Mom confessions
(A pack of adhesive mustaches = hours of fun)
Hi friends! Happy almost-Friday! I’m so happy you guys enjoyed yesterday’s podcast episode. Please check it out here if ya missed it! A while ago, I posted some mom confessions (and some hacks) and loved reading all of your comments. For today I have some more confessions to share (my hack game is weak lately but confessions run aplenty).
– The Descendants 2 and Zombies soundtracks are LIT. (Do people still say that?) I think my kitchen dance moves are too, until Liv covers her face and says, “Please stop dancing like that, mom.”
– I pack crudités as part of the girls’ lunches even though I know they never eat them. I just want their teachers to know I do try to get them to eat vegetables.
– When I wake up too late to cook a legit breakfast, I heat up Whole Foods breakfast burritos from the freezer and they think it’s the coolest thing ever. P says, “Mama you make the best burritos!” and I’m just thankful Chef Mike did the cooking.
– They’re also convinced that I actually make the Annie’s mac n’ cheese from a box and the compliments ROLL IN. I feel like a chef by boiling pasta noodles and adding butter and cheese powder. On the other hand, when I make beautiful maple salmon with roasted veggies and rice, they act like I served them a dead bug.
– Sometimes when I have a mouthful of chocolate I tell them it’s cauliflower because dinner’s almost ready.
– The girls insist that I lie with them in bed until they fall asleep, and I was falling asleep so often that something had to change. (I usually work after they’re crashed and it was so.hard. trying to accomplish anything as a half-asleep Zombie.) I put in headphones and listen to a podast or audiobook while I lie there, and after 20 minutes or so, I sit at the edge of the bed and watch Netflix on my phone. #winning
– I told my mom the girls were acting like wild monkeys every time we went to Whole Foods – they literally think it’s an obstacle course – and she told me to make sure to tell them about the new rule. The rule at Whole Foods is that kids have to stay close to the cart. If they’re wandering around and the manager sees, you get kicked out, because you know, Whole Foods is fancy and they don’t want kids being wild and running around. Um, it worked like a CHARM.
– I wonder how long it will take the girls to realize that we go to the car wash when I’m feeling frustrated. Usually, I love hanging out with them and they get along extremely well. On the occasions that they’re bickering a lot or not listening, or I’ve just hit my wall, I say, “Get in the car! Let’s go to the car wash!” and they’re like, “YAY!” and I’m like, “Thank you god for this 5 minutes of silence and clarity to just get my life back together.” The orange lava pours onto the car as we roll through, they cheer, and when we emerge from the car wash, I feel like I can tackle the rest of the day. Needless to say, the monthly car wash membership pays for itself in sanity.
Please share a confession with meeeee.
xo
Gina
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Love these….I usually pull the “Santa is always watching, remember?” Or “I saw Santa’s helper elf in the neighborhood last night…he wanted to make sure you guys were eating your vegetables and going to bed like you should.”
I use the line, ‘remember Santa won’t come if you lie’ ALLL THE TIME.
umm totally do the same thing with veggies in my daughter’s lunch. HA.
Oh my gosh, this post was GOLD. I don’t have kids, but I still love reading your mom posts.
Sounds to me like you’re doing fine 🙂 Keep up the good work!
thanks, friend <3
I laughed at all of these! And, I don’t have kids, but when I’m super stressed and need a minute I also use the car wash! Sitting in the car wash is a legit easy way to hit the pause button on life and let a few moments of zen wash over me. The clean car, well, that’s a happy bonus!
yes, that’s so true. i’ve loved the car wash for a long time but definitely even more now 🙂
Bahahah! I am a long time blog reader, love reading everything you write! You are amazing and hilarious. I love the carwash sanity idea. Have a great day!
thank you so much for reading for so long! <3
I do the exact same thing with kid lunches!!
so glad i’m not alone!
I LOVE reading these posts and the comments are just as good! When I am having a moms night out, I tell the girls that I am going to a doctor’s appointment because I know they won’t want to go with me and then they won’t give me a hard time about leaving the house.
yes, the comments section is pure gold.
so smart about the doctor’s office. i’ve totally done that and said i have to go to work, when it’s 7pm and i’m in a dress and booties haha
These are my ultimate fav posts! I have a 4 and 2 year old and anytime we can post humorously about less than humorous situations, it’s a win!!
Baby shark or the gummy bear song are our “reset button” tunes—if they’re at each other’s throats that song “magically” comes on and is enough distraction to reset!
you have to watch this one! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8yZSM4_-sgA
Okay, I’m TOTALLY going to use that Whole Foods rule once Alice starts walking!
it’s a great rule!
I love all these so much! Especially the cauliflower/chocolate one haha. My son is allergic to peanut butter so anytime I didn’t want him to have something I told him it has PB in it. My older kids are 11 and 12 and are always on their phone, recently their Uncle told them they would go cross-eyed if they stared at their phone all day and they now self-regulate and take breaks. Whatever works…
omg that’s genius.
My step-daughter isn’t allowed to wake us up in the morning until the first number on the clock is an 8 (9 on Saturdays), so sometimes we turn her clock back while she’s sleeping so we can get extra sleep in the morning…#sorrynotsorry
LOL this is amazing
I confess that I’m totally impressed and don’t even try to pretend like I could manage running a business, having kiddos, etc. Thanks for keeping it real, always <3
<3 <3
Sometimes when the kids are doing something they know they shouldn’t be – like jumping on the couch – I pretend not to see it because I just don’t have the energy to argue about it and they think they are getting away with something.
I tell my son I will come check on him in 10 minutes when he goes to bed knowing he’ll be asleep by then and I forget to check on him.
Told my kids they are too big for the car-like carts at the grocery store because I refuse to push on of those around.
i totally do that, too. sometimes it’s not worth the energy
and BRILLIANT on those giant carts. every time we end up getting one, i hate everything. they’re so hard to push!
My boxed Mac ‘n Cheese used to get rave reviews, too! “The BEST macaroni” 🙂
they literally clear their bowls and i feel like a real chef
Oh my gosh I love these, especially the car wash one. Brilliant – I would consider that a hack. I don’t have any mom confessions yet but these give me something to aspire to I have to admit these posts are some of my faves!
my car has never been so clean 😉
thank you for reading! <3
These are so great. So funny and true!
real life 🙂
I let my two year old eat the cat food because I got tired of chasing him around and scooping it out of his mouth. We live in a small city condo so there’s literally nowhere to put it other than out in the open so I just tell him I’m going to tell all of his future girlfriends how much cat food he ate ??? We buy the grain free stuff so I tell myself it’s just like… meat nuggets, haha.
this made me laugh so hard
P keeps asking to eat dog food and i’m like NO
Sometimes a mom has to do what a mom has to do :). No harm, no foul.
amen!
I have a sneaky suspicion that whole foods will still have that “rule” when my kid is a toddler.
thank your madre…that’s just brilliant.
it’s a great rule!!
Love these! I was very rules-oriented as a child and all my mom ever had to do was tell me something was against the rules and I wouldn’t even question it. My little one is only 3 months, but I’m mentally bookmarking the car wash idea for later 🙂
Love these!!!!
I sometimes tell my husband I have to get to work earlier than I technically do to have the excuse to get out of the house earlier — I pick up a cappuccino on the way and avoid the morning craziness. Not exactly proud of this one but there is always more work to be done…
We’ve recently been working on the idea of privacy. Like, no you can’t walk into the bathroom to tell me your hair hurts when I’m trying to have some ‘private’ time. Now I find myself needing a break and just going into my bedroom and saying Mommy needs privacy!! Oh and I hear you on the cooking. I spend a bunch of time making a fabulous balanced meal that I’m legit excited about (rare), my 3 year old looks at it and goes, ‘I don’t like that, it’s yucky.’ So deflating! Hot dogs though, they could live off of hot dogs and chocolate chip pancakes. Oh well, they seem fine haha!