You don’t have to be “good”
This past weekend, I got a comment suggesting that I should stop running because I’m not very fast. It made me pretty upset, not because this commenter was saying I was slow -I’ve been called far worse since I started blogging- but because it’s frustrating to see that kind of attitude in the fitness community. In fitness, and in life, we’re all aspiring to achieve different goals and so many people are just beginning their journey, whatever that may be. Support (or lack thereof) can make or break an experience, dramatically impacting the final result.
As an instructor, one of the things I hear every day from participants is: “I’m not very good at this!”
“Oh, it’s my first time taking Zumba and I’m not coordinated”
“I’m not very fast”
“I can’t hold a plank for very long”
It goes on and on and on.
I always tell them that no ones cares how far/fast/skilled they are- just do the best they can and have fun with it! But comments like the one I received made me realize that some people do care about how others perform and aren’t shy to voice their opinions. In addition to being elitist, it’s exactly the reason why so many beginners are afraid or discouraged to try something new.
Here’s the thing: if you’re doing an activity safely and you enjoy it, that’s ALL that matters.
I do a lot of things.. sometimes too many… and I’m not particularly great at all of them.
I’m not a fabulous writer -have always been a math girl- but if I would have let that fact get into my head, I never would have started blogging. I read a lot of beautifully-written blogs that inspire me to get better (my lovely friend Gena at Choosing Raw comes to mind) but at the same time, some of the most grammatically-correct blogs are also the least interesting to me.
I’m not an extremely talented yogini, despite the fact that I’ve been practicing for years. My tight quads and hammies interfere with a lot of the poses, but practicing yoga makes my heart sing, so I still do it.
I’m a mediocre-at-best gardener, but it’s something I want to learn, and we all enjoy having beautiful flowers and herbs when they do survive.
The fear of not being “good” at something can stand in our way if we let it.
Beginners have to start somewhere. Chances are that the first time you try something, you probably won’t be great at it (unless you’re some kind of prodigy) until you’ve had some practice. Sometimes after dedication and practicing, maybe you still won’t be professional caliber…. and that’s ok.
When I first started running, I felt I’d never be able to finish a mile without my lungs exploding. Can you imagine if I had people telling me I was slow along the way? I probably would have quit before I started. Instead, I was fortunate to be surrounded by positive running buddies who made it fun, and despite their own abilities, they supported my current level while inspiring me to improve. My friend Kelly is a perfect example. She’s a true runner, insanely fast (we’re talking 6-minute miles for 10s of miles), and whenever we run together, she goes at my speed even though it’s a snail’s pace for her.
I’ve become a better runner over time, but I’ll probably never be “great.” I’m great at other things that are more important to me, like being a mom, wife, daughter, friend and sister. Everything else is just for funsies… and if you take it too seriously, that’s a quick way to zap the fun out of it.
This post is just a little reminder to all of those who are “great” at whatever sport or activity you love: lend a hand or some encouragement to someone you see who’s just getting started.
To all of my friends who are beginning a fitness journey: keep up the great work. Do it safely, do what you love, and find a cheering team to support you along the way.
xoxo
Gina
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Great post – I totally agree with everything you said. You do not have to be great at everything, and that’s okay! All that matters is if you enjoy what you’re doing.
You go Gina!! I have been surrounded by some negative people and they have stopped me from doing new things such as running or new classes; because I was afraid to fail. You stand up and keep doing why you’re doing girl! You inspire me more than you know. The way you lead a healthy balanced life with Liv and blogging and sharing your life with us- don’t stop! You are an awesome writer and teacher. It’s all beacause of that I am trying new classes and learning to love my body.
Too bad we don’t know who it was that said this to you – they would regret it!
amen
Gina! This was just what I needed today, I am gearing up for my first triathlon in 2 weeks and my mind is filled with thoughts of “I’m not good enough”! I am excited to do it though and like you said everyone has to start somewhere!!!
I felt the same way before my first tri! I remember that despite training my heart out, I started to (mentally) fall apart a little on the run. The run consisted to two big loops around a neighborhood, and as all these much faster runners passed me on their second loop (I was on my first), easily 5 or 10 of them made it a point to encourage me as they came by, telling me I was doing well, that there was a downhill ahead, that I could do it, etc. I fell in love with my local racing community that day – everyone was SO kind. I hope you have a great race and a similarly supportive experience 🙂
Love this! This is totally off topic, but I wanted to see if there is a good organic prenatal vitamin you can recommend. I have been hearing a lot lately that gmo’s can be found in vitamins! I haven’t started hunting for the perfect organic supplement yet, and hoped maybe you had a suggestion to send me in the right direction! I love your blog and find so much motivating information on here! Keep up the good work!
Thank you for always being so real, kind, and encouraging. I ran my first 5k because of you about a month ago, and next Sunday I will be running my first 5 miler! Eeek! I don’t care that I’m slow, I want to finish it, and most importantly, have fun!
<3
Brilliant, inspiring blog, Gina. Sometimes we all need to remember it’s not being the best that counts, having fun and trying your best is all that matters! x
This is a great post! I totally agree with all of it. It is so easy to get discouraged when you think about not being great at something but really what matters is that you are trying. Who cares if you are not the best? Just try for your personal best!
I love this post! I am quite admittedly average at sports of all sorts, but I keep plugging at it and just enjoy working out for me.
I love, love, love this post! As part of my ED recovery, I’ve had to learn to stop comparing myself to others. I have been running for years, but I am not what most people would call “good”. I did a 5k a few weeks back and mentioned to my therapist that while I can easily run the whole thing, I wasn’t very fast. She reminded me that just finishing, or even making the effort to start it is an amazing accomplishment. I think it is so important to remember to focus on doing our own personal best, especially with fitness, and not compare ourselves to other people because really, what is the point? Anyway, I love your blog, and keep running! Don’t listen to what silly commenters have to say :). You are such an inspiration to so many women!
Appreciate your comment! I myself am in ED recovery and couldn’t agree more!
This post just made me smile. Well put!
Such a lovely post Gina! How much larger would the fitness community be if more “beginners” felt more welcomed and encouraged by those who are more experienced or farther along in their fitness journey? Some very good and thought provoking ideas here. Well done!
You are such a great encourager! It is nice to hear a perspective that is different (and better!) than what many of us usually encounter.
Awesome post Gina. I’m sorry someone said that comment to you, sometimes people can say some really out of place stuff. I’ve had a lot of stuff e-mailed and commented on that’s quite shocking and upsetting. I agree with all that you stated. Just because we aren’t “amazing” or “the best” at something doesn’t mean we shouldn’t pursue it or try it out because we enjoy it! Otherwise, no one would be doing anything for fun. You did your best and tried your hardest, and that’s really all that should be important!
Great post. “The fear of not being “good” at something can stand in our way if we let it.” I have little confidence in my exercise abilities. It keeps me from trying a lot of new-to-me classes at the gym and different workouts. I worry about looking like a disaster or messing up, not being able to keep up with other participants etc. And a lot of this fear comes from unsolicited,negative “advice” I have received (similar to the comment you received about quitting running because you aren’t fast) and even overhearing catty commentary about others. I manage to push it out of my head when I run, because I really do love running! But I still resort to doing YouTube Zumba in my room 😉 Thanks again, it needed to be said!
So with you Erin! It needed to be said and I’m going to be braver about fitness stuff I want to try out.
Thanks for this post! I love to run, but the truth is, I’m slow. I’m faster than I used to be, but I read running blogs where a slow or easy pace is nearly 4 minutes faster from my average pace. But you know what? Running is my favorite cardio. I love it. I’m finishing my PhD and running keeps me sane. It helps my anxiety. And I’ve had some serious medical problems in the past 2 years, so being able to run at all is really a precious, precious gift to me. I’m irate that someone would tell ANYONE that they should stop doing something just because they aren’t fantastic at it. What a horrible thing to say!
Excuse me for saying this, but whoever said that is a jerk. I’d use a different word, but I am a lady;) An attitude like that really bothers me. I’m not a fast runner, I’m pretty slow compared to some other friends who are little speed demons, but that doesn’t mean I shouldn’t do it. I get so many benefits from running, no matter how fast or slow I go.
And for the record, thank you for sharing your running and everything else on this blog. I enjoy your running and knowing not everyone runs a 7 minute mile keeps me going when I’m having a tough day. It feels good to have support and encouragement, even if it’s of the virtual kind:)
What the hell?!? Who would say that. If you are slow, then I’m a turtle – I still run though and support other people who are attempting to run their first 5K, 10K or even just a jog around the block.
Absolutely awesome post, Gina. TOTALLY true on all accounts. I remember my first year of Zumba, I stood in the back. Over the next year, I meandered my way to the middle and for the past 6 months or so, I’m always right up front behind the instructor. If someone had told me, “You suck!” or something early on — when I was already vulnerable and confused by all the steps… I probably would have cried on the spot and never come back to class. And what would that have solved? We should build each other up instead of tearing one another down. Trying really IS what matters most. Bravo to you for bringing this up. While the comment I am sure hurt, it sparked a great post and maybe that commenter will think twice before saying something like that to someone else!
Whoever said that can go kick rocks.
Very well said Gina!! Thank you for sharing this.
This is just what I needed to hear (or read!) this morning. Thank you, Gina!
That blows my mind that someone would actually say that. This post is exactly the kind of reaction I would expect from you: positive, encouraging, inspirational. Your blog is fantastic. <3
Great post, Gina – this is why I’ve been reading your blog for years now! And I think this is really well-written; your dedication and effort clearly show that you’ve been able to improve your writing skills. I’d have to say you’re a GREAT dancer, too 🙂 Thanks for the inspiration this morning!
Dear, Sweet Gina! My first comment on your blog that I get inspiration from every day and have for years….YOU ARE AWESOME, GIRL! And this particular article was exceptionally inspiring with a kick in the pants. Learning to use & utilize our individual power that lies between our ears is our biggest challenge….and reward….and thank you for addressing how important it is that we absolutely DO IT and LET IT BE THE BEST IT CAN BE. You are a gift to my world, and I appreciate the honesty, candor, and vision that you so openly share. Blessings to you and your family 😀
I can’t believe someone posted that. Please know the majority of people reading your blog are cheering you on, no matter what you do. I’m blown away by some people…I wish everyone would be supportive of each other. Whenever I see anyone do anything fitness related it makes my heart sing, no matter how “good” or “bad” they are at the activity. Keep on running!!!
I’m not sure if it was intentional of not, but your post’s title is a line from this poem by Mary Oliver:
http://www.rjgeib.com/thoughts/geese/geese.html
I should add that it’s one of my all-time favorite poems!
THANK YOU for posting this. I definitely needed this today. I am just starting a running program and feel so self-conscious. But you are right, I have to start somewhere and *I* am the one who needs to quit the negative talk and start being my biggest fan. And it isn’t important if I am not “great,” as long as I am having fun along the way.
This was truly lovely and heartfelt. Whoever said that is a doofus. You’re a much faster runner than me, but I love it and I’m not quitting anytime soon. Thanks for opening up a dialogue about this. I think sometimes that people who are in the “Intermediate” stage of any activity are often at a place where they need to feel superior and compare themselves to beginners. To me, an “Advanced” practitioner welcomes the newbie, wanting new company for their activity and happy to introduce others to this new thing.
love this! you are an inspiration!
Shoot…I consider myself an experienced marathoner (I’m even a coach) yet I have never averaged faster than a 12 minute mile. I always tell myself and people I’m coaching that it doesn’t matter how fast you go just as long as you GO. When it comes to racing, the winner and the last person to finish both cross the SAME finish line. Besides, I like to think the people in the back get their money’s worth out of a race. We spend more time on the course enjoying the sights! 🙂
First of all, you ARE a fast runner, so the comment isn’t even accurate. Second of all, that person’s comment is outrageous to me. I have proudly called myself a runner for the last 15 years. My speed and weekly mileage has varied great over the years, but I still call myself “a runner”. I have friends that run off and on and claim not to be a “runner” because they don’t run as much as they think they should, they don’t think they are fast enough, etc. But I tell them they are ” a runner”! There is no minimum speed or distance to qualify yourself for that term. If you have ever done it and have accomplished ANY distance you are a runner.
Thanks for bringing this subject to light. I think it reminds all the newer and more sensitive runners to stand up for who they are and the good they are doing for their bodies. It’s not about impressing other people, its about setting individual goals feeling our best.
Thank you for this!!! Reminded me of this poem I love…
“You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
For a hundred miles through the desert, repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.
Tell me about your despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
Meanwhile the world goes on.
Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain
are moving across the landscapes,
over the prairies and the deep trees,
the mountains and the rivers.
Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,
are heading home again.
Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting —
over and over announcing your place
in the family of things.”
-Mary Oliver
Great post. What an eloquent way to stand up to these “cyber bullies”. Also a great reminder for all of us not to be discouraged when trying out new things. Have a great week.
You’re absolutely right! Comments like that really discourage people from trying anything new. What a terrible thing to say to somebody! Being a beginner is hard enough without encountering an attitude like that. I run but I’m not fast. Doesn’t stop me from trying.
What a great post! Makes me upset that people are just trolling around – trying to knock others down to make themselves feel better. Everything is relative. Your running speed (“slow” by that persons’s standards) is probably fast compared to me (I’m reaaaaaally slow) – but that hasn’t stopped me from running several races (some just for fun 5Ks and a handfull of 10Ks and 1 half marathon). Sometimes my slowness is frustrating, but more often than not, I’m just happy to be out there on the street, putting miles on my sneakers and continuing to move instead of having a sedentary lifestyle. Thanks for all your support and encouragement along life’s journey!!!
This is such a great post, and something that people need reminding of! I am also not the fastest runner, but that has never held me back or even kept me from calling myself a “runner.” The important thing is that you are putting forth the effort to live a healthy, active lifestyle. Who cares if it takes some people 12 minutes to run a mile, they still ran a mile! People need to worry about themselves more and less about other people.
That being said, I am checking in for SSU Workout #2 this morning. I fell off the stability ball about a dozen times… we have a love/hate relationship. It was a difficult workout for me because lunges and the stability ball are not my forte. But it is refreshing to try something different. I’m sure I’ll be feeling the burn tomorrow. 🙂
Thanks for this! I really HATE not being good at things so I can definitely relate. Since I’ve started teaching fitness classes I’ve definitely eased up. I teach a martial arts-inspired cardio class, and a lot of people tell me they’re intimidated by it because they’re not coordinated. It’s too bad that people are afraid of not doing well and therefore miss out on a great workout (especially since in most classes, you need to take the class a few times anyway before you know what you’re doing). Plus, no one’s looking at you anyway, people are either looking at themselves or the instructor. I try to be a good example now and do new classes that seem intimdating to me!
Great post and something we all need to be reminded of.
Thank you for sharing such a positive post! It can be such a harsh and negative world sometimes. I would love to sign up for your Summer Shape up. Thank you!
Life is ALL about the funsies 🙂 Being great a being a mom is the best thing you can be doing, I agree with everything you said here. It is a shame people feel the need to belittle others and have the audacity to tell someone they shouldn’t be doing something that is not only good for their health but their soul. I am not a fast runner by ANY MEANS and if I stay right where I am at for the rest of my running life then I’ll be a happy runner. My goal is to be running races with my grandkids, someone else’s goal is to become fast. That is what makes life great, we are all going different directions. You rock girl!
I LOVE this post. I’ve been returning to fitness after a long hiatus. I’m no longer (but will be!) good at the stuff I was good at and there are new things I want to try! (I’m enthralled by that yoga done with some sort of sling – like yoga plus trapeze & flying! How fun it seems!)
I’ve been holding myself back worrying about this kind of thing. But seeing that someone actually said it and to you!?! Makes me want to get out there more – as did your post x 10!!
LOVE your blog and your attitude. And as someone who was on the receiving end of some public snark just this weekend for helping out with something (not fitness related), I get how you felt.
Glad there are more of us (encouragers) out there than those kinds of jerks.
Namaste Gina!
I promise, every time I see a picture of Liv I think it’s the cutest one yet and then you post another one and that takes the cake. She is the most adorable little girl ever! Gina, you have been such an inspiration to myself and countless others in terms of health and fitness and I can’t believe someone would ever post that comment here. However, sometimes people take the negativity in their lives out on others and it’s sad. It doesn’t matter if you are the fastest runner, the best cook or even the best Zumba-er (is that a word?), all that matters is that you have inspired SO many people to venture out on their health and fitness journey.
Thanks again for having such a positive message, Gina. I ran my first ever race of any kind this weekend–a 5K, with my fiance and another friend. I am really slow and had to walk here and there, but I don’t care. I finished a race and it was fun and I will do it again.
Beautiful post Gina!!! I couldn’t have said it better myself. I think that as adults, we let fear of not being good enough hold us back so often. If we were more like we were as kids (fearless, not caring what other people think) we’d try so much more and probably feel happier and more fulfilled because of it. I love the way you addressed that not-so-nice comment, and how you’ve encouraged others to keep on discovering new activities. About to tweet this out now! 🙂
Great post! I loved it. I started running with my mom when I was very young and had to take a lot of walk breaks but her encouragement kept me going. All the way to the Boston Marathon, which she joined me for. Had I not been lifted up by her encouragement and positivity I would have never gotten there. And to be honest, people that hate on others make me that much less impressed by them. They are not a very good representation of the running community as a whole. Love you and your positivity Gina!
I found this post at exactly the right time.
I have always gone to the gym but mostly use the cardio machines, I recently got into HIT training and weights, I found some great kettle bell exercise’s today that I really wanted to try in the gym as I don’t have the equipment at home but felt really self conscious as I thought the professional “lifters” would wonder what the hell I was doing : )
I am now motivated to give it a go – hey even the “Pro’s” had to start somewhere!
A great big THANK YOU!!!
This post actually made me cry! So beautifully written. My opinion is that if you only wrote about the things you were amazingly good at, your blog wouldn’t connect with nearly as many people as it does. You’re so approachable because you want to learn about fitness with your readers! Instead of always writing about what you DID or already know, you write a lot about what you’re doing NOW so that we can try and learn/experience right along with you. Your blog, and you, are beautiful inside and out. I know you don’t let the haters get you down, but here’s another reminder not to. Your readers, myself included, love you! 🙂
Haters just be hatin’ Gina, haters be hatin’.
I remember some of your race recaps and I actually thought you ran pretty fast – much faster than me anyway! 😉
I say something very similar to new participants (especially in Zumba), “As long as you are having fun, and you don’t hurt yourself or anyone else do whatever you want and have fun!”
Touché! I have no idea why anyone would discourage you or anyone else from running. It’s an individual sport – and I would hope that most secure runners aim to a. have fun and b. achieve their own personal fitness goals. Unfortunately that person who made the discouraging comment has the wrong idea.
Also, if you were really good at everything you tried the first time, your blog would seem fake. Thanks for keepin’ it real and inspiring us all. That’s why I keep reading. 🙂