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two and through

This post was inspired by my friend Emily’s post, Thoughts on Three. They’ve been debating about adding another kiddo to their family. While I would love to have allthebabies, we’re two and through over here. 😉

It’s funny because as soon as you have a baby, particularly when both of your kids are the same sex, it seems like people instantly want to know if you’ll have a third.

“Are you going to try for a boy?”

004 baby girl p sneak peek photography by jacquelynn buck

(photo by the amazing Jacquelynn Buck)

It’s everything in my power to keep from laughing. Nope. We’re good over here (even though I know that a baby Pilot running around would be too cute to handle). Also, I’m pretty sure Tom is meant to be surrounded by girls.

For quite a while, Tom and I have been pretty set on two kids. We talked about future plans, moving, and traveling, and felt like for us, two would be a good number. We both have siblings -the Pilot has a sister, and I have four brothers- who are our best friends, and we really wanted to share that experience with Liv. We also thought it would be nice to do man defense in chaos scenarios, and we wouldn’t be outnumbered.

When we go out to eat, one of us has Liv:

FullSizeRender 20

and the other has miss P.

Lunch w p

The financial considerations of raising kids is something we discussed, too. With two, we’d be able to afford the necessities and good schools, while continuing to save and enjoying the additional things we like to do, like travel and fun extras. 

When Penelope was born, it confirmed our desires. We all fell instantly in love with her, and we’ve spent the last couple of months welcoming and adjusting to our new dynamic. Our family feels complete with her, and we feel like we’re done. Even though I’ll definitely miss baby smells, snuggles, and big gummy smiles, I’m excited to fully enjoy P’s baby stage. I feel like there’s always something to look forward to: giggles, pigtails, “Mama,” and clumsy first steps, until she’s in a tiny tutu and sharing secrets with her own little friends. I feel like it’s pure joy to watch all of these beautiful moments and memories unfold. Our next chapter will be as the kids grow up together, and I’m not gonna lie, when I think about the fact that I won’t have to get up a thousand times a night, it makes me dance with joy. (Liv still wakes us up at night, but it’s different when they can tell you what’s wrong, or you can easily scoot over to make room in the bed.) I’m excited for what the future has in store, especially as we’re able to travel and continue creating our life as a family together.

As you guys know, I’ve a huge fan of the Fertility Awareness Method. I’ve used it for years to track my cycles, and I pretty much know my cycle like clockwork. I use the handy iPeriod app on my phone, and it makes it pretty easy to track everything. I got a kick out of seeing that my cycle was late by 346 days. Now that it returned after a glorious year without it, it’s time to get back into charting and figuring out my life. Also, I’ve been thinking about more longer-term birth control methods. We’re in a situation where if we were to become pregnant again, it would be totally fine. But, if we can keep it at two kiddos, that would be great, too. 😉 

What’s going through my brain:

Fertility Awareness Method WORKS, but there’s definitely a bit of an error margin. This is especially true when your cycle returns and is unpredictable at first. While I used FAM when we were both trying to get pregnant, and trying to prevent pregnancy, we knew that it was a possibility either way, and were ok with that. Now, we’d like a backup method, especially around the middle of the month.

IUD: I’ve heard some instances of IUDs becoming lost up in there and requiring surgical removal. While the instances of these are super rare, the fact that I’ve had this happen to a friend still gives me the creeps. I also have friends who have and love their IUDs, but I just feel like it’s not the fit for me. 

Birth control pills: I really liked these while I was on them, but it wasn’t until I was OFF that pill that I realized how great I felt without it. Ideally I’d like to avoid synthetic hormones, but if we decide to roll with this, it would be NBD. I took them for 10+ years before, and I know they’re a great option for a lot of people. [Also, this is TMI but I had my first cycle after P, and it was TERRIBLE. Easily the worst it’s ever been, in my life. If I need to take the pill to calm things down a little bit, I’m going for it. I’ll have to see what the doc says this week. I am also starting some herbs from Dr. Flynn, hoping that it will get everything back in order again.]

Condoms: work pretty dang well if you use them correctly. This might be the best bet for the long-term?

We also talked about vasectomy, and that was our initial plan until I read this.

Like my friend Betsy said, I really need to stop with the Google university.

I’d love to hear your experiences about planning for your family, and also what you use for birth control. It’s such a personal decision, and I know different things work for different people, but I always love to hear your thoughts.

xoxo

Gina

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137 Comments

  1. Kristy B. on January 21, 2016 at 6:49 am

    Well, if what you’re pulling from Google University is peer-reviewed studies (which that is), I think you’re doing ok! This may be totally anecdotal, but I know a few of my more fertile friends who became pregnant after a vasectomy without using backup. I wonder if it’s as effective as they once thought.

    • Fitnessista on January 21, 2016 at 10:31 am

      pubmed and i are BFFs.
      yes, i’ve heard of those stories too!

      • Michelle on January 21, 2016 at 11:19 am

        The article you cited was published in 1981 and the journal that it was published in is now defunct and makes no claims for being peer reviewed. Definitely worth being careful as pubmed does not require journals to be peer-reviewed to index on their site. There have been no epidemiological studies that have indicated immuno-compromising effects from vasectomies. Hope you guys find the right option for your family!

        • Fitnessista on January 21, 2016 at 11:47 am

          BOOM. Thank you!

  2. Katherine on January 21, 2016 at 6:49 am

    We have two little girls and want a third. I RAGE inside when people ask if we are trying for a boy. I’m sure it’s innocent but it makes me feel like my girls aren’t enough or somehow my husband is missing out. I’d love a boy but we are so in love with our girls that we would be thrilled with a third.

    • Courtney @ Sweet Tooth, Sweet Life on January 21, 2016 at 9:43 am

      I feel the EXACT same way, Katherine! We just found out we’re having a second boy, and when I tell others, at least half of them say, “will you try for a girl the third time around?!” It’s like, what, my two boys aren’t exciting enough? Sure, I’d love a girl, but I just don’t know if three kids is in the cards for us either…plus, that’s a huge gamble to only try for a third because you want one gender over the other! 🙂

      • Fitnessista on January 21, 2016 at 10:14 am

        aaaand a baby is a baby. they’re all sweet and wonderful. and scream a lot, and need a lot of things hahah

      • Katherine on January 21, 2016 at 11:05 am

        Yes! Exactly.

    • Fitnessista on January 21, 2016 at 10:30 am

      exactly!!!

  3. Lisa D. on January 21, 2016 at 6:58 am

    I had my tubes tied after my third boy 11 years ago (no, we weren’t trying for a girl, thankyouverymuch lol). It’s worked like a charm, but I regretted it the second it was done. Just. So. Permanent. I’m about to turn 40 and am going through a crazy “omg, my kids are almost grown and I want a baby” thing right now. It doesn’t help that 3 of my co-workers have recently had kids at 42, 43, and 44.

    • Fitnessista on January 21, 2016 at 10:30 am

      that’s another thing that worries me about the vasectomy. it can be reversed, but not always easily or successfully

  4. Sara P on January 21, 2016 at 6:59 am

    I have found Larabriden.com and her book are great resources for female health. I wish I had her book 20 years ago! After my 2nd child, birth control just caused a lot of problems for me. So I tried an IUD and it slowly made my periods heavier, and everything that goes with that, worse and worse. So my husband (who is a pilot too :), got a vasectomy. I haven’t checked out your vasectomy link but my husband is fine. 😉

    • Fitnessista on January 21, 2016 at 10:28 am

      a lot of our pilot friends have gotten them, too, and it’s been NBD.

  5. Elizabeth on January 21, 2016 at 7:02 am

    I have my Masters in Public Health and concentrated on Maternal and Child health, so I actually know a lot about this haha. I think for a lot of women in committed relationships, an IUD can be the best bet long term-bet. The technology has advanced greatly since they first came on the market and there are a couple out there that can last more than 5 years. The problem is that they hurt like a mother to put in for people that haven’t had kids. This is another reason why they could be ideal for someone who is ready to stop having kids.

    I hate the idea of a married woman with kids using birth control or condoms! You need quality of life! As a single 20-something I can’t imagine still having to take the pill once I tie the knot and have kids! haha.

    There is another longer term birth control method called Implanon which is a little bar that is inserted into your arm that excretes hormones. I don’t think it hurts as much to get it in.

    Definitely talk to your doctor about your options. 🙂

    • ellen on January 21, 2016 at 7:09 am

      I think i have the next genereation of this one! Sorry i didn t read the comment before i posted mine. But this is what i was talking about too 🙂

    • ellen on January 21, 2016 at 7:11 am

      My only issue with the IUD is that since i was very probe to yeast infections my doc didnt think that it was a good fit for me but otherwise i know a lot of girls that are very happy with it

    • Fitnessista on January 21, 2016 at 10:28 am

      yeah, thinking about condoms for life is blah.
      i will ask about implanon when i go in tomorrow. thank you!

  6. ellen on January 21, 2016 at 7:08 am

    Hi Gina, I ‘ve been on the implant (nexplanon) for amlost 8 months now and it has been wonderful for me. I read a lot before I got it and there people that It worked great for and people that didn’t. I am on the first category luckily. You can get one for 3 yrs or 5 yrs. Yes, it does hurt a little when they put it on your arm and a little when they take it out/replace it but apart from that I don’t even remember I have it. My periods are more regular now and I have way less cramps and it never got in the way of my exercising routine and I am a very active person as well like you. I don’t have any kiddos yet and don’t plan on it till the end of my PhD – another 3 yrs – and then the implant comes off and we get to have a family. I think that might be a solution for you to consider because you are definitely gonna be safe for 3 yrs but also still get the chance to change your mind if you decide that you do want the little Pilot running around after all. I hope I helped a little. Have an awesome day!

    • Fitnessista on January 21, 2016 at 10:27 am

      that is great to know. i didn’t even know that was a thing! i’ll look into it

  7. K on January 21, 2016 at 7:08 am

    I LOVE my IUD. I love that the hormones are localized, that I never have to think about it, and that it’s easily removed (when) I’m ready to try for kids. It was painful to insert, but I am told that after childbirth it’s not that bad… lol

  8. Alexis caldwell on January 21, 2016 at 7:12 am

    I was using the family awareness method for years. It worked great until it didnt. I got pregnant unexpectedly with my second. We were totally fine with it. We wanted another one at some point. And I learned that God’s timing is far better than my own. After baby boy was born, I got mirena inserted and let me tell you…. worst bc ever! My body was in so much pain in the less than 24 hours it was in my body. A few hours after having it inserted I started cramping. I knew this was normal so I didn’t worry much. But when I started having cramping in my thighs (I had labor pains in my thighs with both babies) I knew something was wrong. I went to the doc first thing to have it removed. The doc said it was in my cervix instead of in my uterus and my body had been trying to deliver it like a baby!!!!!! I will never have anything like that done again. So for now I am on the mini pill as I am still nursing. Hoping hubs will get a vasectomy so I can stop taking the pill. I feel so much better when off of it. But like you… we are 2 and through. 🙂

    • Fitnessista on January 21, 2016 at 10:26 am

      oh my goooooood. yep, officially not getting one. haha

  9. Laura on January 21, 2016 at 7:16 am

    I was SURE I was done after baby number 3. We had had three babies in 33 months and had my tubes tied with my 3rd c-section. I regret it every.single.day. I pray monthly that I’ll be one of the people that has a tubal failure! Alas, my “baby” is now 9 and I still cry when people around me get preggers. So, never say never ;))

    • Fitnessista on January 21, 2016 at 10:26 am

      i could see myself nearing my 40s and wanting another one

  10. Gianna @ Run, Lift, Repeat on January 21, 2016 at 7:16 am

    I’m in my 30’s and I lasted one time on the pill for all of about 3 months. Hated it. Made my lovely 2-3 day period long plus I spotted the entire time. Eventually threw in the towel. Other than that it has been condoms. I really want an IUD (been in a long term committed relationship) but my doctor gives a LOT of push back as I am childless (even though I do not want children) that is more of an, I need to switch doctors thing, than anything else. I’ve always thought numbers and safety wise that IUD is the way to go.

  11. Janice on January 21, 2016 at 7:18 am

    We’re childless by choice and I bless my husband daily for having a vasectomy. He had it done almost 20 years ago (yikes, where do the years go?) and hasn’t had a problem! Birth control pills can be contra-indicated as you move into your 30’s, condoms seemed like a pain, and other options made me a bit squeamish.

    • Fitnessista on January 21, 2016 at 10:25 am

      that’s all very true. it sounded like the best option for us too, but as always, i start doubting everything

  12. KatyBugChild on January 21, 2016 at 7:18 am

    We’re team two and through as well, and it CRACKS ME UP when people ask if my husband wishes we had a girl. Um, nope. He’s head over heels with his girls thank you very much. And two already feels like a zoo.

    I had the Mirena after Audrey and loved it, and I just got it again after Remy. After the five years are up, I’ll be 40 (almost 41) we will probably pick something more permanent. I was BIG into fertility awareness tracking when I was trying to get pregnant but it’s just so much work when trying to prevent, so the IUD works perfectly!

    • Fitnessista on January 21, 2016 at 10:24 am

      two TOTALLY feels like a zoo. like i can’t imagine three.
      does the iud bother you at all? or do you not notice it?

      • KatyBugChild on January 21, 2016 at 10:26 am

        I don’t notice it. My midwife leaves the strings fairly long but you can have them cut back really easily. And the first time around, I didn’t get my period on it which was AWESOME.

        • Fitnessista on January 21, 2016 at 10:33 am

          glorious. i’m seriously afraid to have another cycle. it was like i was dying

  13. Dyanna on January 21, 2016 at 7:18 am

    I have the Implanon ( nexplanon I think it’s called now). It’s a very low dose hormone. I had to change methods due to some medical conditions and I love it. you never have to think about it and the risks associated were lower the IUD and less terrifying( an IUD being stuck gives me the shivers to think about) plus getting it inserted was painless. I recommend it it’s good for 3 years and can be removed at any time if you change your mind.

    I researched it a lot and have had it for 2 1/2 years and am so glad I made that choice.

    • Fitnessista on January 21, 2016 at 10:24 am

      happy to hear you found an awesome one that works for you! it goes in your arm, right? i might look into that

      • Dyanna on January 21, 2016 at 12:57 pm

        Yeah it goes in your arm, they basically numb the spot and put it in. It took under 10 minutes. My friend and sister both got them recently and have had good results too. I love not being tied to the pill or worrying about condoms etc.

        • Fitnessista on January 21, 2016 at 1:45 pm

          that is awesome. i’ll definitely ask about it

  14. Carrie on January 21, 2016 at 7:19 am

    I’d be interested in more detail and explanation around this comment.

    “I really liked these while I was on them, but it wasn’t until I was OFF that pill that I realized how great I felt without it.”

    Just wondering what differences you felt.

    • Fitnessista on January 21, 2016 at 10:23 am

      i was cranky, irritable and lethargic. when i got off the pill, i was like “whoa. this is what normal people must feel like”

      • Carrie on January 21, 2016 at 11:02 am

        That’s interesting. I’m cranky and irritable frequently. I wouldn’t necessarily identify with lethargic. I’m on the pill for endometriosis and I’m so scared to go off, but I think about now and then. Thanks for answering.

  15. Ali on January 21, 2016 at 7:19 am

    Hey there!

    I wanted to share my two cents about the IUD as I’m now on my second. I initially had good experiences with the pill, but wound up feeling like an emotional basket case all the time. Switching to the Mirena was a dream. There’s little to no estrogen (which is what made me go crazy town) the first time. I am on my second because they are only good for 7 years (the Mirena anyway). I’ll be honest, reading your childbirth stories reminded me of getting an IUD. And clearly, I didnt go through a fraction of what you did. HOWEVER, I will say it’s only because I haven’t had kids. For those who have, I hear it’s literally no biggy. But I think back to it with a bit of horror, after the insertion of the first I said I’d never do it again. Never say never hahaha. Anyhow, I’m super happy with it. I feel the most normal I’ve ever felt on birth control (in other words, I don’t feel like I’m on it, which can be rare for women) and as the gal below said, they’ve advanced a lot. My mom too had to have one surgically removed, but that was 30 years ago! Periods last 2-3 days, and certainly don’t knock you flat due to cramps or anything. Anyway, in case you’re debating, I think it’s a decent option with a much much lower hormone dose (since it doesn’t have to travel like the oral pill).

    Best of luck! Chat with your doc, I’m sure she’ll say that having had two babes, your insertion will be easy peasy!

    • Fitnessista on January 21, 2016 at 10:23 am

      ok, i will talk to her about it. thank you!

  16. Kim on January 21, 2016 at 7:20 am

    I’m one of the people whose IUD went where it shouldn’t. They had to put me under to get it out, and before they knocked me out I didn’t know if they could get it the easy way or it would require surgery. Luckily it came out the easy way. So I moved onto the pill. After a year or so I had a pulmonary embolism due to the increased risk of blood clots from being on the pill. I was in the hospital for days and couldn’t work out for months. I had to be on blood thinners for over a year and it wasn’t until I was off them that I finally started to feel normal again. I’m nearing the two year anniversary and at the gym I’m still not where I was before. My doctor said “you will never be the same.” So….. It’s condoms for us!

    • Fitnessista on January 21, 2016 at 10:22 am

      oh man…. what a giant pain and bummer for you. happy to hear you’re on the mends <3

  17. Crystal on January 21, 2016 at 7:21 am

    This is a topic that has come up recently between my husband and I…we currently use the FAM, which requires a lot of discipline, but it works for us. The other option I’ve considered is an IUD; I’ve heard good and bad things and sometimes I wonder if it just depends on the individual.

    FYI I have a friend whose father’s vasectomy “grew back” when her parents were 44 and not planning on more kids…lol she was a surprise miracle baby. Idk how common that is but that would make me nervous!

    • Fitnessista on January 21, 2016 at 10:21 am

      same! there’s always the “what if”

  18. Ali @ Peaches and Football on January 21, 2016 at 7:33 am

    My co-worker just went into the Dr on Christmas vacation to have her IUD swapped out. They couldn’t find it. She had an ultrasound and they found it had somehow moved way up the right side of her hip so she needed surgery to cut in (small incision) to remove it and also had to scope up her lady parts to see if they could find the travel path and see if anything was wrong.

    She ended up getting her tubes tied when they were doing the IUD removal surgery. I am sure this is something that’s rare but boy when it actually happens so someone you physically know and not “a friend of a friend of a friend” it makes it feel like your odds maybe aren’t as good. We are sticking with FAM and backup protection during middle of the month.

    • Fitnessista on January 21, 2016 at 10:21 am

      gahhhhhhh
      you’re right. once it happens to someone you know, it can change your perspective on it

  19. June on January 21, 2016 at 7:37 am

    Hi Gina,

    Like you, I’m two and through. I did the depo-shot and love that its only 4 times a year. I lived on BC pills for many many years and I just hated taking them. I hated them even more after having my kids. This might be TMI, but since the shot, I haven’t had a period, maybe occasional spotting. Still a hormone, but doesn’t require anything else other than a prescription and someone handy with a needle. I thought about IUDs as well, since all my friends loved it – but it creeps me out a little.

    • Fitnessista on January 21, 2016 at 10:20 am

      that is incredible. i hate shots and needles, but i might go for it.

      • Tammy on January 21, 2016 at 6:39 pm

        I would suggest doing some research before taking Depo, I heard it causes bone loss.

        • Fitnessista on January 21, 2016 at 9:36 pm

          wow, good to know! thank you

  20. goddessbear on January 21, 2016 at 7:37 am

    After my second child, we also are the “two and through” type. I was afraid of doing an IUD and was also not wanting to use the permanent solution for birth control. My doctor actually suggested the nuvaring. So far it has been going well…of course my cycle has only been back for 5 months so far!

    • Fitnessista on January 21, 2016 at 10:20 am

      i’ll look into it!! one of my friends had that and loved it

    • Dietitian Jess on January 21, 2016 at 11:16 am

      LOOOOVE my Nuvaring! No kids (yet) but love not worrying about having to take a pill- especially one that makes me sick! After I have kids I’ll be probably in the same boat with wanting more permanent protection…

      • Andrea on January 21, 2016 at 3:56 pm

        Nuva ring is amazing. Only need to worry about changing it once a month, and it made my periods go from really heavy and long (8-10 days) to barely noticeable and last 2-3 days at most. IUD scares me as well, mostly for the pain of insertion, but I’m going to go for it once I have my baby in a few weeks!

  21. AJ on January 21, 2016 at 7:38 am

    Thank you so much for this post! I’m 35 weeks with our last (our 6th, we always wanted a big family) and this has been something we’ve been talking about. I feel the same way about the pill and an IUD so we were thinking vasectomy but now I don’t know! Decisions, decisions!

    • Fitnessista on January 21, 2016 at 10:19 am

      it’s so tricky!

  22. Denise G. on January 21, 2016 at 7:41 am

    I’m not even clicking on the vasectomy link because hubby has already agreed to it now that he’s got his 2 boys. (Well Lord willing as of Mid-May we will.) We apparently are very compatible in the baby making department so we need to make sure we have something very reliable once this guy is here.

    Initially daddy talked about having 3 but I just can’t see it as a working mom with my current schedule and like you say being able to give them a great education, etc. And my family
    will be very sad to hear this is it because they so badly want a girl (I’m the last girl born in my family) but I guess I was just meant to be a boy mama.

  23. Farah on January 21, 2016 at 7:52 am

    I’m 23 weeks pregnant with my first- a boy- and we are pretty sure we are going to be two and through for a lot of the same reasons you mentioned. We want to be able to travel with our kids and invest into them fully. As much as I’d love a huge family, it just seems like it would be difficult to balance…and difficult to finance! Before getting pregnant, I was on oral birth control pills for a few months before throwing in the towel…HATED the way they made me feel. After that we used natural family planning/pull out method (sorry for tmi haha) that worked perfectly until we were ready for a baby.

    • Fitnessista on January 21, 2016 at 10:18 am

      we call it pull and pray haha

  24. ida on January 21, 2016 at 8:01 am

    I have a copper IUD and love it. I havent had kids yet, and i really didnt experience that much pain with the insertion- it’s supposed to be way easier for women who’ve had kids too. I love that it’s hormone free and i never have to think about it. If you google around enough you can find terrible side effects from every form of birth control- i say talk to your Dr about best options for you and your fam. (personally i think a lifetime of condoms sounds miserable).

  25. Coco on January 21, 2016 at 8:10 am

    Gina, such a lovely post. I’m carrying my second girl too and I’m with you on feeling we’ll be settled, but I always will have my doubts.
    Would love to know what you decide on birth control going forward.

  26. Blair on January 21, 2016 at 8:33 am

    We have talked about long term plans as well but vasectomy is NOT an option for us. I hate the finality of it. Of anything permanent that cannot be easily reversed 100%. My mom always takes about regretting her decision to get her tubes tied after her third because several years later she wanted a fourth. I never want any regrets:) So we are going to stick with something that is easily removed/stopped in case we decided a fourth is in our future (currently we are thinking we are DONE after three but you just never know how you will feel in a few months or a few years). Also we have two girls and everyone in their brother asks if we are trying for a boy. NO WE ARE TRYING FOR A BABY! 🙂

    • Fitnessista on January 21, 2016 at 10:17 am

      i agree. the finality of it makes me sad, like something is being taken away from us.
      haha and loved what you said about trying for a baby

  27. Leslie on January 21, 2016 at 8:55 am

    My husband and I have been married for 3 years, and together for 5. I’ve been on the depo shot for about 5 years now, and I haven’t looked back. There was a point about 3 years in that my primary care physician told me he wouldn’t prescribe the shot for me anymore because he was concerned about my bone density. I was then referred to an OB/GYN to discuss IUD options. I’ve always had a really awful period (throwing up for 2 days, intense migraines, etc.), and what I loved most about the depo shot was that I didn’t have a period for the entire time I was on it. Since IUD options do not guarantee loss of period, I was pretty bummed out with the whole situation. Upon talking with the OB/GYN, she said that as long as I took calcium supplements (I don’t eat a lot of cheese or milk, etc.), she would happily allow me to stay on the depo shot for as long as I’d like. So, I’m still on the depo shot, taking my daily calcium, not having a period, and just loving it. Doctors have told me that the depo shot takes the longest to “get out of your system” if you go off it in hopes to get pregnant. My husband and I aren’t interested in babies at all at the moment, so this isn’t a concern for us, and sounds like it won’t be a concern for you either. Anyway, long story short, I LOVE the depo shot!

    • Fitnessista on January 21, 2016 at 10:17 am

      wow, that’s great to know! i’ll look into it

  28. Lynora on January 21, 2016 at 9:02 am

    My husband just had a vasectomy 4weeks ago and it went well (although now I’m a little nervous after reading that article). We are in a similar situation where we have two (boy 5 and girl 2). I would love to have more babies but I think with two we can maintain our lifestyle financially and travel again! Paying for 4 plane tickets this year was enough sticker shock for me. I am also a big fan of man on man defense! I always thought two would be good and then when we had two I thought I would have the “I’m done” feeling which really never came. Maybe it never does? It’s a hard chapter (and such a short chapter) in our lives to close without any thought or sadness, right?

    • Fitnessista on January 21, 2016 at 10:16 am

      so true about the plane tickets! 4 is plenty for us haha
      i totally agree. thinking about being done with the “having babies” chapter is bittersweet.

  29. Carrie on January 21, 2016 at 9:03 am

    I had a horrible (though not the worst – my friend’s body kicked hers out and she said it made birth seem like a walk in the park) experience with the IUD. They cut me internally, then couldn’t stop the bleeding. I had my very first panic attack during the whole thing and then proceeded to get weekly infections as a result. I got it removed and my body felt like mine again. I’ve been back on the pill again and am so much happier. That said, I have two good friends who LOVE their IUDs. The pill just works best for me and my body for now. You’ll find what works best for you at this stage, though it may take some trial and error! Good luck! 🙂

    • Fitnessista on January 21, 2016 at 10:15 am

      OH GOD. this is enough for me to be afraid forever hahah

  30. Rebecca on January 21, 2016 at 9:06 am

    I have an IUD and I LOVE it. Its the Mirena, and while there was initially some cramping and spotting (and the transition off of hormonal birth control, which was probably the hardest part for me), I will probably have another IUD put in when this one needs to be removed. I don’t really have a period anymore (it stopped after about 6 months) because of the low, localized hormones, and I’m completely sold on it.

  31. Zoe on January 21, 2016 at 9:49 am

    IUD!! Seriously!!! It is AMAZING!! The copper one is so effective and the hormonal one works great too. If you’re considering taking pills you should consider an IUD. They are so effective and absolutely mindless you never have to think about it at all. I had one put in (having never given birth) and took a small dose of misteprone and 800 mgs Advil beforehand- and it went in just fine. I took Advil for a few days after but truly did not notice. Talk to your doctor, it really cannot get lost. The worst thing that happens is it falls out, in which case it’s up to you to put it back in or not. Don’t read all the crap on the internet because it’s just fear mongering, seriously. I am in love with my IUD!

    • Fitnessista on January 21, 2016 at 10:14 am

      haha good to know! i’ll do some more research

  32. melissa on January 21, 2016 at 9:59 am

    I would love to hear more about FAM Gina — do you find it sustainable?
    And also second the question about how you felt after going off the pill. These are all things I am thinking about and it is awesome you are willing to discuss it.

    • Fitnessista on January 21, 2016 at 10:13 am

      i do think it’s sustainable, since i’ve been doing it now for about 6 years (of course w two pregnancies in there). it took me a long time to get the hang of it, but once i did, it was magical. i can pretty much tell the day i’m ovulating.
      as far as the pill goes, i had no idea how moody, cranky, and lethargic i was on it. i thought it was “normal” until i was off and thought “wow, i feel like a normal person”

  33. Laura T. on January 21, 2016 at 10:04 am

    I tried an IUD and it was the worst 6 months of my life!! I was warned beforehand that it might not work for me as I haven’t had any children. It did not work. It caused me so much pain. The cramps were so severe that I would double over from the pain. After about 6 months, when I was having other medical issues, I had then yank that thing right out. Instant relief. Since that time my husband had a vasectomy. It wasn’t that bad for him- his words. He only took one pain killer and that was the night that he had the procedure. Other than being a little uncomfortable for a couple of days, he was fine. He said he would do it again if need be. He went and got tested twice after and things were fine. I am sure you will hear conflicting stories from everyone, as we all have our own experiences and everyone’s bodies react differently.

    • Fitnessista on January 21, 2016 at 10:12 am

      that is so true. ugh, i’m sorry you had such a bad experience!
      xoxo

    • zoe on January 21, 2016 at 12:12 pm

      I’m curious, Laura, if you don’t mind sharing, did you get a copper IUD? All my friends with copper ones have a lot of painful cramping.

  34. Whitney on January 21, 2016 at 10:11 am

    Thank you for talking about birth control! I know it’s not always a popular topic, but it’s nice to see/read about. I hope you and your sweet family are having a good week.

  35. Linda on January 21, 2016 at 10:43 am

    After my second child when my period returned it was awful. I had no idea a person could bleed so much with a single cycle. This continued for 3 months and I couldn’t handle it. I had a 1 year old and a 3 year old and this gushing period which was horrid for me. I ended up having an ablation and during this procedure I had my tubes tied. This was two years ago and my periods are pretty much non-existent. Every couple of months I will spot for a day or two. Best decision of my life.

  36. S. Valerio on January 21, 2016 at 10:56 am

    After 3 wonderful boys I was blessed with my precious daughter 9 months ago….yes, I wanted that girl! :). Now, my husband and I are happily DONE and excited to enjoy our family of 6 for years to come. I had the IUD after my daughter but recently had it removed because it made my periods longer and cramps stronger. My husband has since had a vasectomy…for added security I am considering an endometrial ablation but still in the research phase.

  37. Krista on January 21, 2016 at 10:58 am

    My hubby had a vasectomy shortly after Noah was born. Two years later I required a hysterectomy. I tease him that if he hadn’t “gotten fixed” we probably would’ve had a third child in that short time frame. But like you, we were done at 2 so it all worked out. 🙂

  38. Jen on January 21, 2016 at 11:04 am

    My husband had a vasectomy and it worked great. He just got a test to make sure it worked completely. He had no side affects and it’s helped our sex life because we don’t have to worry anymore.

  39. melodie on January 21, 2016 at 11:41 am

    I think maybe at one point you mentioned adoption on the blog. I assume that is out now? My husband and i went into marriage saying 4 kids. Now we have 3 and he thinks we are complete and have our hands FULL. 🙂 i still want our #4. Minds definitely change when you start growing your family and realize all the work involved in parenting. Several kids are more work when they’re growing up but i like to dream of the future and how fun it will continue to be years down the road. i need my #4!!! Haha. Typing this all just reminded me of that. 🙂

  40. Julia on January 21, 2016 at 11:55 am

    My first period after baby 2 was horrible. And sooo much blood. Thankfully it has normalized a bit for me after 3 or 4 cycles. Hopefully it will for you!

    • Fitnessista on January 21, 2016 at 1:10 pm

      I’m sorry that happened to you too, but glad to hear I’m not the only one! I was like WHAT IS HAPPENING? When I called the doc, they sent me to the ER because it was an alarming amount. I’m seriously scared to have another one

  41. Ali on January 21, 2016 at 11:56 am

    I think your family is just so priceless. My sister and I are best friends, and I think I am grateful that it was just the two of us. There is NOTHING like the sister bond! Yikes about vasectomies though!

  42. Erin @ Erin's Inside Job on January 21, 2016 at 11:57 am

    I had a Mirena IUD for 5 years and it was great. What was NOT great was getting it inserted and it was the most pain I have ever been in in my life. That being said, I also haven’t had children, so it was harder to get it in. Getting it out was painless and took 2 seconds. Of course everyone is different, so don’t put too much weight on my terror story haha.

  43. Dominique on January 21, 2016 at 11:58 am

    I also have a copper IUD and love it. I’m on my third one. We used it before kids (2008-2011) and then between babies (2012-2014) and I just got the third one inserted in September. It’s great that it’s a set it and forget it kind of thing. I check the strings in the shower periodically but otherwise don’t worry about it. It was much easier to get inserted after having a child. I think it works great for us and I’m very happy with it. All the horror stories are very rare but I will say you want someone who inserts them frequently. It makes a huge difference in the experience of insertion and the likelihood of complications.

  44. Kristen on January 21, 2016 at 12:45 pm

    I love reading all of these comments. It’s amazing just how unique each woman and experience is!
    I currently have the Mirena and I love it. I was so freaking nervous about getting it put in because I’d heard that it hurts like hell. My dr said that since I’ve had a child, it probably wouldn’t hurt as bad. I held my breath and said a prayer and THANK LITTLE BABY JESUS it didn’t hurt! I’ve had it in for 4 years now and I’ve had a very positive experience with it. My periods are very light or sometimes non existent, which is fine with me.
    There are so many options and obviously what works for one person could be horrible for another (some of these stories are terrifying to read!).

  45. Cynthiasolc on January 21, 2016 at 12:46 pm

    I know planning is good, but I cannot tell you the peace of mind and many blessings to both your marriage and family when using NFP. God is good – many blessings on your journey.

  46. Melissa on January 21, 2016 at 1:04 pm

    Everyone is different but here’s my 2 cents:

    * I was on the pill forever and liked it until I had some weird hormonal things go on. Like you, I was over the synthetic hormones.

    * I got an IUD and hated it. The hormones in Mirena made me gain weight and I was cranky and had pain in my knee joints. I got it out after a year.

    * I had my tubes tied over a year ago and I’ve been so much better off. It took a while for my hormones to get back to normal (I take Vitex to help with that) but it’s awesome. I never had a surgery before in my life and I was back to work after a long weekend.

    You have to do what’s best for you though.

  47. Megan @ Skinny Fitalicious on January 21, 2016 at 1:26 pm

    For me the IUD was the only option because of all my hormone imbalances taking birth control was no longer an option. Plus I’d been taking it since 16 & who knows what that does to you long term. Definitely a lot of pros and cons to weigh!

  48. Cindy on January 21, 2016 at 2:16 pm

    We just had our second daughter three months ago and just the other day my mother-in-law asked when we were having a third baby/trying for a boy. First off lady, this latest is STILL a baby. Second, we live in a two bedroom town home – there’s no room for another body with two adults, two littles (and all their toys), and a rott/husky 13 year old dog. Third, who would be financing this third kid? Or better yet, carrying it because this mama is done! Definitely two and through over here!!

  49. Cara on January 21, 2016 at 2:46 pm

    I have 2 daughters and we’re through as well. I was filled with love for my husband when I overheard a guy ask him the “try for a boy question” & he responded, “My girls can do anything a boy can do”. LOVE!!

    • Fitnessista on January 21, 2016 at 9:47 pm

      PERFECT <3

  50. Erin @ Her Heartland Soul on January 21, 2016 at 6:30 pm

    I think I’ll be two and through too! But I haven’t even started yet so we’ll see what actually happens! haha

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