why we decided to homeschool
sharing more about how long we intend to homeschool, and why the heck we’re doing it with just a little over a month left of the school year.
Hi friends!
I hope that you’re having an amazing week and I’m so pumped that so many of you have signed up for our Spring Forward wellness challenge. Make sure to sign up here – it’s totally free and it’s going to be a ton of fun. If you’re looking for a blast of motivation as we head into spring, this is the perfect way to do it!
For today’s post, I wanted to share a little bit more about our homeschool journey and what’s going on. I’ve alluded to the fact that we’ve had a rough time the past few months and it’s been difficult to navigate how and what to share. I’ve always been open with you guys when it comes to my life, but the purpose of the blog has always been to share MY experience; not my children’s. It’s a tricky line to walk, especially when they’re a huge part of my life and I feel like so many of you are a part of our family. At the same, I never want them to feel like their privacy has been invaded by what I share here, so I’ve always tried to take a delicate approach to my content, especially as they’ve gotten older.
The nutshell version is this: we ended up transferring Liv to another private school in January. We were all struggling with the mind-boggling amount of homework, tests, and assignments. It was especially hard with her competition dance schedule. We switched studios and cut her hours in half, and she was still up until at least midnight every night (for the past 2+ years) trying to finish everything for school. I’m a huge believer in hard work and I think academic rigor has its place, but it was too much for everyone. So, she switched and has been thriving.
When she switched schools, it was the first time P hasn’t had her big sis at school, which was challenging for her. The Pilot also retired, which was a huge transition, and she started to have more frequent stomachaches. (Her stomach has bothered her on and off for years, which has always worried me since she had severe reflux as a baby and was on Prilosec and Zantac, which has been recalled for terrifying reasons.) She saw multiple doctors, had an ultrasound, her stomach was deemed “healthy,” and their only suggestion was to put her on a PPI again. She was also doing CBT weekly, and sometimes twice a week. Her stomach pain and anxiety got so bad that she missed many days of school, and we were here trying to keep up with the insane amount of homework, classwork, and tests.
The Pilot was home for retirement and was teaching her the content, making sure she completed the huge packets of classwork, and taking her to school for tests. He had go back to commercial airline training and I couldn’t fathom solo parenting, working, and trying to keep up with all of the school work she was missing, so I asked her to either choose to go back to school or we could pull her out, and she said, “Please homeschool me.”
I never intended to be a teacher, but I’ll do anything for our babies and if it’s what P needs right now, I’m going to do it.
(We love Nicole the Math Lady! An amazing rec from Brittany.)
Also worth mentioning here that I decided to do a Food Sentivity Test (and some other functional labs) and got to the root cause of some gut issues, and her gluten sensitivity was severe. No wonder her stomach was hurting :/ Since she started the protocols and removed gluten, her stomach pain has greatly reduced.
Our plan now:
– She’s on the waitlist for Liv’s new school but realistically won’t be able to get in until 5th grade
– We’ll homeschool until then and if she decides to go back, that’s great, and if she doesn’t want to, that’s ok, too.
The funny thing is that I used to be really wary of homeschooling. Pre-kids thought to myself, “How on earth can a parent expect to teach their kids more effectively than a teacher?”
During the girls’ time in school, we’ve had some extraordinary teachers who are everything teachers should be. They love kids, love what they’re teaching, they are above and beyond. But at the same time, some teachers are…not good. They say bizarre things in class, shame children in front of their peers, and this happens in a private school environment ALL the time, when you are paying for your kid to be taught by instructors who don’t seem to like children at all. A vast majority of the time, we spent the three to four hour block each night teaching anyway, because they weren’t taught the content during their classes.
Growing up, I also thought that homeschooled kids were probably awkward because they don’t have as much social interaction. The reality is that all of the homeschooled kids I’ve met are kind, articulate, friendly, and incredibly smart.
Even though I’ve seen friends homeschool and kind of daydreamed about how how fun it would be, I didn’t consider it a possibility because I work from home, juggling client calls, content creation, podcast interviews, Zooms, IHP work, etc. I didn’t feel like I could add another things to my plate, but I didn’t even think twice about it when we got to this point. I’ve shuffled my schedule around a lot so that most of my content creation is done over the weekend, and the beauty about homeschool is that it only takes around two hours each day at this age.
This post is already super long, so I’ll share another post soon with the curriculum we’re using and how we structure our days.
Thank you for your kindness and being so amazing over the past few months. It’s been a rough year in many ways (this is just one of them) and being here with you all each day is a major bright spot. We finished our first full week of homeschool and I’m feeling pretty excited and hopeful about it! I’m also thankful that we get to spend some extra time together and are looking into all of the cool homeschool activities that Tucson offers!
xoxo
Gina
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Good for you, and her!! When things aren’t right with your kids, it’s hard to do anything else! I definitely thought about it when my son was having a hard time at school. We ended up switching from French immersion to English, and he’s doing much better!
I have no experience with homeschooling, my kids are still in PreK.
But I wonder how much time is “wasted” at school, just like at work. I sometimes wonder if we could all condense our days of working or learning into half the amount of time, and spend the other half on things that personally or mentally grow us (or shoot, getting stuff done so we can actually enjoy a weekend).
I have also learned to never say never in life. I dont ever see myself home schooling but reading your situation, would have done the same path.
Omg yes this. We are currently homeschooling and for my fifth grade daughter, we budget out 3-4 hours a day for school MAX. Which is still more learning time than she was getting. When you factor in recess, lunch, kids messing around, teachers having to deal with nonsense, etc., I think she was probably getting 90 min of learning time in a 6.5 hour day.
I couldn’t agree more. it’s so much time each day, and while I totally get that they structure there days in a certain way for a reason, it seems like too much to me
and exactly right — I try to never say never either 🙂
Thank you so much for sharing this. My daughter is in the fourth grade at a private school. She has been having stomach aches and headaches regularly. We got cleared for medical reasons and are also doing CBT and DBT. I think I know what I need to look into now; THANK YOU for sharing!
My daughter was supposed to start kindergarten and my son preschool in 2020 so I ended up homeschooling that year—I had both kindergarten and preschool curriculum but it turned out my son preferred to join in with the kindergarten stuff (which is the beauty of homeschooling—you can meet your kids at exactly where they are at). They went to school the following year at a private school where we spent two years before moving to a different private school. We are happy at our current school but I always say I would homeschool again in a heartbeat if we ever needed to❤️
We have strongly considered pulling Kyle out ! Great to read about your experiences! Keep it coming
we’re so so glad we did it
Good luck on this homeschooling journey!! I homeschooled my two sons, and the youngest is graduating this year! It was the absolute best choice for our family, and we loved it so much! I hope you’ll have a wonderful experience!
thank you – we are loving it so far!
You CAN do it and you might completely fall in love! I was homeschooled all the way through by my awesome mom (no formal education training) and was able to get a full ride at a private college of my choice thanks to my academics and volunteering. There are SO many resources for homeschoolers, the community can be incredible, and you get so much quality time with your awesome daughter. Enjoy every moment. 🙂 I fully intend to homeschool my own kids some day.
that is so amazing – thank you for sharing your story and for the hope and encouragement 🙂
Welcome to the party-it really is pretty awesome! I have been homeschooling my daughter for her entire academic life (and have always worked from home as well). She is currently in 6th grade and we love it. This year we did an “online school” where they provide the curriculum, assignments, exams, etc. but I still go through each subject with her to make sure she is understanding the information. We are also part of a CO-OP that meets once a week for some learning and for the kids to be able to hang out. There are so many things for kids to be involved with-sports, music, theater, etc. that socialization has never really been an issue.
I have been following your blog forever (15 years?!). If you have any questions, always happy to share our experience!
I love that! so happy to hear that you’ve found amazing options and she’s thriving 🙂
what did you guys do for science and geography/social studies??
I mean this comment with a spirit of curiosity, just wondering why not public school? I live in Tucson (Marana) and I think you’re in the Foothills – that’s a pretty good district. Wondering why that was ruled out? Just curious, since you mentioned switching from one private to another but didn’t address public. We’ve tried public and charter for our kids and I have friends who do everything in-between (homeschool, private, school choice driving kids way across town each day, etc. etc. etc.). Education in the state of Arizona is a bit of a mess and I truly think every family (every CHILD!) is different, so kudos for doing what is best for your family! I hope you will continue to share your homeschooling journey!
we did try a public school when we first moved here and it wasn’t a fit for liv. the curriculum and teachers were incredible, but we had some other problems (a kid hit liv in the face and knocked her glasses down, another stole her lunch and ate it in front of her, another brought a knife to school) so we pulled her out. she was used to smaller private school environments so it worked out well for her.
I totally agree – it’s all over the place and it’s really about finding what works best for each kid because they’re so different
I am fortunate to live in a great school district, and we have not had any problems. But I do always daydream about homeschool. From the outside it seems like a much slower way of life. I’m sure it’s hard! And doing flexible instruction days during snow are difficult enough for me lol. Good luck with homeschooling and kudos to you for knowing what’s best for your kiddo.
Wow Gina! Thank you SO much for sharing your experience. I’m so sorry P was having difficulty. I teacher jr high and do not give much HW. I honestly can’t believe how much HW my third grader has. She has focus issues and has tutoring multiple days after school, and we keep activities at a minimum to be able to keep up. I teach in a private school and my kids attend my school. It’s so hard to be a mom and make so many important decisions. I wish it were easier. I don’t think I’d do a good job homeschooling but wouldn’t rule it out. I actually think I do a much better job with other people’s kids compared to my own. But you’re doing awesome! Please keep sharing.
I totally agree – it’s tough to make these decisions.
thank you for the encouragement!
I never thought I’d homeschool but when you get to a certain point, you’ll do anything to help your kid… so here we are 😉
You 100% did the right thing. I used to have the same preconceived notion about homeschooling that you did until I met a friend who was homeschooling her kids, and they absolutely thrived. Like you said, they were able to cover the curriculum in a much shorter amount of time due to it being one on one. You are going to be amazing at this! I think it will work out great for your family. Best of luck! You got this!
thank you, friend. I’m crossing my fingers it continues to go well!
You’re doing such a great job as a mom. Be proud. 🙂
thank you, friend – I appreciate it
I struggled with something similar at her age, and I know how stressful it can be. Hang in there! You’re all doing great!
On a homework note, I have a friend who taught in a low-income school, and they couldn’t assign homework since so many students worked after school and/or didn’t have stable housing. Everything had to be done during school hours, and I really think there is something to that!
thank you so much – I appreciate it
and I totally agree. I think that hours of homework hurts kids who don’t have stable housing or parents who work at night. I think all school work should be done during school; they’re there for 7+ hours.
Can’t wait to read about your daily schedule and curriculum! Homeschool is something I’m very much considering. <3
Thank you for sharing, I’ve always thought my son would be happier being homeschooled, especially as he gets older. Its nice to hear a real life experience from another working mom about how you make it work. I think for some kids, its actually easier for them socially as they’re not forced into situations they may not feel right in. I hope things go well for you both in this!
I totally agree! thank you so much
This is the first post in years I’ve felt the need to comment on, and I’d also like to hear a response to why you aren’t trying public school. As someone who works in education, I feel the need to point out education has changed significantly, especially since COVID. I understand you have the means to send your children to private school, but teachers are now expected to teach increasingly difficult content younger and younger, fit in social emotional learning in addition to everything required by the state, with curriculums that are constantly changing. None of this is the teacher’s fault or idea. We also have to follow up on attendance and fill in gaps where parents can’t – which I realize in your situation you can afford to buy your girls backpacks and jackets as well as food and take multiple expensive trips per year, but the reality now is many cannot, and it’s only going to get worse. Additionally, it’s stressful to be constantly connected to parents and respond to everything in an appropriate amount of time while being asked to fill out xyz rating form for nearly every student in your room. I’m happy you were able to do what you need to for your family, but to state they weren’t teaching during the day is wild. They most definitely were but probably had to stop to handle a behavior or some other issue. The effect of social media and phones on students and their mental health can’t be ignored. Their attention span is estimated to be 30 seconds currently and have few coping or self help skills. I feel like this post is coming from your place of privilege and ignoring the reality for so many.
the response as to why we weren’t trying public school is because we did, and it went poorly. we did private school in San Diego and Valdosta (and had amazing experiences) but when we first moved back to tucson in 2018, we enrolled liv in public school because we’re fortunate to live in an excellent district. the teachers were wonderful, but there were interactions with the kids that caused us to pull liv out and try a smaller private school, which was a better fit for her learning style anyway. at the public school, we were happy with the curriculum and focus on arts, but one kid slapped her in the face and knocked her glasses to the ground, another kid took her lunch and ate it in front of her, and another kid brought a knife to school. there were way too many kids for the administration to keep an eye on what was happening, so we transferred.
I think all of the things that were happening at her private school (which offers scholarships and the ESA program, which makes it attainable for multiple income brackets) puts the kids in difficult situations at an even higher disadvantage. when we’d sit at the table for HOURS with the girls each night doing homework, I was wondering what the heck families were doing who had parents that worked at night. who could help those kids? who could help those kids with these expensive and ridiculous projects that required supplies and hours at home? it was so frustrating to me because I absolutely thought about those things. our kids are lucky that we’re able to be around and help them and I know it’s not the reality for a lot of kids. also, I totally get that teachers are doing the best they can, but they aren’t spending the entire day teaching. time is spent doing other things, which isn’t their fault, but when parents have to fill in the gaps with hours of instruction and worksheets (both girls had no clue what was going on in math and we’d have to explain all of the lessons to them), it’s a tough situation for everyone.
Did you do a food sensitivity test through your doctor? Or via service? If it was a service which one? My daughter has stomach issues too.
I ran it myself since I’m an IHP2. if you’re interested in doing one, send me an email gina@fitnessista.com and I can send the details over