More awkward pregnancy moments
It’s been a little while since I’ve done one of these posts (here are the first and second), and a lovely reader let me know that it was about time for another one. I can’t believe I didn’t think of it (oh yeah, because my brain is gone), but as things continue to grow over there, they are most definitely becoming more awkward.
1. Here is the pie I flattened last week.
This isn’t super unusual, since I’ve always been a filling girl (not a crust girl) when it comes to pie. I eat the filling of my piece and Tom will eat the crust [For cupcakes and cake, I always go after the frosting first and will eat the cake part last] I’ve always done this, even before I started avoiding gluten, and we can’t have a pie in our fridge because I will go after it with a fork and leave it flattened.
My mom brought that pie over, which everyone enjoyed, and left about a half of it in our fridge for Tom. He got home from work the next day and asked if I’d mind warming him up a piece. I had left one piece unscathed, heated it up, and handed it to him. He said “Wow, I’m surprised you haven’t flattened it yet.” My face turned red and I started laughing. He knew immediately, walked to the fridge and texted the above picture to my mom.
My sweet tooth going ccrrraaazzyyyy
2. Riding in the car pants-less after Dia de los Muertos.
It was cold that night, so I had to wear jeans. They’re a pair from Express that have fit me (using the Bellyband) up until this time [my crops all still fit, but it’s too cold to wear them now]. When I put them on to go to the parade, they were significantly tighter, but the only jeans I could really get over my hips. So I rolled with it. Until they started cutting off circulation in my legs.
On the way home, watching the funny dance I was doing in the car, Tom said “Just take your pants off. You’ll feel better.” I asked my friend Hayley if she would be offended (which of course she didn’t care) and rode home sans pants, praying we wouldn’t get pulled over. Can you imagine that situation? “Please excuse my wife, Officer. She’s pregnant, has her face painted like a skeleton and is not wearing pants.”
3. “I know what you’ve been doing.”
An older man, a guest at work, said that to me yesterday. He’s funny and kind, but it kind of made me laugh because everyone knows the hanky panky that went down to get into this situation. Let’s just not talk about it. Awkward.
4. Last night, I sat down in front of Tom and said “Can we talk about something?”
“Sure baby, what do you want to talk about?”
“My beard.”
“Your what?!”
“My beard. The baby is turning me into a bearded lady.”
I actually shouldn’t call it a “beard” because it’s on the sides of my face, but I have blond peach fuzz that was never there before. I’m sorry if that grosses you out, but just keeping it real. I thank my lucky stars that my dad is blond, so that gene carried on with my new facial hair. When does it go away?!
Tom then tried to color it with his charcoal pencil he had in his flight suit pocket. I ran away.
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As someone who has never been pregnant and hasn’t spent much time around pregnant women – this was a very interesting post to read 😉
Very interesting!
haha!
I gotta be honest, I really enjoy these. At least you have an excuse. Ihave definitely done these things (well, not the no pants skeleton thing *wink*) and I am not nor have I ever been pregnant. 🙂
Haha omg yes! The first time I was pregnant about halfway through I found a chin hair had sprouted. I proceeded to freak out and plucked it. Then I cried about it and demanded to know why my Husband hadn’t told me about this horrible thing. He says he didn’t notice and frankly didn’t understand why I was so upset about it. I told him from then on out to let me know if any more sprouted. He never did but I was on high alert. I have had about ten total between that pregnancy and this one currently and I’m still pretty horrified.
I am totally a filling girl too! That would be hilarious if you guys got pulled over with no pants on.
Ahahaha omg. This just made my day. Girl I PROMISE your beard will not last very long, and I know a lot of women get their lips waxed so you can probably do the same with your cheeks!
i’m texting my mom to see if she’ll do it today. haha
Love this, Gina! The pants story in particular cracked me up. “Please excuse my wife, Officer. She’s pregnant, has her face painted like a skeleton and is not wearing pants.” 🙂
You made me LOL! Totally have been there! The facial hair will go away after the baby. Unfortunately a lot of the hair on your head will fall out too. I love reading your posts about pregnancy! Being pregnant is so much! So glad you’re enjoying it!
It’s supposed to say so much fun! ;o)
This seriously made me laugh out loud! All the crazy things women put themselves through for the joy of being a mommy. I have learned not to google “birth” anything, for fear of never wanting to go through it. Love all your posts though!
This is exactly the kind of post I needed to read today. My pants legs are tight too. I’m hoping it’s just fluid retention.
totally cracking me up! =)
The pie! I’m a filling girl too. The pants thing happens to every pregnant woman, i’m pretty sure – I wouldn’t wear anything but dresses and skirts the last two months of my pregnancies.
and the beard. oh man. the dreaded beard. most of it goes away…just find yourself a great laser hair removal tech for the rest of it after baby is born. LOL at Tom trying to color it in.
still cackling over the pantless, skeleton face painted situation.
so embarrassing, haha
These made me laugh, especially the spork picture! I always wonder if pregnant woman ever feel awkward since it broadcasts to the world some of their more private business! ;p
Love hearing this stuff lol! Thank you for sharing 🙂
These were the BEST!
Hey girl! I think you are handling all of this like a pro! Do not even worry about all the awkwardness, soon enough it will just be a big bundle of joy in your arms!
This post made my day! Having never been pregnant, I had no idea about the facial hair! Seems like that’s fairly common based on other comments.
I’m also a filling girl. I leave the crust for my husband. 🙂
OMG! I worked my abs yesterday and this post is causing me much pain right now!!! *lol*
I too had someone make akward “i know what you’ve been doing” things at me – Someone patted my belly (when it was like *whomp*) and winked at me and said “nice job, hope it was fun” – um ewwwww!
Pizza was an insane craving for me – INSANE! My hubby was convinced I was going to give birth to a whole wheat brocolli and goat cheese pizza.
Enjoy the last few weeks! 🙂
eww!
i LOVE pizza right now too- can’t get enough
You need to buy some maternity jeans!!! Seriously, I was resisting getting a pair, but I finally got a pair from the Gap, and the moment I put them on was like a giant sigh of relief– SO comfy!!
it’s happening this weekend
Hilarious!
I also always go after frosting first and then the cake. If I have a cupcake in my hand, I just can’t help it…it just seems like the natural way to go! 🙂
Along the lines of “I know what you’ve been doing…”
When I was a teenager during sex-ed and talked about condoms, they said that you shouldn’t be embarassed to buy them. If you buy condoms, the cashier will know what you’ve been doing. If you get pregnant, everyone will know what you’ve been doing.
Strange that someone would actually say it out loud though…
i’ll have to remember that one!
hahahaha. I LOVE this.
Hahaha!! So funny!
Hey Gina,
I flatten pies all the time! Crumbles too. My fiance doesn’t seem to mind (he is a crust person). I wanted to ask you if you had ever heard of threading? I get it done on my eyebrows when I go to get them shaped. It’s far less painful than waxing and only takes about 5 mins. They take this pulled thread and run it across an area of your face and it scoops up the hairs. Ideal for someone with sensitive skin (like me!). Some of my friends get their upper limp threaded and swear by it. Wishing you and the baby a good day!
whaaat you think it is less painful than waxing?? eek i disagree 🙂 i started getting my eyebrows threaded when i studied abroad and kept it up back in the states, but it will always be the most painful part of my beauty regimen. its like slow torturous ripping of each individual eyebrow hair. it makes your eyes water and then you sneeze, and when you try not to sneeze you end up sucking rogue eyebrow hairs up your nose which makes you sneeze even more! that said, i still prefer the precision to waxing. happy threading!! haha just had to share 🙂
ehhh, i think i’ll stick to waxing
Oh my goodness, the pants (or no pants rather) story was hilarious! I’ve had to do that before too but because we got rained on at an outdoor concert in the summer and staying in wet clothes all the way home was too cold, ha ha! So glad you can find humor in the awkwardness and share it with us too 🙂
I LOVE this post lol! You are hilarious and I love that you’re so honest and raw about everything. Makes for good reading! Soooo I’m sure I’m not the only one who’s asked this but when will baby fitnessissta’s name be revealed?? I’m dyin’ over here!
PS – My guess is Olivia!
i’ll share it when she’s born and we know everything is ok. after that, i’ll probably use a nickname for her
Well I can’t wait to hear what it is! My fiance and I were coming up with baby names yesterday too for our future kiddies (not pregnant yet haha) and we decided on our favorite boy and girl names.. It was one of those things where you say the name all together and it just sounds perfect and gives you warm fuzzies. Hope your family has a lovely weekend, take care. <3
Hair growth from all the hormones surging through your body…yep, pregnancy never ceases to amaze, does it? 🙂
And I agree about filling…why bother eating crust when you can have something sweeter and just..better tasting!
Hahaha! This post made me chuckle – it’s so funny! 😛 xyx
Omg this post made me crack up! “Honey, let’s talk about my beard”<—you're too much! It's common for women to get peach fuzz on their face while pregnant. Hormones. Don't do anything to it! It will go away! If you wax it it may come back darker?? I always heard that. I did wax my lip a lot for my "mustache" while pregnant. I don't have to do it as often now. Idk if it was the pregnancy or the Italian in me.
I have been known to flatten a pie or two in my day. My parents used to call it "mutilating it" My best friend in high school and I would sit after Thanksgiving dinner and I would eat the center, she would eat the crust. Match made in heaven.
OK, usually your funny posts make me laugh, but this one realllyyyy made me chuckle. That’s not a good thing when you work in an open room (not cubes) and people are wondering what you’re laughing at haha. No pants, a pie binge and a blond beard is just the funniest combo of things!
You are so super hilarious … thanks for the giggle. Please keep this up post baby … the crazy hilarious things that you will do as a mom are equally entertaining!
Loved it!- Thanks 😀
I agree with Gia, continue these after the baby is born, we all need a little humor in our lives (oh and to know we aren’t the only ones!). 😉
PS- I’ll take that pie crust from you. You can have all the filling!
i’ll definitely continue after the baby is born! i’m sure we’ll have many awkward moments
LOL! You have a very good sense of humor about everything, which is awesome. Man, I needed this laugh today…
I actually DID get into a car accident while not wearing pants. I was making a long drive to a job interview, and didn’t want to be all wrinkled when I got there. Unfortunately, that was the day I had a fender bender, and I had to explain to the officer and pissed off other driver why I wasn’t getting out of the car….
oh noooooooooo
Oh Gina, you’re so funny! You keep everything so real. I love your perspective of life…so optimistic and light! 🙂
thank you! <3
I’ve heard about the peach fuzz during pregnancy thing! You’ll look distinguised. 😉
Bahahahahahaha! You’re WHAT? LMAO! Hilare!
Charcoal Pencil! I’m dying!!! Best. Pregnancy. Ever. So so funny.
Hahaha – I love this post 🙂
Gina, I have read your blog forever and I don’t know if I’ve ever commented, so first let me say that your blog is amazing, and you crack me up so hard. The skeleton-painted-no-pants portion of this post almost made me choke on my lunch! It also reminded me of a critical “no pants” moment in my life that I just had to share: My husband and I went to Maui on our honeymoon, and we spent one day driving the Road to Hana. On the very first mini-hike we took off the trail to see a waterfall (there are about a million waterfalls on the Road to Hana), I slipped and skidded through a giant mud puddle, thickly coating my khaki shorts. I had no choice but to remove them, and I had no change of clothes. Luckily, I was wearing black bathing suit bottoms….unluckily, they basically looked like undies. I spent the rest of our six-hour trip wearing no pants, constantly getting out of the car to see sights, take photos, buy snacks at roadside stands, etc., surrounded by fellow tourists. We asked several people to take our picture at various points, and I particularly remember one older gentlemen seriously giving me the stink eye. The tube top I was wearing was kind of longish and hid most of the swimsuit-type features of my bikini bottoms, so I think he seriously thought I was wearing panties in public. We still look back at those photos and almost die of laughter.
I was pregnant, briefly (sadly, it wasn’t viable), and my husband’s mom looked right at him (in a Verizon store, no less) while we were talking about it and said, “you’re shooting some hot bullets!”
I don’t know who wanted to die more…me, him, or everyone else in Verizon.
love to you
and i would have been mortified
This post is hilarious! Why are there always “those” people who think about how a woman got pregnant instead of just being happy about the actual pregnancy. Definitely awkward.
Tom and his charcoal pencil – now that’s funny. My husband played connect the dots with my freckles once . . . I can’t believe I actually let him!
Love your post – take care,
Mo
hahah i love that!
thank you friend, you too 🙂
I needed a good laugh…..thanks!
I had a hairy moment too and waxed it off! Two weeks ago on a plane ride next to my husband, he looked over and said he’d never noticed before the fuzz growing on my jaw line. It got waxed that next week! Ecchh. I am most nervous about the growing belly. I’m 22 weeks now and still feeling good all day. Are you uncomfortable, hard to sleep at night?
nope i sleep like a champ in our new bed! it’s made all the difference in the world, but i do miss sleeping on my stomach
Love it!
The only thing that I can some what relate to is a convo I had the other day with a lady I hadn’t seen in several months. I used to be fat and am now a personal trainer…which she knew. She said to me “Well you kept the weight off”
I know some ppl struggle with keeping the weight off and I’m not saying it isnt easy but really?
girl you look so good!!!!
Wait till you start nursing your little girl in the car. We were driving home with my daughter one night and she needed to eat so we pulled over into an empty parking lot (it was dark and we were the only car). The whole time I was just terrified that a cop would come by and ask what we were doing and find me in the back seat feeding the baby with my chest exposed, Thankfully it didn’t happen but talk about awkward 🙂 By the way you look great! I think pregnant people are soo cute 😉
This post made my day. You’re so ridiculously adorable.
I’m more a crust girl than a filling girl! Even though I love me some warm apples, perfect pie crust makes my heart sing. Especially the bottom of the crust, mmm. That being said, I’ll always eat frosting off cupcakes and cake, eat a few bites of the cake part, then toss it aside. Frosting > cake, always.
I love when you open up like this in your posts. You seem more relaxed, comfortable, and relatable now. It’s refreshing and always a delight to read. 🙂
Haha….this entire post made me crack up! Especially the comment that the old man made. I felt so awkward telling our parents because my husband is in the middle of workups and is literally home for a few days at a time and then gone for weeks. I felt like telling our parents I was pregnant was the same thing as telling them that all we do when he’s home is make out (and stuff ha) – I mean really, what are the chances when they are gone that often??