a secret (January 17, 2015)

Even though we only just started not-not-trying, I forgot what it felt like to have this little hope, and feel like you’re carrying a really exciting secret. I’m not even sure what will happen this month, and don’t have high expectations since we’re just now TTC, but I’ve been thinking about baby #2 and how much I’ll savor this pregnancy, the newborn phase (even with angry elf crying), and really everything.

Everyone told me to “enjoy every second” when Liv was a newborn, which at the time made me want to simultaneously laugh (because how could I enjoy being a sleep-deprived zombie, feeling like a dairy cow with the pumping contraption attached to me, and being flooded with so much anxiety I couldn’t relax or sleep at night), and cry, because babies really do grow so quickly. Also, well, you cry a lot when those hormones are all over the place. 😉 I totally get it now. I consciously savored Liv’s newborn phase: her baby snores, the sweet way she smelled, the coos, sleeping on my chest, how tiny her little fingers and toes were, her gummy smile. Now, she’s a very independent little threenager. The days were long, but three years FLEW BY. 

Since this will very likely be our last baby, if we’re blessed to get pregnant again, it will feel like the end of a chapter and the start of a new one. The end of our “having babies” chapter, into having kids, who grow into adults. This is where I hold Bella into the air like a Baby Simba and sing “Circle of Life.”

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69 Comments

  1. Samantha on April 2, 2015 at 2:08 pm

    I love reading these.. starting reading the blog after Liv was born so I missed out on reading them as you posted. Appreciate the realness in the posts. And would love to see a pic of Bella in the air 🙂

  2. Amanda @ Slimplify Life on April 2, 2015 at 2:10 pm

    Ohhh these tiny reveals are so fun! My parents had 2 girls (my older sister and I are 3 years apart) and then thought they were done…until another little blessing came 15 years later, so we now have an 18 year and 15 year age gap. Ya never know what God has in store for you :).

  3. Brynn on April 2, 2015 at 2:43 pm

    Wishing you all the best. I have a six month old, my first and I’m doing my best to savor all of the sweet and sour.

  4. Alex on April 2, 2015 at 2:57 pm

    I love reading these 🙂 I don’t have any children yet, but it’s so nice to get a mamma’s perspective on TTC and life with little ones so I can see what awaits me down the (not so long) road.

  5. Lindsey on April 2, 2015 at 3:20 pm

    This makes me smile. 🙂 best wishes for you and your sweet family!

  6. Morgan on April 2, 2015 at 3:38 pm

    So if this was from January… Does that mean you’re now about 3 months preggers?? If so, a big congrats and thanks for sharing such a special time with us!

  7. Anita on April 2, 2015 at 3:47 pm

    I love that you wrote these and saved them! Though I’m not a mama yet, the way you write is so incredibly relatable and (as cheesy as this might sound) — it’s really touching.

    Always, Anita

  8. Purelytwins on April 2, 2015 at 5:11 pm

    thinking of you!! it is so true how fast they grow up! I can’t believe my little girl is 6 months! I am hoping to be blessed with another child one day too 🙂 hugs

  9. Katie A. on April 2, 2015 at 5:26 pm

    I love this – so true! While I did my best to enjoy the newborn phase with my now-15 month old, there were a lot of times I felt anxious and overwhelmed and wished away the days until she was older. Now, that makes me sad and I like to think I’ll really be able to savor future babies because I truly KNOW deep-down how quickly it goes. Easy to say now that I’m sleeping 😉

    Can’t wait to read more of these posts!!

  10. kate on April 2, 2015 at 6:03 pm

    GINA. I have GOT to believe that you’re pregnant. I’ve been reading these “special” posts since you hinted a few days ago that you would be updating your family page. I know I’m just a blog reader and we’ve never met/aren’t friends in person, but your blog has meanest much to me since I started reading it, and I genuinely feel like you’re a “friend” that I’m so happy to celebrate for! Best wishes to your family!

  11. Becky @ TheBexFactor.com on April 2, 2015 at 6:04 pm

    I wish I could hit rewind and relive my son again as a baby. I’m not sure what I would do differently, if anything, but I just want those moments again. As a single mom, I don’t know if I will ever have another baby. Enjoy all of the moments through whatever anxiety and emotions meet you this time. Thanks for sharing <3

  12. Karen on April 2, 2015 at 7:11 pm

    Thank you so much for these beautiful posts. They are so real and very informative as I hope to start growing my family soon, too.

  13. Jaime M on April 2, 2015 at 8:05 pm

    These family posts are sooooo sweet. Love them! You’ll be amazing 🙂 Can’t wait to read more.

  14. Jessica on April 2, 2015 at 8:21 pm

    I’m so excited if this means what I think it does!! Although we don’t know each other in real life, I’ve been followng your blog for years and have loved getting to know you through it. (Hope that doesn’t sound creepy!) As a mom of a 3 year old and a 6 month old I’ll tell ya…two kids is no effing joke. BUT, it’s also the greatest thing ever. I can’t even remember life as a mom of one. Life is so much sweeter now. I know you’ll know that feeling soon!! Much love!

  15. Amy S on April 2, 2015 at 8:27 pm

    Sounds like it is a very exciting time for you and your family!! 🙂

  16. Cynthia on April 2, 2015 at 11:45 pm

    I’m sorry, but I wish you would just make the announcement instead of letting back dated posts do it for you.

    • Lindsey on April 3, 2015 at 12:13 am

      I agree. This just seems like a way for more clicks… idk.

    • Monica on April 3, 2015 at 5:32 am

      Me too. Sorry but not getting a clear answer, I have lost interest in reading.

    • Liz on April 3, 2015 at 6:34 am

      I have to agree. I’m thrilled for you, but I’m pretty confused by this whole thing.

    • Fitnessista on April 3, 2015 at 7:18 am

      I’ll explain everything next week

    • Fitnessista on April 3, 2015 at 7:20 am

      I shared backdated posts when I was pregnant with liv, and thought it would be fun to share this journey. I’m putting this all on the family page so those who’d like to skip these can do so

      • Liz on April 3, 2015 at 8:20 am

        I LOVE reading your backdated posts, I’m just a little confused about the timing, that’s all. Either way, I’m thrilled for you and can’t wait to hear more.

        • Fitnessista on April 3, 2015 at 8:50 am

          Thank you so much, Liz. Happy to hear you’ve been enjoying them- they were fun to write 🙂 I’ll have everything else up next week so it will all make sense
          Xo

          • Amanda on April 3, 2015 at 9:09 am

            I also love the backdated posts. Whether it means some exciting news or that news is still a few months away, I like hearing about the journey as it is so different for each person. I’m expecting my second in May so this is especially top of mind for me… now I can barely remember ‘trying’ for our second little girl. I cannot wait for more updates. Happy Easter to your family!



      • Oliva on April 3, 2015 at 9:08 am

        It is fun to share this journey. That’s why I am here. That’s probably why a lot of people are here. But as a reader, I have no idea what journey you are sharing. Are you sharing your journey to TTC? Or is all of this to say, you are pregnant (which means your journey to TTC is over)? Are the post backdated because you were scared to put it out there until now? Or are they backdated because you wanted to make it to a certain date in your pregnancy? When you suddenly start posting on a particular topic without any context in which to read it, it is confusing, at best.

        • Fitnessista on April 3, 2015 at 10:07 am

          I’m sorry. I should have intro-Ed or explained it better. It will all make sense next week. One of the hardest things about blogging is that you learn as you go, so maybe I should have waited to post these

          • Jaime M on April 3, 2015 at 9:51 pm

            idk, it’s not that confusing. She started trying in January. Bam- 3 months later Fitnessista’s sharing the news.

            Personally, I like how you keep the Family pages separate from the main fitness and recipes stuff.

            Just thought I’d throw my 2 cents in there. I like it when writers don’t overkill a subject. Man, I hate those blogs where you have to scroll for hours to get to the freakin recipe. You don’t always have to spell everything out 🙂 Inferences, people!



        • Danielle on April 3, 2015 at 11:02 pm

          I have to say that I agree. The posts are definitely hard to understand without any context. Should we be happy for you? Hopeful for the future? Sad? Without knowing any of those things, I’m just reading words without any feelings. But I do have to assume that you are expecting, which is why you’re posting backdated entries 3 months later. In that case, I’m happy for you 🙂

    • Jenn on April 3, 2015 at 9:17 am

      Have to agree that this just seems like a way to get more page clicks… and blog readers can figure that out. As a long time reader, it’s pretty off-putting to feel like you’re being baited just for clicks. If you are expecting, then congrats and I’m happy for you. But just wanted to provide some honest feedback.

      • Fitnessista on April 3, 2015 at 10:10 am

        It’s hurtful to hear that you think this is click bait, especially if you’ve read for a while and know that’s not how I roll. I agree I should have intro-ed better or explained it better, but with blogging, you learn as you go. I can’t expect it to go perfectly every time, even when I try my best for it to. These are personal posts that I was excited to share. I’ll be able to explain everything next week but I guess I should have waited to post these until then

        • Alexandra on April 3, 2015 at 10:21 am

          I for one am so glad that you decided to post these now! Regardless of what they are leading up to the are so raw and real and I have Loved reading them! I also think it was very considerate of you to post them on the family page so that those who aren’t as into them can simply choose to stay on the main page 🙂 love everything about your blog, girl! You do you!

        • Emily on April 3, 2015 at 11:02 am

          Thank you for sharing your journey with us! You are very brave to share your story openly and online! I have been following your blog for about 2 years, am a military spouse, nutrition student and I currently have an 8 month old. I love your family posts, I went back and read all about your journey to get pregnant with Liv as well as your birth story- when I was pregnant. I wish you and your family the absolute best! Keep on being you!

        • LindsayH on April 3, 2015 at 5:13 pm

          The point is, people are confused about why everything can’t make sense now. It would be really simple. Next week? I think this has backfired on you.

          • Fitnessista on April 3, 2015 at 7:08 pm

            IT definitely didn’t turn out the way it did in my brain. I’m sorry



        • Heather on April 4, 2015 at 3:56 am

          Gina, your true “fans” and loyal readers love ya! I love reading these posts and am waiting in suspense for the next one. Excited for whatever adventure is in store for your family next! We are in the process of adding our second as well. My son is 2 months younger than Liv and I’m currently 25 weeks with our second boy! 🙂

        • Jennifer on April 7, 2015 at 7:32 am

          That’s the thing though…you’re saying now that you “should have explained” but you still aren’t? Does not compute.

          • Fitnessista on April 7, 2015 at 8:25 am

            a new post would make more sense than going back to edit old posts. unfortunately, you can’t really go back in time and change the way you did things, but just make changes going forward



          • Jennifer on April 7, 2015 at 8:31 am

            That makes sense! 🙂 You’re absolutely right. Sorry, didn’t mean to be snarky. I woke up on the wrong side of the bed.



        • Kelly on April 7, 2015 at 2:58 pm

          I love reading these backdated posts! Don’t let the haters get you down. I’ve been reading your blog for years and I can’t wait to see what you post next!

  17. Jenni on April 3, 2015 at 5:57 am

    Such a cute post! I am so appreciative of you, your care, and your sense of humor! Envisioning you reenacting “The Circle of Life” made me laugh out loud 😀

  18. Erin @ Her Heartland Soul on April 3, 2015 at 6:21 am

    What an exciting time!! I’m so excited and happy for you!! <3

  19. Chelsea Anthony on April 3, 2015 at 8:29 am

    Such an exciting time , whether you’re still trying or you’re already pregnant. You can announce your pregnancy & post as many back-dated posts as you’d like. Ignore the negativity :). This is a special time in your life. Share as you see fit! xo

  20. Jill on April 3, 2015 at 9:16 am

    I also love reading the back-dated posts. Even if you aren’t currently pregnant (and I really hope you are), trying for a baby is such a special and emotional time. I think it’s something that women should talk about more with each other, to help each of us get through the journey. I love following along your journey, regardless of what the current outcome is.

  21. kristin | W [H] A T C H on April 3, 2015 at 9:48 am

    such a sweet season of life <3

  22. sabrina on April 3, 2015 at 11:01 am

    Great post!! Wishing you the best!!

  23. Tracy on April 3, 2015 at 11:03 am

    Such a sweet and thought provoking post and so so true. Savoring is so important at every age! As a mom of teens I’m trying to savor this stage as well…hormones and all!! Haha!

    But seriously, thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings 🙂

  24. Cait on April 3, 2015 at 11:42 am

    Really surprised you’re getting so much flack for these posts. I’m loving them, so personal and real. Keep it up and can’t wait to hear the news!

  25. Jessica on April 3, 2015 at 12:43 pm

    Regardless of how others feel, this is your blog and you are entitled to post in whatever manner you choose. I personally think it has been very fun to read and I’m thrilled for you no matter where you are in your journey. My husband and I are a few months away from starting to try and I have absolutely loved reading these 🙂

  26. Sheena on April 3, 2015 at 12:45 pm

    I just wanted to add my voice to the chorus of people who LOVE these posts! I feel like I’m “in” on your secret 🙂 And I’m thrilled for you! Some people find it hard to tolerate a little bit of (temporary) confusion. But it is absurd, with or without having a sense of your character, to suggest these posts are click bait. I understand how that suggestion would be hurtful, but it doesn’t even make sense. You do you, Gina. Wishing you all health.

  27. Kristina E on April 3, 2015 at 12:58 pm

    Can’t wait until next week!!!

  28. Traci on April 3, 2015 at 2:13 pm

    I love these posts and can’t wait to read the rest!! One of my favorite parts of your blog are the Livi-isms. If you are pregnant, I can’t wait to hear what she has to say about it! I wish you and your family all the best!

  29. Kay on April 3, 2015 at 3:51 pm

    Sorry, not loving these teaser posts. Genuinely hope all is well with you, but I may not be back for a while (if ever — used to read you regularly, but not so much lately).

  30. Shelby on April 3, 2015 at 5:51 pm

    I usually never post comments but reading through the comments is making me so upset for you! This is your blog and you can post however you want! Of course those that follow your daily posts might be confused right now (I am And that’s why I was even reading the comments) but that doesn’t give them the right to be so rude to you! I obviously don’t know you personally, but through reading your blog, I imagine you’re so sweet and very real! Keep doing what you’re doing and ignore the negativity! I’ll keep reading no matter what

  31. Ashley on April 3, 2015 at 6:58 pm

    Wow, I cannot even believe the immaturity of some people. It’s Gina’s blog. She can write about what she wants, when she wants, and you can choose to read it or not. But to attack something so personal in her life is just ridiculous. Just wait a week, okay? The news could be wonderful or sad, or neither, and to not know what it is and start attacking her motives is just wrong.

  32. Chantelle on April 3, 2015 at 7:33 pm

    I completely agree with all the people loving these backdated posts (!!) — and even if I didn’t, I would recognize that it is your choice to post about anything in whichever manner you choose. I scrolled through some of the negative comments earlier and wasn’t going to comment (as I usually don’t), but couldn’t stop thinking about it all day. Please, PLEASE don’t let the negativity bring you down! This is your blog, and if people don’t like the way you post — they simply don’t have to read it.

    I understand how some people could be confused (and I swear I’m not trying to fuel the fire!) — but, come on — making rude, hurtful comments just because Gina isn’t posting about something in the way you would prefer? Unnecessary. We were all drawn to you and your blog for one reason or another — lets focus on that blog love instead! I love the posts, and read your blog daily. I hope you can embrace the love, and forget the rest. xxoo

  33. NCGreenie on April 4, 2015 at 2:52 pm

    Hi Gina,

    I love your blog! I’ve been a consistent reader since about 2008. You are such a sweet and sensitive person and that shines through in your writing. Have you ever seen Monty Python’s “Life of Brian”? Jesus heals a leper, but then the leper is upset because Jesus took away his occupation. Maybe you just need to watch the clip (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U74s8nFE7No) or search youtube “Life of Brian – Alms for an ex Leper”. Good for a laugh.
    Anyway, the moral of the story is there’s just no pleasing some people 🙂 Remember when you posted about eating chicken on April Fool’s day that one year? People freak out about nothing and everything. It has nothing to do with you. 99.9 percent of us love what you write- that’s why we keep reading. Like another commenter said, Keep on doing you!! 🙂

  34. Cassie on April 4, 2015 at 3:37 pm

    Good luck!

  35. Kate on April 4, 2015 at 4:11 pm

    Everyone is vulnerable in different ways in life, and I think it’s safe to say that you posting personal and intimate posts like these make you vulnerable. That being said, you’re sharing a beautiful time of your life and expressing thoughts that everyone woman has if they’re lucky enough to experience pregnancy. Your readers are entitled to provide you feedback, but don’t let that doubt your decision to share these and take it with a grain of salt. They are beautiful and I love reading them. Do ya thang

  36. Erin Motz on April 4, 2015 at 7:09 pm

    Girrrrl, I just feel like you’re leading up to something and it’s exciting to read these!!! So NOT click
    bait-y or confusing to me. I’m excited 😀 and if it’s not what we think it is, then who cares. Still fun to follow the journey.

    xo

    • Reghan on April 7, 2015 at 10:45 am

      100% agree! not confusing at all and I like the little foreshadowing action 😀

  37. Jennifer on April 5, 2015 at 2:58 pm

    I first read this post when it came out, and clicked back today to read some of the comments. I was shocked at what I saw. I personally am fascinated by the approach to let the readers have an insight into your journey as it was happening. It is sickening to me when I see hurtful comments on blogs where people think they are entitled to being brutal because they are some anonymous person you don’t really know. You have done nothing to entice people to read for page clicks. Look forward to hearing how the journey continues since you are an amazing writer.

  38. Danielle on April 6, 2015 at 2:48 pm

    If people don’t like your posting style, they don’t have to read it! Personally, I think it’s exciting! Fingers crossed for you and your family.

  39. Stephanie @ Macaroni and Cheesecake on April 6, 2015 at 4:33 pm

    Love reading this journey to having your 2nd as we are contemplating that as well. Love these little teases and I keep checking back for the big news! Thanks for your openness and willingness to share this with us! Wish you all the best on this journey!

  40. Jacqui on April 7, 2015 at 7:40 am

    So confused about the negative comments. These are posted on the family page and they don’t need to read them if they don’t want to.
    Been reading your blog for awhile and I love all aspects of it. Thank you for sharing, hoping for good news!

  41. Paula on April 7, 2015 at 9:05 am

    I loved this post, it makes me feel like I’m “in” on a secret, but I can’t be really sure if it is what I think it is 😉

    Like so many others I wanted to let you know I have been reading your blog for years and love it, keep it up, keep it real, keep it as you like it: it’s your blog after all and you are letting us in on your life!

    You can’t help it if someone doesn’t like what you write, it happens to all writers I imagine, so please don’t let some comments bother you and keep doing what you feel is right, there are so many of us who love it just like that 😀

    • Paula on April 8, 2015 at 8:15 am

      Yey, the secret’s out! 😉 So happy for you, congrats!

  42. Danielle on April 7, 2015 at 7:42 pm

    Gina,

    You are such an inspiration to so many people in so many ways. I look forward to reading your thoughts everyday and I’m LOVING the suspense of these posts! Keep doing what you’re doing!!

    <3

  43. Christy L. on April 9, 2015 at 7:22 pm

    Just wanted to jump in and add support to the others that say they love what you are doing. This is one of my favorite blogs– I love how you are real and I love reading about your family. I know with my job, no matter what we do, SOMEONE is gonna hate it. Haters gonna hate. Kinda surprised that people would be so snarky about something as special as this. Don’t like how Gina posts about something special going on in her life? No one is forcing you to read it.

  44. s on April 10, 2015 at 9:50 am

    i’m catching up on old posts but ahhh congrats! and the simba thing cracked me up… 🙂

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