dance cardio class, and stretch.

See ya later! <3



Playlist: Here’s a playlist I made for one of this morning’s cardio/strength classes. It’s a mix of some of my old and newer favorites, and bonus: it should match up perfectly with the Turkey Treadmill Workout. Enjoy 🙂


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  1. Mmmm it’s been a while since I had some kale chips. No dehydrator in my house, so mine are made in the oven, but you’ve just convinced me to pick up a bundle of green goodness on the way home from work today!

  2. A dehydrator is on my list for Christmas!! Do you recommend any special kinds?

    • Fitnessista says:

      i use the excalibur 9-tray and love it

      • is a dehydrator a lot better than just oven-cooking???!! I know it takes longer … is all this extra time really worth it? (just asking before I invest!)

        • Fitnessista says:

          it’s not that it’s *better*- the lower temps just preserve the nutrients in whatever you’re making and uses less energy than an oven. you can make a lot of creations in the dehydrator- pie crusts, fruit leather, kale chips, macaroons, raw cookies, raw pizza crusts, cookies, etc

  3. Ohhh! Love this recipe! I’ve had store bought ranch kale chips, but am loving your ingredients. Must make soon 🙂

  4. OMG! I want to leave work right now to get these in my oven! I can’t wait try these!

  5. I’ve been craving kale recently!

  6. Time to steal… I mean borrow my mom’s dehydrator. These look worth the gum and floss!

  7. my boyfriend also follows your blog and he is going to swoon when he sees your recipe for homemade kale chips. i haven’t tried any yet, not completely sold. are they really as yummy as everyone says?

  8. I love this line: “Raw, vegan, gluten-free, ridiculous”. Yes, these sound and look awesome! I need to pick up a few ingredients, but I’m bookmarking this recipe for later.

    Good call on the floss. Nothing like eating kale chips and then realizing much later in the day that you had them stuck in your teeth…and no one told you.

  9. What do the fruits taste like? We also have a weird citrus tree in our backyard (in CA) – they look kinda like oranges, but taste much more like lemons with a hint of orange (ie, you couldn’t eat them as a fruit like you could an orange). Our best guess for ours is a Ponderosa lemon, which is a cross between a lemon and a citron – do you think it’s something like that? . We use them like we would lemons.

  10. gah i want to try these so bad! but i found out i am allergic to yeast, bakers and nutritional.. is it crucial for the nutritional yeast to be added into the recipe do you think, or would it be good without?

  11. with all of the new foods flying around I wouldn’t be surprised if that was a lemon/lime/orange.

  12. Gina they sound fabulous! I used to eat Cool Ranch Doritos in junior high and high school like it was my job.

    I have to try these. Because my dehydrator isn’t broken 🙂 good one!

    Happy Thanksgiving!

  13. It could be a fruit cocktail tree. I have one that produces lemons and oranges.

  14. i say grab one (non-split) fruit and give it a taste! i can’t imagine they’d plant some sort of poisonous fruit tree in a house’s back yard 🙂

  15. That pic of the spices on the belly is priceless… when she comes out and wants nothing but kale chips, you’ll know why 🙂

  16. I love the crumbs on the belly! When I was pregnant I was always making a mess eating, Now all my maternity clothes have stains on the belly! memories!

  17. I’m considering getting a dehydrator but can’t go for it because I’ve never seen one “in action.” My biggest concern is the noise level (I live in a one bedroom apartment), so I wouldn’t be able to escape the sound if it is! Could you describe how loud they get?


  18. Your tree is most likely a navel orange. Here is some information on navel orange trees in Arizona and why the fruit split.

  19. I have a tree at our new house and we’re going through the exact same thing! At first I thought lime, but now maybe oranges? I wish it was avocado.

  20. I dream of having citrus tree outside my house!

  21. I have never really gotten into kale chips, but these look incredible!

  22. That flavour of kale chips sounds amazing! But I’m allergic to cashews (and all other nuts except almonds). 🙁 Any suggestions for substitutions?

  23. I saw you today! I was the annoying girl peeking in on the Boomin Babies (or something) class at Canyon Ranch. I forget if you teach here, but if so, I’d love to take a class with you! Here til Sunday. Happy Thanksgiving!!

  24. I had the same thing happen when I moved into my house — we had limes, no lemons, no oranges! Turns out we have all three, but they cross-pollinate. After four years I figured out that the lemons are always lemons, and oranges are always oranges … But limes ate sometimes limes and sometimes lemon-limes. No matter, the important thing is, it’s still a great margarita!

  25. I’m totally in love with the playlists tailored for a certain HR. I know I can get in the zone and just find the rhythm, whether I’m running or lifting weights. 🙂

  26. Haha, I loved this post. Not really sure why – maybe just the randomness of it all or it has personality and real written all over it. My little way of saying you’re a breath of fresh air in what’s becoming a stale “healthy living blog” community.

  27. I have to agree with Ryane. The time and effort you put into your post is apparent. I look forward to reading because the content is interesting, informative, and motivational. Thank you for being a bright light! I like reading your views on fitness and foods etc. But I love that you share your life in such a sweet way.
    Happy Thanksgiving!

    • Fitnessista says:

      thank you, leslie! i enjoy writing the blog so much, and write it for you guys, so whenever i get feedback (positive or negative), i really appreciate it.
      thank you for the kind words <3
      have a happy thanksgiving!

  28. Those look so good! Are dehydrators really expensive? I’ve found cheap ones but wasn’t sure if there was a difference in quality. I just want to be able to make kale chips! haha

    • Fitnessista says:

      there are a lot of different types- i think the major convenience with the excalibur is that it’s pretty huge. smaller ones work just as well, but you can’t make as many goodies

    • Therese says:

      Hi, you may have gotten a dehydrator already but I did buy the Nesco American Harvest Garden Master. It was like $130 on Amazon and came with 8 trays and 8 fruit roll sheets and 8 other mesh trays plus a nice recipe book. You can add on more trays that you can buy to this one as well so yes you can do a lot of food at one time. It did the kale chips awesomely. I also did a few tomatoes with some ground rosemary and sea salt and some multi colored peppers. OMG!!! It really brought out the sweetness of those things. I looked at the more expensive ones but the majority still have the plastic trays so went with the cheaper one with the good reviews. The temp can be adjusted from 95 to 160 degrees. This way I can afford more KALE!!! Yum!!!

  29. I wonder if those are Meyer Lemons! You must try them! Those kale look amazing. Ah.Maz.zing.

  30. Therese says:

    I have just started using my new dehydrator and made some Kale Chips the other day. Being allergic to cashews I eliminated them. The chips were still awesome plus I didn’t have all the calories from the cashews so when I ate tons of them I actually didn’t get many calories at all. I just used the nutritional yeast, lime juice as I am also allergic to lemon and the red pepper and just a bit of sea salt. Seems the lime makes them taste salty. I have also made them in the oven and my experience was that it was easier to over bake them and then mine got bitter. The oven is so much quicker though which makes it the best option in the case of a craving….lol!!!

  31. I started making these later than I planned. But I was wondering, how would I store these? (Besides in my stomach– the “sauce” was delicious prior to being put on the kale)!

  32. I just made these and they are FANTASTIC! I used walnuts and hazelnuts bc I had on hand but I like what turned out better than the store bought! Yum!


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