I’ve definitely created a monster with the whole baby book thing. I’ve read so many, and continue to read as many as I can. Like I said before, I definitely won’t know what to *really* do or what works for our family until the little Nuggette makes her appearance, but in the meantime, I like to educate myself as much as possible.
First were the pre-conception and prepare my body for baby books
then the pregnancy books
and then the childcare books
and now I’m starting to think about the actual act of parenting. I’ll probably be reading until she’s in college 😉
Of course, we want our little girl to grow up to be kind, giving, smart and do what’s *right*, but besides obviously leading by example, what are some other parenting resources?
We already started to discuss the issue of punishment and teaching right from wrong, etc. What worked for me when I was younger was when my parents would take something away from me. Spanking only lasted a second –to which I would yell “that didn’t hurt!” and run away. What a little punk- but when my favorite toys were taken away from me (which later turned into having to miss plans with friends, cell phone or TV taken away), it taught me that my actions had consequences. I also discovered the “time out corner” from Supernanny.. does anyone else use that strategy?
I think that the types of books we read to our daughter will also help instill some positive messages with her. I found this one at Ventana yesterday- it will be awesome to read when she’s younger, and I LOVE the message.
1. Share the Good
2. Find What You Love
3. You are Filled with Love
4. Find a Quiet Place Inside
5. Make Today Great!
6. Change Your Thoughts to Good
7. Take Care of Yourself
8. Picture What You Want
9. Everyone Is Special, Especially You
10. Good Thoughts Give You Energy
It has a list of 10 different things to “let your greatness shine through”, including envisioning what you want to truly be and what your goals are, acting with kindness, giving to others, loving yourself and making today great. All things that I truly believe in. I also like the fact that it deals with bullies by saying “you can’t control what others do or say.”
Do you know of any other children’s books with great messages, or parenting resources?
Parents, what’s your #1 parenting tip?
And, just for fun, here are 10 things to never say to a pregnant woman, from *this page*:
1) Any and all comments about how big she is. If you’re going to say anything about her appearance, it should be along the lines of, "Honey, you look gorgeous!" Don’t compliment her on her lack of weight gain either– err on the side of good manners and don’t comment on her size at all. Here are some of the rude comments pregnant women often hear about their weight:
- "Oh my God, are you having twins?"
- "You’re only seven months along? Geez!"
- "Wow, that baby’s going to pop out at any minute!"
- "You know, my sister only gained 20 pounds when she was pregnant."
- "Oooo, your booty’s getting big!"
2) "Can I touch your belly?" Don’t even ask. The answer is NO. Since when did it become okay to touch strangers? If the pregnant woman is a close friend or relative, it may be appropriate to ask, but never touch without permission.
3) ‘Oh my God, you’re having another baby?" It doesn’t matter if this is baby #4 or baby #14. Congratulate her and keep the snarky comments to yourself.
4) Any and all unsolicited advice about baby names. If she asks you if you prefer Molly or Madeline, then tell her. If not, compliment her on her name choice (and if you hate it, smile and nod). All of the following comments are inappropriate:
- "You’re naming her Molly? I prefer Madeline."
- "Aiden? Wow, that’s such a trendy name."
- "Arwyn? Well, that’s… different."
- "Don’t you think you should name your son after your grandfather?"
5) "Are you going to get him circumcised?" This is only an appropriate question if you know the woman well. You wouldn’t ask a stranger about her husband’s genitalia. Why would you ask about her son’s?
6) "You’re not going to eat that, are you?" Let the lady eat her brownie in peace. And spare her lectures about the dangers of blue cheese or honey or fish or whatever it is that you heard on the news. She’s not a child, so don’t tell her what to eat.
7) "Did you use fertility drugs?" This is a question pregnant women get if they’re 42 or if they’re having multiples. If she wants to share this information with you, she will, but it’s not polite to ask people about the contents of their medicine cabinet. Besides, does it matter? However it happened, she’s pregnant.
8) "Was this an oops?" The only person who should be asking this question is an OB– or maybe a woman’s best friend or mother.
9) "So do you have hemorrhoids? Mine were just awful." Lots of pregnant women love to share details about their icky pregnancy symptoms, but many do not, especially with strangers. A simple, "How are you feeling?" is sufficient.
10) "So this is your first? Oh my God, with my first, I had horrible back labor for THIRTY hours, and then I needed a C-section and was in pain for WEEKS and the baby didn’t sleep through the night until she was two years old…" You get the idea. She’ll know soon enough what labor feels like, poor thing, so spare her the horror stories.
My personal fave: comments about how big she/her belly is. If I had a dollar for every time someone said “Wow, that’s going to be a big baby!” or “You’re so big! Not you, your belly.”……