Pilot Becomes Dad: My Side of the Birth
Hi everybody. I hope you guys are doing well. As you probably know, Gina’s pretty busy these days, so when I offered to write a post about my perspective on the great day o’birthing, she didn’t argue too much. Well, it was a hell of ride from where I was sitting and I wasn’t even the one on the bed. However, I can’t imagine attempting this journey without being armed with the knowledge and the team that was with us that day.
Going into this whole pregnancy thing, I had no idea what Bradley Method was or…wait. You know what? I didn’t have a clue about childbirth in general. I assumed it would be “9” months (as opposed to the actual “10”) of people rubbing her belly; we would go to a nice restaurant, her water would break, and it’d be a mad-dash to the ER with a head and a foot popping out of her lady parts all the while she would be screaming about how much she hated me for doing this to her. I was thankful for the subtle differences of the actual event.
After 12 weeks of Bradley, I came to understand my coaching role as one that would encourage Gina to safely deliver our baby while advocating for our plan as effectively as possible. I knew I’d have the help of our awesome doula, midwives, and nurses. My confidence was pretty high by the time Gina’s contractions were 5 minutes apart at breakfast (by the way, it felt like she’d been pregnant for so long that contractions would never come at a regular interval to start this thing). I began relying upon what we learned during our classes which allowed me to track her stages of labor and pass that to news of progress to Gina. While she labored at home, I packed our things into the car. I had to stop every few minutes to push down on her lower back during the contractions. We passed the dog off to the madre and made the cautious drive to the hospital.
A couple things surprised me when we got to TMC. First, I was surprised that her contractions didn’t slow down to much (now about 4.5 to 5 minutes apart). Secondly, I anticipated that I would have to immediately be politely aggressive about ensuring our birth plan was met. However, our nurses were completely on board. They were always looking out for our safety; but otherwise, we were allowed the liberty to do what we felt would work best (i.e. wearing pajamas instead of the hospital gown, walking around the hospital to speed up labor, intermittent fetal monitoring, etc.). With that concern all but nullified, I was free to focus on Gina.
I’ll talk about how wonderful I thought the midwives were in just a minute, but let me take this opportunity to talk about the other person that was with Gina the entire time. I couldn’t have done this without the skill and tender actions of our absolutely amazing doula, Tricia. She and I worked as a perfect team. Every time we recognized that Gina progressed to the next change, Tricia and I looked up, smiled, and shared a mental high-five before going back to motivating Gina. During each contraction, Tricia pushed down on Gina’s lower back with a warm compress, and I breathed with Gina to help her cadence while reminding her to exhale in a low moan when the pain was getting to her. I also had a small role in updating the fam via texting my Bro-in-law and occasional visits to the lobby where the Mexican nina fiesta was in full swing.
Laboring went on like that for some time as Gina moved closer and closer to transition. I knew this would be our greatest test. Gina always ensured me that, although she has a low pain tolerance regarding most things, when it came to giving birth she would dial it up and make it happen – well, she made it happen and then some. While she was asking if she as dying or telling us that she’s quitting or leaving, Tricia and I kept telling her she was doing great and she’s going to be through it soon. Gina called up some sort of superhuman pain tolerance and fought through it. We were so happy and congratulatory when transition passed as we neared second stage labor. Of course, we had no idea that the cord was wrapped and that she had 3 more hours of hard work before the pushing began, but we toughed through that, too. It involved a lot of breath control, different laboring positions and me being a human squat bar or partner for those times she didn’t make to the bed or bathroom before another contraction hit.
The only time I felt unsure and a tad worried (except when we realized the cord was wrapped, of course) was when we were 2 1/2 hours into that last portion of labor and the baby’s heart rate wouldn’t accelerate. I chose my words very carefully when talked Gina through each painful 60 second period (often 80 seconds but I didn’t tell her that). I didn’t want to sound repetitive but I did want to make her feel like she was making progress despite feeling like she was stuck in this stage of labor. With some crucial suggestions of the midwives and nurses, we got things moving again, and before we knew it, it was time to push.
Sharon was the midwife on shift, and she went to work. Everyone there had their own unique role interacting with Gina while she pushed. From encouragement to direction – the synchronized efforts kept Gina focused. I was next to Sharon ready to “catch” Olivia on her way out. It was a surreal event to say the least. When her head was fully out and Sharon told Gina that should couldn’t stop pushing so Olivia wouldn’t be in too much distress, I elected to let the professionals work and told Sharon that she’s got the catch. I continued to tell Gina she’s doing great and to breathe deeply when she could (not that she needed it – Gina was on autopilot for the 30 seconds it took to get the rest of the baby out). I cut the cord which had to be done because Livi needed immediate attention. All that was left for me to do as a coach was to keep Gina updated while the nurses were getting Olivia’s heart rate regulated.
I’ve always been proud of my hard-working wife, but after witnessing what she did to bring little Olivia into the world, I have a new hero. She showed so much strength – I’m inspired beyond words and often bring up the fact that I can’t believe she did so well. We would be just as happy to be parents if she was delivered any other way, but it was nice to see something worked out to plan. Now the adventure’s really getting started, and I can’t wait to see what the future holds for our family. Hope you enjoyed reading this. We’ll see you soon.
Cheers,
Tom
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Aweeeeeeee. omg. I loved hearing Tom’s side. I can’t (okay I can) wait to have a baby. I have always admired my parents for raising me, and you are in for such a wonderful journey. xoxo!
I couldn’t help but to laugh aloud at the water breaking at the restaurant part. I always picture myself working up until that happens to me, when I ever I decide to get pregnant (which is hilarious because I’m a high school teacher). I guess the bottom line is you can’t predict anything from conception to birth!
So beautiful. Thank you for sharing these moments with us! Gina is a rockstar, and Pilot you sure are too. I’m glad you have expanded your little family, and can’t wait to hear more about Livi!
absolutely beautiful, tom. THANKS FOR MAKING ME CRY! 😛 just kidding, you two are going to be the most amazing parents to olivia. i am so happy for you two, and happy for bella now that she has another cuddle companion! thank you again for sharing the journey. it is very touching to follow your adventures 🙂
🙂 I loved hearing Tom’s story because I am sure most men have no clue what they are getting themselves into! And I think you both did an amazing job 😉
Aww..that was so moving! You have a beautiful family. Congratulations!
I’m tearing up! Love it 🙂
awesome! very awesome to hear a man’s perspective
Yall are such an inspirational couple! I’m so happy for your growing family!
Tom, your words have me sniffling. Your love for Gina shines brilliantly in this post!!
Amazing! This post brought tears to my eyes, such an amazing little family 🙂
Awww so nice of Tom to share his experience and write a post. Sending this to my husband! 😉
Loved reading this Tom. You made me laugh and cry. You two are such amazing parents already. Little Olivia is very blessed.
I really need to quit reading these posts at work. I’m the fool crying in my cubicle now…
Gina, you found yourself a good one. Lately all of your posts seem to make me teary-eyed, and this one is no exception.
What an amazing husband you have. The love and respect you two share for one another is truly beautiful to watch. You guys are going to be wonderful parents!!!!!!
That was beautiful! I hope things are settling down for you all now! Enjoy this time with your new little daughter! She is beautiful! And you guys did an awesome job! I am so glad it all worked out according to your plan!
AWWWWW!
Amazing, thanks for sharing.
Love this post, Pilot Dad! What a wild ride! So interesting to here your side of it all. Your baby is so adorable, Congrats!
Very well written! Ya’ll have a beautiful family and a whole lotta love! Little Livi is going to be so loved!
So nice to hear the story from the pilot’s point of view!
You guys are just fabulous. Love this.
Bawwllinggg Tom, baallling right now. Amazing story from both perspectives! BIG HUGS!
SO SWEET! You both are amazing people and parents! Olivia is blessed for sure!
Im so happy fro you both and for the journey of parenthood you both have ahead!
Tom wrote an amazing side to your story. You are truly blessed to have such an incredible and supportive partner. It makes a huge difference BEYOND labor and delivery 🙂 There will be times you doubt yourself and he will build you up. Congratulations!
you’re right- i’m very lucky <3
Very interesting to hear things from the dad’s point of view! And Tom couldn’t be any sweeter or more complimentary! Mazel!*
Wow! Thank you so much for sharing Tom, it is always so neat to get the guys perspective! I am glad there were not any near passing out moments for you!
Great post! What a great husband & daddy your family has.
A slight misconception – pregnancy *is* actually 9 months long. The 40 weeks that are quoted start 2 weeks before conception.. and a month is longer than 4 weeks.
As example, I conceived on Jan 28th and had the bubba on November 1st, 10 days overdue. That’s 9 months + 4 days!
LOVED hearing his side of the birth – so awesome to hear what he had to say!
I loved hearing Tom’s perspective on Olivia’s birth story!! I am far from having children of my own but I think this was such a great idea and will have to force my future husband to write his side of the story down when that day comes!
I loved reading the other side of the story! Thanks so much for sharing. You guys make a great team — and clearly, beautiful babies, too. 🙂
Thanks for making me tear up! Olivia is so blessed to have you both for parents!
AWWW!!! GREAT JOB TO YOU BOTH!!
That was beautiful, such a special memory for you both to have forever with the two birth stories! Thanks for taking the time to fill us in, as a mum-in-waiting (38 weeks in!) I really appreciate you sharing this special experience. I wonder if I could get my husband to write such an eloquent account!! Fingers crossed. PS Beautiful picture of Gina and Olivia, you guys are also going to have a rockin’ photo album!!
Thank you for sharing this! I was just saying yesterday how I was hoping you would share your side with us.
You’re a lucky woman! Loved reading the other side. 🙂
Very lucky indeed 🙂
Annnnd I’m weeping. Beautifully written, Tom!
What a thoughtful and well-written post! Loved hearing the husband’s point of view. So sweet 🙂
So sweet! I love hearing your perspective too! But whoever tells it….I know the whole process must have been amazing and incredibly memorable for everyone involved!!
Awe Tom,,,I loved hearing from you,and by the way Congratulations you proud PaPa!
Mad props to you Tom–you two set a great example for the rest of us on how to do this whole kid thing as a team 🙂
Totally teared up a bit. What a beautiful family =) So happy for u guys!!!
I think everyone reading this will bookmark the post to show their men. They will hate you for setting the bar so high. 😀
booo hooo hoooo!!! OMG that made me cry!!!! What a sweet side of the story!
V.cool 🙂 must be something about those military men that keeps them calm and focused in stressful situations. I’m happy to hear the hospital was on board with your plan. Our naval hospital out here isn’t especially natural birth friendly so I switched just to avoid any issues. Glad you both had a good experience and a happy healthy baby to enjoy in the end.
So cool to hear the birth story from Tom’s perspective! Sounds like he did a great job too 🙂
Thanks for sharing the daddy side of the story too! As a soon to be married woman – and therefore trying to glean as much marriage advice as possible – I cherish the image of loving teamwork that you two exemplify in both of your perspectives of the birth story. It was truly moving and what a joyful home that little Olivia will grow up in! 🙂 (My fiance says I’m not allowed to read any more birth stories after he had to pause the movie he was watching to figure out why I had started crying next to him on the couch – haha!)
Just yesterday I was wishing that there were more birth/pregnancy stories from the Dad’s perspective…so this was great to read, thanks so much!
OMG I loved hearing the pilots side of birth. I’ve always wondered what it would be like for the husband. You are very lucky to have him by your side and throughout everything else! What an awesome guy! 🙂
You two are such a precious couple. Olivia is a very lucky lady, indeed.