You don’t have to be “good”
This past weekend, I got a comment suggesting that I should stop running because I’m not very fast. It made me pretty upset, not because this commenter was saying I was slow -I’ve been called far worse since I started blogging- but because it’s frustrating to see that kind of attitude in the fitness community. In fitness, and in life, we’re all aspiring to achieve different goals and so many people are just beginning their journey, whatever that may be. Support (or lack thereof) can make or break an experience, dramatically impacting the final result.
As an instructor, one of the things I hear every day from participants is: “I’m not very good at this!”
“Oh, it’s my first time taking Zumba and I’m not coordinated”
“I’m not very fast”
“I can’t hold a plank for very long”
It goes on and on and on.
I always tell them that no ones cares how far/fast/skilled they are- just do the best they can and have fun with it! But comments like the one I received made me realize that some people do care about how others perform and aren’t shy to voice their opinions. In addition to being elitist, it’s exactly the reason why so many beginners are afraid or discouraged to try something new.
Here’s the thing: if you’re doing an activity safely and you enjoy it, that’s ALL that matters.
I do a lot of things.. sometimes too many… and I’m not particularly great at all of them.
I’m not a fabulous writer -have always been a math girl- but if I would have let that fact get into my head, I never would have started blogging. I read a lot of beautifully-written blogs that inspire me to get better (my lovely friend Gena at Choosing Raw comes to mind) but at the same time, some of the most grammatically-correct blogs are also the least interesting to me.
I’m not an extremely talented yogini, despite the fact that I’ve been practicing for years. My tight quads and hammies interfere with a lot of the poses, but practicing yoga makes my heart sing, so I still do it.
I’m a mediocre-at-best gardener, but it’s something I want to learn, and we all enjoy having beautiful flowers and herbs when they do survive.
The fear of not being “good” at something can stand in our way if we let it.
Beginners have to start somewhere. Chances are that the first time you try something, you probably won’t be great at it (unless you’re some kind of prodigy) until you’ve had some practice. Sometimes after dedication and practicing, maybe you still won’t be professional caliber…. and that’s ok.
When I first started running, I felt I’d never be able to finish a mile without my lungs exploding. Can you imagine if I had people telling me I was slow along the way? I probably would have quit before I started. Instead, I was fortunate to be surrounded by positive running buddies who made it fun, and despite their own abilities, they supported my current level while inspiring me to improve. My friend Kelly is a perfect example. She’s a true runner, insanely fast (we’re talking 6-minute miles for 10s of miles), and whenever we run together, she goes at my speed even though it’s a snail’s pace for her.
I’ve become a better runner over time, but I’ll probably never be “great.” I’m great at other things that are more important to me, like being a mom, wife, daughter, friend and sister. Everything else is just for funsies… and if you take it too seriously, that’s a quick way to zap the fun out of it.
This post is just a little reminder to all of those who are “great” at whatever sport or activity you love: lend a hand or some encouragement to someone you see who’s just getting started.
To all of my friends who are beginning a fitness journey: keep up the great work. Do it safely, do what you love, and find a cheering team to support you along the way.
xoxo
Gina
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Love this post! You are spot on.
I competed in track and field in college, but after I graduated, I found myself just working out and doing “fun sports” to stay in shape. I am still in very good shape, but I miss the competitive aspect of organized sports. I love working out, but I need something more to work toward. However, I have been such a wimp in actually starting something. Everyone automatically thinks I should be super athletic at everything because I was a collegiate athlete, and it makes me self conscious to try anything new. I thought about golf or tennis or even triathalons, but there is this voice in the back of my head that knows people are judging me and, frankly, that I am judging myself. I am used to being athletic and being “good” at sports, but this post reminded me that EVERYONE was once a beginner and that the feeling of progress is one of the best things about starting something new and really going after it. I think you convinced me to reassess my situation and just GO FOR IT, even if I’m not that great at it 🙂
Thank you….everyone needs to learn how to be a beginner and struggle through to the best of their own abilities. An important lesson to teach our kids. Who wants to send a message like that to anyone who enjoys something.
Summer shape up for this week is awesome.
Amen, amen, amen!! Love this Gina, simply amazing (just like all your other posts) 🙂
Gina, thanks for writing about such an important subject. I couldn’t agree more and props to you for addressing the situation and seeing a lesson in it.
This is a beautiful post that really spoke to me today! Thank you for sharing and for being an inspiration to so many! Keep up the great work!
What a lovely post. It’s good to have a reminder that it’s ok to be a beginner – I have trouble with that and get discouraged easily with new challenges, especially the physical kind, like when I recently tried paddle boarding for the first time and couldn’t stand in the choppy water for longer than 30 seconds at a time, when everyone else made it look easy!
As they say, haters gonna hate. People who speak spitefully/negatively are usually pretty unhappy with their own lives 😉
I’m sorry, but if we told people they should stop participating in activities because they aren’t particularly “good” or “fast” nobody would do ANYthing! It’s all relative, which is the beauty of recreational fitness! Excellent post.
Thank you for your Blog this morning, I was feeling very discourged thinking I can’t be as good as others with the exercises that we are doing. I am having fun learning them, I have exercised for years but am trying new things which includes Body Flow and running which I am not very good at either of those things right now, I may improve with time but as long as I am trying and having fun, that is all that matters. Sorry that someone was rude to you, no matter how strong we are, hurtful words pierce our hearts and it hurts. Thank you for taking the time to BLog, you encourage me and I love the recipes and workouts!!! Thank you!!
Love this post! Your blog never fails to encourage me in my fitness journey. Thanks Gina!!
What a terrible, unnecessary comment for someone to make to you. I hope this post highlighted the fact that you are a optimistic, positive person and clearly that is one of the many reasons you have such a successful blog. Being good or great has little to do with one’s success. Perfectly written post!
I’m so sorry somebody said something like that to you, but what a GREAT way for you to respond! I love this post, it is so encouraging; I myself am a perfectionist and I am one who is likely to shy away from something I’m not “good enough” because I judge myself too harshly. Your blog has actually been one of the reasons I’ve TRIED new things (like zumba, which was so fun even though I WAS crazy uncoordinated- your enthusiasm just encouraged me not to care and keep going!), so thanks. Please don’t let some unthoughtful comment phase you- we <3 you Gina!
Awesome post…as usual! I’m also sharing this with my kids because they have heard me telling them that everyone has to start somewhere with sports, new concepts in their school work, activities, etc. and it’s nice to have them “hear” it from someone else and to know that not everything comes naturally to everyone and that we all start out as beginners!
In my teens I did karate for 7 years. I was super thiny and skiny and there was no way that I manage to perform a good quality kata. It was also very hard that I manage to win in a fight. But I still did it, and even though I was the worst child in the class, I loved every second of it. My teammates were very suportive, and noone broke my nose, even if he could.
Thank you Gina for this post, I really needed to hear it right now. I’m struggling to get back into a regular fitness and routine and have been trying to do your Summer Shape Up workouts but have been discouraged as of late because it is taking me so long to complete the workouts. This was just a good reminder that even though I’m not “good” I always end the workout with a smile on my face and that’s what matters!!
AMEN!!!
Thanks for posting this Gina! I really needed to read this today. So many times I think people, myself included, quit at something because they’re not “good” at it, so rather than give themselves the chance to enjoy it the quit instead.
I am insane; I love running. I love the way I feel after a good run, however, I am not “good” at it. I run 10 minute miles…at best, but the feeling for me far outweighs how good I am at it.
Beautiful post! I’m so glad we don’t need to be great at everything or I’d never run, do yoga, lift weights or swim. I’d be stuck in the kitchen making nachos. Because I’m damn good at making those 😉
I think this is a great post. No matter the speed- you are a real inspiration and setting a positive example for your daughter too!
YOU ARE AWESOME, GINA! 🙂
LOVE LOVE LOVE this post! I’ve constantly said over and over throughout the years that I’m not good enough to do X, Y or Z. But this is a great reminder that we do not have to be good at anything or everything! Just enjoying ourselves is what matters!
What a great post, not just for fitness but for life in general!! We all have to start somewhere when we try new things. It’s far better to be someone’s cheerleader than the reason they give up!! =)
Thank you for this. I’m not great at anything, except my career as a critical care nurse. I’ve been trying to run a 5k at a decent pace for a year. I’m overweight and slow. But I’m trying. And it makes me feel amazing t even walk/run a 5k. My brother and my fiancé are gifted athletes and thankfully they are supportive, despite the fact they can probably crawl faster than my run. It makes all the difference. It’s why I follow your blog- you’re realistic. We all start somewhere. 🙂
Wow………I am trying to understand why someone feels the need to tell you to not do something……I am sure it says everything about them and zero about you. Good for you having a great attitude Gina………….you do so many things well………..and share the good and bad with your readers. I love it!
Thank you for writing this. I needed this encouragement in about EVERY aspect of my life right now! Love your blog!
I loved this post. It’s my favorite in a while.
Someone said that?! Seriously people have some class.. who cares is right! I’m a fitness instructor but I can’t do pullups and I’m not great at pushups. It has to do with genetics and body type as well. Just cause you aren’t great at every thing in fitness doesn’t mean anything. We are both still in excellent shape! 🙂
Wow, that person must have really low self-esteem to say something like that. My guess would be he/she is an okay runner but has little else to feel good about. That’s a shame.
I recently read a quote someone had left in the comments section over on “Peanut Butter Fingers” that said, “The people who know the least about you always have the most to say.” Isn’t that always the way?
I am a fellow slow runner and I am also now starting over in my fitness routine due to health issues. I used to work out two hours a day, I was a warrior (in my own mind!) now, I can only handle 30 minutes a day. My point is that my current physical/emotional state, a comment like the one you received might cause me to think “What’s the point?” But I’m NOT going to think that because I have my friends and your wonderful blog letting me know that all progress is good progress and I should keep going. Maybe next week I will make it to 40 minutes a day and keep building. 🙂
Thank you for your wonderful blog!
Emma,
I love that quote…“The people who know the least about you always have the most to say.”
So true!!
loved that, too. so very true!
When I first starting running I had some ‘friends’ who made fun of the fact that I was slow. And these were non-runners – the nerve!! At my first marathon I walked a lot of it (and had a blast) and I kept thinking the following – “Q – You know what they call the last person to finish a marathon? A- A marathoner”. I will never be a ‘good’ runner and I am in no danger of a winning a race – but I have a great time and really that’s what matters. And when a fellow runner flies past me and my insecurity rears its ugly head – I just remind myself that I am for sure a MUCH better tap-dancer than they are!
I think that a comment like that is just simply destructive . . . what a way to squash someone’s confidence and motivation – has no place in an industry that supports pursuing a healthier lifestyle. I guess I always keep in mind that no matter what I’m doing – even if it isn’t the heaviest/fastest/most graceful, at least I’m that much farther along than the person sitting on the couch! Sorry you had to be the target of such a comment – especially since you are so motivating to so many people, that person had no clue!
Take care – chin up,
Mo
very well said. i am so glad there are people like you taking the time to encourage others to go after and achieve their personal success.
Such a great post. Your blog is so inspiring to so many people. I just finished week 1 of the SSU and I can’t remember when I felt this great. Thank you again for everything you do.
I absolutely adore this post with my whole heart. You should see my prego butt trying to run these days. Slowwwwwww slow and slower. But at least I am moving. If someone called me slow while running right now, I would probably cry and then punch them in the face.
LOVE YOU!!!!
love you!!
That is terrible for someone to say that. Well said in your post I agree with everything you say.
Keep up the great work on your site. On a side note, your hair is beautiful!!!
Brilliant post, Gina! It’s so important to keep in mind that we’re all on different journeys, fitness or in any facet of life, and that’s what makes us individuals! I believe that we are all blessed with different, natural abilities and we need to strive to share them with the world. It may be culinary skills, to make amazing and inspiring food or a great sense of humor to make people laugh and lighten up when needed. I wish more people would adopt the supportive attitude, but that’s a choice one has to make. Kudos to you, Gina, for continuing to inspire people daily! Your readers <3 you!
Loved this post! I’ve been struggling with letting fear (of not being good enough; of making a bad decision) paralyze me now that I’m trying to figure out the next stage of my professional life. In fitness and in life it’s often most important to take that first step. If you commit to something, you will always get back what you put in.
Thanks for this beautifully written post!
SO GLAD you posted this. A friend once told me that while walking on the treadmill a person came over and said to her, “You know, these treadmills are for people who run.”
She was just starting an exercise habit and that comment stopped her dead in her tracks.
Thanks for addressing this. People need to WATCH THEY MOUTHS.
amen.
Thank you for being a source of such positivity, and for spreading happiness and inspiration to countless people who you don’t even know. Your blog is always a nice little happy point of my day.
And this post right here is why I’ve continued to read your blog for years. You and your outlook on life are inspiring. Keep on running. 🙂
Thank you for your spot-on post! Whether or not I vocalize it, I often belittle (and consequently limit) myself without realizing it! I’m a slow runner and can’t go for long distances, but I like being on the pavement and should not let “not being good at running” stop me. Or, for example, I am a yoga instructor who can’t get into a lot of the “advanced” poses because my hamstrings are tight. I find myself making self-deprecating comments about this, and those really don’t serve me!
Your post is a great reminder for me to accept what I have been blessed with and do my own thing!! 🙂
Iris @ Anatomy & Intuition
Beautiful post! Life is way too short to be negative towards others or towards ourselves. Thank you for continuing to write such a fabulous blog. 🙂
I loved your post today. I totally agree, if I let fear of failure and fear that I am no going to do things perfectly, that would have stopped me from doing a lot of things in my life. I know I am not perfect at the things I do, but it doesn’t stop me from trying my best.
I loved the workout this morning as well. It kicked my butt. My daughter borrowed my ball because she is trying to start labor, so I modified the ball moves to pushups and spiderman planks. It worked great. Thanks, Kathy
Just found your blog and am your newest follower 🙂 I do a Fitness linkup on the first Friday of the month and I’m also a military SO. Looking forward to reading more!
-kelly
sweettea-lemonade.blogspot.com
Love this!!!!
Thank you for this. It’s totally true, but it’s so easy to fall into the comparison trap! I am definitely guilty of not doing things or quitting them when I can’t be perfect at them (don’t run because I can only do it for a minute, don’t start eating healthy because I’ve already blown this week, etc.) so I appreciate this post. Very motivational.
Thanks for addressing this topic. I studied Spanish in college as my minor and lived in Ecuador and served an 18 month Spanish speaking mission. Especially at first I was criticized for my gringa accent. Totally hurt my feelings and made me want to just give up on speaking another language. But that would just be delaying my progression and so I took it as constructive criticism and worked on my accent.
I think you and I both run about the same half marathon time and I don’t think either one of us is slow!
Thank you for this! I started exercising and running about a year and a half ago and I’ve gone from not even being to run a full mile to being able to run 3 on a consistent basis. I’m by no means “fast” as my mile times are usually about 10 minutes, but I have a passion for it nonetheless. I get discouraged when I see posts and pictures of people accomplishing so much more than I can, and sometimes I just have to remind myself that even if I’m not as strong or as fast, I still share the same passions!
LOVE. After reading this, I realized I’m not sure what I’m actually “good” at. Or how I even define it! I know that I’m “good enough” I suppose, and that’s all that matters.
Although, I have to say, this is precisely why I’m training for a half marathon distance WITHOUT the goal of entering a race. My eye on the prize is a beautiful trail in the rocky mountains that just so happens to be a half marathon distance. Just me + the mountains is all I need! I could care less about PRs, I just want to get it done! 😀
Thank you so much for this! I’m a slow runner who has also heard so many comments about how I shouldn’t attempt certain distances because I’m not fast enough. If the course is still open and I’ve conditioned myself for the time and distance, what business is it of anyone else’s how long it takes me to finish? I’m not an elite runner…few are. There’s no shame in that 🙂
Fantastic post. I also struggle with that “not good enough” feeling. This post really made my day – thank you so much!
Thank you so much for this post! You are truly an inspiration!