why we’re still going to wait
After a while of carefully guarding my choices of posts and words over here, I’ve started to become more adventurous again. It’s not because I somehow magically stopped caring about what people think, but because I feel like if something is tugging on my heart for that long and is that powerful, it’s worth putting it out there. The type of thing you can’t forget because it’s always on your mind and you want to post about it, know there’s the chance of potential flack (even when the virtual hugs drown out any negativity), so I’m just going to go ahead and say it:
I want another baby more than anything, but I fear it as much as I want it.
It seems to be one of the most commonly-asked questions when people find out you have a baby. “Oh you have a baby?! When are you having another one?”
What I say:
“Ohh, you know, maybe when she’s 3 or so.”
What I’m thinking:
“I want one right now but postpartum anxiety scares the f*ck out of me.”
When Liv was teeny tiny, I wasn’t sure what the rush was about. I’m relatively “young” (whatever that means?), I want to enjoy my amazing daughter for a while, and things are finally in a routine and we’re having so much fun as a little family. I started to feel little inklings of baby fever within the past couple of months and lately the urge has been strong. As much as we want it, we’re still going to stick with our original plan and wait a while.
I’m not scared of the pregnancy; I loved every second of being pregnant,
I’m not scared of the actual birth; the pain was INTENSE, but then it was over, and we got to finally meet our baby girl,
I’m not even scared of the dark sadness of sleepless nights and constant feedings and/or pumpings; I know what to expect.
The postpartum hormones? Another ballgame entirely.
Quite a few of my friends who also experienced postpartum anxiety told me that it was SO much better the second time around. The hormones weren’t as awful, they still had some anxious spells, but it was much more short-lived. Then, on the other hand, a couple of friends said that it was a thousand times worse the second time. The anxiety was magnified by the worry of giving the older child as much love and attention in addition to caring for the new baby. There was more guilt, more sadness, and even turned into full-on postpartum depression in addition to the anxiety.
We know we want more than one baby, but always planned to wait at least 2-3 years in between. I feel like I’m at the point where I’m ready, but am still waiting until I have a solid plan of what to do during my pregnancy and after the new baby is here to prevent what happened last time,
Some of the steps on the action plan:
Seeking out therapy as soon as we decided to start trying.
Knowing that it’s ok to ask for help when I need it.
I’ll do a better job of prioritizing work and tasks, so I don’t feel so overwhelmed and anxious.
I won’t be so apprehensive to introduce formula. If breastfeeding isn’t working, I’m not going to fight it. I’m glad I worked as hard as I did to get Liv breastmilk for the first 6 months, but I don’t want to put myself through that again in addition to caring for a newborn and a toddler.
So even though baby fever is definitely here, I’ll be waiting for quite a while, and enjoying the little lovebug we have, because she’s kind of the best thing ever.
<3
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You gotta do you! Don’t force yourself one way or another. 🙂
Wow, I could have wrote this post. When and if you decide to have another baby, it has to feel right. And I think you’ll know when that moment comes. My baby is a year old and I got hit hard by postpartum depression/anxiety (treated with therapy and medication). There is normal anxiety and guilt that is associated with becoming a mother–but there is a difference between “normal” anxiety and a postpartum anxiety disorder, and I think that is an important thing to understand. Many times the anxiety and depression go hand in hand, because they feed each other. I wasn’t able to tell from the post if you had normal mom anxiety or if it crossed over into an anxiety/depression disorder.
I think it is great that you have an action plan! It is never a bad thing to anticipate what might trigger stress for you and know that you have the resources to deal with it. Therapy sounds like a solid, healthy step as is knowing that it is okay to take any help you can get from family and friends. It sounds like you have a great support system from your family.
I’m not sure if you know about encapsulating the placenta but I’ve read SO many studies that it does wonders for PPD!
I drank my placenta in a smoothie. Whenever I would feel run down or low I would make a smoothie and feel so much better. I SWEAR by this. Next time I would probably encapsulate because after a while the placenta starts to taste very iron-y (gag) but the smoothie was very cost effective.
i did that and think it helped a lot. i waited a couple of weeks to take the pills and should have tried it sooner, though
Gina, I love your raw honesty and your blog. Like you, I loved being pregnant. I didn’t experience PPD (though my mom did and I could next time) but what you said about the guilt you’d feel of not being able to give Liv as much attention completely rings home. My mom has tried to quell that fear by saying, “I have a place in my heart for each of you” (we’re all in our 30s now ;)) but it’s a realistic one. Things will change; they have to. I think with those proactive steps you plan to take, you’ll be in great shape (mentally, obviously you’re in fantastic physical shape!) to handle the challenges that may or may not come. Sending lots of hugs and thanks again for your honesty.
And I feel the same way about BF. I nursed/pumped for nine long, painful, miserable months where I struggled with supply and was just a wreck. I won’t do that to myself (or my husband and child) again. I’ll give what I can give. It just ISN’T that critical to me. I find some of my fondest bonding moments now — with Maya at 2 1/4 … — are story-time/snuggle time before bed. We whisper, sing, talk about her day … she says “Te amo” and I melt. THAT is more important than killing myself trying to produce milk when it just wasn’t happening. So I hope to adapt that less-strict attitude with #2.
amen to that.
xoxo
I can’t stand the questions people think they can ask. I cringe thinking I may have been one of those people at some point. I’ve been married for 5 years this year, had baby fever big time the last 3, and have been trying since December.
It stings every time someone has asked because in the past I wanted a baby so bad but knew waiting until this year would be best. And now it’s stings even more becasue I’m not pregnant yet.
At the end of the day you have to do what your gut tells you is the right thing because you are the one that will be living it when the time comes.
Plus I think everyone experiences some form of anxiety to full blown pp depression. As women we need to encourage each other to talk about these things and help one another. Some of the best advice will come from people that have been there and made it to the other side.
You definitely have to do what feels right! My brother and I are 3 1/2 years apart, and I think that was pretty perfect growing up.
I think that therapy will definitely be useful when it comes to baby time. I went to therapy for about 14 months (different reason, mind you – ED recovery) but it was the smartest thing I ever did. I firmly believe that everyone can benefit.
It is always something isn’t it! People were always asking us “when are you getting married?” and that bothered me, now that we are engaged, it’s “are you having kids?” “when?” Why can’t we just be happy and live and enjoy the present!?! And, furthermore, why do people ask such personal questions when they hardly know me! I guess it’s something we all just thave to deal with. Sigh. Thanks for sharing!
I think it is exceptionally important that people like you, who have a far reaching voice, keep talking about the reality of being pregnant and having babies and what comes after. So many women feel alone and afraid of what they are feeling – by sharing your concerns and stories, as well as some other notable bloggers mamas, I think more women ARE reaching out and ending up healthier for it. So thank you for putting it out there, opening it up to discussion, and doing so in such a way that there is no judgement, implied or otherwise.
I hope however it works out, you and yours remain healthy and happy.
You have to do what’s the best for you (and the pilot of course)! Even though we’re only engaged, people are constantly asking us when we want to have children, and I don’t really know but it bugs the crap out of me how so many people think they’re entitled to map out your life for you. I want to enjoy each step of life as it comes, without rushing!
Really nice and honest post, Gina! I think the most important thing to do is to do whatever is right for you and your husband. Whether that means having a baby next week (okay, not really plausible but you catch my drift, lol) or next year is up to you guys!
I am usually a lurker on here, but had to comment on this one. First, THANK YOU for being honest! It is SO nice to hear the real deal about stuff like this. My daughter is a little older than Liv and I’ve been really having a hard time thinking about #2. We thought we’d be trying by now and I still don’t feel ready to go through those first few months again yet! I don’t know that I ever really will be, but it feels good to know I’m not the only one. Those first few months were the hardest in my life (in addition to newborn anxiety and life turning upside down, my daughter also spent time in the NICU and ended up getting surgery at 11 weeks – 100% fine now though) and while I would love to experience having another child for myself and for my daughter, the mental war I went through for that is tough to get past. I felt very out of control and I am the in control planner type so that felt very BAD for me. I think all things become clear in time and I think everyone reaches a point where it’s clear that it’s “time” or it’s not. I’m sure it will for you as well!
I didn’t realize you had that with Liv! I had bad anxiety with mine (and still do) and among other things (labor!!) dealing with it all over again scares me too..so thank you for sharing this!!
Wow, I just cried reading this. Our first child, (also a Livi) will be 5 years old this month. We are expecting our second child early November, they will be almost 6 years apart. And that is okay. We waited. I had to wait. I suffered a terribly traumatic 57 hour labor and delivery, and it resulted in an emergency c-section. It was awful. Recovery was impossible because I went into surgery after 3 days of labor. The trauma resulted in some intense PPD. (I was treated, we all survived.)
This time around I was adamant about a scheduled c-section (no surprises, no trauma, no risk associated with a VBAC.) Just yesterday I had a “friend” criticize me for not trying a vaginal birth. And I was hurt, but realized my spouse and I have made all these decisions based on whats best for our whole growing family unit.
What I am saying is be proud of yourself! You already have a plan in place, you are already making realistic and careful decisions (like your breastfeeding struggle) and you already can clarify what you as a Mama simply can not do again. A joke: when people would ask me when I was having another baby, I would answer, I don’t know when do YOU think we should have one. It usually makes people realize how inappropriate the question is.
i love your response to that haha
sending lots of love to you and your family! it’s funny how people can ask things, and they don’t know how much they hurt.
xoox
Judith, what a story. I’m so sorry for how rough it was for you after your daughter! Wow. I would have had to wait, too, I’m certain of it. Congrats on #2 coming along – I have a feeling it’s all going to go a lot more smoothly this time. And I bet your daughter will be an amazing helper! My girls are 3 years apart; I even said that if I’d been younger, I would have waited for a 4 year gap (-:
Seriously in the same place right now. My son is 16 months and I would love another squishy little baby but there are other areas that I don’t quite feel ready. It may not be PPD for me but more about not overextrending myself as a mother. I have this one child under control and we are happy, I am not ready to rock the boat yet 🙂 I think that there is a lot of pressure to pump the kids out one right after another and as I hit my thirties it is a mental pressure on myself to not wait too long. I think that we will try next summer which is in the 3 years apart range that works for me!
I hate when because ask when I’m having another. I don’t plan on having another and I don’t think it’s really much of their business.
Gina can I ask you, what did you start giving Liv when you decided to stop pumping? I’ve been exclusive pumping with my little guy. He’s six months next week and I’m ready to be done being tied to the pump. I have quite a bit stockpiled to last another couple months at least. I’m hoping to make it last until the one year mark because I’d rather not use formula. Just having a hard time making the decision to stop. I want the best for him and its totally selfish reasons why I want to stop (really don’t want to be pumping every 2-3 hours all summer long!).
we gave her similac alimentum after trying a few formulas that really upset her stomach. it was the only one that didn’t make her scream, so we stuck with it. it was really expensive, but worth it
and pumping is TOUGH work! hang in there and whatever you decide will be the right choice
Love this post! I have a 16 month old and feel pressure to have another now. While I definitely want more kids, I want some time to enjoy my daughter now! I am not ready for those newborn days quite yet either…
Great post! Thank you for opening up to all of your readers and for your raw honesty…this is why we love you! I have only been married for a couple of years but I swear people have been asking me when we are going to start having kids since the day we got back from our honeymoon! I used to not mind but now that my husband and I have been trying for months and I have recently learned that I have some fertility/menstrual issues it REALLY hurts! I always answer “ohh, we definitely want kids in the next couple of years so when it happens it happens” but I really want to say ” we’ve been f-ing trying for months and now I have learned that I have fertility issues so mind your own business!” Ah so frustrating but I know people don’t mean to ignite those emotions! I just keep praying 🙂
I feel the same way you do! My son is going to be 4 and although I’ve been wanting another child for a long while I’ve been so apprehensive. I remember how overwhelmed I felt when he was tiny. I also fell for the breastfeeding pressure. I felt like such a failure when after 5 weeks I just wasn’t producing enough to sustain him. I remember feeling like formula was the devil (it so wasn’t).
However, I also remember the good times too. I know what to expect and I know the pitfalls to avoid now. I think that you will probably know too. I’m sure you’ve learned a lot about yourself as a mother too. I suggest (unsolicited advice here) that you just stick to your scheduled plan. That way you aren’t going into the conceiving process with the added pressure of the “When are we having another baby?” You’ll already know because you planned it.
Hey, thanks for sharing! Makes me feel less alone.
I am right there with you! I have a 21 month old and feel ready to try again in some ways, but we are still breastfeeding a few times a day and I really want that to have a natural end…not have to stop because I am pregnant. (In no way could I imagine nursing and pregnant…I know it is doable, but not for me.) I also feel like we are just now figuring out a family rhythm and I want to enjoy it. That being said, I can’t imagine not having another one!!! It’s so hard to know what it right, but for now I am waiting until it feels more like the right time. Thanks for this so much!
I still cringe at being pregnant again, the newborn phase, feeling so gross and frazzled, always rushed, not sleeping, frustrated, etc. therefore, i am not ready! you don’t have to explain yourself, just do what is right for your family. and i tell myself the years of him/her being an only child are special for you both. i am still enjoying that.
amen to that. we’re having so much fun 🙂
Not a mom yet, so no advice, but wanted to send some love your way for such a heartfelt post 🙂 I love your blog and your balanced outlook on life, fitness, food, everything. Liv and future baby fitnessistas/pilots are lucky kiddos 😀
I really appreciate your honesty. Everyone that blogs really puts so much out there and make yourselves vulnerable so thank you for being raw and honest. Ever since reading healthy living blogs I find myself making a lot of comparisons and I always need to remind myself that you guys don’t (and absolutely are not entitled to) share the more intimate, difficult parts of your life. It’s a shame there’s anyone criticizing what you guys post and how you live your life, but it really is nice to see you “stick it to the man” and put yourself out there to help other people. I’m sorry you have to deal these difficulties, but there will ALWAYS be more people supporting you than trying to bring you down when you open up about these things and we love you even more knowing that you post these difficult things for others’ benefits and that’s something we are all incredibly grateful for! 🙂
This has been on my mind a lot too! I am all for having another one as well, only I am really, really enjoying sleeping all night right now. The sleeplessness was the absolute worst part for me. I would cry every night going to bed because I knew I would be up in a couple hours anyway and I was soooo tired. Even last night I had to get up once because Squish had a night terror, and I was just so grumbly because I had to get up ONCE. Maybe I’ll just hire a wet nurse, like in the good o’ days …
Oh my dear Gina ….I FEEL your pain! My youngest is 5 we said when he was 3 we’d try for another. That didnt work since I was actually on a plane to Afghanistan at his 3 year mark. Now here we are about to try again in 6 months…we are both leaving on deployment in the next 6 weeks. We are talking about trying when we get home at Christmas.
Although my heartstrings (every time i see a baby) and son keep nagging me for another baby I am still teeter tottering. You see i will be the big 4-0 next year. I have worked extremely hard for my fitness and am terrified to gain the weight again (i gained 75 lbs with the youngest) and then have to lose it for the Air Force. Its alot of work and with 3 kids, a husband and house i already feel overwhelmed at the thought. But i dont want to feel selfish, my husband and I only have one child together (i have another son from a previous relationship). We both want another child together. I am just scarrrrreeed! For some reason none of the other stuff worries me. I know i have a loving partner as do you who will obviously help you through it all.
I did have some post-partum feelings which i know the exact ones you are afraid of. i had a moment once in Atlanta that i had to hand my baby to my hubby and walk away and cry for a minute.
So what i am trying to say is you are not alone in your feelings mama, there are many of us out there feeling the same. And when people ask you about another just cheerily say yep, we are waiting for Liv to be a little older 😀 Really besides yours, Pilot, Liv’s and your fams its none of anyones business!
Whew sorry for the long post! But this post hit close to home.
thank you so much, friend <3
i think of you every time we use our diaper bag, too 🙂
xoxo
I dont normally comment (its a pain in the but with the way i read blogs).. but today your story certainly spoke to me so i jsut wanted to say thank you. my lil guy is 10 mths old and we have decided that i will not be going back to work at this stage.. enter the constant questions of having another baby… the truth is i had a horrible birth experience (epidural, general anaesthetic and c -section) so no husband, no seeing my baby and no to lots of things that i thought were a given when i signed up for this deal… it has hurt me more than i would like to admit. so thank you for sharing your story and your reasons it helps me today to remember that there are lots out there just like me who are scared (and longing and excited of course) for next time..
meeks 🙂
love to you, friend <3 i hope your next birth experience is everything you wish for it to be. at least at the end, you'll get another beautiful baby. xoxo
Thank you, thank you, thank you for this! I am recovering from PPD and while I want to have more children, I am so happy enjoying my 5 month old now that I finally have my symptoms under control. It is so refreshing to hear stark honesty about the experience — I don’t know ANYONE in my life who has had PPD or post-partum anxiety and it is hard to feel like the only one experiencing it even though I”m sure there are people I know who can relate if they would only be willing to express it.
You’ll look into hiring the australian super nanny. PS. I’m available NOW!
Xxxx
i can’t wait to see you!!!!
Well obviously you know you’ve struck a chord with all of these comments! I think it’s great that you are putting it all out there because so many moms struggle with the same thing, but for some reason it’s not talked about a lot (postpartum depression and mom anxiety in general). I think it’s important to be honest with each other about our struggles!
And it is OK to not breastfeed. It’s awesome if you are able to, but if it was that big of a struggle and caused that much stress and pain…it’s probably best for the whole family to integrate formula.
Thanks for sharing your feelings! I will try not to ask anyone else if they’re having more kids haha! Although it’s hard because as a friend you are just making conversation and wanting to know more about your friend, ya know? I’m currently experiencing the “so have you guys talked about getting married?” when we have been dating five YEARS haha! Um, yes, the subject has come up once or twice! 😉 Sometimes I want to be like, “Married?? Well I’d never considered it until just now when you asked….”
Good for you for being so honest AND so willing to do what is right for you and YOUR family!! I’m not a mom, but I just wanted to say good for you and I hope you don’t get any negative “pushback” from ANYBODY, on here in the virtual world or in real life. People can be VERY invasive into family stuff that isn’t really their business, and that’s too bad, especially when it’s somebody like you that is just trying to do the RIGHT THING for their family. Whenever you’re ready, you’ll be ready, great!! 🙂
I totally appreciate your honesty with this and all aspects of your pregnancy and birth. I am pregnant with my first now and scared to death!!! Reading your story and thoughts has definitely helped soothe my fears. I know that whatever happens, I can work through it. but its so nice that there are awesome moms (like you) willing to offer honesty, tips, advice, and support. Thanks for helping me prepare for what may lie ahead while also preparing for how joyful having a child can be!
You gotta do what you gotta do 🙂 only you guys know what’s right for your family. And your choice is perfect-no matter what anyone says!
My daughter is 17 months and I am 20 weeks pregnant with baby girl #2 and honestly, I’m still scared! I really wanted my kids to be close in age, so I am glad that the timing worked out so well, but when I think about the newborn months we’ve got coming and it makes me pee my pants a little (and not just because I’ve got a baby squishing my bladder 🙂 ). I came to the realization that for me, I would never really be ready, so we might as well get it over with. Like you, my husband and I have an action plan for breastfeeding issues (you and I had very similar experiences) and for ensuring that our older daughter is cared for during that hectic time. I feel much better prepared this time around–i know that bfing is not a cakewalk (and to never let anyone make me feel bad about giving my daughter formula when sometimes that is what is best for all involved) and I know better than to feel guilty when it’s not all sunshine and rainbows after the delivery. Props to you for knowing what works for you and your family!
I totally relate to this post. My son is 10 months, and I am beginning to get baby fever again…but I am terrified that my PP baby blues will be worse the second time around. Thankfully mine only lasted a few months, and with the support of my faith, family and friends I got out of it…but I cannot imagine having it again..or having it be worse. My fear of PP depression or anxiety is making me prolong having another baby.
I recently heard that a person’s thyroid has a large impact on what happens postpartum, and decided before we start trying again I am going to get it checked out. Might be worth looking into.
Posts like this are the reason you are my favorite blogger. My son will be 9 months in just over a week and I’m having that baby itch but my hubs and I also think we want a 3 year gap. I want Evan to be out of diapers and I want to enjoy our unit for now.
I love love love how honest you are. I had a serious case of anxiety and am dealing with guilt right now being a working mother it has actually pushed me to talk to my doctor about seeing a therapist because of a hint of depression that comes with it… It is like Evan is the best thing in the world that ever happened to me and the fact that I work and am away from him I feel like I’m failing him *sigh* so I’m definately not ready yet and will wait until the hubs and I have enough saved up for me to stay home for about 6 months before I head back to my career, 12 weeks this time around was not enough.
They grow so fast! Thanks as always for sharing!!
I am the mother of the six month old and I started reading your blog one year ago when I was pregnant. Let me add to all the comments thanking you for taking on the sensitive and important subject! Reading your posts have helped me deal with the worries and negative emotions from pregnancy and new motherhood.
You said it perfectly. I have a son a few months younger than Liv. My main hesitation right now is that I just want to enjoy being with him and not worry about “splitting my time” between 2 kiddos. I can’t imagine doing that right now, but I’m sure the time will come. I want another babe badly but I also want to enjoy little man’s toddler years as much as I can as well!
Max is only a couple of weeks older that L – and people keep asking me when I am going to have another.
I am in no rush for another child any time soon – like you I didn’t mind pregnancy or child birth – it is the after baby arrives that I just don’t have it in me to do again yet. Max is just getting really independent and doing super cool things – I am also just getting back into certain things and having a bit of a life again. I do not want to go back to all the baby things right now.
Some day – but not right now.
I love ur honest posts!!! Posts like this help me prepare myself for when I become pregnant… I can’t wait! Thank u for being u Gina!! U have the best blog!!!
Gina, thank you for being so honest. As someone who already struggles with anxiety issues, this is something I worry about all the time where my one-day pregnancy is concerned. Like they say, though, if you fail to plan, you plan to fail, so I think it’s amazing you’ve already got steps in place 🙂
Choosing to have a second and when is a tough decision. I was really nervous about it because I had PPD with my first, plus he was a super fussy newborn. We decided (well, I convinced my hubby) that we wanted to have the chance to be just parents, not first time parents with everything. I really wanted to know what that was like. Plus, I figured both my babies couldn’t be super fussy, but I was so terrified the second one would be too. My son was nearly two when we conceived, do I really got to see how awesome being a parent was and knew that those first four months may have been awful, but that’s a very short time compared to the rest of our lives.
Fortunately, my daughter is a much happier baby. I was terrified of PPD, but just got the baby blues, which are awful enough. Every time I felt myself sinking, I purposefully pulled myself up out of it. I can’t believe I let myself feel that way the whole first few months without getting help. It’s a really truly awful feeling and was so glad it stayed away for the most part. I’m so glad we had a second and even with all the challenges, it’s way easier than when my son was a newborn. It’s nice being an experienced mom this time and I deal with the lack of sleep way better!
It’s just too bad it’s harder for my body to bounce back this time around!
I think you will know when right time to have another baby is. I always said we would wait 4 years but after having our first son that didn’t feel right for us so we tried sooner (they are almost 2.5 years apart). It has to be when you are ready not when you think you should just because!! You will know!
I think that your openness and honesty about this is beautiful, and I think that your doing it, helps to empower other women to be open and honest about what they are feeling as well 🙂 Thank you for being so brave to share your fears with us. I have to tell you too, I thank my mom every day for having my sister, it was not an easy time with me, but she pushed through, and now my baby sister is my best friend in the whole world 🙂
Thanks so much for writing this and putting honesty out there. I love following your blog and reading so much about your fantastic eats and workouts, as well as too-cute pictures of your daughter! I think when you guys decide to have the next little pilot-issista (haha my weird combo of you and the hubs) will be the best time! 🙂
Gina, what an awesome, straight from the heart post, as usual. It’s funny how we all have our secret demons that constantly plague us…I currently have a 6.5 month old, and hubby and I would really like to get started on #2 (luckily, I did not have PPD, and we’ve always wanted our kids close together). However, I exclusively breastfeed and my cycle has not come back — and from what I’ve read, it could take a year to 22 months postpartum before I ovulate again! Oh my!! My only option is to wean — which compromises the beautiful and sacred relationship I have going on with #1. It was SO hard to bf those first 6 weeks…but now it’s the best thing ever and I can’t just stop because we want another kiddo. It’s a really hard decision, and I never thought I’d run into this problem! My 6 month old is already >20lbs, wearing 1 year clothes…and seeing all the teeny tiny newborns born around me is giving me baby fever, bad! While you and I have totally different stories, I think the moral is: planning is futile, when you and your body feel it’s right, it’ll be right!
It takes a lot to share this- and thank you for trusting us with it 🙂 One day, when you feel up to it- I’d love to hear more about the postpartum anxiety. I get anxiety now and it’d definitely be something I want to be prepared for/know about being having kids.
You give me the warm and fuzzies! I don’t have any children yet, but it genuinely makes me smile when I see how much you love and care for your little one and the little ones you’re yet to have even when things are hard
Girlllllllll,
I am almost 5 months pregnant and I am scurred out of my mind! It’s okay to admit that, and maybe you are feeling this way because maybe the time is not quite right yet!
You are more than welcome to come visit me and teach me the ways. 🙂 You are amazing, it’ll be right when it’s right again.
xoxox
i can’t wait to meet your little nugget!!!
xoxo
I respect your honesty and certainly your right to privacy. I understand your hesitancy to post anything about this topic, because sometimes it still amazes me the lack of respect people have these days but whatever…
For what it’s worth, I had terrible PPD and A after the birth of my first. I was terrified of what would happen with a second. When I finally got up the nerve to try tor #2 I miscarried which was a whole nother ordeal but it helped me really, really be ready for the second. I wrote a bit about life with two almost three months out and if you’re interested you can read it here: http://aisforbeautiful.blogspot.com/2010/01/life-with-two.html
I know people say different things but I think the more positive responses for after the 2nd kid come from mama’s who dealt with anxiety after their first.
I have a baby not even 2 weeks old and for the first week I cried and felt sick about the night coming every night. I knew I’d be up late alone, and I had already been separated from my husband all day as it was! I used to work with my husband and was with him when the sun came up until the late hours of snuggling until we fell asleep. Now, I’ve been stripped of that quality time with him, and I knew I’d miss it but it GOT me good with the combo of hormones. Thankfully it feels like it’s passing and my husband works to make sure we spend time together as a family. What’s gotten me through is knowing she won’t be little and clingy forever and I need to enjoy my time with her 🙂
Good for y’all for knowing what’s best for you and not just trying to meet the “I want a baby now!” feelings 🙂
As a mum of 4-month twins I’ll tell you that not being able to give your baby the attention s/he needs is really hard. I love my two and I’m glad I had twins (because I absolutely HATED being pregnant and could never do it again) but it is sad and frustrating that I can never really concentrate on either of them. If you have the option of being able to give Liv your undivided attention, take advantage of it and give her all the snuggles you can while you can.
You are super mom. 🙂 I think you’re fantastic and will do amazing whether you have another sweet baby now or in a few years from now!