Rein them (it?) in
-Livi is officially enrolled in the military system as our child. She’s legal now 😉 The good news is that she can keep going to the pediatrician we’ve been seeing, whom we all adore. She seems almost like a midwife meets pediatrician, and helped offer so many solutions to the great breastfeeding debacle of 2012. She’s kind and knowledgeable, and the thing that makes us the happiest is the way she treats Livi. She’s so delicate to her –it’s surprising how rough doctors can be with little babies- and talks to her the entire time she’s examining- Liv just looks up and coos. The doctor calls her “girlfriend” or “buddy,” takes the time to answer questions (even the first-time parent “silly” ones we may have) as is absolutely wonderful.
Liv is getting her 2 month shots tomorrow :/ We’ll probably both cry, but she’ll be in good hands and we’ll spend a snuggly and snoozy day together.
-You can kind of see it in the pic above, but Liv is still losing her hair. Word on the street is that I’m next 😉 She also has a little bit of cradle cap going on, which looks like baby dandruff- flaky skin on her scalp- so we’ve been rubbing olive oil on her head at night, since keeping the area a little moist helps with that. You can purchase baby creams for cradle cap, but the EVOO has been working wonderfully.
-Can’t wait to read this book, which I just downloaded on the Kindle:
(written by Blossom!)
Since I’m a fan of attachment parenting, I’m really excited to see what she has to say. I’m already a huge believer in babywearing- I like to believe that it makes Liv feel safe and comforted, while being able to see the world around her. I also think it’s positively affected milk production to have her so close to me. She still plays independently throughout the day (she loves her activity gym, the Baby Einstein toys in her pack n’ play from her nana- they light up and play music, or chilling and observing from the Boppy lounger), but I think babywearing is important for her development.
Another aspect of attachment parenting that I agree with: answering her needs as soon as she starts crying. One of the things that really stuck with me from The Baby Whisperer is that babies cry for a reason, not to be an inconvenience. They need food, to be burped, a fresh diaper, sleep –Liv cries big time when she’s too tired and can’t wind down- to feel loved and comforted instead of lonely, and their mother. The author of the book said that a baby’s need for their mom is just as strong as their need for food. When they are forced to cry for long periods of time, when they stop crying, it’s because they’ve given up hope that their needs will be met, or that someone will rescue them. When I read that part, it made me extremely sad. I think by trying to answer her cries as quickly as possible, it’s helped her become (for the most part) a very happy, mellow baby.
Some parts of the book that won’t be applicable to our family:
Co-sleeping. I can see why it’s a great idea, but we want to keep our bed as our bed. She’s welcome to come snuggle anytime, though 🙂
Elimination communication aka diaper-free babies. Major props to the moms who can do it and for the benefit of the environment, but it would be too much of a challenge for me with everything else involved with taking care of a newborn.
Un-schooling. This is a version of homeschooling that gives children the chance to determine their own curriculum based on their interests. It’s another interesting concept, and I’ve met a few un-schooled children, all of whom were extremely bright, but Liv will be attending school in a traditional setting.
I’m not sure how long the book will take me to finish –it’s a before bed “wind down” read- but as soon as I complete it, I’ll post a review. Please let me know if you have any other parenting book recommendations!
-Speaking of recommendations, I need a serious nursing sports bra. They don’t make the Ta-ta tamer in my size, and the ones I picked up at Target are comfy, but not enough support. Halp meeeeee……
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I don’t nurse (yet!) , but the Moving Comfort Fiona would be great for nursing. The straps are adjustable velcro in the front, so you could easily pop one (or both) sides of the top down and back up again without undoing anything else.
I agree, I was just about to suggest that bra! I don’t nurse either but it might work with the velcro straps. I buy mine from amazon 😀
Moving Comfort is the best! I have always had to double up on sports bras when running until I found moving comfort. They are really good for women that need a little more support.;) I never thought of how good they would be for nursing!
Agree on Moving Comfort Fiona! I’m a 34F & trained for 2 half marathons this fall, quite comfortably in this bra. It is amazing!
Now I’m pregnant & am happy that it will work as a nursing sports bra as well. It’s a bit pricey but well worth it.
The Moving Comfort Fiona bra was great when I was nursing. I taught Jazzercise classes for years before I had my daughter and then starting again when was a few months old. The fiona bra gave great support while I was working out (i usually pumped before class anyway to be more comfortable) and then provided easy nursing access as soon as I got home. I just had to undo the velcro strap. Title Nine sells the Fiona as their 3 reasons bra. They also hold up well and I even put them in the dryer. Best of luck finding the just right nursing sports bra for you.
amazing- i can’t wait to check it out
Elimination Communication doesn’t have to be all or nothing! You can do it as much as you like during the day or wait til the baby is older. We started when our son was 4 months old. Now at 20 months, he’s mostly potty trained, and we almost never miss a poop. I think the best benefit is that the baby is used to the potty from a very young age so going in the potty isn’t a foreign concept. I think that’s one of the hardest parts of potty training a 3 year old – getting them to be ok sitting on the potty. Just something to think about. I am so excited to start even younger when baby #2 gets here in a few months!
oh man, we “almost never” miss a poop.
This made me laugh out loud
Having never nursed or had a baby, I’m really not a lot of help in this area, BUT if you’re just looking for one that is super supportive, Under Armor makes a great one. I’m pretty blessed in the boob department and its the only one I wear now. Mine doesn’t zip, but they make some that zip in the front. Kind of expensive, but mine have all lasted forever.
http://www.underarmour.com/shop/us/en/pid1001175-001
I agree, this is THE best sports bra I have ever owned, as a full D cup this bra holds everything in place and I never have to adjust it. I have the one that zips and it is amazing. No pulling a tight sweaty bra over your face to take it off. I’m pregnant with # 2 now and I will keep wearing these as my maternity sports bra to breastfeed my baby girl at the gym. You wouldn’t have to unzip it all the way, just enough to expose the breast and it’s a REAL sports bra. Love it! Oh! And the BX on our base sells them cheaper than online or Academy etc. ; )
When I started back to working out after giving birth while nursing I just wore two sports bras at once gave great support and I didnt have to buy a bunch of new sports bras
Wow, Mayim Bialik is an impressive lady! I had no idea that she wrote a book or that she has her PhD – and she’s on the Big Bang Theory now! Not too shabby.
Just thought you should know that it’s rein, not reign. Reign is to rule over, rein is to hold or keep in control (like the reins of a horse). 🙂
Ahaha oops
I am not a big believer in Un-schooling because I think it is important for children to learn the core subjects of math, science, language, and history. I think college is the time for kids to choose curriculum that interests them. I think America is slowly but surely loosing a foot hold in this world because we don’t value education like other countries. It will be our downfall.
As someone who was un-schooled up through high school, I think there’s a strong argument for allowing students to pursue their interests rather than drilling dry concepts into their brains; my mom made sure that each week, my siblings and I checked out books on science/history/other subjects every time we went to the library, which was a great way for introducing us to subjects in a way that was interesting and relevant. Being unschooled allowed me to go through phases of intellectual interest – at 9, it was the human body, at 13 it was Russian novels (read Solzhenitsyn, Tolstoy, etc), and in ‘high school’ I read the “Principia”; being unschooled helped develop my intellectual curiosity in a way that ‘real’ school never would have allowed. It seems to have worked – we consistently places above our grade level in Iowa Basic Skill testing, and I’m now at a top ten college. A textbook isn’t the only way to learn a subject.
That sounds like a super interesting book… I’m not sure I agree with everything at all but some things, like babies cry FOR a reason makes perfect sense!
I was also interested in that book, she was just on the view and talked about some things. Although I am not a mommy right now, I love to learn about different parenting styles and opinions for when I become a mommy 🙂
I totally agree with you on the co-sleeping thing! I have a friend who is one of those “my way or the highway” types. She has co-bedded with both of her daughters, and she nagged me incessantly about the fact that I refused to do it and what I was missing out on. To each their own, but no thank you!!! I spend allll day with my daughter, and I love her immensely, but by the end of the day, I need to feel like I can toss and turn and cuddle (etc) with my husband without my mini-me attached to me.
Bonus: her excited face when I go to get her out of her crib in the morning is way better than a 6am kick in the ribs 🙂
I really like The Firm workout videos.
I’m reading the “Diaper free baby” book and I am very much looking forward to trying EC with our baby. Like someone said above, it doesn’t have to be an all or nothing business, you can do it part-time, you can try it and see how it goes, and you can start it whenever you want (but I’m guessing the earlier you start the easier).
Apparently human babies like all other babies have the instinct of staying clean, this is why new parents often get sprayed as soon as they take off their newborn’s diaper. We, in developed countries, train our babies to go in their diapers, and then a couple of years later have to train them not to go in the diaper anymore, which sounds a little counterproductive.
ECing doesn’t mean leaving the baby bare bum 24/7 and getting poop and pee everywhere, it’s about learning to recognize your baby’s cues and signs that they need to go and encouraging him/her to keep communicating with you so you can put them on the potty/toilet/sink. I’m still planning to put my baby in diapers, and see how I get on with catches while we are at home, hoping I’ll save time on baby changing, diaper washing as well as bum cleaning and bum rashes.
As for co-sleeping, another thing we are really looking forward to. Home schooling, something we might consider… taking our kids out of school for a year here and there if we fancy traveling back home (my husband is from England and I’m from France) or somewhere exotic for a while 😉
ECing is something that is completely new to me, so I definitely need to do some more research on it. But from what I’ve learned through nursing school is that a child doesn’t make the connection of “oh! i need to go to the bathroom!” until 18 months and up until then there is no connections when they need to ‘go’. They just.. ‘go’.
You would be suprised how they make the connection very young – much younger than 18 months. Look at other cultures around the world. They don’t use diapers and the babies aren’t just going to the bathroom everywhere. You have to watch them to find their cues that they need to go, but once you pick up on it, they will go when you take them. It’s something the medical society largely discounts.
Not completely true… I worked in one of these “other cultures” for 18 months. My boss had a baby that spent most of his time in the office with her because they were breastfeeding. They didn’t use diapers, or even cloth rags, and there was baby pee everywhere. I got used to stepping over puddles (and sometimes #2) . It was the same for the other little babies in the village where I lived…most little kids ran around without pants on, because when the “signs” did start presenting themselves (at age 1 and over), bathroom training involved dragging a pantsless kid outside.
Overall, I guess I would say that EC sort of works in less developed countries, as the children I saw were bathroom trained by age three. But I would also say the culture I lived in was very matter-of-fact about baby-related bodily functions, which was good, because it was a pretty messy process…
Breast milk also works great to cure cradle cap (without the oiliness). I just tried it on my little one at bath time and it cleared right up!
Coconut Oil works just as well as olive oil on the cradle cap and it smells better! It worked great for my kiddos and made them smell delicious!
I was intrigued to see the ‘un-schooling’ section in your post, being that I am a teacher. I’ve actually never heard of that – but I have heard lots about Montessori schooling. Have you heard about that type of schooling at all? It’s a little bit like what you said about the ‘un-schooling’.. it allows the child to choose what they want to learn first. It seems like a really interesting environment that some children can thrive in. You should look into it for Liv!
Montessori is awesome! I went to a Montessori preschool and kindergarten, and then traditional 1st-12th grade. Everyone that I went to Montessori with did extremely well in school, and most people were able to skip the first grade. It also helps with social developments. When my baby is old enough to go to school, if Montessori is an option, I’d love to take it.
wow, i needed some encouragement about attachment parenting just now! my little guy has put himself to sleep and slept through the night for months (but he didn’t start until around a year old) and the past week he has cried and doesn’t want me to leave the room. i don’t want to start bad habits but i definitely don’t want him to feel abandoned so i’m trying to find the balance, the “right” thing to do. parenting is hard! attachment parenting is such a joy but it can make parenting exhausting sometimes IF you’re not focusing on the right things. you helped me to find my old perspective 🙂 thanks!!
oh, and i’m sure you already know this but i have to remind myself of this all the time (like these regression times): it’s just a stage.
The UnderArmour Moxie bra is a great choice for big boobs, but it’s not actually a nursing bra. I don’t think you’re going to find a nursing bra with great support because detachable straps =!= support.
when my niece was born (a year ago…yes this was only a year ago…) i honest-to-god thought the saying was “cradle CRAP” hahaha.
What do you have to do to enroll her in the military system?
Once you get enrolled in the system, you are officially part of that military member as a dependent. It’s important not only for Tricare (health care) but also for getting assignments, etc. When assignment orders are generated, each family member is attached to those orders. Dependents also affect housing allowance rates, etc. One of my friend’s husband just got orders to Germany, and after he finishes his training, they have one month to leave before her doctor won’t allow her to fly before giving birth. If he gets orders in time, their two kids and my friend will be on the orders. If she has to stay and have the baby here, the orders will have to be amended after the baby comes, they have to wait for the birth certificate, get medically cleared (both of them), and wait for the military passport, which they can’t get until after the birth certificate comes.
It’s very complicated at times but essential.
So basically, when the child is enrolled in the system and the parent who is in the military gets orders, the new base is aware that the couple has children because their names are on the orders. So the base can give them the proper amenities?
If you find a really supportive nursing sports bra, please share! I’m getting a little desperate 🙂
I went to Marshall’s and found some sports bras that were more v-neck, so I could just pull one side out when I needed to nurse. They were Marika brand and worked well, but I also heard good thins about the moving comfort Fiona bra. It’s adjustable and you can I strap one side as needed. Good luck on the search.
I like the la leche league international pull over sports bra. But I still have to hold the girls down when I do jump too much. I had never really heard about this whole elimination business… Hmmm…
I’m aggressively nodding over here. Especially about babies crying for a reason and needing mother’s attention. Attachment Theory has been proven time and time again–babies need their mamas!! It makes me so happy to read your plans for Olivia! Keep up the great work. 🙂
I got some GREAT industrial strength nursing sports bras from Motherhood Maternity. My girls were huuuuge (36DD pre-nursing!) and I wore it constantly. It was such a smart design, comfortable and super supportive. And the prices can’t be beat. Good luck!!
Check out Title Nine’s website!! They have the BEST selection of sports bras and give a great description of each model
I’m super excited to read your review of the book! (btw, have you seen her play Amy Ferrah Fowler on Big Bang Theory? Soooo hilarious!)
no, i’ve never seen that- i’ll have to dvr it 🙂
She is AWESOME on Big Bang Theory!
I agree she is hands down the funniest female on that show!
She is the funniest female on any show in my opinion 🙂
Agreed, she is totally awesome on BBT !!
No kids yet, but I’m a 34DD and LOVE the Moving Comfort Fiona Bra. It has an adjustable velcro strap, and I can see how easy it would be to pull it off to nurse and then close it back up.
http://www.movingcomfort.com/Fiona/350003,default,pd.html
I never did find a sports bra that was comfortable enough for running…things were just too tender to be squished and packed in too tightly 🙂
Glad Liv’s official now. Health insurance and benefits are HUGE!
Hi Gina! I haven’t commented for a few weeks as I’ve been busy wrapped up in my own precious bundle! Stella was born two weeks late (can you imagine going that far over?!) but on the upside it meant her bday was Valentine’s Day which is cute! Don’t you think being a mum makes all the colours of life brighter? This is the most magic time & I’ve loved reading your family blogs sharing your joy!
And I agree with the others – moving comfort bras were made for us! Thank god we have them in Aus too.
PS major props to you blogging so consistently, babies steal so much of your time I don’t know how you do it but I’m so glad you do xx
Hey Gina,
I am loving reading your family update posts!
One book which left a huge impression on me was The Continuum Concept. I found it so thoughtful and also relevant to overall lifestyle too.
I am so happy to read you respond to your baby’s cries. It breaks my heart when I hear people say “Baby’s need to cry” or “You are spoiling the baby by responding to every cry”. Even my husband’s grandparents think I am spoiling my kids by not letting them cry. Needless to say, they will never be babysitters for us.
LOVE the pic of you and Liv, thank you for sharing pics of you guys with the blog world 🙂
I hope shots go okay. If I were you, I would nurse before during and after the shots, research says doing so makes shots more comfortable for baby.
Let us know how the book goes, it sounds interesting!
BTW, I watched your Youtube video post, how funny is it now to watch you shaking it when you were so pregnant, now that you are not? I would love to be able to move like you!
Gina,
I went to a good running store (Fleet Feet) and had them fit me with a good sports bra when I was nursing. Something with a lot of support but not too smooshy and easy to take off and on if I needed to. It helped that the salesperson had two young children of her own. I tried on several but ended up with two. I think one of them is a Champion and they are so comfy. So much support. I would recommend trying on several to see which one best suits you.
I haven’t read this yet but it’s on my list to read. I’ve heard it’s a good one.
Simplicity Parenting by Kim John Payne:
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0345507983/ref=as_li_ss_tl?ie=UTF8&tag=thecompguidto-20&linkCode=as2&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=0345507983
Is it just me or do these posts just keep getting better and better? Thanks for that.
aww thank you 🙂
As a soon to be first time mom, they are definitly getting better and better!!
I had to wear a regular nursing bra and a sports bra when I was doing high impact activity with the first two. With #3 I have been unable to find a sports bra that fits right, regular bras are a big hassle for me too since my band size is 32 but my cup size is ridiculous. I’m ready for the girls to return to a normal size so I can just go to Victoria’s Secret and pick up a bra once again.
We practice a lot of the tenets of attachment parenting, I’ve never been able to pick up EC though. I used to worry about it, but I made myself stop, I do enough as it is no need to beat myself up for not doing it all. For me co-sleeping has been the only way that I’ve been able to get any sleep while the children are young because of how often they nursed. Our oldest boy co-slept with me until he was almost 5, #2 & #3 still sleep with us (both still nursing) they will be 3 and 1 in the next few weeks. The oldest boy is 11.5 years now and at times he’ll pull his mat into our room and lay it down by ours.
Babies may cry for a reason, but they also need to develop independence at some point. Your daughter is probably still a little young, but obviously children need to learn coping skills that DON’T involve their parents. This does and should actually start at a young age. Self soothing is a very important skill, so it is key, as your baby grows, to stop responding immediately to her every whim. As long as you are taking care of the basics and being a loving parent, there is no harm in allowing children to cry for a bit.
Rebecca, I agree! I’m a first-timer commenter (just discovered your blog a few weeks ago, Gina, and I’m really enjoying it!) but I was going to chime in on this crying/sleep training business. I too felt very strongly about not letting baby cry when my daughter was a newborn and up until about 5 months of age or so. And it’s true, when they are that young, there is just about no way they are crying for anything other than a true need. But I started to feel differently when my daughter began waking throughout the night randomly (not hungry, she’d been off nightfeeds of her own volition since 3 mo of age) and needing the pacifier back, etc. I began to feel differently about the need for her to learn some self-soothing skills as she got older. I chose to use Cry It Out sleep training once she was about 6 months old and I can say I have never regretted it. I did a lot of reading, thinking, and planning before I embarked on it. It was certainly very difficult to implement; no parent likes to hear their child cry for any reason. But I believed it was the best choice for our entire family to get quality rest! We persevered and my daughter is a fantastic little sleeper to this day (she is almost 3 yrs old now). It’s not for every family (and some babies miraculously seem to never even need it!), and it’s certainly a very personal choice – but it worked out very well for us. Just wanted to chime in, and mention that it’s perfectly ok to view some things differently as your daughter grows and changes. We are allowed to change our minds (-: I know I did! Sorry for writing a book, ha. I’m pregnant with #2 now (due May 4!) so I’ve got all things baby on my mind now.
you’re totally right, things will change as she gets older and we need to change what we’re doing along the way
My daughter had severe cradle cap and Aquaphor works wonders!! V
I’m curious to know if your ped recommended the oil for Livi’s cradle cap or if you heard it from somewhere else? I spoke to 2 pediatricians and a nurse about my son’s cradle cap (because it was so persistent) and they said the oil actually tricks the body into thinking that it’s producing too much moisture in the scalp and actually makes the dryness worse. They told me it would go away on its own with regular baths and brushing with his baby brush. It didn’t. We didn’t want to get the prescription shampoo, and my pediatrician recommended gently stroking his head with my nails to loosen up the skin. I know Livi’s crown is still soft and delicate, but it’s something to think about if you hadn’t heard it already…
A little off topic but do you have recommendations for good underwear (thongs) for workouts. I rarely wear my nice workout pants bc I like normal undies, but would love ones that I forget about and so can wear my cute workout clothes.
i wear the lululemon thongs to workout- they’re amazing
2 month shots are NO JOKE! prepare for a super cranky baby and probably a little fever. poor girl, it won’t be fun!
i was ready for it, but she was just superrrrrr sleepy all day today. she snoozed most of the day, just waking up to eat and hang out for a second, then back to sleep. i’m thankful she wasn’t cranky at all
i heard 4 month shots are worse though :/
You look really good Gina! PS: late on the subject but I loved that video of you rocking out at zumba with your pregnant belly!
Gina, How often do you wear Livi? I have a 2 week old and have been wearing him more and more recently. However, I’ve started to notice that the more I wear him the less he wants to be put down when I need to be completely hands free. Any tips?