4/28: Thoughts from the week
-First I thought that my husband holding a baby was dreamy, but wearing an Ergo just takes it to another level.
-Babies in sunglasses = just about the cutest thing ever
(They’re still a little too big, but it was fun to try them on and snap a photo)
-We got a new printer. This is the “test paper” that Tom printed out and then taped on the nursery door.
Needless to say, that rule has been broken 😉
-The people who say you “get used to the sleep deprivation” are lying. I never got used to it, and was exhausted all the time. Now that we’ve been sleeping through the night for a while, I feel so much more energized during the day. Many times, we’ll do our first feeding of the day in bed and go back to sleep snuggling. It’s the sweetest thing ever <3
-My doctor suggested rubbing coconut oil on my belly at night to help it firm back up and I go to bed every night smelling like a macaroon.
-Things have been going really well over here. In the beginning, we were in survival mode, and I can’t believe how quickly the little baby that we love and have been taking care of is showing a very distinct and amazing personality. Things that have made it better and easier: smiles (and now, giggles!), getting Olivia on a schedule so it’s easier to get out of the house and do things (we’ll leave after she eats and then she has 2 hours to happily enjoy wherever we are, then fall asleep in her carseat on the drive back home), watching her grow, learn and develop, and when I stopped being so hard on myself about the breastfeeding thing.
Taking on a different role and trying to balance everything has been a juggling act over here, and when I was first starting to figure this out and was really emotional and overwhelmed, I had to have a “come to Jesus” that things are entirely different now. Of course you expect it and are ready for it, but it’s different when it becomes reality. There’s also the whole issue of comparison and judgment, which can make things even harder than they already are. I’m not just talking about myself here, because I’ve been so fortunate to have the support of my family, friends and all of you during such a crazy time, but moms/women in general.
I listened to a Jillian Michaels podcast while I was driving today, and it was about how moms are “damned if they do and damned if they don’t.” One of my friends told me that becoming a mom is like being punched in the face, and in some ways, it’s very true.
Here are some of the things Jillian talked about:
-The contradictions. To paraphrase: “Wow, talk about eating for two! You’ve gained way too much weight and “You still look really small. Maybe you should eat more and not exercise so much”
and some that I’ve heard/seen: “You’re going back to work? You’re selfish” and “Oh, you’re staying home with the baby? Must be nice….”
-Opinions about everything. “Oh, you’re giving the baby formula…” “Did you have a natural childbirth?” “Are you breastfeeding?”
The main point of her podcast was that moms and women should support each other, especially when they’re going through a challenging time. I couldn’t agree more. Different things work for different families, and I don’t really think there’s a “right or wrong” if you’re leading with love and the best interests of your family at heart. I also think it’s funny how people compare misery stories, like if one person is struggling, their situation doesn’t matter because someone else had a harder time in their life.
Kind of like the wisdom teeth thing.. don’t ever tell a 2 wisdom teeth story.
-Now that I’m at this point in my life, I wonder what I used to do all day. I thought I was so busy, and while I kept myself entertained, something was missing. Now, it’s hard for me to imagine my life without Livi. She continues to surprise us everyday, and fills our home with more love than I thought was possible.
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I love Brian Regan!!! I saw him live a few years ago, he is hilarious! And I agree, baby wearing men make me swoon 🙂
Gah, so cute! (again.. in fact that is my response to all your family posts with Livi pics in).
I was talking with my sister last night about how things just change forever (or at least, for a really, really long time) when kids happen. She told me that she’s stopped putting projects (usually things that other people have asked her to do) on the backburner for ‘when things get a bit less crazy’ because, with two littlies, she’s in crazytown for a while yet. She finds it whole lot more relaxing just to say ‘no’. If she can’t find time to do it now, then there is no point leaving it hanging there for some mythical time when the kids will amuse themselves for a whole three days. ;-/ It’s an essential skill of motherhood to be a bit selfish. Otherwise you end up in Walmart in your dressing gown and don’t even care.
hahah! so true.
and i totally agree- it’s easier to just say no than stress about when you’d ever be able to get it done
I freaking LOVE Brian Regan, what a riot! Have you ever seen him live?
I agree with the comparison thing. Even though I’m not a mom, I truly believe that “comparison is the thief of joy.” “Be happy with what and who you are; this is your life after-all, no one else’s.” Both of those are easier said than done, but we can strive a little each day, can’t we? 🙂
I for one thing you’re an amazing mother and an inspiration to women all over. Someday, long from now, I’ll re-read all these posts of yours and be able to relate with the ins and outs of entering mommy-hood. For now, I”ll just be hanging on your every last word. I’m always anxious to read your next post, whether it be about Liv, fitness, or foodgasms (I thought I was the only weirdo who used that word, you proved me wrong). Ever use joygasm? Yeah, that’s a regular word in my vocab haha. I think we’d be great friends!
Happy weekend!
i haven’t, but i love when he’s on comedy central!
thank you so much for the sweet comment- i’m sure we’d be great friends 🙂
xoxo
Those baby sunglasses are seriously the CUTEST thing every!!!!! She is soooo adorable 🙂
Whoops sorry for the typo! I meant * CUTEST things ever
Babies in sunglasses are adorable, esp. Livi!!
Maybe I should try putting coconut oil on my tummy to firm it up. Do you think it will work? 😉
you have a nice tummy, crazy girl!
my doc went on to say something about how the fat in the coconut oil helps the skin reduce fat by blah blah blah and wah wah (all i heard was “put coconut oil on your belly”) haha
will you do a follow up and let us know if it really works? think it will work 20 months later? ha! you totally crack me up with “all i heard was ‘put coconut oil on your belly'” lol!
I feel ya! I already use coconut oil as a moisturizer on my hands and face, why not use it all over. 🙂
Hi Gina, thought you should read these:
http://whattheflicka.com/daily-meds/mother-guilt-part-1-why-do-i-feel-so-guilty-all-the-time/
http://whattheflicka.com/survival-of-the-mommy-est/drowning-in-motherhood-what-would-a-good-mother-do/
They are written by Felicity Huffman. 🙂
love her and loved reading those. thank you for sending them along!
My fiancé and I are just starting to negotiate the terms of our future family–i.e. who gets to go for a bike rides once a baby is here:-) Are there some “issues” or topics like this that you’d recommend partners talking about before beginning to try for a family?
That’s a great topic I’d like to read more about.
that’s a really great topic for a post! mind if i write about it next week?
Awesome post idea! My husband and I are planning to start trying around August, so anything you think is good “prep” would be awesome. Thanks Gina!!
Ha! I so should not have watched that video! I just got my (two) wisdom teeth out like 36 hours ago. His tale was painful. :p
Aaaaaah wisdom teeth. So painful…got all four out with 32 shots of Novocaine…. and no I was not put under. Not fun at all!
That sunglasses picture is presh!!!
So well said! I especially am with you on the “come to Jesus” moment. My daughter is 5 months old and it’s amazing how difficult (and wonderful) it is to be a mom and how much it completely changes your life.
i love this! and that is so awesome that she is sleeping through the night! mine didn’t until right at a year and for a little over a week now (at 20 months) we’ve had some regression. it’s so hard but i keep telling myself “it’s just a stage”…separation anxiety and teething. you always seem to bring such great perspective to things. thanks for that! 🙂
What is the podcast you were listening, can you share the name please?I would love to hear it even if I don’t have a baby, I am just a little surprised because I know the J.M. doesn’t have any babies (or maybe I missed the news) and once she said that she doesn’t want to give birth because this will change her body!
i have a 5 month old and my stomach is just as flat as it was pre-preg…my skin even looks normal and not stretched out at all. i think my saving grace was that i used jergens skin firming lotion during and right after pregnancy…works awesome!
i might pick some of that iup. mine is as flat, but the skin looks much softer
I <3 BRIAN REGAN!!!!
🙂 There is def a flip side to the "Mom Questions" story too- I think we're even too hard on other moms/people for asking us about what we're doing- Going to work, bfing, etc. We can be really on edge about how things are phrased and when they are said. I think more often than not it's rather innocent, and grace needs to be given on both sides.
i totally agree- especially when you’re already trying to do the best you can, it makes you more sensitive. however, i don’t think there’s a way to misinterpret when someone says something that’s totally rude or judging your situation. like the lady in the grocery store who asked me if i was breastfeeding and then when i said yes, said all of these horrible things about formula. i’m thinking “well, she’s drinks formula, too…”
Can you share your breast feeding/ formula decision story? This is something I am struggling with 🙁
here ya go, lovely http://fitnessista.com/2012/03/warm-up-to-the-main-event/
Loved this post, G! I learned to just stop caring what others think. You’re damned if you do, damned if you don’t. Everyone’s going to have different thoughts, opinions, judgments, etc. I learned so much in the year of being a mom–and think back to my preconceived notions before having the baby and laugh. You don’t know until you are a mom what it’s really like…and everyone’s experience is a little different so even then you can’t judge! Now, all my (non-mommy) friends, and even my MIL (who never breast fed) all keep asking me when I plan to stop in this “tone” like I should be stopping BFing now. Or is it “weird” that she has teeth now, etc. I am more matter of fact about it, and I will stop when we’re both ready. Which isn’t at this very moment. Point being…you will always come across people who judge or have certain expectations/ disagree-but it’s not about them. I should listen to Jillian’s podcasts…
Hope you’re well! So happy to hear Livi is sleeping through! She’s getting cuter and cuter! I loved putting sunglasses on Ella. Once they hit 7 or 8 months on they don’t let you put any of that stuff on them 😉
Hi Gina,
I am also dealing with a low supply, and have been worrying as my baby grows (she is 8 weeks) that she’ll need more food that I can’t provide. I’ve been researching formula for that inevitable moment, and am wondering how you’ve handled this? Do you mix expressed milk with the formula or give them separately? I’ve been researching non-dairy, non-soy alternatives and had a naturopath suggest mixing raw goat milk with expressed milk, which I need to find more about before I consider that route. I recall you nixing dairy for your own health and for breast feeding, so I’m curious if Livi is on whey formula or something else? I don’t recall you writing a post about this, so I’m curious, if you feel comfortable, if you could?
hey girl,
liv is on a hypoallergenic formula. i don’t mix them, but if i know she’s going to need both, i give her formula first and then b milk.
http://fitnessista.com/2012/03/warm-up-to-the-main-event/
sending lots of love to you and your little girl!
xo
Isn’t it so amazing how it is so hard to remember what life was like before our little ones arrived. Sure I go through moments where I miss the ease of just going about my day, but then when I walk into a room and see that smiling bouncing little girl who starts panting like a dog she is so excited to see me, it makes all that selfish desire go out the window.
I had the same moment with my husband when he used to carry our daughter in the Ergo, it was just so adorable seeing him willing to carry her in it! He’d have her in the Ergo and our dog on a leash and I would just melt 🙂 We actually use it quite a bit still for hikes and our daughter is over 2 years old…she likes to ride on our back and soon that will be convenient for carrying her and pushing our second in a stroller! Glad things are going well…it does get easier and even more fun as they get older 🙂
Yes, yes, triple yes! We saw Brian Regan a few months ago and he was hilarious. But I totally agree with you about women supporting women and moms supporting moms. Whenever moms sheepishly admit to decisions they make, I always say not to be ashamed. None of us are perfect and we all just do the best we can!
Hope you enjoyed your date night! <3
Awww, I love the sunglasses! So adorable. And that test page from your new printer is absolutely hilarious – amazing!
Livi is so cute in the sunglasses!
I’m so happy for you! This was such a sweet post, and I’m so glad your life is so full. Also the pilot wearing the ergo is adorable!
“Now that I’m at this point in my life, I wonder what I used to do all day. ” <– isn't that the truth! You never know how much time you had until…you don't have it anymore. Sort of like my mother always says, Youth is wasted on the young. You don't appreciate it youth…until you're not quite so youthful anymore 🙂
Congrats on all the milestones and for being a fabulous mom and having a husband who babywears. Nothing better!
I love when my hubby wears our son in the Ergo, especially when I’ll look over and he’s doing something super cute like kissing his head and talking to him. He actually brought up getting a carrier because he said, “I can’t wait to carry our son around when we go on adventures.” I die, so sweet.
I am intrigued by this coconut oil thing … did you buy some at the grocery store or elsewhere?
Thanks for sharing your motherhood adventures. My baby is only 5 weeks so I love having this as a resource so I have a sense of what is to come (for both of us!).
It’s true- there can be so much pressure on moms. And sideways comments from people at any point in our lives can make such an impact. Often the person doesn’t even realise that they’re questioning something that we’re sensitive about, and making a lasting impression.
We can all see that you’re a fantastic and loving mom! And well done for letting go of the stress about breast feeding. Like you said, everyone’s different and everyone does what works out best for them. Hurrah!
Baby with sunglasses are absolutely adorable!!! My mom told me that dry skin brushing before the shower is very helpful for toning your tummy back up. Something I will be getting into the habit of doing.
ohhh good to know! i have a dry brush, just need to use it
Such cute photos! I still remember meeting my husband in the recovery room post C-section and he looked like such a natural holding our beautiful baby burrito. I do think moms are dammed if they do and dammed if they don’t and I think women in particular throughout life stages are either eachother’s best supports or biggest critics. Some women bond in healthy ways and others bond through gossip and criticizing others. I have been lucky to find great friends among the moms at my child’s preschool, but “mommy and me” class a.k.a the mommy olympics or mompetition, was not my thing. One good thing about motherhood is that I prioritized more and I try to do so with less guilt. If I enjoy spending time with someone I find a way to make it happen. If I don’t, I’m too busy..always. Life is too short to let toxic turkeys get you down.
We are going to see Brian Regan tonight !!! 🙂 So funny you posted that!
Made me laugh the “being punched in the face” comment. Becoming a Mum for the first time was a massive shock to me – I couldn’t believe the competitiveness of coffee groups (not all, but mine was definitely like that) and the endless comparisons… don’t get me started. It took me a while, but I realised that I have to be happy with the decisions myself and the hubby make, as we made them with the best intentions and obviously want to do the best we can by our little family. What someone else thinks of that is their problem!!
HA that video is hilarious!! I find it even funnier when thinking about being out to dinner with a bunch of pilots…they’re all Me-Monsters!
Well it sounds like things are getting better for you, I’m glad. Now just keep in mind that things are always changing. As soon as you get the hang of one challenge and think you’re set, something else will change and you’ll have to adjust to that. But those smiles and giggles always make you forget about the stressful times. You’re doing great!