With as many things as there are to be excited about, it seems there are so many things to also be worried about. I think it’s a tougher point right now because no one knows we’re expecting, and I don’t really have anyone to talk to about it. It feels good to type, and at least feel like someone is listening to me, and someone may be feeling the same anxious energy about the same thing.
I have my first doctor’s appointment tomorrow, and am just praying to hear that little heartbeat. I was starting to get anxious about finding out whether everything is healthy/normal and I realized two things: 1) worrying doesn’t change anything, and 2) the worrying never really goes away. When Liv was born, it was a bit of a scary moment because the cord was wrapped and we had to get her immediately to oxygen. When she was finally snuggled in my chest, and I saw that indeed, she was a beautiful, perfect, healthy baby, it’s not like that sigh of relief was when the worry stopped. It was really just beginning. I worry about her ALL the time. Now, I’ll have someone else to worry about, and care about, and love so much that my heart can’t take it. And that’s something to be so very excited about. <3