Snoozing on the job
Meet Exhibit A of our breastfeeding woes:
The Milk Queen, sleeping atop her Boppy throne
So, posting about breastfeeding is a personal thing and TMI city, but I’ve been writing about it in hopes that it may help someone who encounters a similar situation, and open the doors to talk about it, since it’s one of those things that isn’t often discussed. I had no idea breastfeeding would be challenging. It’s one of those things that you always see people doing –heck, my mom did it for myself and my brothers- and it never looks like a big deal. Ok, the baby is eating. The mom isn’t awkwardly trying to get the baby to latch, baby isn’t shaking its head in frustration at one side.. it looks like a natural and easy thing.
One of the lactation consultants who came to visit said that breastfeeding is like riding a bike, except you don’t learn how to do it until you’re an adult. You see everyone else riding a bike, and it looks so easy. And then, as an adult, someone hands you a bike and says "here ya go” and you’re supposed to figure it all out. It’s not an intuitive thing, and one that takes quite a bit of practice.
The good news is that we’ve gotten into our groove as far as latching and positioning goes, but once again, Liv doesn’t want anything to do with my right side. She did great for about a day, but it ended up being a fluke. I still offer it to her, and sometimes she’ll try for 5 minutes or so before she gets frustrated. I’ve tried everything- switching her from the left to the right, keeping her in the same position to “trick” her into thinking it’s the left, sitting her almost upright, offering it to her first every time, pumping beforehand… still, she doesn’t want it. I can’t say I blame her though. Righty produces way less than what lefty does, all because of my previous surgery. I heard the other ducts were supposed to make up for the ducts that were removed, but it hasn’t happened. This morning, I pumped 5 oz from my left, and barely 1 from my right :/
So I’m primarily feeding from my left side and a bottle. I’m lopsided, I hate pumping, but Liv is gaining weight and doing extremely well so far, so I’m sticking with it.
After every feeding session, I pump both sides (right a little longer than the left) to encourage higher production and to have hindmilk for the snooze queen (more on that in a sec), and today, I gave myself my first break from the dreaded pump. I’ve only pumped twice, and will pump one more time tonight. Thank goodness there’s plenty in the fridge to top her off throughout the rest of the day and evening.
Back to Exhibit A, Liv falls asleep pretty much every time she nurses. She’ll be there for about 20 minutes or so, and instead of telling me she’s full, her eyes roll to the back of her head and she crashes out. One of two things will happen: she’ll wake up and be perfectly content to play until she naps again, or she’ll nap for about 20-30 minutes, wake up and still be hungry. This is why I’ve been pumping so much- if she keeps eating snacks throughout the day, she’ll mostly get foremilk, which is more like the “thirst quencher.” The hindmilk after that is much more nutrient-dense. So I pump, and if she’s still hungry a little while later, she gets a bottle of pumped milk. If she would stay awake and keep drinking, then the pumping could be eliminated.
I’ve tried everything to keep her awake…
I sing “wake up, wake up” and stroke her cheek, I rub her back, we undress her down to her diaper (our current motto is “wakey, wakey or we’ll get you nakey”) and most of the time, she still crashes out. I never know if she’ll wake up in a little while content and ready to play, or still hungry.
Any tricks or tips?
Anyone else lopsided from side preference?
Lesson of the day: don’t blog and pump.
Yikes. Haha.
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Your shoe pic brought back so many memories … SO many of us were pregnant together at work and later pumping together … and we’d compare how much tipped, spilled, etc … we’d literally cry over our spilled milk. Every mL is precious!!
Pumping sucks … I definitely don’t miss it. But the good part about it is your hubby can help with some of the feedings; that helps a ton!
My baby boy is a little older than Livi (1/1/12), but we are having the same problem…except I stopped pumping because i thought we were all clear in week 3 and am now having to rebuild my supply. Not fun. He doesn’t have a side preference and we weaned off a nipple shield successfully, but my LC says he’s a “lazy nurser” and should grow out of it. In the meantime, I’m not getting much when I pump post-nursing (I have a Medela Pump In Style Advanced), which is frustrating because we have to supplement with formula. Hang in there.
My son was a lazy nurser too – he always fell asleep at the breast. He is now 6 months and has definitely grown out of it (grew out of it around 4 months I’d say). Keep it up, you’re doing great!
Breastfeeding has been really hard for me, too. My baby is 10 weeks and she’s always had trouble latching on. She cries and cries and cries before she’ll even give it a try. It was really hard for me, but I eventually made the decision to exclusively pump. I pump every 4 hours during the day and once overnight. We’re both happier this way and my life is a million times less stressful. Maybe this is an option for you?
My son wanted nothing to do at ALL with nursing for the first ten weeks…I pumped exclusively and bottle fed. So I know your frustrations. :/ I almost have up and at ten weeks he decided he didn’t want to eat out of a bottle anymore and I was more relaxed and had ‘forgiven’ myself for ‘failing’. It was more of a last ditch effort to get him to eat… I used a nipple shield to make the transition, and I would nurse him in the dark in a relaxing, quiet room at every feeding. It was rough, but I’m so glad I hung in there…I nursed until he was 16 months (at that point just to put him to sleep. I’ve heard of people who had twins and nursed each baby exclusively on one breast. So, I think it can be done! You’re doing great! You are the ‘Livi Expert!!’ 🙂
a cold cloth on his face used to keep my first son awake when he got sleepy!
My sister had a real problem with being lopsided which she eventually had to have surgically corrected. She was a real go with the flow breastfeeder so didn’t think it was a big issue until after she had stopped! Turned into a bit of a nightmare for her.
alex always preferred the left side over the right until (after a little suggestion from my husband) i started doing the football hold on the right. then he nursed pretty even on both sides. he also started falling asleep while nursing and i think a lot of that led to our sleep problems. but i think i encouraged a lot of it. i realized he would sleep longer if he nursed to sleep so i started doing that but it definitely backfired after the first couple of months because that was the only way he would go to sleep and wanted to nurse back to sleep if he woke up during the night and also because he wasn’t getting the fatty hind milk which would keep him satisfied longer. oh, the learning curve of the first kiddo. or maybe i’m the only one that has to learn the hard way 😉 the one thing i LOVED about him nursing to sleep was the resulting milk-drunk baby sleeping on my lap.
Hey Gina,
This is a good website about breastfeeding http://www.kellymom.com/, it came in very handy when my daughter was born.
I sing “wake up, wake up” too. Try sitting her up and vigorously burping her – it works every time for my son. My right is a low producer too – i only ever get 1-2 oz and I’ve tried it all from continuous pumping to herbs and continuing to offer it to him. Even if they only suck for a bit each feeding off that side it helps remind “righty” what she is working so hard for!
You are doing a great job – and hopefully you won’t have to pump so much soon!
Wyatt literally slept his first 3 weeks of life. We had the hardest time keeping the little guy awake to eat. We did everything you tried + putting ice cubes on his feet, blowing on his face, and letting the dog lick the top of his head. The ONLY thing that worked was making him do baby sit-ups, as suggested by our lactation consultant. You put baby in a seat position in your lap, support her neck from the front and back, and literally make her do sit-ups. They scared Wyatt so much that he’d wake up. I hated scaring him, but not having him eat was much more frightening.
Hang in there. You’re doing great <3
ahh the dreaded pump! I pumped exclusively for my first daughter for 8 months and juuuust yesterday pumped for the last time for my, today, 1 year old (exclusively pumped for her for 7 months)! It is EXHAUSTING, so i totally feel ya! Hindmilk, foremilk, it drove me nuts! its the type A personality in us trying to make sure theyre getting everything they need, keep your supply up, make sure theyre gaining weight! i just never understood my friends who were no nonchalant about it all, saying ‘oh they’ll eat when theyre hungry…’ i’d be like ‘AHH but if she doesnt eat for 20 min on each side she wont get hindmilk, and wont be full, then she’ll be awake sooner to eat, then i’ll be feeding all day and have sore nipples, and, and, and…’! I was having the same problems you were so instead i just went to exclusively pumping so i wasnt essentially feeding twice by nursing and pumping afterwards! It got easier as i went to set times of pumping 4x a day but even that is a huge commitment! But i wanted my babies to have breastmilk for their first year! You sound like you are doing a fantastic job as tiring as it all is! One thing i would do is massage my ()() down towards the nipple to get the milk to go into her mouth faster (the one she was currently feeding from) when she would fall asleep, it would wake her a bit and she would start sucking, even if it was in her sleep! Good luck hon!
oh and feeding on one side can totally be done! it is with twins all the time! I had a very good friend who only produced milk from one side! Sher also had some surgery when she was young! She is bfing her 3rd child right now! She got some insert she wears in her bra for the non-nursing side so she doenst look lopsided if that is the way you need to go, there are options!
We had a hard time keeping the twins awake to eat when they were tiny. It gets better when they start being more awake and alert. But we would keep them cooler, so less clothes for feeding time, strip them down to a onesie, shift them around a bit every few minutes, and take breaks to burp and burp them away from us, so not on our shoulders, we’d hold them out and sit them on our knees so it was less cozy and would usually wake them up a bit, then back to feeding they’d go. Hope something helps! 🙂
You’re doing great! Thanks for sharing. And love that last shot 🙂
I just have to say you are doing AWESOME, and as an NICU nurse that watches a lot of struggling nursing moms, I really, really admire your commitment.
Hang in there! You’re doing great. As long as Livi is happy & healthy, there is nothing more you can ask for. 🙂
My daughter used to do the same thing. She would be “intoxicated” by my milk or a bottle. I didn’t want her napping and realized I had to be pretty aggressive with my wakey attempts. I used to wet a washcloth and touch it to her feet. If all else failed I would set her down and she would usually wake up just from that. It made me feel bad to wake her, but she would have snacked all day if I hadn’t. 😉
No real tips, just want to say I’m proud of you and think you’re doing an amazing job! I was a nurser and pumper the whole time I breastfed, so I know how you feel. Bronwen was a very lazy nurser and the only thing that worked for her was tickling her armpit. She did grow out of that though, so hopefully by next month this won’t be an issue 🙂
Nursing is the hardest thing, and the best thing; it’s a natural function but it doesn’t come “naturally” to many. Don’t I know. As I pumped for 2+ years. The process is wonderful when it works, and often heart-breaking or at the very least extremely exhausting, when it doesn’t work. Because of how passionate I became about it,, and my own challenges, this is why I became a lactation educator.
Tips for keeping her awake, I don’t care if she screams, hates you, cries bloody murder, strip her down, all the way naked if that’s what it means to get her good and fired up and keep her awake. She’s too comfy and cozy. She’s warm, with a semi-full belly, she’s all content and is just drifting off.. so you need to do something to keep her awake.
Playfully tickling her, waving her arm up and down, saying her name, that could work, but I doubt it is for you. Usually a climate change will work 🙂
And I’d pump before I feed her for 10 mins or so. Take off that foremilk and bottle that. That way when she does get to the breast, the flow will be a little slower, the milk will be fattier, and I think that strategy may help, too. And you can still pump afterward, but let her get the fattier milk from the tap, and bottle feed the rest.
Good luck, hang in there; I was in your shoes….and it’s not easy!
xo
Sounds like you are doing an amazing job – she is gaining weight and doing all the right things, what more could you ask for! Sorry I have nothing to offer yet… still waiting for my little bundle, 9 days overdue (although my due date was always iffy and by the second date, a mere 3 days over!). But I sure have been soaking up all of your newborn advice in advance, I think you’re doing wonderfully and love the honest accounts of everything xo
If it is a recent-ish thing, it could just be the inevitable tiredness after the 3/4 week growth spurt. MY babies both slept for what seemed like an entire week after they had a growth spurt.
This may sound all “lalala” but the days are long now. This too shall pass. It is hard. In a few days her stamina will start to increase and it will feel better. You are doing a great job and she will thrive. She is thriving. All the stages go fast at this point, you will think you can’t figure it out and then everything will work great…you will think you have everything figured out and it will change again with a new puzzle. Livi will be strong, smart, beautiful and loved. You are doing everything right. Averie @ Love Veggies and Yoga knows what she is talking about, listen to her 🙂
Hailey used to fall asleep at the boob early on. I’d blow in her face, get her down to her diaper or keep a cool wet rag nearby to put on the back of her neck. It sounds cruel, but it would wake her up to finish eating. If she kept getting sleepy, I’d pull her off and play with her. I didn’t want her to get n the habit of falling asleep while nursing, so I never let her. It actually worked out really well. If she was super sleepy, I’d let her nap, but not on me. Good luck with getting that beautiful little Livi to stay awake!
It’s possible someone has already mentioned this, I haven’t read all the comments, but what works for us is stroking her feet or palms. Our girl fell asleep a lot as well, totally normal, as she gets older and more alert she will try harder to stay awake while eating. Things get more interesting every day! Good luck!
The LC at the hospital told me to rub the back part of his jaw bone (kind of underneath his ear), and that would wake him up enough to keep eating. It worked for us! Sometimes I’d have to do it for most of a feeding, but he’d stay up to finish.
I certainly a feel your pain, I’ve had my fair share of breastfeeding struggles also. I hope it gets better for you, stick with it. You are doing great! I pumped exclusively for 5 months and it was torture. There’s a lot that goes into why that happened but the second time around we were able to figure out the dealio. Have you talked to any La Leche League leaders? They generally are the most helpful!!! We saw 3 different lactation consultants before we finally were pointed to the best LLL leader and she helped us more than anyone! I was able to breastfeed my little boy exclusively until he was a year and we’re still going now that he’s 16 months and I’m even pregnant! I never would have thought that could happen, just shows what sticking with it will do for you! We learned a lot and a couple of the biggest things were about juicing and eating the heck out of greens! Green lemonade and carrot juice produced so much rich milk and carrot juice gave me more hind milk which helped my ratios. Previously, I was foremilk heavy. Natalia Rose wasn’t kidding when she said greens, greens, greens for milk production! I even have significant hormone problems that kept me from producing before and the juice and greens completely made up for that! The other thing that helped were healthy plant fats ~avocado, coconut oil, coconut butter, nuts and plant oils were huge! That all did more for me than anything else I tried, including fenugreek! You can get on the LLL website and find a leader in your area OR if you are interested, you can email me or just reply to this comment and I’ll email you the contact information for the leader who was able to help us. She is well known among the LLL community, very knowledgeable and is also a lactation consultant. She is great and will be able to help you over the phone as well as point you to the best local option for you! She’s amazing! Nursing for 20-30 minutes should give her more than enough time to get the hindmilk so don’t worry about that. She’s probably also using you as a pacifier, babies need that constant suckling and one on one. (It’s exhausting!) I know it’s hard, but try not to stress about your right side. Keep putting her on it, even if she doesn’t like it. Eventually you’ll be able to train her to eat where she needs to at the time. I would put her on the right side more, maybe feed her on the left then feed her on the right like normal. Then the next time she is hungry, head straight for the right side. You can pump the left to relieve it especially if you are used to feeding on that side. Your milk supply will stay strong. Her sucking on the right will do more for your production than the pump. Stress is a big production stopper. Even if it’s minor stress just because you know she doesn’t like that side or you know you hate to pump, etc, it will effect your supply. When you do feed her on the right, try to do something really soothing and after a while it WILL get better. Just keep positive about it and your body will compensate. Definitely feed her more often on the right though! Maybe take another trip the chiropractor just to make sure all is well. It’s so awesome that you are in this bloggin position to get the support from so many other moms! Support is huge!
Yes, I’ve very lucky to get such amazing advice and support 🙂
Breastfeeding IS hard. I respect and admire you for keeping at it!
Breastfeeding is hard! My first 6 weeks were the most difficult and now I’m one of those moms that just makes it look easy. It’s took a few months though and now Ella can latch herself which is awesome! you’ll get there. She’s always preferred my left side, but I try to make a point to put her on the right side first, every time. Sometimes she’s go with it, others she won’t.
As far as sleeping going, we used to have to tickle her feet to get her to wake up. That and play with her hands a lot.
Oh, that first 2 days home from the hospital nursing. Cracked, bleeding nipples. Once I got past the first two weeks, I made past one learning curve to come to another. Both my children preferred the right breast when they were nursing. I was worried with my first child, he wasn’t getting enough milk. But he was. The body knows and just keeps filling up the right-side, and the left -side stayed as it. No pain or gorging. It levelled off after awhile. It’ll still be slightly lop-sided, but not too much.
My daughter was always sleepy. I would try to dress her loosely so she wasn’t so warm and snug.
Once they got to their first birthdays, they were eating solids, along with breast milk. Breast milk was no longer their primary source of nutrients. I nursed both of them til they were 2.5yrs old. At that age, it was more of a routine and bonding time for them. I wasn’t ready to let it go myself. But had to anyway.
My son will be 8; my daughter will be 5 next week. Those early years were truly magical for me as a mom.
Avery used to fall asleep in the middle of every feeding. So I was advised by another new mom to change her diaper after the first side, since that’s when she would zonk out. It didnt inconvenience me at all since she would need changing so often anyway. Worked like a charm.
Rub the back of her head. My son was notorious for falling asleep. The only thing that would keep him awake (and slightly irritated) was to rub the back of his head. It isn’t soothing to them, go figure. Best of luck. I struggled so much with BF. It works itself out.
We used to take her clothes off, like you do… I think we tickled her feet also. My daughter is 2 now and you’d think I’d remember everything, but honestly I can’t remember that much of that time period (I blame lack of sleep). I can tell you it goes fast!
She is seriously the sweetest little thing I’ve ever seen!
Hang in there with the breastfeeding. I’ve never done it myself (yet), but my best friend had a baby last year and had some of your same issues. Eventually it seemed to all work itself out for you. Here’s hoping for you too!
Haha that last photo is awesome. My friend just had her baby and was having a similar issue in that her breastfeeding was very lopsided. What was interesting is she found when she pumped the side that the baby was not feeding from was pumping way more than the other side, so it did end up balancing itself out, funnily enough! She is also about to see a lactation consultant and I told her you had good things to say about them!
Not a mom yet, so I have nothing to input. Except that the picture of Olivia is absolutely adorable. <3
Keep up the good work momma. 😉
What a great shot….a darling of a face! Congratulations…Olivia resembles her dad a lot! Babies need to sleep as much as possible….that’s when they grow and the magic happens! There will come a time when you will want your toddler to nap all afternoon…lol! All the best with the gift of motherhood…
Cathy
I used a cold damp wash cloth and would rub it on my daughter’s face anytime she started to fall asleep while nursing. I also only nursed from one breast each feeding. That way she got the fore milk and hind milk and my milk production evened out. I breast fed for an entire year this way and it worked for us. Good luck!!! You’re doing great!!!
Those first weeks are hard, our little one was gaining back slowly at first and the dr. wanted me to wake her every 2 hours to eat (I literally felt like she was attached to me constantly) and she was usually so sleepy when I would do that, that she would often fall right back asleep. That coupled with the weak latch she had to start made for some difficult moments. Luckily, that seems like eons ago, it gets better. I also have been thinking about you when it comes to the whole lack of production on one side. I feed our little girl from both sides every session, because my one side produces less than half of what the other one does. I just alternate from which side I start from and she seems to get enough then total each time. It can be a pain, but we have never had any foremilk imbalance problems that way and she often spits up so I know she is totally full haha. And I agree, I am so over the pumping, I do it once before bed each night and 3 times on the days I work and am away from her. I keep telling myself I am just so glad she is just getting my breastmilk, because boy is it annoying to clean the parts so often!
Hang in there! I excpected my daughter to pop out and breastfeed like a champ -but not such luck! She was tongue tied so she could not latchand they had to clip it which is no big deal but by that time she was 2 weeks old and did not associate nuring with eating! I got her to latch by nursing her in the tub ( it calmed her down and made her able to latch) 5x a day and pumping every 3 hours. Once she started associating nursing with food I transitioned out of the tub. It was EXHAUSTING and insane- but I am happy to say she is now 6 months and is a pro! We still have to supplement with 1-2 bottles of formula a day becaise I am back at work and no matter how hard I try I never pump enough milk, but to me thats better than nothing. Hang in there there is a light at the end of the tunnel!
I feel your pain. Our four-week old (as of today!) likes to fall asleep nursing, and then wake up crying when we try to move him (we’ve given up trying to get him to sleep in the crib). Then he’ll need to nurse himself to sleep again. Sometimes he’ll only go for 5 minutes in the middle of the night and act like he’s done. Plus he had a couple bad latches in the beginning and I got fissures as a result. Ouch! I’ve been pumping a few times a day and doing a couple bottles of formula too to give myself a break. The pump is annoying! I have the same one you do and I feel like I’m constantly cleaning it. I wish I got 5 oz from one side though! I usually get around 3 total :S. Hang in there! We’ve been telling ourselves, “every day gets a little better” and thankfully it does! I can’t wait for the mythical six week mark when things are supposed to get awesome :).
thats what i say too: just make it through one more day
I have a friend who’s baby would only nurse from one side and she eventually just gave up and it was 100% one side with no issues whatsoever. Lefty produced enough for her to breastfeed for at least a year, maybe longer. Not sure about the lop sidedness, but I never noticed, so maybe that’s a good sign! 😉
Hey girl, I have no awesome tips or tricks for you.
But I do want to offer you a bit of encouragement.
I think it’s awesome that you’re trying to continue breastfeeding.
I know breastmilk is best and all that .
But, if, for whatever reason, you feel the need to give it up, or things just don’t work out like you plan, don’t beat yourself up over it.
I have 2 healthy boys who were only breastfed for the first 6 weeks.
I tried really hard to do better at it with my 2nd child, and I did, but it just wasn’t for me.
I would feed, pump, feed, pump, etc etc. My entire LIFE consisted of breastfeeding and I didn’t feel like I could be a good mom while being chained to that pump all the time.
Once I stopped it took so much pressure off of me and I was able to have a life again.
I’m not saying you should quit.
I’m saying it is a personal decision and you have done great thus far!
Whether you stick with it or not doesn’t matter. You are a good mom regardless of if you breastfeed or not.
Just wanted to throw that out there. 🙂
thank you <3
i only pumped 3 times yesterday and twice so far today.. it's been so nice to give myself a little break
my daughter(first child, now 7) didn’t like the left and after she stopped breastfeeding my right nipple looks way different then my left, i know tmi, but she latched on the left first and she still didn’t like it. My son, 3 months old was the same, but i think with him it was because how different they were after having my daughter the right was easier for him to latch on… my son stop breastfeeding at 6 weeeks, my production slowed way down and then he was allergic to something i was eating and he’s also allergic to cow’s milk so we both kinda gave up 🙁
My is son is now 3 and a half weeks old. Early on he often fell asleep while nursing. Lightly blowing on his face seemed to work to encourage him to perk up a bit and nurse more.
I don’t have any kids yet, so I’m not speaking from personal experience, but the IBCLC at my work says it is phenomenal if a mom manages to pump even 1-2 oz. because the pump is not nearly as effective as the baby is. Livi is probably getting even more milk than you think she is. It sounds like you are doing a great job! I love that you post about real life on here and not just the parts that go nice and smoothly. It is encouraging and I think that all of the experience and knowledge you have passed on will be very helpful to me when I start having kids. Thanks!
When I first saw that picture, I thought it was a design on your shoe that was supposed to be there! It looks kind of stylish to me.
Also, your baby is gorgeous.
thank you, sandi 🙂