Snoozing on the job
Meet Exhibit A of our breastfeeding woes:
The Milk Queen, sleeping atop her Boppy throne
So, posting about breastfeeding is a personal thing and TMI city, but I’ve been writing about it in hopes that it may help someone who encounters a similar situation, and open the doors to talk about it, since it’s one of those things that isn’t often discussed. I had no idea breastfeeding would be challenging. It’s one of those things that you always see people doing –heck, my mom did it for myself and my brothers- and it never looks like a big deal. Ok, the baby is eating. The mom isn’t awkwardly trying to get the baby to latch, baby isn’t shaking its head in frustration at one side.. it looks like a natural and easy thing.
One of the lactation consultants who came to visit said that breastfeeding is like riding a bike, except you don’t learn how to do it until you’re an adult. You see everyone else riding a bike, and it looks so easy. And then, as an adult, someone hands you a bike and says "here ya go” and you’re supposed to figure it all out. It’s not an intuitive thing, and one that takes quite a bit of practice.
The good news is that we’ve gotten into our groove as far as latching and positioning goes, but once again, Liv doesn’t want anything to do with my right side. She did great for about a day, but it ended up being a fluke. I still offer it to her, and sometimes she’ll try for 5 minutes or so before she gets frustrated. I’ve tried everything- switching her from the left to the right, keeping her in the same position to “trick” her into thinking it’s the left, sitting her almost upright, offering it to her first every time, pumping beforehand… still, she doesn’t want it. I can’t say I blame her though. Righty produces way less than what lefty does, all because of my previous surgery. I heard the other ducts were supposed to make up for the ducts that were removed, but it hasn’t happened. This morning, I pumped 5 oz from my left, and barely 1 from my right :/
So I’m primarily feeding from my left side and a bottle. I’m lopsided, I hate pumping, but Liv is gaining weight and doing extremely well so far, so I’m sticking with it.
After every feeding session, I pump both sides (right a little longer than the left) to encourage higher production and to have hindmilk for the snooze queen (more on that in a sec), and today, I gave myself my first break from the dreaded pump. I’ve only pumped twice, and will pump one more time tonight. Thank goodness there’s plenty in the fridge to top her off throughout the rest of the day and evening.
Back to Exhibit A, Liv falls asleep pretty much every time she nurses. She’ll be there for about 20 minutes or so, and instead of telling me she’s full, her eyes roll to the back of her head and she crashes out. One of two things will happen: she’ll wake up and be perfectly content to play until she naps again, or she’ll nap for about 20-30 minutes, wake up and still be hungry. This is why I’ve been pumping so much- if she keeps eating snacks throughout the day, she’ll mostly get foremilk, which is more like the “thirst quencher.” The hindmilk after that is much more nutrient-dense. So I pump, and if she’s still hungry a little while later, she gets a bottle of pumped milk. If she would stay awake and keep drinking, then the pumping could be eliminated.
I’ve tried everything to keep her awake…
I sing “wake up, wake up” and stroke her cheek, I rub her back, we undress her down to her diaper (our current motto is “wakey, wakey or we’ll get you nakey”) and most of the time, she still crashes out. I never know if she’ll wake up in a little while content and ready to play, or still hungry.
Any tricks or tips?
Anyone else lopsided from side preference?
Lesson of the day: don’t blog and pump.
Yikes. Haha.
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try rubbing a little more vigorously under her chin. It sounds mean, but it’s effective. It also encourages the suck reflex. I have a peculiar nursing problem, my boobs work fine if your a babe, but not so much for a machine. I’ve never been able to pump more than 2 oz at a time. It blows. If I ever do this again, I may buy a different pump. I hear good things about the simplisse.
what about renting a hospital pump??
I second this! I ended up buying a used hospital grade pump (since they are over $1k new) and the thing is amazing – I pump at least 3x more with it than the dinky pump I received as a shower gift!
Thanks for being honest. Bf’ing is my latest research and makes me nervous. I’m 35 weeks and know it’s about to start soon. Just want to try to have a strategy before of feeding and when to pump.
Ha ha uh oh! Cute shoes though lol You are doing such a great job Gina. I am not a mom, but you inspire me to be the best one I can be some day. You really do give all that you can to your daughter and she is lucky to have such a caring mother! 🙂
Oh she looks like a little angel! How sweet. I hope the breastfeeding process starts going more smoothly for you – you’re trying so hard! At first I thought you had camo-print shoes, haha 🙂
Caleb has the same problem so I was told to flick his forehead (can’t bring myself to do this one haha), press his collarbone, tickle his feet or get one of those teethers where you fill with an ice cube and rub it on his cheek or forehead when he starts dozing. So far all of the above have worked.
As for pumping, my left produces less than my right. It’s completely normal to have lopsided boobs. I’ll get 5oz from my right and like 1 or 2 from my left if I’m lucky. Pumping just freaking sucks.
We called this “milk drunk”. She would get so cozy and and little in her belly and was like a frat boy on a Friday night – out! No clues how to keep them awake. We did the nakey thing, ran a fan on us to annoy her. Good luck! It’s only been a month, something will work! It’s all good, she doesn’t know what’s right or wrong, she just really likes you to get the comfy! I love her little curled hand! <3
Also, it took me a second to figure out what’s up with your shoes haha. I was like, “why is she showing us camo flats?” lol!
I thought camo flats too! 🙂
Same! Haha!
You’re doing great, G! It sounds like bf has definitely been a lot of work for you. But yet, you know the benefits and you just keep working at it. I’m sorry I can’t help you more (perhaps with tips that could actually HELP you ; ) ), but I just wanted to let you know how good you’re doing.
I’ve heard that you’re supposed to play with their feet to keep them awake! 🙂
Such cute shoes! I’m only 28 weeks pregnant, and honestly, I’ avoiding reading too much about breastfeeding just yet, because it already stresses me out! SO much to learn!
I completely understand the whole “riding a bike” thing. I thought breastfeeding would come natural and I would just KNOW how to do it. Bahahaha. Yeah. Right. When the nurse handed me my daughter the first time to feed her I swear I looked like a deer facing headlights. It was so UNnatural at first. It took us a couple weeks to catch our groove 🙂
Also … my right side actually produces way less than my left too. I offer it to Emmalyne every time and she eats but when I pump a substantially less amount comes out. BUT we are 4 months in now and she’s still growing like a week so I guess all is well! Just thought you’d find that interesting!
And there’s a lot of things you shouldn’t pump and do … I have spilled milk SO many times haha. And every time I am like DANG IT that milk is like GOLD haha. Thanks for sharing!
Is she still sucking when she’s sleeping? They can doze if they’re still feeding? I had a friend in a similar position and she said renting the hospital grade pumps made all the difference. Might be worth a try. Good luck and keep up the great work!!
I’m 12 months in and still lopsided. I think for me its anatomical… baby boy could never get as much out of one side, (the other side was like a fire hose) so never fed for as long, so I never got any more supply. Odd thing is Ive been exclusively pumping for months now and even with only pumping I could never get that side to produce as much as the other. So, you are not alone, but unfortunately I have no words of wisdom.
And omg, breastfeeding is not easy and pumping is not any easier. Dont let anyone fool you into thinking its easy. Thats not to say though, that you cant make one, the other, or a combo work for you. Good luck and keep talking about this stuff!!
My son always preferred my right, but I made him nurse on both sides until about six months and then I just gave up on the left. So I was REALLY lopsided for about 8 months! Like I could give up carrying a purse because my phone, keys, and wallet would have fit in the extra space in my bra on that side.
As an aside, now that I’m done the cups on my nursing bras look almost large enough to be hats! Oh, all the single girls must be REALLY excited to have babies when they read things like this.
If Livi is gaining weight and thriving, I would tell you to just stay the course. I always felt like 3-4 months was the magic age when nursing got a LOT easier. That probably sounds like an eternity away, but it will go quickly!
I lift babe’s arm like it’s a chicken wing. Sometimes it works, other times he stays passed out.
I’ve tried that but when it flops down like a noodle I know she’s done 😉
Hey! I think you’re doing great and really commend you sticking with it but don’t make yourself nuts! When Aaron began to reject my left breast a friend said “if a woman can nurse twins with 2 breasts you can easily nurse 1 baby with 1 breast.”. Yes you’ll be lopsided but that’s what those little chicken cutlet things from VS are for!
Im going 8 months breastfeeding and my babe chooses my left side over right, she still nurses on the right but the milk comes faster on my left. the let down doesnt come so fast on my right. so im lopsided too. its not very attractive haha, left boob is bigger than my right. but i was told to start on my right side for every feeding. it helps but still lopsided and shes 8 months. so hopefully when im done breastfeeding they go back to normal size….
Olivia looks sooo cute in that pic!
You know, I think that she might not like your right side bc of, hm, how to put it “emotional baggage”?! It may sound very strange to you, but the right sight is considered the male side of the family, and to me it seems that you may have had some issues (or not even you, but somebody else in your family) with a male side? Now, I know you had that surgery on the right sight, and if Olivia has to face that- doesn´t seem pleasent to me. Not sure if you understand what I am trying to say (to me this is all natural, since I grew up with all those spiritual things), I just thought it might help if you would tackle certain issues.
I really hope you will figure out how to get her to drink from the right side, too! Good luck.
First off that picture is adorable! We call that “milk drunk” over here! I love that you posted this because I was so convinced that bfing was intuitive when I was preggers. After all women have been doing it for thousands of years right? The truth is it is hard! It has its ups and downs believe me after five months I am still learning this! As far as the fall asleep goes I use go my sister gave me the advice of gently tapping their cheek to get them going( almost a soft nudge). I think you are probably doing everything you should be if she is gaining weight though! That is half the battle and big sign that they are getting what they need. Its funny because my mother in law who is very oppose to nursing pretty much told me that formula fed babies did better but within a month my daughter was in the 60th percentile for height and weight so we proved her wrong! I will say it again, you are doing awesome! I love reading your posts and the fact that you are so honest. I wish I had kept a journal during the first months 🙂
My sons both always preferred my left. It kinda worked out cause then I still had my right hand free, ha! The sleepiness is so normal for her age. Try unzipping her jammies, tickling her feet, or using a cool washcloth on her belly to keep her alert. Try not to get too stressed about it – like everything in motherhood, “This too shall pass” and soon you will be worrying about something new 😉
First off that picture is adorable! We call that “milk drunk” over here! I love that you posted this because I was so convinced that bfing was intuitive when I was preggers. After all women have been doing it for thousands of years right? The truth is it is hard! It has its ups and downs believe me after five months I am still learning this! As far as the falling asleep thing goes my sister gave me the advice of gently tapping their cheek to get them going( almost a soft nudge). I think you are probably doing everything you should be if she is gaining weight though! That is half the battle and a big sign that they are getting what they need. Its funny because my mother in law who is very oppose to nursing pretty much told me that formula fed babies did better then nursed one (she kept trying to get me to give up) but within a month my daughter was in the 60th percentile for height and weight so we proved her wrong! I will say it again, you are doing awesome! I love reading your posts and the fact that you are so honest. I wish I had kept a journal during the first months 🙂
Oddly enough the side I had surgery on years ago produces more milk! I still find that surprising. We were taught at the hospital to rub the skin between the thumb and index finger to help keep the baby awake and encourage sucking. My hubs joked his only job was thumb-rubber! It seemed to help. My guy used to fall asleep while nursing and wake up hungry again right after as well. The constant feeding really calmed down and evened out once I started to keep him awake longer after feeding. Unfortunately all babies are different, but I so wish there was a manual!
I tried all the normal tricks to keep my little one awake while feeding — down to a diaper, tickling his toes, tickling his chin, stroking his cheek. Nothing worked. He just wanted to sleep. Every time. So I started changing his diaper in the middle. He would nurse one side for about 15 minutes, then I’d change him and try the other. It would get me stretches of 2 hours, which I think is the best you can hope for with a newborn. It does get easier, I promise. Around 6 weeks, everything just seemed to get better. He learned to eat, started sleeping longer stretches, started smiling, and then life was pretty great. Olivia looks like a little sleeping angel! You’re doing a great job. Keep it up!
Aww, I so so so wish that I had something to offer that would help you out! You are my hero girl. <3
I have an opposite situation – my baby stays awake and sucking for an hour every time!… she is getting to 45 min now. 7 times per day….or 8… plus one nightly pump… As long as Olivia is gaining weight, there is nothing to worry about, every baby is unique. nurses at the hospital advised to rub the baby’s head – temples and back of head and neck, and the little feet to keep them awake.
It’s natural for babies to want to sleep while they eat! Total comfort thing. My baby was the same, my hubby would tickle his toes while he was eating. 🙂
It took me till month four to feel confident in breast feeding, but I say that and now at month nine I was having doubts about my production for a day or two, but we are fine again now. Try to have confidence!
Oh and about the right boob, try positive affirmations “my breast is making milk, it is providing my baby with the best food and love”. I used positive affirmations when I was having doubts, and found it very helpful. I even envisioned milk flowing in a stream when I was having doubts. Sounds silly, but we all know the power of positive affirmations!
Most importantly keep doing what you’re doing. You are such a fabulous Mom already, Livi is one lucky cookie! 😀
She is so sweet!!
My only tip is be patient (I know, so helpful right?) — and everyone is lopsided to some extent! My Livie was a snacker until she as about 6 weeks old and then she got into her groove (right around the 6-week growth spurt). She would eat ALL THE TIME and I felt like she just never full. It so different from my son who nursed forever (30-45 minute sessions) but then took long breaks. Every baby is different and has a different learning curve (and FWIW at almost 3 she’s still a snacker – lol).
Oh – and 5oz at 4 weeks is impressive! She probably doesn’t need to eat more than 3-4 in a sitting. Great job mama 🙂
She’ll stay awake a lot easier once she’s a little older! I know, not what you want to hear right now, but while there are tons of tricks, none of them really ever worked for us. Eventually, he just fell into an eat-play-sleep schedule all by himself. Maybe around 6 weeks or so.
So…I’m only commenting because your last paragraph sounds SO MUCH like my daughter. She always falls asleep…almost like she prefers to eat enough to ‘take the edge off’ of her hunger but not to keep going. We had a swallow/suck study with a speech therapist and a GI X-ray, and it turned out she has reflux. That’s why she only ate enough to keep her going, why she preferred laying on one side but not the other, etc. I doubt Livi has the same thing, but I would encourage you to pursue it further with your pediatrician. I thought that Violet’s eating habits were ‘normal’ and didn’t know otherwise until someone said something!
I loved the “wakey wakey or you’ll get nakey” motto.
Sadly, I have no advice for you – best of luck!
I nurse my 10-month old exclusively on the left side – I had serious latch issues and several clogged ducts before I gave up on righty. Yes, I’m lopsided but my daughter is healthy and happy and we haven’t needed to supplement at all. I only pump when I’m at work. Just to let you know, it is totally possible to only nurse on one side!
BTW – if your pump is causing tons of discomfort, you might need different size horn/funnel (whatever they are called). I think the ones that come with the pump in style are too small for a lot of women.
Try doing breast compressions while she is drinking. When she starts to suck with a good latch, compress your breast as she drinks. Stop when she pauses to take a break.
Google “dr jack Newman” and look for his videos and website. He is a breast feeding guru here in Canada. He swears by breast compression.
Has your LC said anything about over supply in your left breast? It can cause a hind/fore milk imbalance. It seems that you have a good supply from your left but 5oz in one pump session is a lot. My LC also talked about power pumping in which you pump for 10 minutes, take a break for 10, then resume pumping again for 10 minutes. It might help a bit with the right side 🙂
I had the same problem with my son – he was eating, falling asleep and then waking up hungry and it became a horrible cycle. I became so sleep deprived from the constant feeding that my husband intervened and we had ‘baby boot camp’. The concept was that I would feed the baby and if he feel asleep that was fine but when he woke up I didn’t feed him again until the recommended amount of time between feedings had passed. My husband stayed home from work that day and helped bc there was a lot of fussing..but it worked. I used all the jostling and tickling tricks to try and help my son stay awake but ultimately he had to learn that when it was time to eat he had better eat or it would be 2.5 hours before it was offered again.
I guess my answer, which sounds mean, but isn’t, is to relax and remember you still have a newborn! I’ve been nursing my 9 month old exclusively ( she hated the bottle and pacifier) but it hasn’t been smooth. I’ve had no breast surgeries but I find my LO prefers one side so, we usually only nurse on that side. It’s easier now that we only nurse 6x a day but it was way harder when we nursed 20x a day! I thought my nipple would fall off from the pain. I stuck with it and it got easier around 5 months. I think head control made it easy – especially in public which we do lots of because its NBD.
Also, cherish falling alseep while nursing and stop trying to fix it! It seems hard to deal with but it goes away soon. I would LOVE 40 mins of nursing plus naps! Try side laying and take a nap with her — or at least read a book 🙂
Everyone tells you but it’s true — relax! Don’t sweat the small stuff. if she pees/poops and is gaining weight according to the trend line, then it’s all good.
My little guy only ate for 10 minutes at a time, once per hour. This lasted for at least the first 5 months.
The lactation nurse said as long as he’s gaining weight,not to worry. I also went to a breast feeding support group, and received the same answer (from both professionals and fellow moms).
I am so lucky that he latched problem-free immediately and we never had any problems – to me it was easy but I totally realize that everyone isn’t as lucky. I bet the next one will be a nightmare!
Have you tried block feeding? It saved me with my constant nurser. I would feed on one side for 4 hrs at a time no matter how much he had just to make sure each boob got drained and the hindmilk was consumed. Read up on that one and see if it sounds right for you two.
She is GAW-GEOUS!
My daughter used to fall asleep nursing all the time when she was a newborn. I would get her down to her diaper, blow on her face and rub the bottom of the feet to keep her awake. Blowing on her face worked particularly well. She didn’t like it but it would get her to focus on her task 🙂 Good luck, it sounds like your little lady is doing very well and so are you!!
Wipe her face/chest down with a cold rag! She will not like it but it will wake her up 🙂
I just went to my BFing class last night and the consultant gave all kinds of tips. But she always ended with,” every mom and baby is different so these things may not work.” UGH!! So annoying, but true. All the advice in the world may not be enough.
I agree with everyone else. If she is gaining weight and happy, then you’re doing something right. I could only imagine your frustration though. Your such a great mom! It WILL eventually work out.
A couple of people said what I was going to say… if she’s gaining well, then you’re definitely doing something right! Hopefully you got good news at her 1 month check up.
There’s a book published by La Leche League called “Defining Your Own Success” and it has to do with breastfeeding after breast reduction surgery. I haven’t read it, but I think most mother’s that have had breast reduction surgery are only nursing a little bit and have to supplement at least some. Might be worth a look for tips/stories, maybe you can find it at the library (or you’re local LLL group might have it to loan out!)
For what it’s worth, I’ve got a friend who got pregnant after a mastectomy from breast cancer and she’s quite successfully nursing her baby well beyond her first birthday with just one breast! Keep nursing on demand and keep the faith that your body will figure out what to do!
P.S., I know you didn’t have breast reduction surgery, just meant to suggest that you might find something useful in that book related to your particular situation.
I know I’ve posted about this before, but my daughter is 14 weeks and we went through a similar issue (my left sides naturally defective and I couldn’t get her to nurse well off of it). We tried nursing on the right and pumping on the left, and now we’ve gone to nearly exclusive pumping and one nursing a day. At about 6 weeks, even my lactation consultants told me to just relax and figure out what works for us–it was too much for me to worry about pumping all the time after she ate, so now i pump 5 times a day and she nurses once (she still eats 7-8 times a day). It may not be the ideal, but baby girl is gaining and my life no longer totally revolves around nursing and pumping, which makes everyone happy.
She is so beautiful you are doing a fantastic job!
As a nurse these are some of things I tell new moms:
Nursing has a tranquilizing effect on babies, which is one of the most wonderful things about it for older babies (there is no better way to put a baby to sleep)
Dim the lights in the room. Newborn’s eyes are sensitive to light, and bright lights may make her want to keep her eyes closed. Sometimes if there is noise in the room or it is overstimulating this can make the baby want to close their eyes and go to sleep also.
Change her diaper and burp her before offering the other breast. Most newborns hate this, and it may make her mad enough to wake up and nurse. Try switching breasts as soon as her sucking slows down, even if it has only been a few minutes. Then go back to the other breast and let her fall asleep on that side if she wants to. Wipe her face with a cool, damp cloth. Just a couple of things I tell new moms, you are so good you probably know these already 🙂
Hi Gina!!! I could have written this about my babe. He was just as sleepy as Livi and it was SO frustrating, it took me twice the amount of time to breast feed because of it. What worked best was stroking his cheek/jaw and he would suck, and I would have to do this the ENTIRE time or he would sleep. Jack gained weight very slowly too. I so know where you are coming from, but she will wake up once she gains some more weight and is a little older. My lac nurse said some babies are just more “sleepy”.
Also, I produce WAY less on my right side too (1/3 of the left), but I haven’t worried too much about it because I hear it is normal?
Anyway, hang in there it sounds like she is thriving despite these challenges:)
I had a lot of trouble breastfeeding but by 6 weeks things really got much easier.
When I pump I feed on one side and pump the other at the same time so that your body is stimulated for letdown by the baby which is much more effective than a pump. You might get more milk from the right side that way. It’s hard to breast feed but it does get easier 🙂
Keep up the great work!
With #2 he preferred the left side, my right side was much smaller. I was very lopsided until #3 was born. I nursed #2 all through my pregnancy and still am nursing him. Now that they’re both nursing, #2 is 3 next month #3 is 1 next month. I am still lopsided but since she prefers the right side the left is the smaller now.
I bought a hospital grade pump to use at home and loved it, but ended up giving it to my SIL when their baby was born at 25 weeks so that she could pump for him.
It seems like if she falls asleep, she’s more sleepy than hungry. I must be missing something. Does she want to feed too frequently if you just let her sleep? I recall trying for longer times between feedings being important. When they get used to not snacking, they eat more and sleep longer and it just keeps getting longer between feedings. It’s been over 11 years for me, though. The rules have probably all changed. lol
Hey! Good work on the breastfeeding! It’s awesome but requires SO much knowledge and PATIENCE! I’m going on 7 months with my daughter with breast feeding. I’d tickle her feet the entire time and get her in her diaper. Make sure the room is bright (unless you’re nursing her to sleep) and maybe put a fan on! Anything to keep her awake! Also make sure you’re nursing her when she’s hungry- so she’s not tacking snacks here and there. If she’s a month and up to a good weight you could stretch out her time’s a little bit more to make sure she builds up an appetite! My daughter favored lefty for a while so while she ate on that side I’d pump at the same time on the right. It’s tricky but worked well cause I could get it all when my milk would let down for the first time. Babies do get in their “milk coma” though regardless of our efforts 😉 My husband and I would call it the BKO- Boob Knock Out if nothing else got her to sleep !
Good Luck! I think it honestly took a good 3 months before breastfeeding became a piece a cake. You’ll get in a groove before ya know it.
When my daughter was a month old I started I pumping exclusively (and giving her expressed milk in a bottle) and found that I had best results when I went through the beginning cycle (I have a Medela electric double) twice and turned the power up pretty high during the pumping. You might get a quick letdown if you massage while she’s on the right to encourage her to stay there. I always woke Rowan up by tickling her feet with a cold, wet wipe. I don’t think there is any really any trick to keeping her awake or anything you can do differently – she’s just still really little…this too shall pass:-)
LOL about your shoe!
I have a question that might sound stupid…I’m pregnant now so I am curious:
Why is pumping so terrible? Does it hurt? Is it just boring/an inconvenience??
Not Gina but I can answer that … 😉
1) It’s annoying 2) It can hurt when you’re sore 3) It’s time consuming and, yes, boring. Nursing feels much better and when I pumped I always felt like Bessie and the sounds the pump bag makes … oy vey. AWFUL.
All that being said, when I went back to work it was the only way I could give my daughter my milk, so I did it … til she was 9 mths old. Good luck on your pregnancy! It’s an amazing journey and motherhood isn’t easy but it is amazing.
Amy,
my daughter is 12 mos old and I’m still pumping once a day. I have pumped thousands of ounces, so if you want any advice, please feel free to email me or ask a question through my blog 🙂
With the right pump and the right support, it’s not been bad at all for me.