Away from my beeb for the first time
When I first had Liv, as coincidence would have it, I suddenly started to get invited for more and more out-of-town blog events, all expenses covered.
As tempting as it sounded, especially the ability to sleep peacefully on an airplane, I couldn’t do it.
I knew if I went away she would be absolutely fine with Tom (plus we’re so lucky to have my mom and nana to lend a hand when we need it) but the magnet I felt attaching me to her kept me declining anything that would have me spend more than a night without her in the room next to me.
Maybe it had a little bit to do with my postpartum anxiety, but I think it had everything to do with the fact that I just wasn’t ready to leave. I didn’t want to miss a second of her growing, a good snuggle, even a rough night, and was also worried about keeping up my milk supply with the pumping/breastfeeding rendezvous. I wasn’t ready.
When I got the phone call asking me to be a ZOOMA ambassador and run the Cape Cod race in September, I debated it for a while and reminded ZOOMA that I’m not a hardcore runner and just wanted to get back into casually running. I figured that at one point or another, I’d have to get back in the swing of occasional blog trips. I don’t consider them “work trips” because they’re something I enjoy and I’m never required to go, but I like to attend different events and meet new people. I figured it would be good for me to finally say yes, after almost a year of “no’s,” so I accepted.
Sure enough, September was here before I knew it, I’m no longer breastfeeding (even though I would love to still be, I pumped until I had nothing left), and I feel like I can handle missing Liv for a few nights. I’ve been really excited about seeing Cape Cod, getting some down time -I joked with Tom that when I wasn’t running I was going to hibernate in my hotel and sleep with my eye mask on- and then last week, it hit me like a ton of bricks. I was walking through Basha’s, grabbing some grocery essentials, when I felt tears coming from nowhere.
I’m sure many moms can relate, but it’s not worrying about her being ok, because I know she will be. It’s just that after spending 8+ months (plus the time in utero) with her, I’ll miss having my little buddy close to me.
I’m fortunate that I’m able to spend so much time at home and am lucky I’ve been able to wait this long before spending a little time away. I know many moms with full-time jobs have to travel for work soon after having a baby, so I’m not trying to complain. I figure 4 days is just enough time for me to feel refreshed, and very ready to come home.
Any moms have tips for making it a little easier?
I’m sure I’ll be distracted all weekend, but
I’m excited.
I’m sad.
I’m planning on sleeping a ton, too.
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Good for you for getting some relaxation and you time! I hope you enjoy it! I’m not a mom so I don’t feel that separation thing but it sounds completely normal to me. I’m sure when I have a baby I wont want to leave him/her either!
To be honest, it never gets easy. I have a 6 and 3 year old and I still struggle to spend even a night away. There are days when I feel like exhausted — physically and mentally — and I feel like I need some time away, but when I take it, the feeling of missing everyone is so strong! Good luck and HAVE a BLAST knowing that Liv will be well cared for! That is the only thing that keeps me strong on my trips.
TOTALLY normal. I didn’t go away for business either until Maya was 8 months old. And this spring I went to a wedding in Mass. that my husband couldn’t come to so he stayed here with her and I was gone for two nights. I missed her (well, and hubby and pup) but it was really nice to fly alone!!! Something peaceful about it …carrying Starbucks and a book …. no diaper bag, pump bag etc … til I saw a mom w/ a baby in a stroller and got pangs of guilt. The thing is, it’s good for us to get away … healthy, even — but it isn’t as easy as I would have thought!! Now at 21 months I feel less sad about a night away. I think time changes that. I hope you have an amazing time and enjoy the sleep and peace!! 🙂 And you’ll come back rejuvenated. The mom hat never comes off … she’ll always know you’re there. We did talk on the phone and that helped-so does Skype. Even just a quick hi. ENJOY. Cape Cod is gorgeous!
yes i do have to say flying has been so relaxing thus far. i slept on the first flight, the entire time. it was GLORIOUS 🙂
hope you have a great weekend!
Yes, sleep lots!! 😉
I have to agree with the commentor above..it never really gets easier. I have a 2 1/2 year old and a 10 year old, and if it’s more than one night (which I think we’ve done once since the 2 1/2 year old was born) I miss them like crazy.I know it’s different for every mom, but I think it’s just part of my anxiety I have that I don’t enjoy being separated from the kiddos too long. It will be so good for you though, so try to enjoy, relax and feel good knowing Liv gets to spend extra one-on-one time with her dad and other relatives.
Gah! I feel ya girl. My son is 6 1/2 months and he has never been away from me for a real significant amount of time. People give me grief a lot about not letting him spend the night with grandparents and such, but I just can’t. I’m not ready.
Maybe you and Tom could Skype or something so you and baby girl can see each other (it would be fun to see how she reacts seeing mommy in a screen). Plus, not that you ever take her for granted -I know you don’t- but maybe being away from her a few days will make you appreciate every little thing about her even more. Not to mention how exciting it’ll be to come home and see her go crazy when she sees your face again!! 🙂
I don’t have any kids, but I do miss my dogs when I travel for work. I think I’ll have to make a career change when I do have kids since I travel now about once a month.
You may have already planned on this, but FaceTime might help.
I always make I have plenty of pictures of my husband and dogs on my phone too. That way when I get sad I can look at them. For me the worst part is the plane there. Once I land I’m usually busy ( as it sounds like you will be) and on the way back I’m just happy to be headed back.
yeah FaceTime definitely needs to happen!
and same way with the dogs, we always miss bella so much when we don’t see her
xoxo
I just left my “baby”, who just turned 2, for the first time last weekend. I had a work conference and was super anxious about it. I was gone 3 days and was definitely missing him like crazy by the last day and ready to come home, but it was easier than I expected! I slept a ton and it felt great. THe look on their faces when they see you again is amazing! And it definitely helps when you have family taking care of them. My mom helped my husband for the weekend and I felt so much better leaving him. Good luck, supermama!
thank you!! i’m glad to know you had a great time and it went well for you <3
and yes, having the fam around is a huge comfort, even though i know tom will take wonderful care of her
xoxo
Have a great flight, relax and enjoy. Yes- completely normal. Three kids and I miss them like crazy every time I have to travel. If you don’t give back to yourself though you won’t have anything to give your family.
If I have a free minute- I would love to pop over and say hello. Enjoy the Cape. The weather is crisp and cool. Perfect fall weather.
let me know if you do! i’ll be around tonight and tomorrow until 11 or so <3
No tips for you other than to just realize that you deserve to do some ‘fun’ stuff, some trips and out of town events, that will help nourish your spirit and help you professionally with connections and networking, so just try to enjoy – but I didn’t leave my ‘baby’ til she was 3+ yrs and I was a mess the first time I did it! lol
It’s never easy to leave, but it IS healthy and I promise you absence makes the heart grow fonder (for both of you). Just enjoy your time away – you don’t get it often! I find dwelling on how far apart I am from my kids makes the trip seem longer (even if I really want to be there) and it keeps me from having a good time. Instead, get caught up in the moment – and yes, SLEEP. Have a fun trip and good luck on your race!
My little one is just 9 days old! The thought go being away from him 3 days a week when I got back to work makes my heart hurt! I’m looking forward to hearing how you do on the trip!
oh my goodness!! little guy! congratulations 🙂
My eight year old is attending her first slumber party tonight. She’s only had overnighters with grandparents so I’m a wreck, and Brenna is totally stoked! She can’t wait to be away from home. It doesn’t get easier, but for good reason. They are like nature’s best friends. It will take a few hours, but you will start to enjoy resting and having quiet without having one ear & eye open for Liv. Mommies never fully and totally fall asleep for a year, I think. Always listening and watching for our little ones.
Have fun! I just bought a bike to cruise around with my 8 and 6 year old. I’m so excited!
thank you! i can’t believe she’s going on her first sleepover. and it’s crazy to think it will be that time for me before i know it! you’re exactly right about always having an eye and ear open
hope you have a great weekend!
Good for you for just doing it. I know this’ll be hard for me too, but I want to try to make myself do it before the first year is up because I think it’s important. Plus, Olivia will be wanting to spend the night at friend’s houses (or Grandma’s house, aw) before you know it and at least you’ll have had a little practice at spending a night or two without her again!
I feel you!
Luckily, it seems like you will have plenty of distractions around. And also great that you have the peace of mind knowing she’s in EXCELLENT hands.
We left Eli for the first time in August, and it was actually not as rough as I thought it would be. The wine helped, though 🙂
Enjoy yourself! Get some rest! Have fun!
PS – It was ironic though that I only got one real full night’s sleep while we were away. I kept waking up around 1-2am thinking I heard him crying…
First off, you will love Cape Cod! (I live there and its beautiful this time of year) Second, I have been away twice since my daughter (who is now one) was born. Once for a nice when she was around 10 months and again the night before her birthday party so my husband and I could prepare. It was difficult both times. Its a double edged sword ,because its really important to have a little breather and time to yourself . That doesn’t change the fact that you miss them like crazy though! Have fun this weekend and before you know it you will be on the plane home to your beautiful little girl and the pilot!
I echo many when I say, good for you for taking the plunge! Hard as it can be to leave and to be apart a few days, I wholeheartedly believe it is also SO GOOD for both mom and baby/kid to have those short times of separation. And returning home is awesome – everyone is so excited to see each other, it’s very sweet!
All moms are different, that’s what’s great about it. See, I can’t personally relate to the ones posting that it’s still so, so hard to leave for a night or two with kids that are older than baby stage. When I’ve left my daughter, it was with trusted close family like my sister, grandma/grandpa, or my husband. So everyone is very happy with the arrangement, which gives me full freedom to enjoy and revel in my time away! I know for me personally, time away here and there makes me a better, more relaxed, more well-rounded mom. Certainly it’s not that way for everyone, but for me, this is true.
Breastfeeding didn’t work out for me with either of my girls, so we left our older daughter overnight with my sister when daughter was just 5 months old. It was for an anniversary overnight. Yes, I missed her fiercely, but at the same time I absolutely basked in my (brief) relaxing freedom. And we have left her for a night here and there ever since – grandparents love it (-: Haven’t left younger daughter (almost 5 months now) yet, but we will when we get the chance to.
Again, good for you! Have a wonderful time, and enjoy lots and lots of sleep and relaxation (-; Turn that mom-dar to low for a couple days, ha!
I can imagine the million conficting emotions! When Tripp was born, I thought – no way, I can’t go back to work. Impossible. I still don’t want to, and I’m very lucky that I don’t *have* to and have a husband that supports that. His Nana recently asked if we could work out an arrangement to have her watch him 1 day a week – which I think will be good for both of us, but I definitely needed to wait a few months before even thinking about being away from him for a whole day. I’m sure I’ll enjoy my long runs sans jogging stroller and naps that are more than 20 minutes. 🙂
you will! for a long time, i felt guilty about having my mom or nana watch liv while i worked out or ran an errand, but then i realized that it’s good for me, and they love it so much. good things all around 🙂
My mom and grandmom were talking about something like this last time I was home, and my mom said “Having kids is like having your heart walking around outside your body.” I guess it never goes away. I can’t wait to have babies and experience all the fun and even the crazy emotions! I hope you are able to enjoy yourself some at least while on this trip! Cape Cod is neat.
It never gets easy my kids are 6 & 7 I can’t be away from them more than a night I get anxiety ! College ought to be a blast!!
i’m already scared about that haha
Olivia is so stinkin lucky to have such deeply loving parents as yourselves. Go and enjoy some You time, She’ll be waiting for you when you get back. Safe travels!
thank you, lovely <3
You will love it though. Cape cod (or “the cape” as it is known to us locals) is GEORGOUS!!! I wish I could be there!
My daughter is 10.5 months, and the longest I’ve been away from her is 2 nights. I have actually grown to be ok with that…I live my daughter to death but it’s healthy for me to have a little time off every once in awhile.
However, soon I will be going to England for work for a whole MONTH. I have no idea what I’m going to do away from her for so long! 🙁
No tips as I’m not a mama myself, but just a reminder to embrace and enjoy this opportunity. Be present, be joyful and be thankful for this awesome experience! Aaaaand, then return home to your sweet little beeb and hug, kiss and snuggle her as you reflect on it all. Happy weekend, Gina! 🙂
When I travel for work I send my boys a post card. They love getting mail of their own!
Just do it and don’t think too much about it. It will be great! By the time you get back, you will miss her terribly and be ready for those snuggles. The time away is so good for you and returning home is so sweet!
I don’t have any tips but I am a mom to a 8.5 month old baby girl and I haven’t left her yet. I’m a stay at home mom so when I do leave her for a few hours with the grandparent’s, I get anxiety, 🙁 her & I are attached at the hip! 😉 I’ve enjoyed reading all the comments above and advice from others moms.
Enjoy your time & have a great weekend! 🙂
It sounds bad, but the only way I can have a good time away is to not think about my baby at all. If I think about him, I miss him and feel guilty. If I focus on myself and keep myself busy, I have a much better time, and the time away isn’t wasted by worrying!
I left my 4 month old for the first time this week. We are heading to his grammy’s house to pick him up soon and I’ll probably get a speeding ticket and then run sobbing into his arms (except not because he doesn’t recognize me yet). But maybe you will feel accomplished for “breaking the seal” like we did. Good job, mama!
It never gets easier! Im starting to get anxiety thinking about a trip to Vegas for our anniversary in 2 weeks and my son is 3! I havent had a night away from him since we got married in Vegas when he was 13 months old. I even feel guilty when I take a trip to the mall by myself lol 🙂
I think it stays difficult but does get easiER but it takes a LONG time. It’s in our cells. We just physically need to be near them until they’re pretty much self-sufficient, which is why we’re not extinct, I guess!
It’s like the first time you leave them to go back to work or leave them at school. Eventually, it gets routine and it’s ok, even though you miss them. It’s good for them, too, that distance.
I just noticed your logo update with the “+baby” super cute! Love it!
I came back to read this and your post-trip write up because I’m leaving this Friday for 4 days and my heart hurts just thinking about it. I know I’ll have a fantastic time (laying on the beach in the Bahamas with college girlfriends) and Patrick will take such good care of Tripp, but I already miss him!
your heart will definitely hurt, but you’ll have such a great time. SLEEP!!! it will be glorious 🙂
xoxo