The Birth Team
I think it goes without saying that by far the scariest part of pregnancy is the birth itself. When you’ve never experienced it and always hear horror stories from other people, it’s easy to let the fear overcome you. When we first decided we wanted to start trying last spring, the Pilot was deployed a lot, and I was home by myself with the puppers. I decided to read as many books as possible about the birth process, because one of the things that helps me feel better and less afraid of the unknown is educating myself.
I was seriously horrified of the process and would spend nights laying in bed, scared out of my mind and had nightmares about the birth itself. I think it was a red flag that even though it was something I really wanted, at the time, I wasn’t mentally ready.
I read twelve books (almost all of which I’ll be writing about on this page), and when Tom deployed to Afghanistan, they went into the bottom of a large reusable shopping bag and I didn’t look at them again for the entire deployment.
Since we got the positive test, heard the heartbeat and finally are starting to let reality kick in that this is really happening, I’ve brought the books back out as refreshers, bought some new ones including a couple for the Tom, and put together a birth team.
Fantastic books about childbirth itself:
(the top two are Tom’s)
I’ve known from the beginning that I’ve wanted to have a birth with minimal medical intervention, so have read books that correspond with that ideal, as well as medical intervention stuff in case I’m in a situation where it needs to happen. I’m going through the birth process with an open mind, a great idea of what I’d like to happen, and knowledge on possible scenarios if plan B arises.
I can’t recommend these books enough:
–Pregnancy, Childbirth and the Newborn: a very thorough guide to EVERYTHING. I like the layout much better than “What to Expect..” and anything you could want to know is in this book.
–Your Best Birth: This book is about taking back the birth experience, since many women who have a hospital birth end up with unnecessary C-sections due to the doctor’s convenience and the fact that pregnant women are treated like they’re sick. Pregnancy is a natural life process that our bodies have been capable of handling since the beginning of civilization. While this book does have a focus on home births, it provides a variety of birth options, what you need to know about the various types of medications offered, and gives empowerment to make the best decision for you. I’ve also seen the documentary from the authors of this book (The Business of Being Born), which is incredibly informational (and can be viewed for free online).
–Ina May’s Natural Guide to Childbirth: This book is my absolute favorite. It’s beautiful and so well written. It’s by Ina May Gaskin, who is one of the top midwives in the US- she learned her birthing techniques from the Mayans in Guatemala and emphasizes the low risk of morbidity and medical intervention in natural births. This book includes birth stories from women who have had natural birth experiences (which always make me bawl) and the second half of the book is purely informational. I’m excited to read this one again now that the time is here.
Books for the husband:
The Birth Partner– Tom is going to be a key part of the birth process (from my neck back, haha. But seriously), and I wanted him to read this book for ideas on what to do and what he may need to know about the birth process. It gives the husband ideas of ways to support their wife during labor and is also recommended for doulas to read as well.
The Dude’s Guide to Pregnancy- I bought this book because I knew he’d actually read it (and he did, in 1 day)- it’s crass, straight-forward, borderline offensive and he loved it. I read some parts and were cracking up because 1. they’re actually true and 2. it was totally written in dude language.
Midwife:
Our midwife is actually going to be performing the entire birth in case medical intervention is necessary, in which case there will be an OB on hand. I will be in a birthing room at the hospital –Tom was 100% against the birth center since it’s a few minutes from the hospital, which is a long time in an emergency situation- and my midwife has the exact same ideals as I do. She’s confident that I’ll do “quite well” with the entire process and while she doesn’t baby me in the least (I find that if medical professionals baby me, I turn into a baby and cry a lot), but will be encouraging and is so knowledgeable that it’s very comforting to know she’ll be there.
Doula:
You’ll never believe this but our doula is actually Viesa’s new mom 🙂 Our families have been friends for years and she’s a nurse who will beginning midwifery school in the fall. I told her that I wished she could be our doula and she told me that she was already a certified doula who has done a few births already. Done and done- she’ll be perfect for physical and emotion support. The fact that she’ll be there with me and also knows exactly what I want (and will fight for it), makes me even more excited for the whole birth process. I’m confident that she’ll get along great with our midwife, too 🙂
It’s funny because I was so scared of this a year ago, I feel totally ready (and even excited) for it right now. I’m looking forward to see what my body is capable of and the reward that we’ll get at the end will be beyond worth a few hours of being uncomfortable or in pain. I’m an athlete and can get through anything over the span of hours.
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Baby catcher is amazing, too! I can’t wait to read Ina May’s book.
OH my goshhh what a small world! That will be so nice to have a birth “family” with viesa’s new mama 🙂 I am so sosososo excited for you, eeeeep you’re having a baby!!!
thank you 🙂 we’re so excited
The birthing process scares me too, but I think when you’re in the moment it all falls to the wayside. Adrenaline will kick in and before you know it a little creature YOU created will be in your arms!
So exciting. The book suggestions are great too!! We are going to start trying soon, and I wanted to get the hubby a book about what to expect!
Have you seen the movie “the business of being born?” It’s on Netflix watch instantly. It’s a great documentary that really shows what women are capable of naturally 🙂
I’m sooooooo excited you’re having a midwife! My mom is one (a CNM) and they are amazing and I believe essential to the birthing process – I’m sure you know that in almost all other countries (including Europe) they use midwives and not doctors during pregnancy (and in most countries home births or birthing centers are the norm because a hospital is considered a place for sick people not pregnant women – but I understand your choice as it’s a very personal one). If you haven’t seen it yet, you should see the movie “The Business of Being Born”. It will make you fall in love with the birthing process and even more committed to your choice of having a midwife. Trust me. It’s a beautiful movie to help wipe any birthing horror stories out of your mind!! 🙂 Yay!
I second Business of Being Born, it’s great.
And I wanted to add on the Europe thing – it was actually quite outrageous when Princess Di had William in a hospital – it just wasn’t (isn’t?) done there, lol.
Well, I live in England, it’s pretty standard to have your child in a hospital here. I obviously can’t speak for the rest of Europe, but in England barely anyone has at-home or birth centre births.
I don’t know why you feel it was outrageous when Princess Diana had William in a hospital, it would have been quite normal!
I just wanted to add to this- the midwifery system in Europe and Canada is totally different than the system here. They do not allow the CPM qualification and have secure transport systems in place (if birthing at home/free standing birth center). The midwives in Europe/Canada are comparable to CNMs here, NOT CPMs. The CPM credential should not be allowed, and thankfully not all states recognize it. (You do not require a high school diploma to be a CPM and can take almost 100% of your “schooling” online, which is obviously grossly inadequate and dangerous).
So basically, the midwives there are more educated than (some- excluding CNMs) of the midwives here. The risk of neonatal death at home with a CPM is 4x greater than the risk of death in the hospital with a CNM (which have the best rates). The neonatal death rate at home with a CNM is 3x greater than delivering in a hospital with a CNM.
Kind of off topic, I just get twitchy when people compare the US system to others when there is really no fair comparison available as of right now. I wish CNMs were more widely used (in the hospital), but sadly, that isn’t the case. Hopefully, eventually it will be.
And the midwife from The Business of Being Born isn’t licensed and has killed/permanently damaged many, many babies. I know that documentary is touted as being amazing, but it is full of misinformation. As a college educated person, I’m sure you can differentiate between what is a good, unbiased source compared to a source with an agenda that can’t back up any of it’s statements.
/soapbox
Oh also, do you read dooce.com? She has a beautiful account of her natural birth story http://www.dooce.com/2009/07/13/labor-story-part-one
Hahaha, The Dude’s Guide sound hilarious. I’ll have to get that for my guy years and years from now when any of this will actually happen to me,
I’m so marking this post for future reference – I hope to have as natural of a birth as possible when the time comes and will need all the knowledge I can get – our hospital here is majorly pro-drugs/medical intervention. One whole class of their 6 part birthing classes is all about the drug options available. And there are no midwives within 45 minutes of here, boo. My bff had a baby a while ago so I got the 411 on everything.
And a dude book like that is so cool, defnintely will have to order that for the hubs.
Are you thinking about music at all during birth? I have a friend who created a playlist of calming favorite songs to play in the room during labor. It apparently can help keep you calm.
I’m glad you’ve decided to go with as much of a natural birth as your both comfortable with :o) If it’s any consolation/encouragement to you, my cousin’s wife had her two boys (one at a birth center, one at home, both water births) and they both went really well and they are the healthiest, happiest and cutesy babies I know!!
The “dude” book looks so funny and so sweet that he read it in one day : )
What great book recommendations!!! I guess at 30 I am still scared too 😉 I think everyone has the “right” time and you and your hunny are in your time!! Shine baby!!!
xxoo
Corey also really loved a book called The Expectant Father by Armin Brott, Tom may want to check that out too!
I strongly recommend prenatal yoga classes – not only to prep you for birth, but to get great mental support as you prepare for labor. Of course, labor is hard, but I promise you that once it’s over you’re like hey – that wasn’t so bad! Promise! Lots of people say that but it really is true. I had to have a few interventions with Lucy (epidural due to HORRIBLE back labor, vacuum suction because she wouldn’t come out) – but I still had a great birth experience.
good to know- i’ll check it out on amazon 🙂
It will be the most incredible thing you will ever go through. You will find your true strength. Being a woman will never feel more empowering. And as far as birth goes: own it, stand up for what you want, be firm, and you will be fine. And just remember birthing plans are awesome, but sometimes things don’t go as planned and you need to leave room for changes.
I missed the announcement! Congrats to you and the Pilot!!! So happy for you! Good luck and wishing you and baby the best health.
That’s great that you will have a doula. It was just my husband, the doula, and me for a lot of the labor, and she was key in helping us through some of the toughest contractions. I was in a Birth center that was just on a different level of the hospital, and I did have to move down to labor and delivery as I wasn’t progressing. Though I did have a c-section in the end, I feel like I went through all the options before, so it was medically necessary (but I’ll definitely be researching VBACs when that time comes again). So happy for you guys!
Great books! I loved PCN, too. If you want to read birth stories (and get a little laugh) read some of Ina May’s Spiritual Midwifery. And remember, in the end, you get a beautiful baby, it doesn’t matter how he or she gets here 🙂
I think it’s great that you are educating yourself. Just don’t get too set on your plan because you never know what can happen. I also don’t want to burst your bubble but you said a few hours of pain….yikes it will be most likely many hours of pain i was in labor over 24 hours. I highly suggest you start watching tlc i believe and the stories about birth (baby story) there are so many different senarious and they cover all over them from completely natural to c-section. I had a c-section which i deffinately did not want but, i had no choice. Good luck to you!
I second the Ina May book. It was wonderful! And you will totally rock the natural birth! Great job being so educated. I had a natural birth in a birth center (located in a hospital) and I am so happy I did. The tub was wonderful and the midwives and nurses were so helpful and supportive. Women are capable of so much and I think so many get scared by what people say and how the media portrays birth they never even consider a natural birth. Better for mom and for baby! Have you looked into a Bradley birth class? My hubby and I really liked ours.
I’m excited to read Ina May’s book and will be ordering it today. 🙂 I’ll be having baby girl in September and I’m hoping for a birth with minimal interventions as possible. I also highly recommend Dooce’s post and the documentary The Business of Being Born. I’m excited to keep reading your posts and experiences.
My sister had her first baby a year and a half ago (btw, my niece is certifiably THE MOST adorable kid on the planet, hehe!) and she had planned a home birth with a midwife that is VERY experienced. Something happened early on — like as soon as her water broke that indicated to the midwife that she needed some minor medical intervention (myconium ?? basically she needed to put my sister on antibiotics). Anyway, once you get to the hospital, you can’t really leave of course! My sister was a little bummed, but it ended up working out really well because the midwife was there as her doula/birth team, so all of her needs and wants were met. I’m far from having a baby myself, but I definitely that is the way to go! I wouldn’t feel safe doing at an at-home birth, but it’s nice to have it be as natural as possible and have your own advocate that really knows you…since the way a lot of health care is set up these days, you may not even have your own doctor there with you for the birth. Good luck! You’re going to have such a beautiful baby!
I absolutely love how you are going about doing things – reading as much as you can is definitely the way to go before forming your own opinions/plans/etc. This is exactly what I plan on doing as well when that day comes (in like at least 8 years haha)… all of your family posts are kind of making me want it to happen sooner though!
So happy for you! I love your approach to your pregnancy and giving birth, and I totally plan to go the same route if I am ever pregnant 🙂
Good thing I have a Nook — I can add all of these books and read them without Jason knowing — that means no added pressure on him that this needs to happen soon. We’re not even trying yet but I’d like to know as much as possible.
I have had three children and all I can say about the birth process is don’t believe a word you “hear!” So many stories, so many different experiences and even with three children each birth process was different, and scary, and amazing! I have delivered children in two different states and one country. Civilian hospitals and military hospitals. It’s all so different and the pain is only a small price to pay and quickly forgotten about once you see your bundle of joy. 🙂
You will be so happy that you decided to do things YOUR way, no matter what that might be. I love Ina May’s book, too. Giving birth naturally twice was the most empowering thing I have EVER done in my life! It is really life changing!
Have you thought about water birth? That’s what I did, it was awesome!
Is the PILOT a good catcher? My husband caught both of our babies, and loved it! (Most of the other men couldn’t even handle the water birth videos at birth prep-class…they were all turning green)
Hi Gina! Great post!
I’m a nurse anesthetist and I have to agree with your hubby 110% on his feelings towards birthing centers. Most of the time, births are straight forward and smooth but there is always the possibility that you have to move on to plan b or c. Your “birth plan” won’t change because you are having the baby at a hospital rather than a birthing center. You won’t be pushed to have a medications, an epidural or a c-section but they are available should they be desired and/or necessary.
Also, don’t be disappointed in yourself if things don’t go as you think they should or will. You are going to experience something that you have never experienced before. You don’t know what labor/contractions feel like until you actually feel them…no matter how many books you read or how many people you talk to.
BTW…..I love hearing about your whole pregnancy experience. My husband and I are planning to start trying for our first next year!
This is VERY good advice. I was determined to have a natural childbirth, but my daughter was face up instead of face down, which means the hard side of her head was pushing on my back (you may have heard of “back labor”) – OUCH! After several hours & no progress dilating (in order to dilate quicker, it’s important to try to relax & breathe as much as possible, which is harder to do the more pain you’re in), I was begging for an epidural. (Afterwards I seem to recall telling the anesthesiologist that he was the “most wonderful man EVER!”) 🙂 I actually ended up going to sleep for a couple hours! & when I woke up, I was dilated & it was time to push, & I just popped her right out! The morale of this story is to go w/ the flow; don’t be too disappointed if things don’t go exactly as you plan, & don’t be too invested in your plan. It’s really hard to know what to expect. Other than that back labor part, everything else wasn’t as bad as I expected at all. You will do absolutely fine! Best of luck!
I think it’s great that you have a plan, but are accepting that it might have to change. I also love the line about being an athlete- you’ve got the mindset down and that is the most important part.
Congratulations! I hope you have a wonderful birth experience. I have had three unmedicated births (one in a hospital, two at home) and personally believe that the key to a poistive experience is being educated, relaxed and determined. I would HIGHLY recommend the Bradley method childbirth classes. We did both Bradley and hospital classes and there was no comparison IMO. Enjoy the process – your precious baby will be here before you know it!
Please let your husband know how much I, as well as many others, greatly appreciate his service to our country. We are so lucky to have courageous men, such as him, willing to serve on behalf of all of us. Also, best of luck through the whole birthing process- you will do great! Though I am not a mother myself and the thought of birth makes me squirm, just remind yourself that women have gone through this since the dawn of time and they didn’t have pain killers! (or doctors!) So if they could do it- it will be a breeze for you!!
Have a glorious Sunday!
xo
Just wanted to say Ina May is wonderful…I read her book 8 years ago when pregnant with my first son. It was what gave me great conviction in our decision to go natural for our birth. Also, look into Bradley classes….I found them very empowering and helpful not only in planning the birth but also in forming realistic expectations for both the moms and the partners (and also gives actual tools for both to use during labor). And I know people mean well, but please don’t let anyone scare you or try to discourage you from your decision, or to tell you that you won’t have an easy, uncomplicated birth. If there’s one thing I have learned from having 2 babies with no medical intervention (one at home!), it’s that people LOVE to tell you their birth stories and share their opinions…solicited or not! 🙂 You are a healthy, fit woman who takes care of her body so there is no reason why you wont’ have a quick labor with no issues. My labors were very fast and while of course I experienced pain….the really *HARD* labor was actually short lived. Remember that your beliefs and thoughts about the process has MUCH to do with the outcome! Congrats and good luck…it sounds like you are on a wonderful path!
You are so ready! You are doing all the right things, IMO. Just curious, have you looked into hypnobirthing
? It was a wonderful tool for me.
i’m not sure i’d be able to hypnotize myself haha. i’ll definitely look into it though! i’d like to learn as much as i can about as much as possible
I did a “mini” kind of hypno-birthing and I loved it. I used the cd (borrowed from a friend) and practiced deep meditation before hand then used it at the hospital during labor and the difference between a contraction WITH meditation and WITHOUT meditation is. so. huge. It helped me get through 12 hours of labor (almost) no sweat!
You are so on the right track- YAY!
me too Alyssa. The nurse helping me during labor told me she couldn’t even tell I was in labor, and that was after 16-18 hours of active labor. That’s why I recommended it. 🙂
The reason I ask is because it’s really just a form of guided meditation. And since you’re a yogi, I thought it could really work for you. 🙂
i’ll def look into it 🙂
Hey there!
I’ve followed your blog for about two years from a fitness aspect but def. feel the most connection with this! We’re also expecting our first (next month!) and I want to go as natural as possible. It feels like an uphill battle but I’m sooooo excited for it. Our doula let us borrow the Penny Simkin video “Comfort Measures” and it was really helpful (of course I’m more excited about all of it than my husband is, but he’s a trooper and follows along!). I also REALLY enjoyed: The Thinking Woman’s Guide to a Better Birth by Henci Goer and The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding- both recommended by EACH doula I interviewed! So they must be pretty good.
I’ll be excitedly following to see how your experience goes! I pray each day that we can have a medicine/intervention free delivery… We lived in Africa for a while and EVERYONE does it there so I have to keep that in mind when people look at me like I’m crazy!!
Good luck!
Georgia
Gina: I have also have “Comfort Measures”. Me, you, Tom, Viesa, and some popcorn. 🙂
sounds like a date 🙂
Don’t be too scared of the birth…i promise you forget about it the second it’s over 😉 I was completely unprepared because I thought I had almost 13 weeks to go before I had to go through birth, but they came early, I went through labor for a few hours and a c-section last thursday and while I know I wasn’t happy during the process, honestly, looking back on it, it was nothing. So, even with absolutely no education, we hadn’t even started childbirth classes yet, you can get through it and after I could feel my legs again after the c-section, I was completely fine and bugging the nurses constantly to let me go to the NICU to see my little ones. (I had to wait like 4 hours…tortureee!!)
Ina May rocks. Of all the books you listed, she’s the only one I’ve read, b/c when I was getting ready for Skylar’s birth, I had soooo many recommendations and that one kept coming up and I’m so glad it did.
Honestly girl, you are so well-read on the subjuet already. Now, all you need to do is relax. You know intellectually what your body is going to do, now you just can relax into it and let it happen and let your body do this marvelous work when the big day arrives. Your midwife, your doula, Tom, will all be there supporting you, but it becomes about you and baby. The beautiful dance and event that will unfold.
I cannot wait for your birth. Truth be told, I LOVED birth. I had no drugs, all natural, I loved it. I don’t want any more children but I would actually love to birth another one. It was *that* beautiful for me. NOT scary, or bad or horrible or any of the things that pop culture tends to focus on. I hope your birth experience is awesome…And I know it will be 🙂
One suggestion, read more books on nursing and be more prepared for nursing than you are for the birth. The birth happens once.
Nursing happens about 12-15x times a day for 6 months
And then another 3 to 12x a day for the next few years
In my case it did at least 🙂 So just make sure you are well-read on it and have taken classes.
That’s the lactation educator in me coming out 🙂
OMG I can’t believe you read all of those books – you must have been so freaked out! Some of those books out there are NOT kind and induce fear. My favorite pregnancy book was Your Pregnancy Week By Week. Every new “week” I would read the passage that pertained to where I was in my pregnancy — I really looked forward to it.
The ONLY advice I can give on labor and delivery is have an open mind (and it seems like you do) and just go with it. To me, the hardest part of delivery was AFTER (and not regarding the baby, but you). That’s the part that nobody tells you about. Make sure you ask the ladies in your new group to fill you in because as much as you need to look out for that sweet newborn you have to look out for yourself too!
I just had a baby 10 days ago, and I took Bradley method classes and they were wonderful. You get so much information and lots of videos to ease your mind. I ended up having a 9 lb 9 oz, 23 inches long baby with no epidural. I did have some pain medication because my water broke but no contractions. I had to have pitocin and that makes the contractions a whole lot worse. The Bradley method says that if you are in good shape, which you are :). You should have no problem. And I have a very low tolerance for pain and I didn’t exercise that much during pregnancy. Just have a good support system.
Hi ! I had to reply I’m usally a lurker on all blogs but I wanted to tell you I have a 6 year old beautiful daughter and a 4 and half year old musician son and I remember going into having my first I was scared to death we were at the hospital and we had to stop 4-5 times on the way to the maternity ward for me to cry b/c I was so scared to give birth and it was nothing like I expected sure it hurt like he$$ but the end result of my babies in my arms wiped all tge pain away ! Can’t wait to hear your updates makes me want a third but hubby says no we are done!LOL
You’ll do great. I don’t know if you’ve ruled out the possibility of an epidural, but I just like to tell people not to feel like it’s less womanly to not feel ALL the pain. There’s no shame in taking advantage of advances in modern medicine and the epidural can be an amazing way to keep you comfortable and alert (as opposed to narcotics or extreme pain). Yes, it can make labor last longer but if that happens they just turn it off and you finish without it. By then you’re so tired you don’t care, if you’re like me. But my labor pains made me want to flee the room and the epidural was a godsend for me. I know women who’ve paid for them out of their own pockets. I’m all for natural, I attended my sister’s home water birth, but I also am an epidural fan.
I had an epidural with my first two daughters. I didn’t feel like I had the best experience with the drugs so I did my research, and my husbad and I decided to have a natural birth with our 3rd. Like you, it was in a hospital (but we did stay home for almost the entire labor and just went in the end), I had a doula (I do not recommend going natural without one, and I read Ina May’s book front to back several times. If you could only read one book, that would be the one.
The experience was awesome. It was A LOT of work, but it was so amazing to see my body take over. I would be happy to share my experience with you, anytime.
Congrats on the pregnancy! I am really happy for you.
You will do marvelously! I love natural birth books, Ina May’s book was one of my faves as well! You should read her breastfeeding book also, it is really helpful! Have you read ‘Active Birth’ or ‘Gentle Birth Choices?’ They were fantastic! I am so glad you have those resources available to you, my first birth was ina hospital and not the experience we wanted…..we were able to have a home birth with our second and it was wonderful! Congrats again!
I am a bit further along (due in September), but early on in my pregnancy watched “The Business of Being Born” and was SO GLAD that I did. I honestly was that woman that just assumed that I would definitely get an epidural, until I was more informed about the whole process and all the unnecessary interventions that seem to unfortunately take place in a lot of birthing scenarios. Luckily we are working with midwives and I have been so glad at how great they have been about talking me through everything, and while I am still nervous, I really think I can do it and it is so great having a supportive husband who is backing me.
What I have found most annoying and I am sure you will too, is everyone around me seems to want to give me their 2 cents or keep telling me “oh you just wait” I have come to hate that phrase. Whether I have told them my plan or not, I just feel like a medicated plan is all anyone can press on me, including my in-laws. As I said, luckily my husband keeps talking things through with me and of course I am not ruling anything out and will do whatever is best for our baby, but I truly do want to try and go as naturally as possible and I commend you for putting out there how you feel too!
That is amazing that he read the one book in one day; what an awesome guy! I’m glad everything is all set…that must make you feel at ease having that all figured out! I think I’m at the scared stage, only because my husband and I have SO many life decisions to make still (for me: go back to school, get a career – and we’d love to buy a house soon!)
I wanted a kid by the time I was 25…I turned 25 last month…so technically I still have some time if it did happen haha
Wow, you are so thorough with the books you have read! I’m impressed! As someone who is also expecting (October 24!), I am happy to read your reviews on these books and will admit I’ve stayed away from birth books for the fact that they are terrifying. After reading your reviews though, I’m going to check out the Ina May book. Best of luck growing a baby! Looking forward to hearing all about it on the blog. : )
Also, have to share that Belly Laughs by Jenny McCarthy is HILARIOUS and def. worth reading! You can read the whole book in under 2 hours too which is always good!
i’ve read it- pretty funny stuff 🙂
Go YOU for a birth with little medicine! You’re one strong woman!
I hated when people told me there horror stories while I was pregnant. I don’t understand what makes people think “hey, now would be a great time to tell you the most awful childbirth story i know!” I finally told people, if it’s a horror story, I’m not interested! haha
I was so terrified of childbirth when I was pregnant with my first son, but I’ll tell you, when you get to that last month or so, you are so ready to get the baby out and get your body back, that you don’t even care what it takes. And if it’s any consolation, I had a smooth and easy delivery with both of my kids. I went the way of the epideral tho and it was glorious 🙂
My story sounds like a horror story, but it wasn’t bad at all. You hear about people being in labor for 12 hours. The thing is between contractions you get relief. Plus I was so excited to meet my baby and I knew any discomfort was temporary. I was really happy and joking around with my husband. I did go with the epidural after a few hours and with that I felt nothing. My husband had to tell me when I had contractions. I won’t go into the story of why we eventually went to C section, but once again it was nothing like the horror stories. It’s amazing when you hear the baby cry for the first time. Recovering from the C section,I had some discomfort, but no pain. I took one pain killer the first day and that was it. I didn’t fill the script I was given. I had been into exercise for many years and I was told that being fit helped my recovery ( and I wasn’t nearly as athletic as you are).Hope this eases your fears!
First, congrats on the new addition! I just had a baby girl 4 weeks ago and will agree with your book recommendations. My other recs are 1) Birthing from Within — has such great insight but can be a little “hippy” (think painting while in labor…wtf) this book covers the emotional aspects of birth for parents. It created such a great dialogue between my husband and I. 2) the Pregtastic Podcast — terrible name but I LOVED it. It’s a few pregnant women who shares ups/downs each week plus special guests (think Dr. Sears, childbirth educators, baby shower planners, etc). I loved the positivity as most baby books can be scary and plant unlikely scenarios.
I read a TON during my pregnancy and I think it was all for nothing. Well sort of. I started getting freaked out about medical intervention and switched practices and hospitals at 32 weeks. I am so glad I did – it totally calmed me down and provided the best birth scenario for my husband and I. We did have a doula but I felt it wouldn’t be enough with the medical machine so switching relaxed us quite a bit.
Also, people LOVE to tell pregnant women horror labor stories (why??). I cut people off in the beginning and told them if it was bad to keep it to themselves. Anyway, just to encourage you — this was my first baby, I’m 28, I stayed active (i.e. walking lots since anything jiggly felt terrible after 14 weeks), I did have an easy pregnancy (meaning no symptoms, bad aches/pains) and my labor from start to finish was 7 hrs which includes 2 hours of active labor (bad contractions but very manageable– although, looking back, labor books were ridiculous to me at the time since almost nothing helped), and 1 hr of pushing — all natural. I did not tear and felt great post delivery. It probably helped that I went 10 days early and had a 6lb 8oz baby but still — not the 42 week pregnancy ending in an emergency c-section that I thought it could be. Anyway, first time labor can be easy and it wasn’t as scary as I thought it would be! Now having a baby….it is as hard as I thought but not in the ways I thought it would be! We sleep great at night, she barely cries/is fussy but we truly take hours to accomplish small tasks since she’s so hands-on. Not what I expected but I wouldn’t trade it for anything.
Sorry for the novel — just wanted to offer some words of encouragement while it’s fresh. I’m looking forward to your pregnancy updates!
thank you so much for sharing your story w me! it’s nice to hear positive ones 🙂