My baby hates the high chair {video}
and her stroller,
and basically any occasion when she isn’t able to move around freely on her own.
Usually, it’s NBD because I’d rather hold her hand and let her walk around. She wants to move and explore instead of being strapped down, and I get that.
However, there are some times when she needs to sit still -like to eat at a restaurant- and it’s been a little more challenging lately.
Just starting a couple of weeks ago, at home I’d go to sit her in the high chair and she’d shriek like she was on fire. Instead of the high chair, I asked her if she wanted to sit at the table in her elephant chair. (The elephant chair was a gift when Livi was born, and has been amazing for play dates and toddler dinner guests.)
“Yes! Elephant chair!”
She sat happily in the booster seat to eat her meal, and it’s been the elephant chair ever since. Looks like the high chair will be getting cleaned and stored in the garage for kiddo #2.
While we have it figured out at home, I have no idea what to do when we’re out and about. She doesn’t want to sit in a high chair, or a booster chair, and we like going out to eat. I was thinking of getting an extra elephant booster seat and toting it in the car with us? Also, I need to start packing up a little bag of fun toys/puzzles to see if that will distract her enough to sit at the table and forget what kind of seat she’s in.
Recently, we grabbed food from a restaurant but she wouldn’t sit in the high chair or the booster seat, so we packed the food up and came home to eat dinner here. I don’t really want this to become a habit, but I’m not going to make her scream by sitting in something that she hates. Maybe an extra elephant seat is the way to go. Any moms facing a similar situation? Of course, another “problem that’s not really a problem” but I always love to hear what’s worked for fellow mamas. You’ve given me some of the best tips! 🙂
And just for fun, a video of her counting! She does something to amaze me every day.
xoxo
Gina
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So sweet!! Love that video 🙂
I love watching videos of liv! Keep ’em coming! And since I don’t have any kids, I have no idea what I would do about this situation. I’d probably try the elephant chair and pray to baby jesus that it works?
Sounds like it’d be worth an extra chair to me, especially since you love dining out, but maybe try more activities first, like special things that you only give her when waiting for food in a restaurant (like a special colouring book with different crayons than she is used to, or a specific puzzle that she can only try when out to eat?)
We’ve always used the booster seats, since both of mine were 6 mo old. I never wanted to highchair just bc it took up too much room in our kitchen. I even sat the booster in the bathtub to bathe them in buckled in when they were in the in between stage of sitting up but they were still unstable in the tub. We have one in the house and extra stays in the trunk of the car for restaurants, family gatherings.
Great video, little smarty pants!
Honestly, we just didn’t eat out for about a year. Its gets harder to keep them entertained at the table, and sitting still for the length of a restaurant dinner. I never felt like it was fair to her or the other restaurant patrons. Also, if we are eating out, I want to enjoy my food, and not be rushed because I am on a toddler clock.
We rarely used the stroller once our O could walk. Like you, I was happy to let her walk and explore..
Good Luck!
I agree. We’ve just started taking our son out for “little” meals (like breakfast at a cafe near our house) and he just turned 2. I think the waiting for that age at a restaurant is torture. Sometimes I have a hard time waiting myself!!
My daughter is just a few months older than Liv and she hates strollers, car seats, high chairs etc. as well. I’ve found that if we can get a booth in a restaurant and she is able to stand on it, she is much more content. Otherwise, it’s not worth it to stay if she is just going to be unhappy because she can’t run around!
Ah! Livi’s voice is so adorable!
My son has never liked the booster seats or high chairs at restaurants, so I we could get a booth he was happy there and could move a little more than being in a seat.
Mine are a year older so we can negotiate. Usually I explain that they will miss out if they dont want to sit in the stroller or high chair Or I offer incentives to sit in the chair (we have a sticker chart and when it is full they can pick any toy they like). I don’t want to teach them that they can have what they want by screaming or throwing a fit, but I also don’t want to torture them. You just have to find a balance. Bringing the elephant chair is great but you may want back ups in case you want to eat out and don’t have the chair with you.
It sounds like it might. E worth it to try another elephant chair. If it doesn’t work in restaurants, it will at least help you determine that she “working it” (meaning it is behavioral versus comfort) and you can decide how to procede from there. My 22 month old often likes to work it in public since he knows we are more likely to give in instead of cause a scene.
That video is so cute!
My Baylie is TOTALLY in that same high-chairs-are-the-devil stage. A couple weeks ago was our first horrific experience at a restaurant–the girl would not stay put. I was literally holding her wiggling body under my arm in a football hold so I could shovel SOMETHING into my empty stomach.
I don’t know what to do either… I will definitely be re-visiting this post to see some of the others’ advise!
Good luck!!
P.S. We have the Inglesina 2013 Fast Table Chair stashed in our car, and it’s soooo convenient. Super portable. Maybe get crafty and sew/glue/staple on a cute character…???
Been there. It’s the age and will pass.
My son is 4 now and tolerates sitting down at restaurants MUCH BETTER. Not a big fan of hooking kids on iPads and phone games – but it may be useful to keep Livi busy just enough to get through the meal.
Good luck and hang in there!
This post reminded me of an old Cup of Jo post. Apparently French children have less trouble sitting at restaurants and the authors of “Bringing Up Bebe” suggest it is related to eating/snacking habits.
http://joannagoddard.blogspot.com/2012/02/motherhood-mondays-how-to-raise-kids.html
I’ve read the book and love it! Liv has always been great at restaurants, even at longer and more upscale places, but recently decided she hates the chairs hah
Aww she is so so sweet! I love the elephant chair and I am glad she is starting to too 🙂 She is an active little girl!
Keep a bag of crayons in your purse. Restaurants usually can find some paper for the kiddo’s to color on.
I started letting my daughter sit on her knees at tables she never liked the booster seat. Sometimes my lap became her seat too. Good luck.
My son hates his high chair too and it’s so hard to take him to restaurants (he’s slightly younger than Liv). Lately we have been letting him sit in a regular chair with us and he has been doing so much better. Towards the end of our meal, especially if he’s already done with his food, he likes to wander which we can’t break him of that habit yet… If all else fails, we take our phones out to get him to stay at the table.
Usually my daughter will sit on her knees or on someones lap. Most of the time the booster seats at restaurants don’t feel very secure to me anyway. We don’t go out to eat very often, so its a treat. I’m interested to see how other parents deal with this too.
Hi Gina!
My son Owen is 13 months old and we too just had our first pack it up and bring it home experience at a restaurant and he too is usually very well behaved as well, he just loves to try new foods 🙂 we keep this booster seat in our car for when we travel it folds up and has a shoulder strap so it’s easy to tote around!
http://target.com/p/munchkin-travel-booster-seat-purple/-/A-11990151?ref=tgt_adv_XSG10001&AFID=Google_PLA_df&LNM=%7C11990151&CPNG=Baby&kpid=11990151&LID=PA&ci_src=17588969&ci_sku=11990151&gclid=CNC7mIrfj7kCFcmf4AodqHoAzw
Good luck!
You could try a travel booster seat. They fold flat and strap onto any chair. I keep one in the car and it comes in handy when there is no highchair or they don’t want to sit in it!
http://www.amazon.com/BRICA-Travel-Booster-Black-Green/dp/B004L2JJ6O/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1377129922&sr=8-1&keywords=travel+booster
Make your life easier and just get another elephant booster chair! It will be worth it!
Oh my gosh could she get any cuter!? Sorry I don’t have any tips but you must be so proud to have such an adorable little daughter! 🙂
Does she hate the high chair, or is she just exercising her right to express? My daughter is the same age and does the same thing every once in a while. But she’s almost two. She’s learning how to voice an opinion. Sometimes this is fine and she gets her way, other times, well…like anyone, she just needs to adapt to the situation. And I’ve learned not to give in at these times. She can’t “win” all the time and I don’t want her to because life doesn’t always go the way we want it to. And I don’t want her to grow up thinking she can have her way all day. She eventually gets it and calms down.
We have a version of the booster you have. It’s the only highchair my daughter has ever known, unless we’re out to eat. But if we go somewhere that I know doesn’t have highchairs, or if we leave town for the weekend, I take the booster with me. I think it’s meant to be portable. No need for two when you already have the one, I’d say.
Also, I concur with the crayons comment above. They tend to keep my daughter busy in the booster while we wait for food 🙂 Or books, those always work, too.
Cutest count to 10 I’ve ever heard!
That video is adorable! She’s going to be a heartbreaker when she’s older, such a pretty little girl! Just like her mama!
I know how you feel since our babies are just a few days apart. We were in a really bad restaurant phase at about 16 or 17 months and its a LITTLE better now but not great. We’d almost rather just get takeout since I get so stressed wondering when the “time bomb” will go off and she will freak. Lately her most happy time is if we get a booth and she gets to sit or stand in the booth next to us. But it still takes near constant entertaining to get through a meal. Almost not worth it…….
definitely- at that point, i’d rather just stay home because i haven’t had a word of conversation with anyone and had to quickly shovel all my food into my mouth
Yes I agree. I think we keep trying the restaurant thing because 9 out of 10 times its a family gathering and we’d rather attempt to join them then skip it all together. Plus extra hands make it so much easier. Someone is always offering to take a walk with her, switch seats to entertain her, etc. On a opposite note, although all my girl wants to do is walk lately, she also is in this new phase of wanting to be held a lot (“UP” is yelled frequently). They keep us guessing!
Eek, I don’t know – Max likes high chairs but if he is in a mood he won’t sit on them. We don’t go out that often anymore though. He doesn’t mind his high chair at home though. I would pick up an extra portable elephant chair if she likes it
By the way – I showed Max the video of Livi counting and this was his commentary “ahhh ohhhhh, hahaha MAMA” all while smiling. He pointed at her and called her Mama, but I think all girls are Mama right now 😉
As the mom of both older kids & a toddler, from experience I do not recommend leaving a restaurant when your daughter is misbehaving. This punishes you and your husband, and enforces the idea to you child that she is ultimately in control (even if she is *snicker*.)
Instead, when she misbehaves at a restaurant, discuss with your husband ahead of time who is going to be the “enforcer” during that outing. When the shenanigans inevitably start, give her one warning that if she does not stop then x, y, z will happen. I like logical consequences: Calmly stand up, speak in a quiet, firm voice, “Olivia, since you are choosing to yell at the restaurant, you may not stay at the table. We are going to the car.”
Do not waiver, bargain with her, or feel bad (it will show.) Be consistent. No radio or movie while she calms down. Don’t even lecture her. Just sit for a few minutes. Ask her if she’s ready to go back in and sit quietly to eat her yummy meal with Daddy. (She will be.) After maybe 3 stints in the car, trust me, she’ll be cured.
Please, do not purchase another elephant seat. She doesn’t really need it. She simply needs consistency with logical consequences. Keep it simple. She will understand cause & effect.
Hang in there. This too shall pass 😉
Hey Gina!
Olivia is too cute!! My Amelia is only 6 months so I like reading others advice. Hopefully this is a quick phase 😉
How’s your heel? I bought new running shoes for the half marathon nov 3 (my first, you inspired me to sign up!) and today my heel was and is now super painful. I’m not sure if I’ll race bc I’ve had it band stuff too and I’m hoping this heel thing is just temporary.
What did your shoe store people say? Maybe I’ll call mine.
Agree with Sarah! Simple consistent consequences now will set you up well for the terrible 2s that are on their way.
We have found booths are the BEST for our girls. Or our laps. They never would sit in high chairs, strollers, etc… At home we use the Bumbo seat booster seats (like the classic Bumbo, but booster-version for toddlers), and those seem easy to transport if you wanted.
Also, we order for them as soon as we sit down, like while the waitress is handing us the menus. That way their food is there quickly and buys us a little time.
I never had restaurant problems with my oldest (now 3). My little one – on the other hand – is going to be 1 this weekend, and we’re currently struggling with dining out. She throws everything on the floor and then screams until she gets it back. She lets out the most shrill squeals when she’s not getting food fast enough, and it’s just not relaxing or enjoyable. For the time being, we are working on “dining etiquette” at home and taking a hiatus from eating out with her. We were indulging bad behaviors in public that we wouldn’t at home just to keep her from disturbing others, and it wasn’t sitting well with me. At this point, she’s still just too little to reason with, so we are just going to see how the next few months go, and then work with it as we go. I tell ya, sometimes having a super laid-back first child is a curse… because it makes your more typical toddlers feel like hellions!!
If Olivia is like Bronwen at that age, then it’s just a phase. We opted to not eat out with her for a while and then we slowly ventured out again and it was fine.
Your little girl is so cute! I don’t have any little ones, but I think I would just not force her to try to sit in a highchair or booster until she’s ready to. I work in a restaurant and think it’s not worth the headache for the parents and children to force it.
She is such a doll, I love her little striped dress (and your super cute maxi in the first picture!). I’m not a momma but based on the experience of my friends, I’d vote second elephant chair or other travel booster seat so it’s something she’s familiar with.
I didn’t read the earlier post’s and this might have been already suggested. They sell travel “booster” seats that fold flat. I used to use them for all three of my boys. Bringing toy’s and such is always a good idea- try to keep a stash of things in the car that she has not seen or has not played with in a while. That will keep her occupied vs the things she play’s with all of the time. And I know you know this but this too is just a stage and will be gone in the blink of an eye.
Cheers- Melissa
I love your approach to dealing with situations with your daughter!
I wouldn’t get a second elephant chair. She’ll probably be bored with it in a month anyway, then you’re stuck with two. Is it hard to unstrap the one and throw in the car, until then?
If you need a dedicated-to-car booster, why not try the clamp-on style like the ones linked to above? One good thing about those is the kid is in there kind of well, unlike a booster seat. And she’s close to the people, unlike a highchair.
Though I agree with just waiting it out, too. No matter what you strap her into, she’ll probably be wanting out in 4 minutes flat, without heavy bribing. Sometimes it’s easier to get takeout for a year and a babysitter on other nights.
I totally agree with Sarah up there. Buying her another seat makes her feel like she is the one in control, and once that sticks in her mind (and at such a young age too!) it will be so hard for her to lose that mentality. Do you want a teenager who thinks they are the one in charge? And please don’t allow her to stand in the booth like another commenter suggested…what if there is someone in the booth behind her? They want to enjoy their restaurant experience as well and having a child be standing behind their head, possibly jumping, kicking, or employing other child antics will just ruin their dining experience. YOU (and Pilot) are the parents and the sooner Livi understands that you are not always going to bargain with her, the easier social outings will be.
My DD#2 is about the same age and in the same boat. We usually try to get a booth and then trap her on the inside letting her stand until the food comes and see if she’ll tolerate the high chair for a few minutes to eat til she protests enough and then we let her stand inside the booth with us again to finish eating. Also, color wonder books were a lifesaver at restaurants. I save them for only that occasion because markers are so messy its a great distraction until the food comes on those special restaurant occasions!
A ‘problem that’s not really a problem’. Teehee. Such a cute video!
I have the same problem with my almost 2 year old. He will almost always fight me to get him in a booster or a high chair, either at home or in a restaurant. First, I let him calm down, either by letting him stand, while I review the menu, once I pick what I want, I’ll let my husband order for us while I take him to the bathroom and wash his hands, or maybe take a lap around the block. If that doesn’t work, I give him my cellphone, a snack (right now he loves the yo drops by Plum Organics) or I pull out a toy that he can play with. I might even let him sit in a regular chair until the food arrives, and usually by then he’s ok getting in the booster/high chair.
I know its kind of bad, but occasionally I get a happy meal at McD’s and save the toy for “emergencies”. My husband does it too—he’s not a big eater, sometimes he just wants a little something and he leaves the bags of toys in the car. Its something new that can keep them entertained, and he loves opening the little bag to find a toy inside.
Let me just say that her sweet little voice made my heart explode! She is so precious and smart!
super cute vid!!! j’adore how she says six. i work with children every day and love them to pieces ……i have YET to see ONE child under 3 or even 5 for that matter who can “behave” at a restaurant like an adult. why are we so intent on forcing it at such an early age? i am by no means being accusatory. they are little, they have short attention spans and can’t quite grasp social morays. they are technically not benefitting or learning from the experience. i do not have children of my own and if i ever decide to they will never accompany me to a restaurant until they are at least in kindergarten simply out of respect for other restaurant patrons. it is not fun to be near a child/baby in a restaurant who is screaming, crying, wiggling, or making excessive noise when i am a paying adult customer. if i acted in such a manner i would be asked to leave. will this notion restrict my activities as a parent, sure, but frankly my child doesn’t have any business being in a restaurant if they aren’t able to regulate and manage their own behavior. it will only be temporary and will give me piece of mind to know my child isn’t bothering someone else’s meal. when we dine out with friends who have children; it’s rushed, the moms can barely participate in the conversation or eat their meals for that matter, and the adult socialization that we anticipated and looked forward to is gone. we want to visit with our friends, not their children in that setting. if kids are involved we are happy to visit you at your home and share a meal with you there where your kids can be free to play and make noise. i don’t know if you ever read dr. rosemond’s column (he’s a child psychologist, in newspapers) but he shares this same opinion. just google dr. rosemond and restaurant behavior.
I whole-heartedly agree with the tough mom approach above. Don’t change anything. You’re the parent, she’s the child. I was a nanny for several years for kids newborn to 7 years old. I was consistently tougher on them then their parents and found that they consistently listened to me while they still pulled the crying fits and whining with their parents…because it worked. It may be hard for you now, but it’ll make for easier parenting ahead and an overall more considerate, obedient kid for years to come.
Trust me, lay down the hammer. You’ll be glad you did.
I commented above and I guess Im such a softie with my 19 month old, but Im not entirely sure that a 19 month old (mine as well) understands that there is a good reason why they have to sit still and talk quietly at a restaurant. I mean, even with “laying the hammer down” is what they are doing so wrong? I mean, they just learned to walk and express themselves and they want to do it. So, in my opinion, you either go to the restaurant and expect to be taking breaks, entertaining constantly etc, or don’t go. Now if they are 5 and still doing this, yes be strict. But 19 months old? Try takeout 🙂
Totally hear you. However, I think the issue is less about them understanding a complicated situation and more about them understanding who makes the rules. I would also suggest takeout every once in a while. But, I also think that the only way they’ll learn to behave is by teaching them. I think it’s unfair to expect them to just learn it through osmosis…they have to be taught manners at some point…now is as good a time as any 🙂
We went through a period of time around the same age where going to restaurants was difficult and we thought we’d have to stop for awhile. Then it was over as quickly as it came, thank goodness. Hang in there and it will pass.
I always brought a bag of little toys, which helped, but then would break out the iPod touch for emergencies. I used it regularly for a few months for restaurants and grocery trips (never my first option, but it was the only thing that got us through) and then stopped needing to resort to it, which I’m glad about. My son is 3 now and does awesome in restaurants (unless we sit in a booth, which he seems to think is for play). It’s funny thinking how I used to need to have things to entertain him and now I never need anything.
Eddie Bauer has a GREAT travel, pop up booster seat that we use for restaurants. We use the “elephant chair” at home too, and it was huge hit with my daughter, but we use her “big girl restaurant seat” when we’re out and about. Not too hefty to carry around, and it works like a charm. Totally worth the $30 price tag.
I finally watched the vid (usually check the blog at work) and wow, I think you have a baby genius on your hands!! I don’t know many 1.5 year olds that can count to 10 on their own!
We went through the same thing and the only thing that worked for us in restaurants was STICKERS. I bought all kinds of stickers and let her put them in a small notebook. That was our saving grace for meals and church from 16 months-25 months. Now, she can get through a meal with just some crayons or markers. But it gets so much better. It was almost like she switched from ‘we don’t know if we’ll make it through a meal’ to ‘order another drink’ within a few months. Don’t give up! know it gets better!