A tribute to my nana
My nana’s house has been the family hub since before I was born.
After church, we’d go over to nana’s house for breakfast, donuts and coffee, which would turn into nap time, and then into the nighttime parties at her house. Located in historic downtown Tucson, it was one of the very first houses built. When you walked in the doors, you could feel the love in the house.. smell the fresh frijoles and tortillas on the stove, and marvel at all of the family photos, ancient details (wrought iron, crafted by my Tata himself, hidden hallways and wooden ceilings), saints and candles.
When the parties would begin, family would flood through the house and backyard until the middle of the night. The food and drinks would be never-ending, and I’d often fall asleep to the sounds of mariachis and laughter. Even when I was so small, I always knew how special and fun it was at nana’s house.
My nana passed away last week, and we’ve been grieving together and spending time just how she would have loved to see it. We’ve been sitting around a bonfire in the backyard, sipping beers, and playing mariachi music way too loudly. Even though she’s no longer there, I can still picture her coming outside to say “Shhh! Ya sobra! Come inside, it’s too cold.” When we haven’t been outside by the bonfire, we’ve been huddled inside, listening to stories about the “good old days” and making family photo boards to document her beautiful life.
It’s been hard for me to say goodbye to someone I love so much, yet I feel so blessed that I had her in my life for so long, and that Livi got to know her.
I debated writing this post, because I felt like nothing I could say would able to accurately express how beautiful my nana was: her mannerisms; her cooking; her joyful attitude; how warm her hugs felt; how much she loved being surrounded by the family she created; how insanely fun those parties were at her house. I didn’t want to write anything at all, but rather sit in the numbness that I’m feeling, the sadness in my heart, and continue to go one as normally as possible. I haven’t really cried since she passed away, but was sobbing when they took her to the hospital two Saturdays ago.
I was leaving my usual yoga class, and had a missed phone call from my mom to tell me nana had been taken to the hospital. The Pilot already knew what was going on, so he continued to take Liv to a birthday party (where I was originally going to meet them after yoga), and I drove straight to the hospital. When I got there, my heart was broken. Even though it was devastating to see her in pain, we were happy they were going to let her go home and enjoy her last days with family in her own comfy bed. My nana told me not to remember my nana (her mom) like she was in the hospital. She said “remember your happy nana.” I feel her energy with me, and my last yoga class, a week after the hospital incident, it was hard for me to believe how much had changed in that entire week.
We were there the night she passed away, after the U of A basketball game. We left a couple of hours before she peacefully went to another world, at her home, with so many people who loved her. She was the youngest 98… still cracking jokes, scolding us for being loud (even though she loved the noise and laughter), and having dessert first (the family motto), even when she was sick. She knew how loved she was, and while she lived a long and beautiful life, it doesn’t make it any less sad or any easier. I got to hold her hands, kiss her forehead one last time, and tell her how much I love her.
We miss you, nana. For the rest of my life, I’ll carry your energy with me… and pray that I can leave behind a legacy half as beautiful as your own.
5 generations:
137 Comments
Leave a Comment
This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.
Beautiful tribute. I’m sorry for your loss, Gina.
Oh Gina, what a beautiful way to remember your Nana. <3 Thanks for sharing.
So sorry for your loss Gina. I know you and your family are having a hard time, but just know your invisible internet friends are here to support you.
A lovely way to honor such a beautiful soul. Family is gives us depth,acceptance,love and pride. The real riches that money can’t buy
This really hits home for me. My great-grandma will turn 94 on Friday and still is living in the same house she’s been living in for the past 70 years, on the property of the house she was born in (at a time when women didn’t have the right to vote). She has always been my favorite grandparent, and I can’t imagine what it will be like when she’s gone. We just have to focus on how blessed we are that they stuck around for so long. Thinking about you and your family this week.
Siempre juntos! That is what I tell myself when I’m greatly missing my departed loved ones. I lost my sweet little grandma (who was also 98) on Thanksgiving Day last year. It’s been a long, despairing road to travel without my best friend, but I know she is with always with me–and cheering me on–in all things. Love and blessings to you, Gina <3
Such a beautiful tribute to your Nana. Just wanted to share with you one of my favorite quotes:
“Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal. ~ From an Irish headstone”
This is beautiful!
Gina,
I’m so so sorry for your loss. I know how difficult this time is for you and your family. I lost my G’ma (my Mom’s Mother) in June, and my Mother in October – both suddenly. Surrounding yourself with family in this difficult time, as you have been, is the very best thing that you can do. Reflecting on the good times and all the wonderful memories really does help ease the pain. I keep pictures of my Mom and G’ma with me as often as I can. Also, the one thing that has helped me the most is writing letters to them, in a journal. It helps me to feel connected to them, and to express all those feelings that seem impossible to process at times. You and your family are in my prayers.
I’m so sorry for your loss, beautiful words that made me cry! Sending you and your family a HUGE HUGE HUG!
Beautifully written, Gina. She sounded like an amazing woman.
It will be a year in January since I lost my grandmother, and I too felt like we lost the glue to our family. It’s a hard thing to experience, but I am inspired by your forward-thinking spirit as you said “I’ll carry your energy with me… and pray that I can leave behind a legacy half as beautiful as your own.” Thank you.
I’m so sorry for you loss. You and your family will be in my thoughts.
I’m so sorry for your loss. <3 Thank you for sharing some of your memories of her with us.
I’m so sorry for your sadness and your loss. Your nana sounds fabulous. If she was anything like my nana, she would want you to continue to honor her spirit by embodying her fire. Sending you prayers to heal your heart. Big hugs.
It sounds like your nana was a wonderful woman! Such a beautifully written tribute to her. My thoughts and prayers are with your family. xo
I’m very sorry for your loss. Your tribute to her was beautifully written and it is clear you will continue on with her spirit and energy and she would like. She is smiling on you and your family.
So beautiful. Sorry for the loss of your amazing Nana.
I just wanted to say thanks for writing this, my great grandmother — we just called her grandma– passed away 8 years ago. She was the glue of our family and I miss her all the time. Your post today invited me back into memories of her… so thank you for that. I hope your family is all doing well.
Gina and family, I’m so sorry for your loss. What a beautiful tribute and beautiful family. 🙂
I’m so sorry for your loss, Gina. Your Nana sounds like an absolutely beautiful and wonderful person, and your love for her has shown so proudly in so many posts about being at her house. My thoughts and prayers are with your family.
So sorry for your loss. You have such a beautiful family.
She’d be proud to hear the touching words you so beautifully wrote to deplict an amazing woman. Thanks for sharing. So very sorry for your loss!
I’m so sorry to hear that you lost your nana, but so happy to hear you were close with her and truly enjoyed her. Hoping and praying that the rest of the holiday season is filled with warm memories and the making of new ones for you and your family.
So sorry for your loss. You family is in my thoughts and prayers during this difficult time.
Why a touching post. So sorry for your loss!
I’m so sorry for your loss of such a special lady. It doesn’t matter how old we are, I think we always need our grandma’s. She will live on through you and all of the stories you get to tell your children about her. Hugs and prayers to you!
I’m so sorry for your loss Gina! I know how hard it is. Praying for you and your family!
I’m so sad for you Gina, sending you and your family all my love.
Gina,
You captured her spirit by the memories you shared with us today. This post was beautifully written. I’m sorry for your loss.
Thinking of you – your blog friend Gina (from Massachusetts)
Such a beautiful post, Gina! My thoughts are with your family at this time.
What a touching tribute. Your family has been in my prayers. She seems like a wonderful woman who lived a rich, full life.
Beautiful <3
A beautiful tribute. Your nana sounds like she lived a beautiful life and created a beautiful legacy. Only the best in warmth and comfort to you and your family, may your memories fill you with love.
I’m so sorry for your loss, but how wonderful to have gotten to know your great-grandmother so well! Mine both died before I was born, so I only know them from stories and photographs. A 5 generation picture is so rare and amazing!
So sorry for your loss! You shouldn’t have hesitated to write this post, though – you did a beautiful job! Looking at your 5 generation pic, you have some good genes in your fam! 🙂
So sorry for your loss Gina. She sounds like a wonderful and colorful person! Sending lots of love to you guys.
i am so sorry for your loss, gina. this post was really beautiful and it captured just how special your nana truly was. sending you & your family lots of love and prayers. <3 xoxo
Beautiful Gina 🙂 My thoughts and love go to you and your family.
I wanted to say thank you for sharing your story. I remember the picture you took a while ago of the 5 generations and thinking how few of us have a picture like that in our families. During the grieving process, keep thinking of all the good things she added to your life and how those experiences helped to shape you, and how you will now help shape Liv. All the best to you and your family.
Hi Gina, while I love reading your blog I never comment but this has pulled me out if lurk-dom.
I lost my grandfather at the end of November. Like your nana he was 93 and in good health up until the last few weeks when he fell and broke his hip and had to go to hospital. I feel so lucky that I got to 29 without losing anyone close to me and that he was able to be a huge part of my life. Even though I try and think of the positives no one can take away how sad you feel, the tears and the…weirdness…of not having him around. He’s always been there, how can he not be there anymore? It’s been almost a month and I still feel numb, in shock and full of tears, but my family and friends are the best tonic and I know time will heal, but in the meantime you just have to ride the waves of emotion.
It has made realise what a blessing it is to have fantastic grandparents and this is the price you pay to have wonderful family. When I have children I want them to be as lucky to have such a close relationship with their grandparents as I have.
My thoughts and tears are shared with you and your family xx
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. What a special blessing that Your Great Grandmother knew Livi and your spirit can carry on your Nana’s energy and zeal for life as you nurture your family.
So beautiful, Gina. I’m crying at my desk. Lots of love to your family during this time. She sounds like a very special woman. 🙂 I think we would all love to be remembered this way.
Oh sweetie, you just perfectly expressed how beautiful and wonderful she was. This was a beautiful tribute. I am sorry for your loss.
I’m so sorry!
you inspire me a lot in fact I featured you on my blog today I’d LOVE if you’d check it out..
I hope you heal well!
Thank you for sharing your nana with us. We lost my grandfather last January and I truly understand your sadness about the loss despite the long, wonderful life. Sending hugs to you and your family. Hug your baby and your pups, they’re the best medicine for this pain.
Gina! i am so sorry for you loss! You wrote a beautiful tribute to her and the impact she had on your life. Thank you for sharing it with the rest of us, It is nice to peek into your personal world and how you are feeling.
i lost my Grandma a few months ago, i understand your pain. I will be praying for you!
i love your blog-thank you for sharing your life with us.
Sorry for your loss :-/ Your nana is incredibly lucky to have known your little Liv. That’s amazing! Cherish the memories and keep telling stories 🙂
This is beautiful, Gina. May God bless your nana’s soul and bring her peaceful rest 🙂 Praying for you all!
I’m so sorry for your loss. She sounds like an amazing woman.
I’m so sorry for your loss Gina. I’m praying that God draws close to you and your family and comforts you all. She sounds like an amazing woman, thank you so much for sharing your memories.
How beautiful and fortunate to have all 5 generations of women together.
Very well written – glad you wrote it.