Not so fast
Remember my April Fool’s joke?
It was more of a “I hope I’m joking” kinda thing.
I know now that I’m not preg, but I was totally wondering-thinking in the back of my mind that I might be. Not gonna lie- it scared the bejeezus out of me.
For our first pediatrician appointment, two days after Livi was born, we walked past a couple who were walking out of the office with a newborn and a toddler. The toddler was probably a little over a year old. We said hi to them as we walked past, and I think they could see the zombie in our eyes, because the man said, “The funny thing is that we thought it was hard with just one.”
I can’t even imagine.
Many times over the past 13 weeks, I’ve thought to myself “what if we had twins?” or “how would I do this if we had a small child, too?” It just seems impossible but it’s probably like anything else that’s challenging: when you’re there, you make it work. I tip my hat to all of women with babies- single moms are rockstars, and so are the women who take care of their children with a husband who is deployed or traveling for work. You all amaze me.
Of course, if we were pregnant, I’d get excited for the idea and count it as a blessing, but ideally we’d like to wait a few years. I was talking to a guest at work last weekend who has 4 girls: one 24, 22, 16 and 14. She asked me if we had kids and I told her about Livi- how old she is, that I’m having so much fun with her and she’s been growing so quickly. She asked when we were going to have another one, and when my eyeballs spun to the back of my head, she said, “You have to have a second kid, so she’ll have a friend. Wait as long as you need to, but it’s something you have to do.”
When she told me this, I was still thinking that there was a chance I could be pregnant. My hips were hurting –my first pregnancy symptom- sore boobs, and debilitating fatigue. I realized that it was just soreness from being back at work, and I’m probably going to have to get used to the tired thing until I can drink caffeine again. I’d been off coffee for quite some time, but after I’m finished breastfeeding, I’m bringing it back.
For now, we’ll be focusing on one thing at a time over here
(one funny, lovely, amazing little thing)
and maybe we’ll be a little more careful about other things.
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Don’t EVER let anyone tell you that you “have to” have another child. Ever.
haha. i just smiled at her
You’re so sweet!! That’s much nicer than what I would’ve done!
My Mom has always said it’s important to have more than one child if you can. That way children can lean on each other for support. My mom is also an extreme worry-wort… she would worry that if she only had one child and she or my father died, that child would be alone. While she is definitely overreacting I think she has a point.
As I’ve gotten older I’ve gotten much closer with my 3 younger siblings. The youngest is 6 years younger than me, the oldest is about a year and a half younger. As my Mom and grandparents are getting older I’m happy that I can call my sister or brothers for comfort and advice in family situations. I don’t know how I will go through my Mom’s (inevitable) aging without them.
The longest relationship you will have in your life is with yourself– but the second longest is the one you have with your siblings. I think the guest at the resort was right- Livi will need a friend. Not just for her childhood- but for her entire life.
Seriously? There is no right or wrong composition of a family.
I’m not asserting that there is a “right or wrong” way. I’m just saying that having a sibling to support you not just as child but as an adult is an priceless relationship that can’t be substituted for with any other relationship. Not that it’s any stronger than friendships or by having a spouse, but it’s unique. Again, the person who will know me the longest during my life are my siblings, we’ve been with each other through every event in our lives- I can’t say that about my husband or my best friend.
i’m an only child, and i DO wish that i had a sibling! 🙁
It’s fantastic that that’s been your experience. But it’s just that: your experience with your siblings. What felt very “right or wrong” to me was “I think the guest at the resort was right- Livi will need a friend.” I’m sorry if I took too much from your comment, but it reads to me like you’re suggesting that deciding to only have one child is somehow depriving your child of a necessary relationship.
Food for thought: http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,2002530,00.html
I think Maggie makes a good point– something that I’ve never thought of before. It isn’t a right or wrong issue really, it has nothing to do with stereotypes like “only children are selfish and don’t know how to share” it’s more that having siblings is an important part of one’s life that can’t be replaced by other people.
My brother in law recently had to put his mother (who has Alzheimer’s) into assisted living. He doesn’t have any siblings so he had to make the decision by himself. When I would talk to my sister she would tell me about how she couldn’t figure out a way to help him or console him- the person that he wanted most to help him was his deceased father. At the time I attributed his attitude to just him missing his father. I think it might not the missing his father so much as it was as wishing there was a family member there to help him make the decision like the sibling would be there to do. Now that his dad is dead and his mom is in the facility he’s alone.
I agree with you (not that the resort guest was right, because I think she totally over-stepped), but about the importance of sibling relationships!
My parents both lost one of their parents the same year, and seeing how much more difficult the whole ordeal was for my dad (an only child) as opposed to my mom (with 3 sisters) was pretty heart-wrenching. My relationship with my sister has always been one that I just can’t imagine my life without, and it’s also such a comfort to know that I’ll have somebody in the same boat down the road when my parents need care and decisions need to be made. She’s the greatest gift my parents ever gave me, for sure <3
Having a sibling doesn’t automatically mean help either! We are also in an Alzheimer’s situation in our family. My husband has siblings, yet is still dealing with most of it on his own.
My brother is my best friend, I cannot imagine going through any part of my life without him. I have two only-child friends marrying next month, and they’ve repeatedly said that they won’t do that to their children. They can’t wait to start their family! 🙂 There is no ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ composition of a family, but rather a sliding scale of love and support.
After thinking again, my cousin is an only child because her parents are unable to have more children. We devote all of our love and attention to her. She also has many opportunities that I was not able to (because of two kids, financially) and is extremely well-rounded. Again, no set rules!
My mom had that mentality, too, then she ended up having my sister who is a complete and total psychopath and has made her life (and mine, until I moved out) living hell. So, yeah, the woman was not right. There needs to be a loving home, period, no matter how many people are in it.
I get what everyone is saying. Close familial relationship are a blessing, no matter how few or how many. I am fortunate to have a sister who is my life long best friend. She has a daughter who is likely to be an only child. Each of us will have our own highs and lows and learn to deal with them in the best way we can. A sibling is a lovely, wonderful gift (provided that you have a healthy relationship), but there are plenty of ‘right ways’ to do everything. If Liv ends up as an only child, it doesn’t mean she will be missing something.
That’s how I got my baby brother (maybe not a baby, he’s 19)! My mom was petrified that I would be alone if she and my dad died in a car accident or something. I’m so grateful that they gave me a best friend for the rest of my life 🙂
Your relationship with your siblings may be unique, but this is all operating under the assumption that you will, in the end, have a decent relationship with your family throughout your life. Blood relative does not equate to instant support as you move through life.
As an only child between my mom and dad (I have two step-siblings, both of whom I consider my “real” brother and sister), I will say that there are times where I wish I had a sibling. I’m my father’s power of attorney, health care surrogate, etc. so in the event that something happens to him, I’m the primary point of contact for my dad. I do not have any siblings to turn to, so my relationship to my dad is unique in that it is MY relationship and there are no other people in my family who can call him “father.” It would be nice to have someone to lean on. I don’t think my husband always understands this when we talk about moving (he has two siblings, one in England and one who lives down the road from his parents). If something happens to his parents, his sister is right there to step in immediately. Whereas if something happens to my dad and we live far away from him, I have to operate by phone until I can get to my dad’s side.
However, in the end, it doesn’t really matter. Not every relationship by blood is a good one. Sometimes the relationships you are born into aren’t the ones that support you, nurture you, or help you grow as you age. There really are ZERO guarantees. (My mom isn’t close to her siblings AT ALL and both of her parents died when she was in her early 20s.) I don’t think there is a “right or wrong” way to compose your family; there are pros and cons to each side. I can see the merit in having siblings, assuming you have a good relationship with them. Otherwise, I don’t think having siblings is a MUST, just different. 🙂
Hear, hear! (I’m a perfectly content only child!)
I’m an onlh child and have always had plenty of friends. All options are wonderful but I do think that being an only child forces you to be a sociable person. Plus imaginary friends are pretty awesome. 😉
Good to hear, Rachel. 🙂
I’m an only child, too, and I’ve never felt deprived. Like Rachel said, I just grew up more sociable and extroverted, and now I have a huge group of friends, plus a very close-knit family, since there are only three of us.
Thanks Rachel and China for chiming in. We’re done with our one, simply because it’s all we can handle and do everything we want for (pay for her college wherever she wants to go, etc). I was offended by Maggie’s comment as another commenter was. Of course many people have wonderful sibling relationships, and some have terrible sibling relationships. The fallacy is applying one’s own situation (having enjoyed having a particular sibling) to a hypothethical situation where an only child may or may not remain one.
The studies about only children have been debunked. I completely acknowledge, as said above, that certain and perhaps most people enjoy having a sibling. However, I find it insensitive to tell a stranger on the internet that her child “needs” a sibling. What if the mother ended up not being able to have another, and your words stuck in her mind? (I’m sure that won’t happen to Gina, but could happen to one of her readers.)
My mother has 6 siblings and is very close to all of them. My dad has none. I have one (7 years younger) and while we come together over family issues and see each other about 3 times a month, I wouldn’t describe us as especially close. My husband’s only brother is severely mentally disabled, so they aren’t “close” in a traditional sense, though of course he loves him and will care for him when their parents pass. You just never know.
Agreed. A lot of the problem I had with a previous commenter’s statement was the assertion that children “need” siblings and it’s a mother’s responsibility to provide that. (I realize she didn’t say this verbatim but that was what I took from her statement.) There’s enough pressure in our society for women to have particular aspirations for their lives without people on the internet telling each other that their kids “need” siblings.
So glad the attention gets to stay on Livi for now. ;p Although I hope when you are ready again the pregnancy comes quickly and easily!
I feel you! We are 17 months into twin life and I. cannot. imagine having another one … the truth is that every life is a blessing but I really want to enjoy the little lives we have around us now.
Oh, and I’d recognize that doll anywhere, my daughter’s first doll love when she was a tiny baby was Abby Cadaby … and she still sleeps with her Abby every night.
my mom got it for her, and i’ve never seen livi so excited over a toy before- it’s like her best friend!
We got pregnant with our second child 9 months into nursing our 1st. We struggled to get pregnant with our first, and the second just came along as an unexpected surprise….you’re right, you do what you need to do to get by….and make it work! We wouldn’t have planned to have our boys 18 months apart, but it was the best blessing ever! Now I’m expecting our 3rd, which we had to use drugs again to get! It’s weird how your body works!!!!!!!!
Oh my, how long are people supposed to wait before having another baby? I can’t remember but I think the body needs a year to recover? I feel like I learned that in one of my bio classes.
My daughters are 15 months apart and although it was not “planned” that way, I wouldn’t have preferred it any other way…I love that they are so close. They have been through every part of life together so far…
My mom has a brother that is exactly one year younger than her (same birthday!). My grandparents say that while they love my uncle, having two little babies at once was overwhelming and they would have spaced it out a few more years if they hadn’t gotten pregnant so soon by accident. I imagine it must have been so scary to think you were pregnant again with Livi still so little!
I love all 4 of my kids. I’ve wanted to strangle all 4 of them. After the past week, there’s a couple fo the teens that I was kinda wishing would emancipate themselves. But I love them with all my heart. I do not understand people’s obsession with telling people to have more, I truly don’t. I know there were a select few who were not enjoying parenthood and it was like a “misery loves company” kind of thing. You do what you want to do with your body and your family. My youngest will be somewhat of an only child. She’s 3 and the others are 19, 17 and 13. I will say one of the greatest joys I never,ever expected was watching them fall head over heals in love with her. They were SO much fun on Christmas and other holidays getting her all excited for Santa and things. As odd as it seems, watching the oldest boy drive away with her in the car seat we bought for his truck for emergency pick ups chokes me up to this day.
I got teary just reading this!
It is VERY hard with one…then add another! I got pregnant when my son was 3 months old…I was working and in Grad school! I found out when I went to celebrate my final exam “A'” and 3 glass of wine that were all tasting terrible to me and sent back…want not the wine but a baby on the way. I kept going through school, and clinical, and working preggers and no sleep due to hyperactive little baby boy. I had my little baby girl, and was back to school a week later. Wasn’t easy at all. And having 2 in diapers and sleepless nights was hell. What I can tell you is now, my boy will be 5 and my little girl will be 4 two days later. They are the best of friends, they play together, have the same interests ( yes Thomas the Tank and My little Pony’s can talk and play) and they do have major fights. It is nice now at this age…I can enjoy them, bring them to parks, zoo’s, and do things they can both enjoy. My second wasn’t planned that way, but now, I really can enjoy them and they are old enough that I can also enjoy my life too. Hope that helped 🙂
Wow, can’t believe you did all of that!! I’m in grad school and cannot imagine! Kudos to you!
Idk if this is TMI but since you have pretty much made this a “tmi” page – ha – I was wondering… are you planning on going back on the pill now that you are fertile and well, back in the game? Just curious about your thought on this post – liv , if they had changed, etc
haha this definitely is the tmi page 😉
no, i’m not going back on the pill. we’re going to go back to fertility awareness method since liv is sleeping through the night
Since we can be tmi here – what have you been doing in the mean time or has that department been shut down for a little? Haha. My husband and I worry about this all the time. I have no idea what we are going to do until baby sleeps through the night.
this is a little graphic (sorry, haha!) but we’ve been doing the pull and pray method
Ha! This is what we have discussed doing too lol
Isn’t that a bit…dangerous? I mean, sperm can live for a while, a few days? For me, that totally wouldn’t work, as I am “on” on those days when it’d be “off limits”….you know? Maybe I don’t totally understand the FAM?
the fertility awareness works extremely well, but you have to be diligent about following it. it’s not something i would ever do if i weren’t married and in a position where it would be ok to have another kdi
My job situation doesn’t really warrant another baby any time soon. We can easily afford one baby with just one income…two is pushing it! If I did have a real job, I wouldn’t try again for at least a year I think.
I watched a snippet of ‘A Baby Story’ today for the first time since giving birth and I promptly turned it right off. I have no wish of going through that again for awhile! 😉
You just have to find the spacing that works for you if you have more than 1. My kids are 3.5, 1.5 and I’m 21 weeks pregnant. It’s rough sometimes (I’ve been pregnant, nursing or both since January 2008), but I love how close they are and also the fact that we’re getting all the diapers, breastfeeding, and sleeplessness out of the way all at once. I am not the type of person that would have enjoyed having a potty trained 4 year old who sleeps through the night and then have to go back to a newborn. It would have killed me, but I know plenty of people it worked for.
You gotta do what is best and right for you and your family. I don’t know what I would have done or said to the lady telling me what I “have” to do. You are very patient :). I have always loved having a big sister and also, being the youngest because I think I had it easier than my sister ha ha. But, like one of your other readers mentioned, all options are wonderful.
I found out I was pregnant again when my boy was 10 months, and have 13 weeks to go… Maybe I wouldnt have chosen this age gap, but we’ll roll with it and get by. I worry about silly things like, will the house ever be clean again. Hehe, like that actually matters! I do laugh when people offer up “advice” surrounding children and the number you should have. It is all individual, what is right for you, your husband and your situation. I know people (mostly) mean well though 🙂
My husband’s old boss had 3 kids (4, 2 and <1) when they found out they were expecting a surprise 4th. They were freaking out a little about the whole deal, 3 in nappies at the same time etc etc when the doctor told them it might be twins! I think they both stopped breathing for a few days waiting for that test to be done 🙂
(P.S. I can't believe so many people has such strong opinions about what is a completely personal decision …)
My daughter is 19 months old and I would LOVE to have another one soon, but my husband is still not ready yet. I think he has a better memory than I do and remembers all the sleepless nights. Add those to our busy toddler and I guess he might have a point. I’m just going to have to wait until we are both on the same page!
We’re one and done; three is the perfect size for us and we don’t feel pressure to have a sibling for our daughter. In fact, with no family here and a husband who travels, I feel the second child would be shortchanged as I would feel so stretched just to keep my head above water. So may hat is off to anyone who has one child, or ten kids, parenthood is the best job but the hardest but the most amazing 🙂 Hope you guys are blessed with another one when the time is perfect for you 🙂
We found out this morning that we are having another little GIRL this summer! I wish that there were words for how over-the-moon happy we are, but they seem to just be coming out as tears instead 😉 My daughter lost her identical twin shortly after delivery, and giving her a sister to grow up with is a dream come true!
I should probably be more concerned about the challenges, but I say, bring em on!!!
oh my goodness. congratulations!!!! so happy for you, and sending lots of love to your family 🙂 i bet your daughter can’t wait to be a big sis!
My brothers 12 months and 17 days older then me, it happens my parents were 25 when I was born my mom worked nights and my dad worked and went to school. We lived in a 2 family home that my dads parents owned, so they had lots of family help and they got by. I think it probley made there marriage stronger they just celebrated 32 yrs of marriage and I hope to have a marriage like there’s someday. As for how many kids I think that’s for you and your husband to decide. Some kids like be an only child some think there missing out, but it same for those of us with sibling.
Agree with Averie that 1 or 10 children is a feat in itself. For those of us wondering if/when we’d like to have another I’d just like to share this little piece of information I was told by a mother of 3. That having more than 1 is easier than only having 1 (in her opinion) as they other children play and occupy each other. I have found with M (13 months old) I need to play with him constantly, but when we visited family last month, he was happy to play with his 2 and 5 year old cousins, and it allowed me to have time to do other things. Something I am keeping in mind as we discuss and think about when the timing is ‘right’ to try for M’s brother or sister.
There are 13 months between my first two daughters and almost 15 months between my second and third daughters. Yes, it was crazy having three under three, but now that they’re 6, 7, and 8 I wouldn’t want it any other way! Now, if you check in with me when the girls are 14, 15, and 16 it may be a TOTALLY different story!! 😉
Yea be careful. Tori Spelling just announced she is pregnant again and that the “breast feeding birth control plan” doesn’t work. 😉
i saw that!!! number 4 for her!
We were unsure about having a second b/c my daughter was so tough as a baby but we had my son 16 minths in between and it was tough but they are best buds!
One of my former co-workers (who is my age, 26) is expecting his third child, a son, next month. That will mean that he and his wife have three children ages three and under! OY! I cannot even imagine, but they are wonderful parents!
My hubs and I were just talking about this. We have a 5 week old son and he is already growing so fast. My husband says we’ll have another one in a few years and I said no way. All I was thinking of were the sleepless nights and doing it by myself (he works 24 hr shifts as a firefighter and works another job when he’s not at the firehall).
Like Tom, when he’s home, he’s home and it’s great but when he’s gone, I definitly know it.
But when I see the sweet things our baby does, his smile, his little coos and noises, I know I will miss that when he gets older and I’m sure the baby bug will hit again!
I know ppl say YOU have to decide what’s best for YOUR family but I’m gonna say it… I think it’s a little selfish to only have one child if all yr circumstances are well. I am an only child and always wished for a sibling- always, even today.
I have two kids( 5 months and a 2 yr old). There is exactly 2 yrs between them, they have the same bday. I’m glad they will have eachother!
It’s really hard right now for me since I’m a teacher and hubby own his own business and works lots of nights but it’s worth it!
Good luck.
My parents had the means and ability to have had multiple children if they wanted to, but they chose not to.
They also happen to be the most selfless people I know.
I’m sorry, but that’s ridiculous.
I don’t care how well off you are, having money is not a good enough reason to have more children. Doing something “just because you can” is irresponsible. I’m not going to get into the whole over population argument here, but having one, or no children if you so choose doesn’t make you selfish.
Um, what? It’s selfish to only have one child? Surely you are joking.
I am an only child, and my parents are incredibly, remarkably selfless. My mother miscarried when I was young and was too brokenhearted to attempt the whole thing again — my, my, how SELFISH of her.
I am an only child and my son is an only child! I love it and never wanted a sibling. Most people I know with siblings fight with them all the time or don’t even talk to them. That’s sad. Only you can decide how many kids you want..there is no wrong number.
It is so unfair to call someone selfish if they choose to only have one child. My parents decided only one was the right one for them because they knew they could afford it and still have a comfortable life. With two, that wouldn’t have been possible. They made a thoughtful decision and one I don’t regret. My parents are my best friends we have a bond that is so close because there are only 3 of us. That isnt to say other families with multiple children dont have that bond. Having siblings doesn’t automatically mean a lifelong friendship though. I know MANY people who are estranged from their siblings. Others are BFF. Every family has to do what is right for them and to call someone selfish because of that decision seems really cruel.
What really IS the best way to make sure you don’t get pregnant again right away?!! I think the body should take a hiatus on that for longer than it actually does! My mom and her older brother are very close in age. Her brother was born beginning of April, and my mom the next year, end of February. My grandma took about a good 4 months off then came my mom!
Haha. The best way? Abstinence.
As a momma of 5 month old twins, it is hard, but you could do it. I don’t know any different! That being said, we would freak if I ended up pregnant any time soon! I’m sure we would be thrilled after we got over the initial shock though.
That can be scary! I am not on BC and I have probably taken more pregnancy tests than anyone I know.. I do think its kind of rude that people just assume that you have to have multiple children- I mean Livi is so young still and I think that it is important to focus your attention on her- especially since she is your first child and it seems like its a constant learning process. I’m an only child and I am just fine without a sibling.. Sure there are times when I wish I had one but for the most part its no biggie. My parents just made sure that I was around a lot of kids and in a lot of activities which I’m sure accounts for my obsession with intense activity.. haha.
So, your fear is my fear and I haven’t even had my darling son yet. I think we do want more children but I know I don’t want them for some time after (after watching friends) I want a couple years in between, too. With that said, have you been doing any research on birth control options? I’m terrified of the idea of pregnancy following pregnancy (my cousin had a baby and became pregnant 3 months later, on accident WITH TWINS!) they are all very happy healthy babies, but I know I don’t want that. I’m not thrilled about any of the options out there 🙁 and was wondering if you had any opinions!
The more the merrier =) There are 18 months between my oldest and middle child, that means I got pregnant when my oldest was 9 months old. Then there is 14 months between my middle and youngest, yup, that means my middle child was 5 months old when I got pregnant with the youngest. I swear I was pregnant 3 years straight and nursed each child up until my third trimester when pregnant. So I was nonstop nursing also =) Right now I have a 5,6 and 7 year old! Never a dull moment in our house.
I find remarks that children should have a sibling rather upsetting – my sister and I do not get on and never have done, it’s not like having a friend or somebody to share things with, more like having somebody criticise me for everything that I do. My husband and I are hoping that we’ll be lucky enough to have a child, and I’ll be happy with one.
I honestly find those remarks REALLY disturbing. I’ve always wanted to have 3-4 kids, but I can’t believe that if I ever decided to have 1 kid, people would actually think that I was being selfish? Especially if it was because I wanted to make sure I had enough time and money to spend on 1 kid? What would these people say about people who want *gasp* NO children?
Great post! Obviously it s a very personal decision. My fear for an eventual baby number 2 is different than anyone stated in the comments so far… I have been thankful literally every day since my son was born that he is healthy; I totally appreciate the miracle that our bodies can make beautiful wonderful children! And I am so afraid that the second time around we will not be as fortunate. I know its kind of irrational to get hung up on this, but its definitely on my mind and I wonder if I am alone in that. I doubt it will stop me from having #2 some day, but I may be a nervous wreck until then 🙂
My sister and I are 2 years and 3 days apart… we always hung out together and are still super close. I can’t imagine not having her in my life! On the flip side, my boyfriend is an only child and isn’t any of the stereotypes that typically come up about only children, and isn’t sad that he doesn’t have siblings.
Idk… my dad had 3 siblings, my mom has 4… our family is large and every gathering is a blast. I can’t imagine not having that… I look forward to celebrating holidays with my sister and her future kids… my boyfriend will have a few cousins, but I just don’t think it’s the same.
I think everyone’s experience is different, but I do know that I could never imagine life without my siblings.
Oh and one more thing – like a previous commenter mentioned, my parents had a hard time getting pregnant with my big sister, so expected the same for their second – me! – and instead my sis and I are only 20 months apart. I think people who plan to have kids that close together (and closer sometimes!) are nothing short of superheroes, but in our case it turned out to be so fantastic. Coming from the person who was having her diaper changed, not doing the changing! Haha.
Well written and thought provoking post. Shame that woman TOLD you what you NEEDED to do. You would think adults would know better….
I have 2 younger sisters and can’t imagine my life without them. My best friend is an only child and wouldn’t have wanted it any other way. I believe children are a blessing and the family dynamic that is meant to be will be.
I’m currently 36 weeks, my husband has been away for seven months of this pregnancy, and isn’t due home until the day before this baby’s due date. I have an almost two year old who keeps getting up earlier and earlier and I AM EXHAUSTED…
You’re so cute Gina! I love your outlook on things. I’m sure you’ll have another when you’re ready. I think 2-3 years apart is perfect and with those genes, you can’t stop at 1 🙂
How would you like to be the kid who got created to be a friend to your sibling?? I think Livi can make her own friends, if you did decide not to have more. And that’s certainly not selfish.
I know more sisters that hate each other (until adulthood and sometimes past) than close ones. I have three sisters and none of us were close until adulthood, and only one is a good friend now, and we work at it like any friendship. Sisterhood is no magic pass to perfect friendship.
I have an only child and she recognizes all the advantages, especially after spending time with her friends with younger siblings that they can’t stand 99% of the time.
My brother is 4 years older than me, and my Boy’s sister is 4 years older that he, and I’ve always thought that was a good amount of years to have between siblings…. but anyway! I think you’ll know when the time comes if you want another baby or not!
She is gorgeous, and I LOVE SEEING all of the pics!
I think you are doing such an awesome job. When I had my son he was the first grandchild and my in-laws were sooooo excited. They kept bugging us when could they take him over night. I didn’t understand why, all he did was eat, sleep, and poop. But when he was six months old I decided one night away wouldn’t be such a bad thing and my husband and I left him with them and excaped to Mirror Lake Inn in Lake Placid, NY. Well now every time we visit Lake Placid I point to the Mirror Lake Inn and tell my daughter, “That’s where God made you.” hahaha. When I first found out I was pregnant, I was less than thrilled. It took me a little while to adjust to the idea. But at the first appointment that I heard her heartbeat at I burst out crying and hated myself for thinking how could I not have wanted this? I think both sets of emotions are completely normal and I love that you share yours so freely. You make lots of other women feel like they are a.o.k.
I will say the first year with my “Irish twins” was challenging but since then it’s been easy peasy and I got an iud after Meg was born! Wasn’t letting that happen again! <3
Well, regardless of how appropriate that woman’s comment was, it obviously came from the heart & with good intentions, & I think that is the most important thing to consider when we are filtering what those around us to or say. Heaven knows that I have put my foot in my mouth or said something awkward although with good intentions many times, & I always just hope that people understand that it was coming from my heart.
That being said, it is obvious Gina that you & your brothers are close & that you have a lot of fond memories of growing up especially with Kyle. I have 2 younger sisters, & while we weren’t close when we were young, they are my best friends now. Do we have to work at the friendships? Of course! But they are well worth it. The coolest thing is that all 3 of us are currently pregnant together! And if you can believe it, none of us were planning to get pregnant yet. Anyway, that’s a random aside. I personally feel so blessed by family that I know already I’ll want to share that feeling with my kids. Even though I am just pregnant with my first my husband & I know we will want another. But of course, each family has to decide that for themselves!
Olivia is super cute in that photo with the doll.
BAH! I just want to squeeze Olivia, she is just too much!! I remember your post a while back about different BC meathods and I just remembered I heard something about that inmplanton or whatever it’s called. A friend was telling me her friend got one, and it worked great, but whe she had it removed it left a HUGE scar. Just thought I would pass a long the info 🙂
I have a HUGE age gap between my brother and sister (10 and 13 years, respectively) and I always wanted siblings closer in age. You are totally right though, things happen when they happen and you learn to roll with the punches 🙂
Oh my gosh, she is an angel! My daughter is 16 months and I have 3 friends who had baby’s around the same time and are pregnant.. I think they are nuts! Ha ha! I’m waiting another year before we try again.. don’t know how parents of twins do it! They are saints!!
What a heavy discussion! My boss just had twins back in December, and I can’t even imagine the challenges she’s encountered!
Growing up with my little brother we fought more than we played and to this day we aren’t close. I do financially help him out and have to make sure I send him enough money to pay the rent each month. My husband isn’t close to his sister either they only see each other at family events.
I am almost 36 weeks pregnant with twins. I still have no idea how we are going to do it! I just keep believing what others have told me about not knowing any better since they are our first. I am excited that they will always have a friend and playmate. I never say never about anything, but they will likely be our only two. (the chance of having another set is too risky for me!)