Things I can laugh about now

(Head’s up: some of these are a little gross, but the Family page is also the TMI page)

-The fact that Tom and I used to celebrate when we would get Livi to fall asleep before the Jewel lullaby CD was over. (Sometimes we had to play it two or three times before she would wind down and crash out.) I’ll never forget the victory dance Tom was doing in the nursery the first time I put Liv to sleep before song 7. Now, I start the Jewel CD, give her the nighttime bottle, clean her teeth/gums, hug and kiss her goodnight, put her in bed and walk out. So much easier!!

-When there was tinkle on my jeans and it wasn’t Liv’s. She was only a few weeks old and we were driving back from a midwife appointment, and I got out of the car, and um.. yeah. Thank goodness it didn’t happen in the car and I could quickly put my outfit in the washer. The conversation with Tom was a great one- I can’t remember what he said, but he made me laugh and not feel so embarrassed. Now, I can laugh about it (at the time, I was mortified and convinced my bladder was ruined forever). 

-When I was in labor, I walked around the hospital with Tom and my doula to move things along. We walked through the lobby, where my entire family was waiting. I was so happy to see them, but then had to get on the floor for an intense contraction. My mom got in nice and close for a picture during the contraction, and when it was over, I told her “if you take another picture I will break your camera.” Animal mode! Hahaha.

-Pumping makes things look a little scary for a while. They go back to normal, I promise.

-Many toys that were originally Liv’s became Bella’s. Like the rattle she stole and has teeth marks all over it.

-My epic delay in buying maternity pants. I just didn’t want to spend money on pants I’d only wear for a few months, but once I finally bit the bullet, I was like, “why didn’t I do this sooner?!” They were like a hug from an angel.  If I’m fortunate enough to be pregnant a second time, I’m busting those bad boys out on positive test day. 

-Fenugreek. I took soooo many blessed thistle and fenugreek pills for months to promote milk supply. Fenugreek gives you a maple syrup aroma which, in theory, is not a bad thing. Not as fun: the awesome maple syrup-scented night sweats for the first few nights. I don’t think of maple flavoring the same way, and notice that I don’t eat pancakes nearly as much as I used to.

-The fact that I thought my belly wasn’t that big. It was HUGE. Looking back at pictures, I can’t believe the torpedo that I thought was NBD, and now I understand the looks on guests’ faces when I was teaching Zumba.

-So many things that happened, but not exactly specific moments.. more like little periods of time. (Or maybe because a lot of it was a delirious blur?) I think back on certain pieces and feel so nostalgic (and bittersweet because seeing your child grow is sad and thrilling at the same time), and other times, I’ll laugh, or think “thank God that’s over.” My friend Susan is in a play right now and it’s about different types of moms: new moms, older moms, step moms, two gay dads as moms– and while practicing her lines on the elliptical, she said to me, “in the beginning of the play, I’m you about 6 months ago” and goes into her monologue, but I don’t realize she’s acting until about halfway through.

Of course I don’t remember the lines verbatim, but to paraphrase some little snippets that have stuck out in my mind:

“So I’m crawling on the floor in the baby’s nursery, trying to decide if I should just stay here or go back to bed to just come back an hour later.”

“My baby is a sleep terrorist.”

“My husband thinks I’m such a good wife for taking the night shift, but the reality is that he has a cold and I’ll f*king kill him if he gets my baby sick and gets me sick. And then I’m sick taking care of a sick baby.”

“It’s funny because I thought I’d be totally fine with this all-night thing. I love the night. I’d go to dance clubs until 2am and then wander into some diner and get French fries. This is totally different.”


“Wherever I am, from now until forever, I’m tied to my baby. He belongs to me. I’ll always wonder ‘Where is he? Is he ok?’ from now on…”

I can’t wait to see it.

What’s something that happened or bothered you at the time, that you can laugh about now? Any hilarious parenting/preg moments to share?

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  1. H.Lapidus on August 19, 2012 at 3:21 pm

    I used to take other people’s advice too seriously. Then one day at a park, an old lady came to me and said, “Your baby looks cold – you should put a hat on him!” I did, and felt like a rotten mom for not noticing it sooner. About 5 minutes later, a different old lady came to me and said, “Your baby is going to over heat in that hat! Take it off of him!” It was as if the second lady was an angel in disguise, teaching me the lesson of trusting myself and tuning out the noise of everyone’s opinions.

  2. Jennifer on August 19, 2012 at 3:30 pm

    This cracked me up! Thanks for sharing! I can totally relate! πŸ™‚ The bladder problem was an issue for me too. My bladder is not as strong as it was before Kendall. When my husband and I went for a 3D/4D ultrasound of our daughter- she was asleep. I was already 8 months along so we really couldn’t come back. We tried everything to wake her up. Finally my hubs who is 6 ft and about 230 lbs. told me to go out into the hallway. We walked outside he grabbed me by the legs and flipped me upside down. She was awake after that! The nurse was so mad at him. It’s really funny now, but not so much in the moment. He really wanted to see her…

  3. Ashley H. on August 19, 2012 at 3:37 pm

    I defInitely “tinkled” a few times when pregnant BUT no on warned me that birth destroys your bladder and I would have no control for awhile. Those tinkles turned into full on I’m peeing my pants. I did the crossed legged dance a few times after giving birth πŸ˜‰

    Our little girl is 3 months now. I love this age. We are past the newborn stage but not quite a “big girl” yet. They grow too fast!!

  4. Joanne @ threeunderthree on August 19, 2012 at 3:42 pm

    Those are some funny stories πŸ™‚

    I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve ended up with all three babies in my bed and my husband had escaped to the sofa! It doesn’t happen now that we’ve moved up to the attic bedroom. Neither of my eldest children slept through the night until they were past 2! My youngest had slept through from 6 months but we did nothing different with him. I can’t tell you how good it feels to finally get a full night’s sleep after three years of broken nights! At the time it wasn’t funny but I can laugh about it now πŸ™‚

  5. Amy on August 19, 2012 at 3:55 pm

    I second the maternity pants and how huge my belly was! I realized why people looked at me nervously in spin class- right up until 2 weeks before delivering… the poor instructor!

    I have a distinct memory of teaching and seeing a young girl (teenager) off in space, staring at my stomach. I observed her for a minute while she was just zoning out. I couldn’t help thinking about her thoughts: “Whoa, is that for real?” “I can’t believe there’s a human in there.” “I definitely have to wait awhile for THAT!” πŸ™‚

  6. Joanne @ threeunderthree on August 19, 2012 at 3:56 pm

    Also, as I had my babies so close together I can absolutely relate to bladder issues lol. I remember having terrible morning sickness with my second when I’d only given birth 6 months before! There were some quite frequent ‘leaks’ lol

  7. Miranda @ Biting Life on August 19, 2012 at 3:57 pm

    I read some of these out loud to my boyfriend… He was curious: Did your sweat TASTE like maple syrup, too? Or just smell like it?

    Haha, the things boys come up with.

  8. Averie @ Averie Cooks on August 19, 2012 at 4:11 pm

    Night sweats/early post-partum sweats and fenugreek and maple. Omg YES! Funny, I do not enjoy maple like I used to anymore either. At all. Something about all the feungreek coming out of my pores will sort of do a lifetime number on maple for me I think πŸ™‚

  9. Emily @ Perfection Isn't Happy on August 19, 2012 at 4:42 pm

    Reading all of this stuff makes me realize that I’d like to wait to have kids. I definitely want to start a family one day, but it sounds like it’s so overwhelming at first!

  10. Lisa on August 19, 2012 at 4:52 pm

    I am 8 weeks along, I’m now super terrified about peeing myself later πŸ™ lol

    • Fitnessista on August 19, 2012 at 5:01 pm

      kegels. i understand why they’re so important now haha

      • Lisa on August 19, 2012 at 6:07 pm

        I shall do them non-stop for the next 32 weeks!

        • Jaime on August 19, 2012 at 6:18 pm

          don’t do, like, 100 a day though! i heard a horror story from my midwife about a lady with muscle-of-steel going on…

  11. @pluvk on August 19, 2012 at 5:32 pm

    I just love your mommy posts. Since my hubs and I are getting very serious about having children soon, it’s great to have an idea of what to expect! I’ll never forget my own workout instructor who taught intense cardio-sculpt classes up to the VERY DAY she gave birth! I didn’t think she was crazy… She became my hero!

  12. Laura on August 19, 2012 at 5:32 pm

    While my baby still isn’t out yet, 4 days over due and counting, I can already laugh at a few of these. I totally understand the maternity pants thing. I’m cheap and I was in great shape before I got pregnant so I just figured I would be able to find a way to squeeze into a couple things to get by. HA HA HA. Luckily my mom knew better and took me shopping for the maternity pants that I have lived in this whole pregnancy. And just yesterday I told my husband that I still didn’t think I am all that huge. Then we went to the mall to try and walk this baby out and seeing my reflection in the store windows some how made me look so much bigger then my mirror at home. So maybe I’m a little bigger then I thought. Oh well πŸ™‚

  13. Sarah B. on August 19, 2012 at 5:33 pm

    Haha, kegels are definitely your friend! It’s amazing how much you pee those first weeks after birth.

    Question about putting Liv to bed…I don’t think I’ve seen a post about any sleep training for her? Was it easy as time went on for her to put herself to sleep? My son is 8 weeks and I remember those first couple of weeks when it took forever to get him to sleep; now it’s shorter but still lots of rocking, shushing, swaddling, etc. Can’t wait for the day when I van just put him in his crib and kiss him good night and that be that!

    • Fitnessista on August 19, 2012 at 5:52 pm

      we followed the healthy sleep habits and baby whisperer methods, and never had to really train her or make her cry it out. at first, i’d rock or bounce her until she fell asleep, then i switched to putting her down groggy and patting her back until she fell asleep, then putting her down groggy with no patting, then putting her down awake. it took a couple of months for her to get it, but it worked really well for us.
      it will definitely get easier over time!

      • Sarah B. on August 20, 2012 at 12:28 am

        That’s what/how I was planning on going about it. Hopefully my son figures it out like Liv did πŸ™‚

        • Shaina Anderson on August 20, 2012 at 4:20 am

          Same here. We started putting our son down when he was almost asleep, and then really drowsy but still awake, and now we can just put him down, turn on the mobile and say goodnight. He definitely has his days where he wants to snuggle his way to sleep, but he’s 3 months next week so I’m not rushing it.

  14. Nicole on August 19, 2012 at 5:34 pm

    “I’m busting those bad boys out on positive test day.”
    I’m pregnant with baby 2 right now and yup those stretchy wonders have come out at 9 weeks. I’m more interested in being comfortable.

  15. Samantha @ My Full Life on August 19, 2012 at 5:57 pm

    I can relate with my now National Geographic nipples. Thanks, Medela.

    • Fitnessista on August 19, 2012 at 6:01 pm

      i almost choked on my water reading this. hilarious

  16. Megan on August 19, 2012 at 5:58 pm

    This post made me smile and nod so many times. Since my daughter is about the same age as Olivia, I went through so many of the same things around the same time. It’s always nice to hear about the stuff other moms freak out about. One thing I can laugh about now: the near mental break down I had in the solid foods aisle at Target. I sat there fretting over the shelves of pouches and packages thinking that if I fed her anything, she’d probably die or have some terrible reaction. Now she chows down with no problem, and meal time is actually fun!

  17. Abby A. on August 19, 2012 at 6:32 pm

    Great post! I love hearing about you being a mom, and although I’m not anywhere near becoming a mother yet- I think I’ll always remember you’re advice and experiance!

  18. theorist on August 19, 2012 at 6:55 pm

    I don’t have babies (yet) but I still wanted to comment b/c this was HILAROUS!!! That play sounds like a winner but my fav was: β€œif you take another picture I will break your camera.” ROFL!!!!!!

  19. Sara on August 19, 2012 at 8:43 pm

    OMG girl. I have peed myself multiple times. It is ridiculous. Sneezing and coughing are now fearful events!

    Most embarrassing, 2 days ago I was driving and got a coughing attack (I’ve been quite sick this week) that lead to me puking. So I am desperately trying to find somewhere to pull over, puking and hacking into a plastic bag and then totally peed myself! Thank God I wasn’t in public! I drove straight home to change! Ha.

  20. Dusty @TooLazyYesterday on August 19, 2012 at 8:49 pm

    Thank goodness I am not the only one. When I was pregnant I thought my belly was NBD. Now I look at pictures and all I can think is “Wow! My belly was huge.”

  21. Amanda on August 19, 2012 at 9:06 pm

    I have always wondered about pumping and how things would look after. Glad they go back to normal later! haaha.

    Never been pregnant, but hope to get there sometime fairly soon. We’ll see!

  22. Julie on August 19, 2012 at 9:06 pm

    uh, any bedtime tips to share? my 17 month old still takes an hour to get to bed most nights and if i try to tuck her in before she is fully asleep, she will stand up and scream…

  23. Mandy M on August 19, 2012 at 11:56 pm

    Ah, I totally peed my pants after my second was born. He was 9 1/2 lbs and came out really fast. I was home a few days after the birth and was standing in the kitchen and all of a sudden I was peeing. What freaked me out the most is that I had absolutely no sensation of having to pee or peeing. All of a sudden I just was. Also convinced that my son had ruined my bladder forever. Luckily, it was not the case.

    • Fitnessista on August 20, 2012 at 12:27 am

      i’m so glad things heal. i was pretty worried for a sec- liv was a big baby too, and i had to push her out extremely fast because the cord was wrapped. i knew i had to go, but had no idea i couldn’t be able to contain it haha

  24. Shaina Anderson on August 20, 2012 at 4:25 am

    The day my milk came in was pretty funny. I went from a 34B to rivaling Dolly Parton overnight. I was a little nervous at the time that I’d be walking around with boulders on my chest for as long as I was breastfeeding, but luckily things calm down! Even my husband was like – um, I’m not really sure what to do with those so I’m just going to stay over here on my side of the bed so they don’t explode haha.

    Also, that day is not the day to remember you can sleep on your stomach again. Ouch.

  25. Abby on August 20, 2012 at 10:02 am

    I’ll never forget going out for my first jog after my daughter was born, needless to say it ended up being more of a sprint to the washing machine… I still have to make sure my bladder is empty before super high impact activities haha, kids are lucky they’re so adorable!

  26. on August 20, 2012 at 3:30 pm

    such a cute post! we have 3 more weeks till our little one is due and i know ill look back over things and laugh. its funny you said you didnt think your belly was that big-i feel like im the same way right now (at 37 weeks) but my mom is like, no…you’re huge! haha

  27. Rebecca Meier on August 21, 2012 at 1:06 pm

    I hear you on the Fenugreek and maple syrup aroma. I took so many to promote supply that whenever I’d burp, it’d smell of maple syrup…blech! And Sam’s National Geographic comment, HYSTERICAL! (Know the feeling) πŸ˜‰

  28. Maria on August 22, 2012 at 12:11 pm

    When my water broke, my mom and sister beat us to the hospital. As I’m walking through the door, towel bunched up between my legs, water pouring out of me uncontrollably, my mom picks up her phone to take a picture. My response was “are you f*ing kidding me right now?” she laughed about it and I apologized after the baby was born.

  29. susan on August 23, 2012 at 1:38 pm

    I had to laugh, too, at the “tinkle”. Long before I was pregnant, I actually once peed in my mom’s car (I thought I’d make it), and the only ones who know about this is still just me and my husband. Sometimes he tries to blackmail me with it. πŸ™‚
    I think after that I trained my bladder to be extra strong, because when we went for an ultrasound, when we were expecting our son, the technician told me to go pee asap, because I’m squishing the baby! Ooops!! And then I didn’t even feel the need to pee, even though I was pregnant!
    Luckily no pee problems before or after our son was born.

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