Babies and Technology
This commercial made me cry.
And then moments later, I checked my Facebook and had received a friend request from a recently born baby girl. Her parents set up an account for her so that distance friends and family could keep up with what she’s up to. I thought it was an awesome idea, since the parents would be posting info to the baby’s Facebook page instead of their own, but at the same time, it made me wonder how much is a good idea to put *out there* before the child has a say in it. Or when they’re finally old enough to use Facebook, having their entire life already on their profile, which mom and dad wrote out for them.
I’ve been thinking a lot about babies/kids and technology lately. We already decided that our baby won’t become the focus of the blog –it works for many people, but I don’t feel comfortable posting a lot of pictures of someone without their permission or knowledge of what’s going on- so we’ll most likely only post occasional pictures of her. Instead, I’ll be using events and adventures to inspire topics on the family page, as I have this entire time. As far as other aspects of social media go, it’s a challenging line to walk.
As weird as it is to see status updates from kids that obviously can’t type or read yet, it also bums me out to read updates from friends that are entirely about their babies or children. Yes, children become a HUGE part of your life, and everyone wants to hear the deets on the day they were born, first word, first time they slept through the night, pictures of the baby, etc., but the contents of their diaper for the day? Notsomuch.
So here’s what I’m thinking may work:
-Wait until she can actually use Facebook to allow her to set up an account – and apply the super-lockdown privacy settings
-Post occasional updates on our own personal Facebook pages, while trying not to go overboard [I can see how this would be difficult]
What do you think about babies/kids and social media? Set up their own accounts, or leave it to the parents until they’re old enough? What do you think the line is between informing the family of milestones and information overload?
Of course, different things work best for different families but I’d love to hear what you think.
64 Comments
Leave a Comment
This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.
I’m not really down with parents setting up FB pages for their kids, but I did read this article today that make me giggle:
http://www.slate.com/blogs/browbeat/2011/10/14/_irisgrim_on_twitter_follow_friday.html
Basically, these parents set up a Twitter account for their baby, but they use it to be funny (not to necessarily post updates about the kid’s development). Silly, but kind of cute!
my sister and BIL got a gmail account for my niece so they had it secured for when she would be old enough to use it. also to be able to send her letters that they could read to her for important events. they didnt set up a facebook account for her, and post mobile uploads of her occasionally. i dont think ive ever seen a status update from them about her, actually (that’s what im for!). it definitely is a tricky area…
I’ve heard of setting up an email account to send emails to your child too, that’s not a terrible idea…. You do run the risk of a hacker, but I kind of like the idea. Plus you could record important events on a gmail calendar if you wanted.
I always wondered how to approach this topic, honestly. I get scared. I like how “laid back” your feelings are about it (not that you’re personal approach is laid back though! don’t get me wrong 😉 ) but I love how you know what you’re going to do and just go with it… Honestly? this stuff freaks me out!!! So thanks for this post!!! I agree with you about ALL THE baby posts and topics! While I LOVE baby updates and adorable baby pictures (Dying to see yours soon enough!!) I cannot stand to be overwhelmed with A TON of it on facebook… ’nuff said! Don’t like setting up accounts for babies when they can’t talk… Not even funny in my opinion, but if people do, to each their own!
I’m impressed with how relaxed and flexible you seem about this all! Can’t wait to see your little peanut however 🙂
It scares me that so much info is given out about children. As a mother who had a crazy guy follow my daughter home from school (he got caught thank goodness) I am against it. I like your ideas of an occasional post but a facebook page…Not so much. Maybe get the facebook page if you want to secure the name for the future. Everyone has to do what they feel is best. It seems like different communities and lifestyles are playing a part in those decisions. JMPO.
Personally, I don’t think it’s a big deal when they are that young. Maybe when they get into Kindergarten, and they kinda understand what it means to have your life out there online…then I would leave it up to them. I would never put a Facebook page up for them though. I think a blog is different however. The decision is ultimately up to the parent 🙂
I have a friend that has a private blog of her kids. It’s a great way for family and friends to stay updated, and the mom uses it as the kids’ baby book. I think the blog is great b/c people can choose to read up on it as they wish. She posted monthly updates on all the growth developments through the 1st year and stuff like ‘H eats avocado now.’ I think it’s hard as a parent not to talk all about your kids, and people close to you will love hearing all the gritty details.
Oh Gina, I feel so strong on this topic. I have a 9 year old and a 2 year old. My 9 year old has a cell phone, very simple, and he can only call me or his dad on it, and that’s only if I allow him to go to the store. HE has a gmail account, but I monitor it. He knows this. He will not be getting a facebook until he is 16. Matter fact he will not be getting any kind of social account, until he’s AT LEAST 16.
As for the 2 year old, she has nothing, and the same rules apply to her! As far as my blog and what not. I may post a picture here and there about them, because my family encompasses me, but not so much. I refuse to get totally consumed by my offspring. They are a part of me, but I can’t forget ME. In the beginning it was easy to do that.
As a result my health, my weight, my own social life suffered. It wasn’t worth it in the long run. If I want to be around to see my little darlings have little darlings of their own, I need to have a life too. So that’s just the decision I made for me.
Some of my friends say Im old fashion, but I honestly don’t think I am. I live in a big city and Im only 34 years old, so I dont think Im being overly cautious. I know about and see all the threats that are out there. As a parent, Im not going to do anything willingly to expose my children to the beast which is the world wide web. A blessing and a curse, that’s what the web is. My children are only blessings!
I love the google chrome advert about the dad who sends emails and pictures to an account he set up especially for his child – that makes me well up with tears too, it’s such a beautiful, sentimental idea! <3 That would be a wonderful, private and personal thing to do, and one I would love to do myself when/if I do eventually have a baby <3 xyx
I think people that want every little detail of the child’s life will know about it because they will be involved enough to know without FB, even if it is just because they call every day. I think milestones and exciting things are fun to report, but I hate when people go overboard with things like what was in their diaper, or what they eat for every meal. I also hate when parents post pictures of graphic injuries. A friend of mine let her one year old play on a treadmil unattended. He stuck his fingers under the belt and had to get skin grafts. She posted pictures of the injury, the process of the skin graft, and what it looked like after. For some reason I find things like that very innapropriate. But I do get that you are excited about every little thing as parents, and it may be hard not to overshare.
Loved the ad….Hi Gina – Rob and I are back from Punta Cana – It was fab…and I just finished pouring over your posts…CA-RAZEE how you’ve blossomed in 1 week! Really – you look radiant, and I totally missed reading your blog! LOL – Rob would be “Um…what?”
Anyway – your as precious as ever hope your feeling great!
Natasha
I’ve never heard first-hand of parents making a FB for their baby, but I can see how it’s a trend in today’s tech-driven world. I’m not sure I’d do it, but I do think there’s a way to go about it tastefully/non-invasively, as you described above. I was just listening to a podcast on my run this morning about how addicted people are to their smart phones (i.e., something in the brain equates getting emails/tweets/etc. with your phone, causing the constant phone checking). I know I’m guilty of this, so it makes me wonder how addicted/robotic the next generation will be. Thinking of that makes we NOT want to expose my future children to the reigns of technology and social media too early. It’s important to teach kids to use technology wisely, and part of that involves first-hand experience. So I think a well-monitored FB account/cell phone/etc. could be a good thing for an older child or pre-teen. But that’s just my two cents. =)
FYI, that’s supposed to say, “something in the brain equates getting emails/tweets/etc. with positive feelings, causing the constant phone checking.”
I think making a Facebook account for your baby is a little much but I LOVE the idea of emailing my future children about their life updates like Google Chrome did in Dear Sophie! So adorable! If I’m still blogging when I have kids, (which I hope to be) they will probably be a big focus on my blog, just because my boyfriend is already such a big focus on my blog, its part of my life, but I’d try to not overexpose them. It does seem like a very hard line to balance.
My daughter spent 3 months in the NICU after she was born. Facebook was an incredibly handy way to relay new information, updates and pictures to concerned family, friends and co-workers. I never made her an individual profile or sent out updates pretending to be her. It was just health updates and NICU pics for the first few months and then normal mom updates once we brought her home (no diaper contents).
I think you should feel free to talk about your daughter as much or as little as you and your husband are comfortable with, but since this is a lifestyle blog about your daily happenings, I’m sure most of your readers will understand if you do talk a lot about her. Look at YHL – they have a home improvement blog and there are pictures and mentions of Clara in just about every post. It’s not obnoxious – it’s just what happens when you have kids!!
Love that commercial! Between that one and the “Parisian Love” one, Google has certainly found a way to tug a people’s heartstrings.
But I totally agree with you on the Facebook front. There’s a difference between cute milestone updates posted by parents and creating a page just for the baby. The line needs to be drawn somewhere. I don’t think I would’ve wanted my entire baby book and photo album on the Internet 27 years ago, so I won’t be putting our little one’s every move on my FB page.
Besides, which of my friends and acquaintances really want to know how big of bowel movement my daughter just had?
I said I wasn’t going to put pics of my baby on my blog but I am so proud, I love showing her off! 😉 even have one up today! I try ot to do it too much, once a week or so and I post her little dishes now, seems to be popular. As for fb, I am always posting pics for family and friends who don’t see her often. They appreciate it, 🙂
But she doesn’t have her own page! Just on my page! 🙂
A tiny bit off the topic of babies and social media, but related to babies and tech. It’s so crazy to think about how intuitive tech has become for babies.
Check this out: http://mashable.com/2011/10/13/baby-magazine-ipad/
I completely agree with your decision and know it is what I would do, too. Also, can I admit that I cry every time I see that commercial, without fail? I think it’s because it’s the dad. I’m such a daddy’s girl. 😉
P.S. I have an idea for a potential meet up in November if you’d be up for it (closer to T-town than P-town). I’ll email you details soon!
YES please! i’ve missed you 🙂
I agree with you. I think there’s a healthy balance between integrating a baby into your life and letting parenthood completely take over everything– including your Facebook.
And I think babies having their own Facebook account is a little weird. I too recently got a Facebook request from a baby… who hadn’t even been born yet.
I’m almost positive she didn’t set up her account en utero.
I agree with you…I don’t think a baby should have a Facebook account. That is just too much. Perhaps if ONLY family could see the page, but it sounds like everyone might be able to see it? I try to keep my blog mostly about myself, but about once a week I throw in some parenting tidbits or some funny stories about my kids. I’m pretty sure they don’t want to read it years later and be totally embarrassed…maybe just a little 😉
I find the idea of setting up a baby a facebook account really weird, plus, by the time they’d be old enough to set up their own account (aged 13) facebook may not even exist anymore! A lot can happen in 13 years.
For sharing updates with family and close friends, if you make a list of only people who’d be interested in baby updates, then you can share them with only those people. Google+ does this a lot better with ‘circles’ though.
My aunt set up a facebook said for my cousin who’s two and a half now. She did it so that our family could see all her photos without her clogging up her own facebook stream. My aunt doesn’t really post coz status updates though, and only family get added to be her friend and she has all the security settings on. My mum absolutely loves it, she loves that she easily gets to see all the photos of her niece and my aunt likes to see the photos that my cousin gets tagged in. I don’t think there is anything wrong with it personally as long as you are super strict about the content that people can see. If the child has a problem with it when they’re older it can be removed. But I think it is such a personal decision for each parent – my nephews mum tells everyone to not upload any pictures of her children to facebook at all, which is obviously fine and totally her decision! 🙂
By the time your baby is 13, Facebook will be SO uncool. I post a lot of pictures of my baby on my blog, but that’s the main reason I started a blog (so friends and family could see her grow up and hear funny stories). I am very careful that if I take pictures of her at a park or something, I crop out any other kids before I post the picture.
It’s very hard to NOT show everyone pictures of your baby, especially if she’s wearing a cute outfit. Maybe your fashion posts will turn into weekly “Cute things the baby wore!” posts so you can have an outlet. 🙂
I completely agree… I would hate having a page out there that followed every second of my upbringing, once it’s on the internet it never goes away! But, I think a private forum like an email is a super cute idea. They can look back on it without the whole world having access
My sneaky 11 year old set up his own email account without me knowing. The reason I found out is because he emailed ME from upstairs saying “mom… can I have a snack? PLEASE? I am hungry but I am too lazy to come down and ask you”. Ha ha ha… needless to say I now know about it and monitor it, he uses it for his games that he plays. I do however agree with you 100% that facebook should not be for kids! I have friends who have accounts for their little ones and I find it… odd???
This is a great post Gina! Friends of mine have started having babies. The one’s I’m close with I enjoy their updates and the ones I haven’t talk to since high school bother me but I can just hide those on my newsfeed. So far no diaper related over sharing!
Not completely the same but similar: a friend of mine’s mom was very sick (and eventually died) of pancreatic cancer last year. When her mom first got sick she wanted to share information with her family and friends but didn’t want to clog newsfeeds, over share on facebook or have the sensitive information displayed in the public forum (kinda similar to sharing information about babies on the internet). She ended up starting a private blog with a password. Only family and friends had access and she was able to share information with people that were 1) interested and 2) that SHE wanted to share the info with.
I think its a bad idea to have your kids posted all over the web especially a baby who does not have a choice, I will not even let my 12 year old have facebook. You just never know who is looking no matter how you set up the privacy stuff there are always ways to break into those settings.
I don’t know about setting up a facebook account.. That seems a bit much to me. I’m pretty sure I would blog about the bebe and the commercial’s idea is so cute too! It makes me tear up every time.
Gina, I commend you for thinking this through BEFORE hand and having a plan of action. I actually have decided recently that I am going to dramatically reduce the amt of kiddo pics I post. I never felt like I did as much as other bloggers, but I am increasingly really uncomfortable with it.
I can’t take back what I’ve already “released” out into cyberspace. Even if I were to delete the pics and posts with Skylar on them, they are still saved in cached stores, in google images, on facebook servers; once you post something you can never fully take it back. I think it’s great that you are being really cautious.
I am not saying I’ll never post another pic of my kid, but just on day-to-day posts, no more. As you said, until they have a voice and a choice the parents need to be really responsible about it. For some people it works great; for others and me going forward…not so much anymore.
Thanks for this topic and opening up this discussion!
I’m with Dynamics on worrying about security, rather than kids ‘privacy issues’. My mum has books full of embarrassing photographs of me as a baby.. parents just do embarrassing stuff, always have, always will. Privacy and perverts is a whole other problem, and I think a very real concern. I get worried when I see bloggers telling their kids names, putting their faces on the net, particularly when that blog is linked to a business, or mentions a town and shows photographs which would easily allow someone to locate that individual and know something about their routine. I have a private ‘family only’ blog with a password, and don’t say much about the kids in my life, or give their real names on my public blogs. I’m selective about photo’s, only putting older pics on there or ones that make it hard to see their faces. I personally would discourage you from telling your babies real name on your blog (as much as we would love to know it~!). Give her a nickname. On second thought, I have just finished reading some spine-chilling studies for my ‘Forensic Psychology’ paper and might be feeling overly suspicious of the world right now..
As a mom of 4, I’m overloaded just reading this post! hahaha! Too much for me!
I agree with allowing them to set up their own accounts (when they are old enough) with parental supervision.
I think your plan sounds perfect Gina. It’s so hard not to share every last detail and every cute photo, but in the last few months, we’ve decided to keep the HEABlet’s life more private. You never know who might be reading, and I’d hate for her to google herself someday and read something negative, regarding one of my blog posts. I do post pics on Facebook but make sure only my friends can see them.
Aghh I have been thinking so much about this lately. Before Weezus was born I said I would not overload my blog or my facebook with baby stuff. When she was first born and it was the main focus of my life, it was hard not to give updates. I have toned it down. And I don’t even spend that much time on facebook as it is to give a lot of updates on her. I really don’t at all actually. An occasional cute pic here and there but nothing more. A bunch of girls from my high school started a private invite only forum where we can ask each other stuff like “what to do when they are teething” or “my baby is doing X has anyone experienced it” I think it’s great because it’s not on the main fb page and I like to lurk on it and read the Q & A’s because I learn a lot 🙂
I think as Weezus gets older I will post less and less on the blog about her. I actually have toned it down a lot since she was born because I have been thinking a lot. Pics here and there because I can’t help myself…she’s so freakin adorable…
But…It kinda freaks me out. You never know who’s out there reading!!! That and her not having a say in the matter!
I love the e-mail video you posted, it’s a really sweet idea, made me cry too! I wouldn’t create a FB page for my child, that’s too much for the world to see. I am guarded when it comes to stuff like that, but it’s everyone’s personal choice to determine what works best for them.
I don’t think any kid should have any kind of social media site until they’re at least in high school, and I don’t think they should have cell phones until they can drive and might need one. I have no problems with parents posting pictures and updates about their babies on facebook or blogs, though, I love to see that. I think childhood should be as technology-free as can be for as long as possible! Once you start loading them up with video games and TV and texting/facebook, they don’t develop their imagination and don’t develop the skills to actually talk to someone face-to-face.
exactly! i’ve seen a lot of technology-crazed antisocial kids, and it makes me sad. i wasn’t allowed to have a cell phone until i could drive and at the time i was so mad about it! now, i appreciate it
On the other hand, some of us shyer kids can really benefit from technology. When I first had access to the internet, I learned that I could make friends (and yes – parental safety and supervision important) and that there were a lot of people out there just like me. That shy wasn’t a problem. I do think it’s important to take it past social media, but I think social media has some understated positives. I’m still friends with some people I met online a decade ago. And yes, I have real-life friends too. 🙂
My kids won’t have their own accts until theyre older…way older. They’re only 3 & 6 now.
As far as status updates and what I post on my accts, it’s MY acct and I post what I want. 🙂 If peeps don’t want to read it then they can hide me.
I’m a mom and my kids are a HUGE part of my life. I don’t censor what I post for fear that someone else may get irritated. But to each his own. 🙂
such a great topic, and so many ideas are running through my mind about this
technology, what kids have access to now is crazy. i worry about my niece growing up, and one reason I am scared to have kids. But then again this is the world we live it.
I ALWAYS cry when I see this commercial! It’s so sweet. It’s so amazing that memories can be documented so accurately these days.
I’m divided on the subject of kids + blogs. It’s a way for parents to share their joy with other people. Yet, sometimes, readers did not sign up to read about a blogger’s children. It just depends on how you want to use your blog….no matter what, you’ll lose some readers…but you’ll also gain new readers. But that happens anyways, right? Personally, I enjoy reading about kids. 🙂
Being the mother of three children, I’m against them having a facebook right now. My oldest is 13 and although she’s a GREAT kid and I totally trust her…it’s not HER I worry about. There are so many cyber bullies and things that aren’t suitable for children out there, I don’t want her to be in a situation that she can’t handle. We have debated back and forth about it, but I know I’m not ready for her to have one. Working at a school, I see these things go wrong (fb, twitter, cell phone, tumblr, etc) daily 🙁
cyber bullies are HORRIBLE right now, and it would break my heart to see my kid subjected to that
Oh, and the cell phone thing…she got her cell phone in the middle of 6th grade. At that time she was only allowed 250 text messages a month, no cell at the dinner table or during homework. For 6 months she had to show me she was responsible and not break the rules. Now, she has unlimited (8th grade). But the rules still stand about the dinner table and homework…and mom has the right to check your texts at ANY time! Keeping her safe is my only goal and she knows that 🙂
From the point of view of a non-parent, I think having a fb account for your kids is a great idea. Those of your friends that don’t want every update regarding you kid don’t have to be the kid’s friend/see the updates. I have friends that only update their fb account with info and pictures of the kids.
I’m a big believer in keeping children and the Internet separate as much as possible, including limiting how much information you put on your personal accounts about your child. I think that even adults underestimate the potential dangers of putting personal information online. Your closest friends and family will still get pictures and updates…the rest of the world doesn’t need to. I think it’s really important for parents to lead by example. Soon enough, your baby will be old enough to start figuring out how to setup their own emails and accounts, and then the real fun parenting begins! (I know–my niece has already setup an email account and a Facebook account without permission, and she’s 10. Kids are savvy!)
I honestly think it is SO WEIRD that kids are using technology. It was just so different when I was a kid, and that was not that long ago! I do think the facebook page for the new baby is a good idea for keeping family updated on the goings on of the new little one however!
I think motherhood makes you wired to only care about your baby for a while. What she eats, when she sleeps, etc., etc., etc. It’s weird. Just don’t be surprised if you find yourself wanting to discuss almost nothing else for a while.
I’m not really for or against kids on social media but my own is a ‘net fan and I’m at peace with it. It has its advantages. I nose in now and then to check on things but I think the most important thing is to know your child and have good communication and lead by example. Even with ‘live’ friends, you don’t watch 100% of the time past a certain age, and you have to trust them to alert you to problems, and to recognize them.
while I totally understand that parents set up email accounts for their children, I don´t understand why they set up fb accounts at all.
I think it´s nice sharing some details about ur kids, but if their whole lives are out there, I don´t think it´s that great for the children. The internet will never forget!
But each to their own.
Some of my best friends had a blog for their baby (now almost six year-old) that I really appreciated because they lived across the country. I really liked it as an auntie just because I felt like I could keep up and participate in her life. The commercial reminded me of my dad… he wrote me a set of letters and gave them to me when he dropped me off at college. I still have them and I tear up every time I read them 🙂
When one of my closest cousins had a baby a few years back, I was really happy that he would often post baby updates on his Facebook without having them take-over his feed. He would also often post pictures on Flickr, and I really appreciated that I felt I could watch the baby through his first year even though I wasn’t able to be there in person yet. Now that I’ve moved away from them again, I still love being able to have that connection with them through technology.
All the info about this kid was via his parent’s page (people seriously set up accounts for their babies? that IS weird…) When he became 2 he actually became really excited to see pictures or videos or himself online, it was really cute. He would always shout “pictures please!!” so someone could show them to him.
Having said that, I also have to agree that there were times when my cousin would post anything and everything about them (whether photos or updates) that I definitely thought were TMI both for the reader and for the kid when he grows up. I think any parent should think the consequences of their actions through, aka. does my little girl really want an online picture of herself on the potty at 3 when she’s 16? Probably not.
You guys seem to have it together though 🙂
I love that commercial as well. I wouldn’t create my child their on FB, I don’t think, but I would post sometimes – especially pictures. Not sure I would ever put that on my blog though unless it was very private or family only.
This did make me think though that I would much rather prefer the one thing I know will stick around – handwritten notes and books with updates about what happened, and photo albums. Because in the end, these things are easy to physically pass down to someone, and would mean a lot more to me. While they could see all this online with technology, who knows how things are going to change – and they can’t take it with them like they can a piece of physical history put together for them. They can display it, read it, share it and not have to worry about technology working or not. I think I would prefer the handwritten route.
I honestly don’t like seeing little kids have accounts on Facebook, whether their own page or one their parents maintain. Facebook’s TOS says you have to be at least 13 to hold an account; it bothers me that adults circumvent that rule since it’s dishonest and not really a very good message to send to your children. I love seeing pictures of my friends’ children on Facebook from their accounts, and I really enjoy the funny stories, but I do agree that when every update is about the little ones, it can get annoying. The worst, though, are what little Johnny or Jane did or didn’t do in the potty. I’m sorry, but nobody wants to hear that.
I agree with your ideas–it seems weird to make a FB page for a baby. As for pictures, I am hoping you will post at least SOME so we can see the beautiful baby when she gets here!
i definitely will! it just won’t be baby overload