June 3: The sweetest sound

Today I finally had my ultrasound! I was a WRECK leading up to it because I was so anxious to find out if everything was ok. 9 weeks is a long time to wonder, ya know? I texted Sabrina and Beth each about 20 times and they were so lovely and encouraging- I needed it, fo sho.

We get there early for the appointment and have to wait about 40 minutes, so the Pilot entertains me by taking pictures with the Alien Booth and Zombie Booth apps on his phone (I make one scary-looking zombie) and then the tech calls us back.

This tech should never have been hired into a position in which you have to interact with people. She had the personality of Bella’s water dish.

I lie down on the table and we’re trying to make small talk with her (which is failing miserably), and she squirts the goo on my stomach and presses down HARD with the contraption.

I always thought that they were gentle during ultrasounds, but no. It was really uncomfortable to have her press so firmly –I wanted to say “hey, I think you’re smashing my baby, mmmk ?”- and on the screen was a black hole.

An empty, black hole.

She sighed (yes, sighed!!!!) and started to input measurements onto the screen as she changed angles.

I asked her if everything looked ok and she said, “I can’t comment on that.”

As I looked at the Pilot, who was holding my hand, my lip started to tremble and I immediately talked myself out of crying.

And then on the screen, she had zoomed into a white, kidney-bean looking figure.

Our baby.

photo (56)

I watched it intently, waiting to see what was next and what I was waiting for happened within a few seconds: the bright flashes of light that was its heartbeat.

The heart’s beating!!

She pressed down even more firmly (owwww!) and told me to be still. It wasn’t until then that I realized I had been shaking the entire time.

And then we heard the best sound I’ve ever heard: the quick pace and thump of a strong, perfect heartbeat.

That moment right there was one of the peaks of my life. We met with the midwife who told us the tech noticed a lot of fetal movement (he/she is flipping and swimming around in there!), got our photos (which we immediately sent to the parents) and celebrated at Little Poca Cosa for lunch.

lemonade me

Now, we have our own poca cosa (“small thing”), and from what we can tell, it’s alive, healthy and hopefully happy, because we’re over the moon. 🙂

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  1. Gina – I love these posts– so wonderful that you wrote down everything as you went 🙂 These are so beautiful & real (um, and I totally teared up reading this one… what an incredible moment!) Congratulations again <3

  2. Love these Gina, thank you so so much for sharing all of this with us.

  3. I just read all of your pregnancy posts, thanks for sharing! I totally cried at the picture of you telling the Pilot. I’m so happy for you both! My first pregnancy was such a magical time for me & my husband, so glad you two are able to cherish every day of it together.

    I’m pregnant with my second now and can’t wait for your maternity fashion posts!

  4. It is so great to hear how happy you are! I have been extremely nervous about taking the plunge myself, and I am looking forward to following this part of your health journey!

  5. Just read all of your posts on here and they are so amazing. I love that you wrote down your feelings throughout even though you weren’t sharing them at the time. It seems so real because it was a=boviously how you felt at the time, not writing about it 10 weeks later. Good luck to you both on this journey and congrats again!

  6. Congratulations, Gina! I’ve read all the posts so far, and they are just so honest and great. Even though they may not be in your typical voice, it’s incredibly honest to really, truly share what you felt. Reading about the heartbeat made me tear up! Can’t wait to continue reading along your journey. 🙂

  7. AHHH I got goosebumps!!!

  8. This is such a beautiful post (heartbeat-wise, not rude tech-wise). I’m at my desk tearing up right now 🙂 Congrats!

  9. Jennifer says:

    I LOVED this post!! I am so excited for you!! Being a mommy Labor and Delivery nurse I am SO excited to read about this journey with you both!!!!

  10. Congrats! I’m expecting my first also and it is so exciting. Just wait til you get to feel the baby’s first kicks! I’d rec picking up a fetal doppler (make sure it works in the second tri, some of the inexpensive models only work in the third). It’s so nice to be able to hear LO’s heartbeat whenever I want to. They typically don’t pick up the HB til 12-15w, though.

  11. Hearing that sound for the first time is such a beautiful thing! We called our little girl flicker for a few months because of that glorious flickering on the ultrasound screen! 🙂 enjoy these moments!

  12. Awwww, G <3 I love all of these posts so much! This has nothing to do with this particular post, but I had my second daughter with midwives at a birth center. It was amazing and I think your experience will be just perfect. There's a book I think you should read, it's called Ina May's Guide to Childbirth. Ina May is an awesome midwife that has tons of experience and that particular book will give you lots of insight and all that jazz. Congratulations on your little kidney bean <3 And thank you for sharing this huge part of your life with us.

  13. I read some of the other girls comments saying they cried when they read your posts, and I thought “Psh…I won’t cry. I’m not a baby person.” But here I am, in my grad school office, weepy eyed as I finish reading all your future mamma posts.

    I’m just…overwhelmed with emotion for you and I never thought I could be about ANY baby (lol). I feel like I know you through this blog and like you’re just one of my girlfriends. I think these posts just kicked my ovaries and were like, YOU ARE FEMALE!! YOU LOVE BABIES! ahaha Thank you for that 😀

    Anyways, I really really really enjoyed reading them and your honesty and candidness is truly heartwarming. I will be wishing you luck and following you the whole way through your pregnancy. Can’t wait to hear more about baby fitnessista/pilot 😀

    You are very lucky to have an amazing husband (and vice versa!!) and its truly a joy to read your posts.

  14. Aw, awesome! I’m really enjoying all your pregnancy posts so far. I remember going for my first ultrasounds. It’s like a huge sigh of relief. I was really really sick both times but I was still so relieved to see my babies 😀
    What’s with ultrasound techs? Seriously, mine have always been awful too. They must realize what an emotional state the other person is in, and even if they don’t mine have never even really been nice 🙁

  15. Oh my goodness!! That’s amazing. I can imagine how first not seeing her (or him) would be terrifying. That first glimps must have been amazing. 🙂 So glad she’s healthy and alreayd growing so fast!!

  16. I loved all of these, Gina!! glad Pilot was here after all. Things do happen for a reason <3 Can't wait to keep reading!

  17. Obvi, the grape is practicing his/her dance trance moves : )

  18. I loved all the posts! I’m sure my work thanks you for my productivity this morning! 😉
    Again – wishing you the best, def. keep these coming.They are perfect!

  19. I’m super excited for you two!!! Congrats on your new little bean =)

  20. In the interest of keeping it real…

    You’re lucky they didn’t put an ultrasound wand up your hoo hah! That’s what they did with me at 8/9 weeks!

  21. Gina I can’t wait for more family posts! I’m so so so happy for you both! Seriously I’ve been proper filling up reading everything, and I wish you all the best! I’m so glad you get to have your pregnancy at home with yolur family and Pilot around you.

  22. Jennifer says:

    Yay!!! I am SO excited for you guys! You’re going to LOVE it! I love the family tab too! <3 Can't wait to hear more! 😀

  23. So beautiful Gina! Loved these posts and I can’t wait to read more about everything! Especially the hormone drugs you took with the help from your homeopathic doctor…I’m wondering if that’s something I should look into since I haven’t gotten my period yet after going off BC and we want to start trying soon….thanks Gina and again so happy for you and the pilot! 🙂

  24. Gina-
    Thanks for sharing these posts with us. I can defintely tell the mood difference in them, and why you wanted to wait to post them. I am really excited for you two! I live at Fort Hood, and have lots of friends who went through what you guys did with trying to get pregnant. Its so hard when they are gone from any where between 6-15 months!

  25. These posts are just so beautiful. Thank you so much for taking us along on this journey with you 🙂

  26. Laura J. says:

    Love your family posts!! 🙂 Can’t wait to read more!

    You are glowing in the picture at Little Poca Cosa 🙂 You are going to be the most adorable pregnant chica!

  27. Oh my gosh, no way! Your ultrasound tech is a grumpy lady too! Hahaha, it’s GOTTA be the job (which makes no sense, if I was an ultrasound tech I’d be squeeing for each and every little baby). Congrats! They should let you listen to the heartbeat at every appointment starting at around 11 weeks with a doppler, it’s the sweetest and most reassuring sound ever!

    I think you can even borrow dopplers from your doc or buy them on ebay to have a listen yourself. 🙂

  28. CONGRATS!!! How exciting!!

  29. I had so much fun reading all of your posts. Such a good idea to be writing posts before you shared your news. I was wondering if you were preggo because you said a few times how your appetite was really off lately. 🙂 So happy for you + the Pilot!!! <3 Wishing you the best!

  30. kirsten says:

    I read all of these posts today and almost cried at my desk! I am so happy for you and can’t wait for more posts about the baby on this family tab. 🙂

  31. I don’t know if its my fluctuating Estrogen levels, the fact that my boyfriend of 5 yrs and I have been talking about marriage and babies, or simply because I feel like you’re my “blog friend”- and I get insanely happy when happy things happen to my friends… but I’m sitting here crying after reading these Family posts!

    It may sound redundant after hundreds of people have told you this already- but CONGRATULATIONS ! !
    I look forward to reading about this new adventure you’re on. =)

  32. Congrats again Gina! I loooove the pregnancy blobs! Keep them coming please;)

  33. You need to report that tech. She could have been having a bad day but that’s bullshit. Also, I’m 30 week pregnant and have had a few ultrasounds myself, and they have never pressed down in a painful manner. Honestly, I would call he office manager and let them know your experience (and the sigh! OMG! Ridiculously inappropriate in that setting!).

  34. Congratulations on your growing family! You and the pilot are lovely and I wish you a very happy and healthy pregnancy! <3

    Your post made me cry – happy tears for you, and also tears of sympathy because I know how scary it is to wait for news from the ultrasound tech. I remember laying there on the table with my stomach churning, waiting for a heartbeat. Sadly, I never got to hear my bean's heartbeat (lost my little one at only eight weeks), but I can't wait for that sound and most of all that feeling! I'm a military wife as well, and I feel like this baby-making thing is taking FOREVER, what with him away all of the time. We've been trying (as best we can, anyway!) for almost a year. At least we'll be living together again come July…that's gotta help, right? 😉

    AND, not to be graphic, but you're lucky they didn't shove a wand up your girly bits! Trust me, that is NOT one of life's highlights! Haha!

    • Errr…as soon as I hit post, I realized how stupid this was. I wish I could delete the middle part and just leave the part where I say “congratulations!”

      I’m sorry if my post upset or bothered you in any way. Please delete it if it did!

      Sending you and your small thing lots of love!

      • Fitnessista says:

        not at all, i just feel sad for you <3
        thinking of you and hope that it all comes together soon!

  35. Congratulations!! Such exciting news and I’m so happy for you! (just catching up on blog reading if you couldn’t tell :)) Love the family posts! Keep em coming!

  36. I swear, no blog ever made me cry as much as yours does. I don’t think any other blog ever has made me cry! Ahhh I am SO happy for your whole family!!

  37. Wow, I just teared up reading this too. <3

  38. Marshall says:

    I definitely teared up on this one. I’m glad everything is going well!

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