Being present

It’s been a crazy week over here.

-Tom flying nights (again- oh how I loathe night flights. When he gets home in the middle of the night, he calls me to wake me up so I can take Bella downstairs and hold her when he comes in. If she hears the door open from upstairs, she’ll go insane and wake up the little one)

-teaching intense classes after two nights of no sleep. Livi has been sleeping through the night like a rockstar, then suddenly decided she missed her 3am feeding time, but added a 1am, 2am, 4am and 5am snuggle sesh in there, too

-and while I’m having a blast being back at teaching, my brain has failed me a couple of times. I forgot a merengue on Satuday and made it up on the spot- I’m pretty sure no one could tell, but they could definitely tell when I forgot my friend Melissa’s name when we team-taught Zumba today. “Thank you so much for coming- you did an amazing job! My name is Gina and this is Mar… ma huh… uhhh….. Melissa!” I’ve taught with Melissa many times before and have known her forever.. and almost called her Marisa. WTH?! I felt like a goober, but we just laughed about it.

I don’t mean to complain, but it’s definitely been a more challenging week than we’ve had in a while. With everything going on, I’ve still been trying (and failing) to stay present and in the moment. It’s definitely easier said than done.

It kind of gave me a reality check this afternoon. I was playing with Livi and while she was looking at the animals in her activity gym,

MY OTHER VIDEOS

activity gym

I ran to fill up my water bottle. As I was filling up my water bottle, I was making a mental list of the groceries we’re out of and the stuff we need from Target, behind the scenes blog stuff I’d been neglecting, my overflowing inbox, what the heck we’re going to have for dinner, etc.

When I came back, she had flipped onto her stomach and was looking around. It just made me think about how quickly she’s growing, and in the grand scheme of things, all of the to-dos don’t really matter.

I rolled her back over to her back, while cheering and smiling at her and said “can you do it again?”

She scrunched up her eyebrows like “watch this, mama,” kicked her leg over, arched her back and rolled back onto her stomach.

She had rolled over a few times before, but not without some serious grunting. Now, she’s flipping like a pro.

They say that babies grow quickly, and while I’ve believed it this entire time, it hit me pretty hard today.

So for now, I’m making a promise to myself to write things down instead of thinking about them,

every time I feel stressed out, counter that by focusing on something I’m thankful for

and ordering pizza for dinner tonight 😉

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30 Comments

  1. Mary on April 12, 2012 at 11:43 pm

    Good call on the pizza! You have a great attitude; reminding yourself not to sweat the small stuff! You are quite the rockstar, too!

  2. Erin @ Girl Gone Veggie on April 12, 2012 at 11:50 pm

    You have the best perspective! I’m sorry you had a hard week but you are such a great fitness instructor and such a great mom I know you’ll find your rhythm soon!

  3. j3nn on April 13, 2012 at 12:05 am

    Good call on pizza for dinner! You are handling motherhood like a champ. I don’t have any children, but I’m impressed by your go-go-go; I know it must be exhausting but worth it. 🙂

  4. Amber @ Busy, Bold, Blessed on April 13, 2012 at 12:15 am

    I can’t imagine having my boyfriend work nights, that must be so hard. You are such a trooper!

    Ordering a pizza is always a win 🙂

  5. Laura @ She Eats Well on April 13, 2012 at 12:22 am

    You are doing such an amazing job! Liv sounds like she’s got so much personality! It’s always good to take a step back and try to be present; it’s hard! But worth it.

  6. Sara on April 13, 2012 at 1:50 am

    I forgot my own phone number today. I had to call the council regarding our food programme registration and she asked for the number so the right person could call me back… I . had . nothing. It was sooo embarrassing. I can’t even blame baby brain, but I AM studying pre-conception nutrition right now. Maybe even just getting THAT close to all things ‘baby’ will make your brain turn to jelly (which Averie reliably tells me you all call ‘jello’ haha, what a word).

  7. Darien on April 13, 2012 at 1:51 am

    Awe, this is such a sweet and thoughtful post. I’m not a mommy yet, but I’ve followed your blog for years and just loved, loved, and love all of your family posts. I’m bookmarking this one especially, even for non-parents, it’s such a good reminder to cherish the moment. Even better when the hubby and I do have a baby, and really need a boost after sleepless weeks.

  8. Sara on April 13, 2012 at 1:52 am

    Also, on the working nights thing. My guy is on call 24/7 for two weeks out of four because he looks after some health service software in the UK, which is 12 hours time difference to NZ. So I’ll often wake up and find him in the lounge talking someone through a software issue. He is really good at it. Can go from deep sleep to ‘hello, how may I help you?’ without even throwing in an ‘do you KNOW what time it is, punk?’. I’d be no good at that job.

  9. Averie @ Averie Cooks on April 13, 2012 at 1:56 am

    Congrats on your little acrobat’s new moves 🙂 I remember those first flips and rolls (and crawls!)…the fun is just beginning 🙂

  10. Amy @ Amy loves food on April 13, 2012 at 2:48 am

    Oh the wonders of ‘baby brain’!! Since having my little boy last October i too have forgotten peoples names, but the worst thing is when you are half way through a sentence and you completely forget what you were going to say or the point of the story you are telling!

    I’m hoping that once i get more sleep, my brain will return to normal! Some weeks are really tough with a baby especially when they have a growth spurt x

  11. Diana on April 13, 2012 at 4:53 am

    Good on you! And if you ever feel like a goober for forgetting something at work or some brain fart that happens, just tell people who don’t know that you have a 2-month-old at home. EVERYONE will understand and think you’re a superwoman for being able to do everything else.

  12. Shannon on April 13, 2012 at 6:10 am

    It’s so true! They grow so fast. I can’t believe my little guy is 8 months. He is teething like crazy and we have not been sleeping over here. Last night I may have slept a total of 3 hours. This post is a good reminder that eventually I will sleep but he won’t always be this little and to just enjoy it best I can (with lots and lots of coffee). 🙂

  13. Kristen on April 13, 2012 at 7:06 am

    Haha… I’m holding my 6 wk old baby while reading this and I went from laughing at the name forgetting to crying by the end. My husband is thinking I’m a little looney right now.

    It’s so true though, time flies and they do grow up so fast. While at times I can’t wait for that next phase, I try so hard to enjoy where he’s at now. I will miss it oneday.

    You’re doing great. Definitely don’t worry about all the to-dos. I have to remind myself of this too. I spend all day sometimes just working on my to-do list and next thing you know, the day is over and I feel like it was a blur. I don’t want that. I want to savor this time with my son. Not rush through it.

  14. Annalisa on April 13, 2012 at 7:50 am

    Now that my baby is 11 months, I’ve really made a point of engaging with her (maybe starting around 9 months) for 15 minutes a day. it sounds like a little but it is a lot since I am home with her but like you, distracted. I think it got easier to be present when she truly responds and interacts. Not that I didn’t enjoy giving tickles and smiling with her when she was 4 or 5 months but now it is so different. We can read, she plays peek a boo with us!, we take things in and out of bowls/buckets/etc, give kisses and hugs, stack blocks, and she’s starting to walk but needs some help. I think the 15 minute rule has made me feel like a better Mom since I force myself to be aware and present.

  15. Michelle on April 13, 2012 at 7:54 am

    It seriously does go by soo quickly! My little girl is seven months now and we have a video of her rolling over on Christmas Eve. She looks like a different baby. I live in NE and the weather this week has been great so we have been taking time to “smell the roses” literally. I laid a blanket on the grass and just watched my daughter explore. It was pretty amazing! Life is busy , but I always say make time for people first and things later.. this includes “little people” aka babies 🙂

  16. Jen Marie on April 13, 2012 at 8:09 am

    What a great post. I have a similar way to handle things when I find my brain is wandering all over the place. I grab my phone and give myself 5 minutes to write or speak it (using that awesome feature in smart phones) all down in my to-do-list. Yay for Livi rolling around!

  17. Katie @ Pop Culture Cuisine on April 13, 2012 at 9:10 am

    Thank you for putting it all into perspective…I often can’t believe we have already made it 7 months and I think the time is flying way too fast! I tend to get too caught up in the things that don’t matter and often catch myself not spending those quality moment with our little girl. Thank you for reminding me that she is really what matters now and using this time to the fullest!

  18. Natalie S on April 13, 2012 at 9:10 am

    Love this!!

  19. lisa on April 13, 2012 at 9:20 am

    You should start a moms one line a day diary. I didn’t start mine until my son was 4 but wish I had written down little snippets at an earlier age.

  20. Julie on April 13, 2012 at 9:42 am

    I am so amazed at how fast my niece has grown. I wasn’t living near my sister for her first year, but I have been from 1yr 4 months on (she is turning 3 next week) and literally if I go two weeks without seeing her, it is like I have missed out on so much. Every day it seems like something new. I think the best was when instead of 1-2 word replies to conversation, she started speaking sentences and saying things that prove she is taking everything in, analyzing it, and comparing it to what she is familiar with. It blows me away.

    My sister made a place mat that she laminated, and it has 1-12 month “birthday” family pictures on it along with stickers and numbers to use to teach, so there is a pic of mommy, daddy, little M, and a cupcake to celebrate. M still pulls that thing out and explains it to me to this day (Aunt G, this is me and mommy made that cupcake. It tasted like mango). And it is funny to see that at around month 5 she starts really grabbing for that cupcake, she had finally figured out it was something gooooood.

  21. Irene on April 13, 2012 at 10:01 am

    I’m sorry its been a tough week Gina! You always amaze me with your great perspective on everything! I’m sure going back to work is a HUGE adjustment after all the other wonderful but huge changes you’ve had going on lately. Just know that everyone else can see you are doing GREAT so please be kind to yourself!

  22. Kim on April 13, 2012 at 10:40 am

    Great post, Gina. I really needed to read something like this today.

  23. Angela on April 13, 2012 at 10:50 am

    The dreaded baby brain + lack of sleep = recipe for disaster!….My first week back to work was rough and I took 1 year maternity leave!!!! Get this I couldn’t for the life of me think of my bosses name my first day back!!!!! that was super embarrassing!

    And little ones do grow WAY too quickly. I think you learn to appreciate your time with them once your back at work because time is more limited! You are doing an amazing job momma!

  24. Coco on April 13, 2012 at 10:53 am

    Don’t apologize for complaining- seriously.. You have so much on your plate and you make it look so effortless (while I know that it’s totally not)! Being present is NOT something I am good at- it takes work for me for sure. High five to little Livi!

  25. Kelly@Runmarun on April 13, 2012 at 11:08 am

    Congratulations on your girl flipping over already! She must be very strong to be doing that so soon. It is definitely hard to juggle everything but just the fact that you are conscious to wanting to enjoy the present moments is wonderful.

  26. Katie on April 13, 2012 at 11:24 am

    Loved this post! I liked the sequence of thoughts and how you presented them. 🙂

  27. Lizzie on April 13, 2012 at 11:53 am

    The story about Livi gave me chills! Maybe you’re already doing it, but you should keep a baby book…pictures, baby’s “firsts,” little stories you can look back on, the date she first flipped, etc..My mom kept one for both my brother and I and it’s amazing to look back through.

  28. Amy on April 13, 2012 at 12:35 pm

    I just got back from a MOPs meeting and this was the theme today- staying in the moment, appreciating the little things, and focusing on what really matters. Loved this post and I think it’s totally normal to have these moments/days (at least it makes me feel better to think it is). Have a good day!

  29. Emily @ Glitz Glam Granola on April 13, 2012 at 1:12 pm

    Sorry that this has been a challenging week for you! You have a lot on your plate! But how wonderful that you have a constant little reminder of how precious life is and how quickly it goes. Everything will get done but your time with your family is truly the most important.

  30. Stephanie on April 14, 2012 at 8:51 am

    My baby girl is only about a week older than yours and is starting to sleep pretty well. Typically we put her to bed around 7 and she will either wake up once between 7pm and 6am or just sleep straight through. That being said, we cannot count on this at all so in order to be the most rested and least stressed momma I can be, I go to bed as EARLY as possible. It is a rare night that I am asleep later than 9. Usually my husband and I will hang out until 8 or 8:30 and then I get in bed and read so that Im dead asleep by 9ish. It always makes me feel better if I have a few hours under my belt before the first wake up, whenever that may be. Hang in there! I know it is SO tough but like I hear other moms say, soon their babies don’t “need” them as much and dont want the snuggles and that is just as hard Im sure!

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