You don’t have to be “good”
This past weekend, I got a comment suggesting that I should stop running because I’m not very fast. It made me pretty upset, not because this commenter was saying I was slow -I’ve been called far worse since I started blogging- but because it’s frustrating to see that kind of attitude in the fitness community. In fitness, and in life, we’re all aspiring to achieve different goals and so many people are just beginning their journey, whatever that may be. Support (or lack thereof) can make or break an experience, dramatically impacting the final result.
As an instructor, one of the things I hear every day from participants is: “I’m not very good at this!”
“Oh, it’s my first time taking Zumba and I’m not coordinated”
“I’m not very fast”
“I can’t hold a plank for very long”
It goes on and on and on.
I always tell them that no ones cares how far/fast/skilled they are- just do the best they can and have fun with it! But comments like the one I received made me realize that some people do care about how others perform and aren’t shy to voice their opinions. In addition to being elitist, it’s exactly the reason why so many beginners are afraid or discouraged to try something new.
Here’s the thing: if you’re doing an activity safely and you enjoy it, that’s ALL that matters.
I do a lot of things.. sometimes too many… and I’m not particularly great at all of them.
I’m not a fabulous writer -have always been a math girl- but if I would have let that fact get into my head, I never would have started blogging. I read a lot of beautifully-written blogs that inspire me to get better (my lovely friend Gena at Choosing Raw comes to mind) but at the same time, some of the most grammatically-correct blogs are also the least interesting to me.
I’m not an extremely talented yogini, despite the fact that I’ve been practicing for years. My tight quads and hammies interfere with a lot of the poses, but practicing yoga makes my heart sing, so I still do it.
I’m a mediocre-at-best gardener, but it’s something I want to learn, and we all enjoy having beautiful flowers and herbs when they do survive.
The fear of not being “good” at something can stand in our way if we let it.
Beginners have to start somewhere. Chances are that the first time you try something, you probably won’t be great at it (unless you’re some kind of prodigy) until you’ve had some practice. Sometimes after dedication and practicing, maybe you still won’t be professional caliber…. and that’s ok.
When I first started running, I felt I’d never be able to finish a mile without my lungs exploding. Can you imagine if I had people telling me I was slow along the way? I probably would have quit before I started. Instead, I was fortunate to be surrounded by positive running buddies who made it fun, and despite their own abilities, they supported my current level while inspiring me to improve. My friend Kelly is a perfect example. She’s a true runner, insanely fast (we’re talking 6-minute miles for 10s of miles), and whenever we run together, she goes at my speed even though it’s a snail’s pace for her.
I’ve become a better runner over time, but I’ll probably never be “great.” I’m great at other things that are more important to me, like being a mom, wife, daughter, friend and sister. Everything else is just for funsies… and if you take it too seriously, that’s a quick way to zap the fun out of it.
This post is just a little reminder to all of those who are “great” at whatever sport or activity you love: lend a hand or some encouragement to someone you see who’s just getting started.
To all of my friends who are beginning a fitness journey: keep up the great work. Do it safely, do what you love, and find a cheering team to support you along the way.
xoxo
Gina
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Thank you for this blog! You are awesome and helping so many people every day in ways you’ll never know. I think a lot of times, negative energy stems from jealousy, so maybe you should be flattered. 🙂 Anyone who cares enough to leave a negative comment on any of your posts should do one thing, stop reading your blog. They make the choice to read it, so if they don’t like it, don’t read it! 🙂 Silly people.
Great post! I would have given up on running a long time ago if I let things like that impact me but I’m still going strong. Its about personal progress, who cares about everyone else? : )
great post. you are very inspiring! i love your blog for so many reasons, inspiration is just one of them.
Gina you’ve handled this with such poise! It’s so frustrating to hear when someone treats others this way, as I cannot imagine EVER discouraging someone from fitness-related ANYTHING! A run is a run is a run. No matter if it’s 3 miles done in 30 minutes, or 5 miles done in 30 minutes. Everyone should be PROUD of where they are, and the fact that they even chose a run over, say, being a couch potato! You are an outstanding person, and I am even more of a fan (is this possible?) considering how gracefully you handle life’s “finer” moments. Keep up the great work, and thank you for sharing!
I agree, it’s very sad that anyone would say something to that matter in the fitness community. Do what makes YOU feel good. And why are people caring, or maybe NOT caring what other people say. I’m a runner. Not that fast, but I wouldnt consider myself a slower runner. When I see other people running, it gets me excited! I want to yell out my car window “YOU CAN DO IT!” of course I dont because that would be creepy 😛
Great post. You are an inspiration.
I love that I’m not the only one who wants to cheer people on! When I’m driving and pass runners, I usually say goofy stuff like, “Get it, girl!” (with the windows full rolled up, of course). I give them an air high five in my head too.
Amen.
One of my favorite posts you’ve written in the 3+ years I’ve been reading your blog. SO relateable. I think most of us can be guilty of being pretentious sometimes with fitness, but i’m guessing all of us know what it’s like to be on the receiving end of elitism, too. A great reminder for all, regardless of fitness abilities! Thank you!
Why would someone even say that to you??
I find that I actually really enjoy being a beginner at some things! I’ve been playing golf and tennis for years and I stink! I still love playing! On the other hand, I’m actually a pretty fast runner but I hate it! I find that sometimes, I don’t want to be good at things, I just want to do them, have fun and then move on to the next thing. As a child (and a young adult), I was in ballet classes where I was constantly being corrected to achieve ballet perfection. These days, I don’t care about being perfect as long as I am having a good time!
Keep running!
Thank you for this! I too like to do a lot of things to stay active…but it always bothers me that I am not particularily “great” at anything. For me it is all about balance. Balance work, being a parent, taking care of a special needs child, being a wife, friend, sister AND doing things for my body that keeps me feeling healthy and energized. I need to remind myself that the only person I am competing against is myself and not to worry about what others think:)
Workout 2 had sweat dripping off my nose when doing push ups…always a good sign!
Awesome post! I could not agree more!
Love it! I feel the same way!
Thank you for this post Gina! I was always interested in doing Zumba, but never did because I was embarrassed that I wouldn’t be good. It wasn’t until my cousin encouraged me to go that my thoughts quickly changed. The realization came to me that I didn’t have to be good to go to Zumba…as long as I was having fun and kept moving that was all that mattered. Now I look forward to going everyday and it has changed my life and my confidence, and most importantly, I know I’m doing something good for my mind and my body.
Go Gina!
Thank you for posting this! It’s that sort of attitude that stops beginners like me from trying to get better at running. Me and my husband went for a run the other day (he’s insanely athletic) and I felt so pathetic and slow and wanted to quit because I felt I “wasn’t doing well enough”. He told me to just keep going, even if we were walking, and kept making me laugh and saying that if we were having fun, it didn’t matter what we were doing or how slow we were going. Then at the end I felt comfortable enough to push it for the last half mile and felt really proud of myself. I’m never going to be able to run like my husband, but he doesn’t care, so neither should I. Shame on people for making anyone feel bad about themselves!
Amazing post. I’m in ok shape, and sometimes, when I’m feeling down, I start comparing myself to other people that are in better shape than me. But then I remember that it doesn’t matter what other people are like – it matter that I’m trying and improving myself. This post is a wonderful reminder that we should do things because we like to and not to simply be the best.
Your composure, perspective, and positive attitude continue to inspire me.
As for the week’s check-in, since I had to rearrange last week’s schedule I shouldn’t do any strength training today, so going to do Friday’s Steady State today (long walk on a trail) and shuffle the rest a day later. Should be back on track by end of the week!
Thank you! 🙂
AMEN sista
That’s terrible someone said that. Whenever someone insults me, I try and think where their insult is coming from- what are they bad at, that they feel the need to insult you to feel better?
Thank you for the reminder that it’s ok not to be good at things. I am definitely guilty of not always doing things because I tell myself I’m not good at it. I’ve recently gotten into painting and drawing- because I enjoy doing it even though I’m “not very good”.
Great post!
Wow! I consider myself a runner. It is something I enjoy more than any other fitness activity out there. But I average 9 minute miles at best and that is actually an improved pace that has taken years to achieve. The joy I feel while running is something no one can take away from me. I know I will never win a race, but the proud feeling I get after every PR, and every time I cross a finish line I didn’t think I’d reach is enough for me. Keep running Gina, and blow a big juicy raspberry at those negative commenters!
Thank you for this reminder, Gina. I’ve had a hard time getting back to workouts since G was born (TEN months ago!), because I’m not “good” at anything.
Great post! Keep doing what you’re doing. You are so inspiring to others! 🙂
What an amazing post! Thanks for spreading the positivity! Life is hard enough sometimes, people need to focus on eencouragement and support instead of negativity and criticism.
THANK YOU, this post was exactly what I needed to see today! I will bookmark this post and read it when I feel down about my slowest runs. I just started running about 5 months ago and I am so slow, but I take pride in small victories, like finishing a race no matter what my time is. When it’s your first race, it’s an automatic PR! I think it’s a mark of true character to try your hardest even when you are not very good at something.
You know what? We are good at TRYING, and that is important.
Great post, Gina. It angers me that there are people out there with that kind of attitude. Honestly, I’d have to quit life because I’m not particularly good at anything. I do my best and put my heart into everything I do and I’m happy so I think that’s all that matters.
Especially in fitness. I run, do yoga and Crossfit. I’m not that good at any of them, but I’m better than everyone who is still sitting on the couch.
WTF is this person’s problem? Don’t you run like 8.5-minute miles? Even if you ran 10-minute miles, that’s totally acceptable. And I’d even back you up if you ran at a walking pace. A lot of running speed has to do with form and musculature, and last time I checked you weren’t trying to take home a trophy against the elite Kenyan runners, so how is your enjoying running a bad thing?
You rock, girl. Don’t forget it.
And your family is adorable. 🙂
amen! life would be so boring if everyone was overly self-conscious about their abilities. the fun part is starting out at the bottom and seeing improvements day by day. 🙂
I”m blown away by people who bring negative thoughts (not constructive…just plain negative) into blogs. What is the point? This is a fantastic post. You inspire me!!
Good for you, Gina for speaking on this point. All we can do is our best. I also wanted to check-in with SSU progress, -1lb and -2% body-fat after first week. So thank-you for this program, I am loving the challenge!
I could not agree more with this post! People forget what it is like to begin or simply be at a different level and without encouragement we would stop before we could achieve greatness! Good for you and keep up all the good work- I too will never be a fast runner but if I finish I feel I have accomplished something great!
Beautifully written!!!
Love this post Gina! A great reminder that we should all be more supportive of one another and kinder to ourselves. Sending love <3
So true! And the part about being great at being a mother and wife and everything else is just for funsies? Could NOT agree more! 🙂 Thanks for the encouragement.
Thanks Gina for such an honest post. I have been feeling frustrated myself with blogging, photography and recipe creating but I enjoy doing it so much that I guess in the end that is what matters most! Thanks again love + shine Courtstar
This post was so inspirational! I hear all the time from people – “I don’t go to the gym because I feel stupid walking on the treadmill next to all the fit people jogging and running.” And I always say – we all started out walking. There is no better feeling then starting out struggling and feeling the changes in your body as you make progress. 🙂
Great post! There have been times that I discount myself by saying things like “I’m not a runner. I’m more of a slow jogger” but you are right! Even if I run at a slow pace, I am a runner. 🙂
Love this post! & loving workout 2 – by coincidence, the two other girls in the weight room with me today were following a magazine’s stability ball routine. Between the 3 of us, there was quiiite a struggle goin’ on up in there 😀
I definitely agreed with everything you had to say and I am sorry you had to get a comment like that. I really do feel that people only make comments like that when they’re dealing with an insecurity of their own, so I see it far more as a reflection on them than you. But absolutely, it’s all for fun! I suck at art but I love to go to pottery painting studios and decorate things – even if poorly! That’s what life is all about!
Wow—I really needed to hear this today, actually. Thank you for sharing. I don’t comment that often, but I always appreciate your positive attitude so much. The title of your post also reminded me of Mary Oliver’s poem “Wild Geese” : )
I also don’t like when people say they’re not a “real runner” or “Oh I was just jogging.” Who exactly is the running police timing you to determine the threshold you must cross to become a real runner? If none of us slow people ran, who would you feel superior to, running police??? I LOVE running and I encourage people to at least try it. Just try to build up to it and see if you eventually like it. But I also tell them if you gave it a shot and didn’t like it, find something else. There are way too many ways to get fit to torture yourself doing something you hate.
It took me 48 years to get over my insecurities and fear of judgement (how I look when I exercise, if my form is ridicules, if I’m slow as a snail etc) and I’m just starting to enjoy the world of fitness that suddenly seems open to me. Thank you for your wonderful post and constant encouragement! xo
Love it! Thanks Gina!
Person who thinks she should quit running– you should quit hating and get a life.
I just loved this, Gina! Thank you so much for bringing this up.
For me, one of the things I love most about taking on a new challenge or activity is the joy in the progress I make along the way. I loved to feel stronger and looking more defined after I started lifting weights. Another example is finally being able to do a yoga pose that I’ve been working on. Those triumphs are half the reason I do many activities. It’s a great morale and self confidence booster!
Gina, forget that hater! I hold you in the highest regard, because you are inspiring, motivating, and genuinely care about your readers. You are inspiring, because you are NOT perfect. It’s what we all relate to. It’s your spirit and honesty that connects us to you.
I admire the fact that you try so many things, regardless of your skill level. Many of us give up before we even get started because of negative comments or lack of self confidence. Your post was another example of how you move us to become better. So thanks for that. And keep doing what you’re doing! 🙂
I really enjoyed reading this post! It is such an awesome reminder to do certain things for me and keep a positive attitude!
Awesome, awesome, awesome, Gina! Thanks for the reminder. We all need to hear it sometimes!
I love this post because I’ve been working on my running a lot lately and I’ll never be fast but I don’t race to beat other people, I race to beat myself.
I totally agree with the idea that you should do what you enjoy (as long as you’re not hurting anyone else) and not get all judgmental or elitist. I’m a slow runner and I know I’ll probably never run 6-minute miles, and nonetheless I love running and racing.
I do think that, to make money and/or be famous and/or have a career in something, you usually need to be good at it (even people like the Kardashians are good at something– marketing themselves). But otherwise, who cares? Have fun and enjoy life!
If our goal is to be great at everything we do, we will always fail. The most important thing to do is have fun. Don’t worry about that person and don’t let their negativity bring you down. It’s about them, not you.
It always astonishes me when I see that some people are really just buttheads! Who wants to make someone else feel badly? It really amazes me that some people genuinely do? When I do see this, I just know that their the ones with something to work on. There’s a reason they put people down. I’d rather be slow at running then be a jerk, any day! I feel sorry for people who have to look down on others to feel good about themselves.
I really appreciate this post! I am one of those who needs the encouragement and motivation. While, I don’t actually know you and you don’t know who I am, you’re web encouragement has made a big impact on my fitness journey. So, I thank you!
And I think it’s great that you try so many ways to be active, even if you’re not great at them. That’s not what like is about!
Love this post!! You don’t have to be great at everything and so many people think they have too. Also, I started week 2 of SSU and did my cardo this morning at 5am and am going to the gym once the hubby gets home.