You don’t have to be “good”
This past weekend, I got a comment suggesting that I should stop running because I’m not very fast. It made me pretty upset, not because this commenter was saying I was slow -I’ve been called far worse since I started blogging- but because it’s frustrating to see that kind of attitude in the fitness community. In fitness, and in life, we’re all aspiring to achieve different goals and so many people are just beginning their journey, whatever that may be. Support (or lack thereof) can make or break an experience, dramatically impacting the final result.
As an instructor, one of the things I hear every day from participants is: “I’m not very good at this!”
“Oh, it’s my first time taking Zumba and I’m not coordinated”
“I’m not very fast”
“I can’t hold a plank for very long”
It goes on and on and on.
I always tell them that no ones cares how far/fast/skilled they are- just do the best they can and have fun with it! But comments like the one I received made me realize that some people do care about how others perform and aren’t shy to voice their opinions. In addition to being elitist, it’s exactly the reason why so many beginners are afraid or discouraged to try something new.
Here’s the thing: if you’re doing an activity safely and you enjoy it, that’s ALL that matters.
I do a lot of things.. sometimes too many… and I’m not particularly great at all of them.
I’m not a fabulous writer -have always been a math girl- but if I would have let that fact get into my head, I never would have started blogging. I read a lot of beautifully-written blogs that inspire me to get better (my lovely friend Gena at Choosing Raw comes to mind) but at the same time, some of the most grammatically-correct blogs are also the least interesting to me.
I’m not an extremely talented yogini, despite the fact that I’ve been practicing for years. My tight quads and hammies interfere with a lot of the poses, but practicing yoga makes my heart sing, so I still do it.
I’m a mediocre-at-best gardener, but it’s something I want to learn, and we all enjoy having beautiful flowers and herbs when they do survive.
The fear of not being “good” at something can stand in our way if we let it.
Beginners have to start somewhere. Chances are that the first time you try something, you probably won’t be great at it (unless you’re some kind of prodigy) until you’ve had some practice. Sometimes after dedication and practicing, maybe you still won’t be professional caliber…. and that’s ok.
When I first started running, I felt I’d never be able to finish a mile without my lungs exploding. Can you imagine if I had people telling me I was slow along the way? I probably would have quit before I started. Instead, I was fortunate to be surrounded by positive running buddies who made it fun, and despite their own abilities, they supported my current level while inspiring me to improve. My friend Kelly is a perfect example. She’s a true runner, insanely fast (we’re talking 6-minute miles for 10s of miles), and whenever we run together, she goes at my speed even though it’s a snail’s pace for her.
I’ve become a better runner over time, but I’ll probably never be “great.” I’m great at other things that are more important to me, like being a mom, wife, daughter, friend and sister. Everything else is just for funsies… and if you take it too seriously, that’s a quick way to zap the fun out of it.
This post is just a little reminder to all of those who are “great” at whatever sport or activity you love: lend a hand or some encouragement to someone you see who’s just getting started.
To all of my friends who are beginning a fitness journey: keep up the great work. Do it safely, do what you love, and find a cheering team to support you along the way.
xoxo
Gina
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Great post! 🙂 I will never be a “great” runner, but I run.
I just started Zumba and Yoga because of you! You are a wonderful, positive inspiration to us all!
This is a beautiful post <3
This post is absolutely amazing – I had to share it.
Honestly, the thing I love most about running (besides the fact that it’s always a challenge), is that it’s not at all a comparison sport. The only person that matters to the runner is the runner themselves – it’s not outrunning other people, being extremely fast or going 10s of miles, it’s about finding what works for you individually and making yourself proud.
This was a great post! Very inspirational! Could you imagine if we all quit doing things just because some other random person thinks we’re not good enough. It’s not about satisfying their expectations…it’s up to each individual’s goals and expectations. I feel sorry for this person who wrote that to you….they’re probably miserable about things in their life and are trying to spread the negativity to others.
i think that all of the people who openly express judgement and negativity have turmoil in their own lives. it makes me sad for them.
Thank you for turning something so negative into bright positive energy! And I’m laughing bec I’m like who they calling slow? I never call myself slow- just not esp fast. We work harder bec we are out there longer! You are great at inspiring us!!
That was so beautifully written and I’m glad you did write it. It makes me sad to know people are so discouraging to others. We as women (and men) tend to bring ourselves down enough ourselves but to have other people who are in to fitness bring us down is beyond sad. Everyone starts as a beginner, no one was born to do these thing (run, lift, yoga, ect.) and practice makes perfect. Or not. Ive been running over 2 years and on a good day I can hit a 9 minute mile. Most days it’s more like a 12 minute mile and you want to know what; I AM PERFECTLY FINE WITH THAT! At least I’m running and doing what God intended my body to do!! Thank you for this post. Keep your head up! Don’t let anyone who is too blind to see the good in you stop you from being the best you possible! 🙂
Perfect words of encouragement! I’ve been struggling with this lately. I’m also a slow runner and have been feeling a little embarrassed about my snail’s pace. I have to keep reminding myself that I’m still lapping everyone on the couch 🙂 and all that matters is that I’m out there trying in the first place.
This is beautifully said! The most important thing is to do stuff we like and to give our best; what matters is not to be better than the others but to be better than ourselves! Even if I started running (and working out regularly) only a little while ago, I know I can get better even if i’ll never be the best runner ever. Thanks for the reminder!
What a great post! And it could not be more true–what matters is that you find something you love and do your best By the way, I did SSU workout 2 this morning, and holy cow it was tough! Especially those leg raises on the stability ball, I could not keep my balance. Thank you for these workouts, and for all of your inspirational posts!
How right you are Gina when yo say “The fear of not being “good” at something can stand in our way if we let it.” I’ve let fear stand in my way too often and I now try not to let fear limit my life. You just end up regretting it in the long run. So no more “if only’s”
This was a much needed article. I have this problem with perfectionism and I think I have to be “good” at everything I do. IT isn’t the case.Also just wanted to tell you, your hair looks awesome in the photo with Liv?
THANK YOU Gina! What a wonderful post! You are an inspiration 🙂
Very inspiring and uplifting post, Gina. Thanks for sharing! xoxo
Yes!! We all start somewhere. Thank you for this.
Wonderful post!
I think that the positive attitude that you speak of is SO important when starting a new exercise. For instance, I could not even run 5km last winter, but somehow got it in my head that I was going to run a half marathon. It was hard at times going through the training, but I was persistent and made it over the finish line in one piece this May! My time was probably embarrassingly slow for a ‘good’ runner (2:22) but it is now something for me to improve upon.
For all other exercise newbies out there, keep up the good work! It takes courage to start, but you will improve with practice 🙂
Well said! My best 10km time is 68 minutes! I don’t care about speed, I am not a natural runner and every time I make it to 12km I am just so proud, even if it does take me 90 minutes. I have only run 2 races, both 10kms and even though I was very slow, I still passed people here and there, that was amazing to me. I am terrible at Zumba, my hips don’t understand the movements but I still stand up the front and have fun. I think the older you get the less you care about what anyone else thinks. Step is my favourite class and I think I am actually pretty good at that!
So well said, Gina!!!
I say a version of this to my boys any time they say they aren’t good at something!
And for the record – any one who runs is a runner – speed, distance, # of races, none of that matters!!!
I finally tried Zumba for the first time last week and even though I looked like a complete dork, I had fun, laughed, worked up a good sweat and plan to go back tomorrow!!!
Love love love this!!! I just tried zumba for the first time and a lot of it was just standing there shakin my booty to the beat but I enjoyed myself and that’s what counts 🙂 I’ve lost nearly 90 pounds in the past year trying to get my body back after back to back pregnancies and if I cared what everyone thought of my non-coordination at first, or how little I could do, I would probably not be where I am today. I have to ignore those that try to be nasty because somewhere inside of them they’re jealous of what I’m not scared to do. I’ve been reading your blog for years and I love how kind and inspiring you are <3 thank you for tellin it like it is!
Thank you for posting this! Based on the comments posted so far (as I knew would happen), I’m sure you’ll get lots of support on this idea. Nobody needs that negativity.
I went running on Saturday for the first time in ten months! (I had a baby and kind of stopped exercising.) Of course my time was awful, and I had to stop a few times. But if I had the attitude of “Oh, I’ll never be good at this, I should just quit,” what good would that do? I know I’m preaching to the choir here, but if there’s an exercise that someone enjoys (or even if you think you could learn to enjoy it), just do it! At least I’m getting out there and not sitting on my couch complaining about being overweight or feeling sorry for myself.
Very good points. And also, if we were good at everything, what would be the incentive to keep working at it. Part of my drive to continue training for marathons is that I see improvement with every training plan. I figure out how to train, fuel and recover better than before. I enjoy the challenge of getting better at something, even if I’ll never be great at it! After all, if you don’t try, how will you know what you’re capable of?
Well said!!!!!
This post made my heart so so happy! I had similar thoughts this weekend when I was running a 10K. I somehow got it in my head that I was such a slow runner and that my pace wasn’t acceptable. Then the course went by the apartment I lived in when I first started running and I remembered back to how insanely happy I was the day I could finally run 20 minutes without stopping. That put it into perspective. We get so caught up in competitiveness that we sometimes forget that we do these things for fun and to help us live a happier, healthier life.
I think this is so important, especially in the internet world. Everyone starts somewhere with everything they do, and it is 100% okay not to be great at all of them! Great post!
I love everything about this post! That is exactly my motto!! Who cares how fast or how perfect you are at anything??? All that matters is that you are trying and that are you enjoying yourself! Life is too short!!
This makes me feel soooo much better!! I am a super slow runner. But one year ago on 12 Junr I quit smoking and embarked on an exercise program. I couldn’t run for 30 seconds and now I’m four weeks off my first half marathon. Anyone can do it. You just have to give it a go!
This really resonated with me! I found myself tearing up haha. Its so awesome that you can turn a negative comment in to such an encouraging post. thanks!!!
Amen to this post! In fitness everything is relative. I call myself slow, because I know what I want to be running, but others think I am speedy!
And I will say I stay away from yoga because of that not being “good” at it part. I am constantly tight, you can actually feel it in my calves…and while I know yoga would be great for this avid runner, I dislike the thought of being the “worst” at it. I need to get over the fear and just go!
We all start somewhere and are all lapping others on the couch 🙂
I really liked reading this. I often time become discouraged reading a bunch of blogs that work out way better than me, or lift way heavier, or run faster. But, I am not bad at any of it! I enjoy it all, and that is what matters to me. The comparison trap is easy to fall into. I have to say, though, that what hurt me the most was that you are such an inspiration to so many, and give us all so many ideas for fitness, yet someone tried telling you you should stop because you weren’t fast? First of all, I bet you are fast, and second, does it matter? You are out there doing it, and I think that speaks volumes.
Great post! I completely agree with everything you said. A lot could be said about the true motives behind that comment, but your spin on the situation was mature and insightful. I am a mediocre runner, but I don’t run for anyone but me. I will never win a race, and that’s cool. I love yoga, too. Again, I am mediocre, but that won’t stop me from practicing and trying to get better. If we only did the things we are REALLY good at doing, the world would be pretty boring!
Wonderful post, Gina, I love this honesty.
“Those who matter don’t mind, and those who mind don’t matter.”
What an important reminder to treasure the abilities of movement we have in our lives and our bodies, no matter what the score card says. Thank you.
I really hope whoever made that comment reads this post. Thank you for responding to it and letting the rest of us help confirm that you don’t have to be “good” at something to have fun and be active.
Such an amazing post and great reminder, Gina! All of what you said is so true yet something we – or at least I – tend to forget. How many activities would we try if we only dared starting those we knew we’d be good at? At least for myself I can say: hardly any. I’d probably never have picked up running if my dad hadn’t encouraged me over and over again. He slowed down his speed to get me into it and accompanied me on countless runs. These days I’m still not fast – though faster than my dad 🙂 – yet I simply enjoy it. Just like you said: we shouldn’t let the fear stand in our way.
Thanks for posting this. Out of all the possible ways you could have chosen to respond to that comment, you picked the one that somehow managed to turn it into a positive message that clearly resonates with your readers. It’s not about the negative words; it’s about the reaction to them.
Well said! I think that, sometimes, doing the things we’re not necessarily ‘shining stars’ at is especially fun because if we can remove expectations of greatness – self-imposed or otherwise – there’s no pressure. Only fun. And growth and learning and all that good stuff 🙂
This is such a great post. It’s yet another reason not to judge people – it might not look like much of an accomplishment to most people, but you never know where someone starts from.
Love, love, love this post. It is so curious to me why people have to be such haters on blogs, rather than being supportive of other women being healthy and getting everything out of the short lives that we have on this earth.
Such a great post!
I recently fell in love with Zumba because I can be a total goober and not care.
I grew up a bit of a perfectinist and I think that it held me back a lot…for some reason turning 30 really changed that for me… And has made me so much happier.
You know, that is just infuriating. I read that person’s comments, and they are just so catty and snotty and rude. Why does that person even read the blog when obviously they are not a fan? It’s so rude and just ridiculous that they posted that and frankly creepy that they’re looking your scores up on that website, and it really sucks! And since when does a PR have to happen within the last year?! Um, a PR is a RECORD…..all-time best. Not last year best.
Anyway, you are NOT slow, but even if your PR was 4 hours, no one has the right to bash you for it. Clearly they are the one with the serious problem to come on a blog and be so catty. Good for you for remaining a class-act!
I agree with you 110%! People need to live their lives, do what they want to, and achieve the goals they want. End of story! I’m never going to be a fast runner, but getting across the finish line is a goal, which makes me very happy at the end of the day!
I haven’t commented in such a long time, but I’m still a follower! Love your blog!! Work and being a mommy to a one year old is exhausting. However, I had to comment on this one. You really hit the nail on the head. Great post!!
I really needed to hear this today. I feel like I’m not improving enough in my riding and it was getting me down, but I know if I work at it and continue to ride because I love it (and my horse), then it will come eventually and I’ll enjoy myself along the way.
Thanks Gina! I’m sorry someone felt the need to try to discourage you from doing something you love. Some people just need to learn when to keep their mouths shut!
I am a horrible runner. I used to force myself, but then I realized there is no reason for that when there are so many other ways to be active! The lunge series from workout 2 was killer! I’m good at lunges. 🙂
Beautiful post! As an exercise newbie who uses other people’s accomplishments as motivation a lot, it’s SO easy for me to fall in the trap of comparison and perfectionism. There have been so many times where it’s so hard for me to imagine that any of this (running, lifting, yoga, eating better, you name it!) gets any easier and it can be really hard for me to try again the next day…often times I fall off the wagon because of that thinking!!! Thank you for this great post!
After your First 5k post the other day I have been toying with the idea of a 5k with the jogging stroller myself…and was hoping I could come close to your 30 minute time! I can only imagine how slow the unfortunate commenter would believe me to be. Keep on keepin’ on and good on you for writing this post as a reminder to us all to try something new and have fun with it. Thanks for always being so encouraging!
You are inspiring! Do what you want … I am horribly slow at running- but it doesn’t matter- moving is what’s important….I so enjoy you putting yourself out there for us, I appreciate it and it keeps me motivated!!
I love The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin… Where she says, “don’t let the perfect be the enemy of the good.” I use this as my little fail safe. Do it good… And love it. Don’t worry about being perfect, amirite?!
Thank you. This is exactly what I needed to hear right now (isn’t it weird how that happens sometimes? like a twist of fate, it’s just the post I needed to read today). I rarely comment, but I’ve been reading your blog for years. You provide so much inspiration and motivation, and I’m so grateful for the time and energy you spend helping others- including me! 🙂
I’m so happy I read your post today. I’ve been feeling discouraged lately because I’m not a super speedy runner & i’m not sure if I’ll ever be. I get discouraged reading all the running blogs and how fast they are and how long they run & I want to give up. But I won’t & I’ll continue my journey at my pace. Thank you for your words of wisdom.
This really was a beautiful post .. Thank you Gina!