The girl who wouldn’t “moo”
The day I changed my major from Musical Threate to Finance, something changed with my personality. Anything that I wasn’t forced to practice and perform (singing, public speaking) on a regular basis… died. I was still dancing and teaching at the studio, so that wasn’t a problem, but class presentations became something I dreaded instead of embraced, and don’t even ask me to sing. Of even worse, sing “Happy Birthday” to me. I’ll turn bright red. I feel like emphasizing the analytical side of my personality throughout college made me more of an introvert, which made me wonder how the labor process will go… especially when I was too shy to “moo” during labor practice last night.
I can’t believe our Bradley classes are almost over. We have 4 weeks left –it’s a 12-week course- and one of the girls in class had her baby last week (!). Last night, we went through different stages of labor, utilizing various props and scenarios. The labor stations were extremely helpful, since we had to hold an ice cube during each “contraction” and have our coach lead us through breathing and meditation. Some of the stations included pretending to be driving in the car to the hospital (and Tom was pulled over for speeding… in real life, I’d probably swear my face off at the poor cop), bouncing on a birthing ball, squatting (stage 2- pushing), walking (stage 1), etc. One of the stations including us sitting rear-facing on the toilet (we watched a video of a woman laboring this way and Tom was like “Um, she’s doing it wrong”), head on a pillow and making a “moo” sound, like a cow.
This sound technique is pretty common during labor, as many midwives will instruct the mom to “moo the baby out.” When I first read about this in Ina May’s book, it made me snicker a little bit. Mooing? During labor? Um, no thanks. It’s something that our Bradley teacher has talked about (and demonstrated.. quite well, I might add) during classes, but didn’t seem like something I’d want to do unless it was the real thing and I needed it. So at our practice station, I wouldn’t make the moo sound.
The lights were off, the instructor came in and did the loudest, most awesome moo with Tom (the post is sounding weirder and weirder. Haha),who was seriously such a good sport during the whole practice, and the best I could do? A little cow sigh. And my face was magenta.
Another thing: I’m not sure how I feel about flashing the goods during labor, and am already scheming the most comfortable, least exposed, labor-able thing I can wear during the process. From what I hear, you lose all sense of modesty right before transition, so who knows?
I might even moo, loudly and proudly, like I’m supposed to.
Major props to my husband, not only for mooing, but also because I can already tell he’s going to be an amazing coach. During each fake contraction, he talked me through meditations, took deep breaths with me, pressed on my back for counter pressure, played with my hair, and offered me water in between each one. We’re two very lucky girls to have him.
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I can totally relate to you. I was a theatre arts and film major and now the thought of talking in front of people drives me crazy!
At our birthing hospital the doctors are on a rotation so if I give birth on a Tuesday I’ll have my doctor I’ve been seeing for the past 30 weeks. If I have my baby any other day besides Thursday, I’ll have a male doctor in which I don’t feel comfortable with. I’m hoping all modesty does go out the door becuase I’m not looking forward to going into labor on anyother day except Tuesday.
I love that they had you guys practice mooing! So awesome!
Ive never ever had a male doc … Until I have birth. I am super modest but I can honestly say I didn’t care who was there … As long as someone caught the baby. Haha. He was absolutely fabulous though … So much do that I was happy to have him for my 6-week postpartum visit.
Agreed…you will absolutely not care at all!!!
I’m extremely modest (and would never moo in a class setting) and I was fine during labor. By the time I left the hospital, even the dudes who brought the meal trays had seen my boobs and it oddly didn’t bother me. It might have bothered them though, haha.
This is the best post ever. Very weird but really funny. Not sure you will moo but your sense of modesty will most likely fly out the window without you even noticing. I had the best labor/delivery, such a happy memory. My husband was a great coach and sounds like Tom is the same so you’re all set.
I’m a total analytical introvert and finance major and from my experience I’d say you will not care at all about modesty come that day. If you’re like me, you will do what you feel like doing and if it’s moo-ing, you’ll do it, if not you won’t.
I took Lamaze and I don’t think I used any of it past the first hour. But my pain management included an epidural so who knows without it. I think your body will take over. It’s a weird thing. Your brain reverts to its more animal layers (more toward the brain stem) in some situations like labor. Think fight or flight responses. The limbic (I think), higher mind is your analytical side, up in your forehead.
I can say without a doubt I would not have done the mooing sound either… oy.
I promise you a thousand times over… you lose ALL modesty when it comes to giving birth. So many other things become more important, you just forget or don’t care. When my daughter was born, she had meconium in her water so I had to deliver her in the surgical delivery room. Between NICU doctors, OB’s, nurses, etc. there were probably 25 people in there looking at my (unkept :-)) business. I could have cared less. Given all of that, there is still no way in heck I would have made a mooing sound!!!!!!!!!
I’m really curious about the mooing technique! I’ve never heard of it before, what are the benefits of it? I feel like I have so much to learn in the baby department. Thankfully I have a lot of years ahead of me to learn before I’ll need to put it into practice! ;p
i think it helps you relax down there by using a lower tone with your voice. shrieking or higher-pitched noises can make your body tense up
In my prenatal yoga class the instructor has us practice a high screeching sound and pay attention to how our pelvic floor tightens and closes up. Then we practice a low deep ommmmmm and pay attention to how the pelvic floor opens and relaxes. It really amazing how the sounds we make affect are whole body.
I am so similar. I hate my birthday for the reason I don’t want to be the center of attention, I don’t sing or speak at all in public unless I have to. And I was so sure I’d be so covered and NO ONE besides hubby and dr could be in the room in labour. Really, a parade could go through the room, you won’t care, you will be like “oh look someone to hold another leg for me!” LOL. You just stop caring. And on the “moo” note, it was always suggested to me to be quiet, that making noise exerts energy and all energy should be used for pushing. Seemed to work, I had quick, natural, labours with both 🙂
Goodluck! And your hubby sounds awesome!
Modesty goes out the window at about the time you enter the hospital. I was so happy when my plug came out / water broke that I loudly (and proudly) proclaimed these things to my nurse as if I’d won some kinda contest.
When you’re in intense pain, you just want things to progress and get it over with (and get your prize! – a beautiful newborn). I pooped all over and really didn’t care. I wouldn’t worry about that. 😀
Now.. mooing/screaming/etc… I wasn’t on board with. I didn’t let out any sounds during labor really. I’d be too embarrassed. A woman in a labor room next to me on the other hand was screaming “owowowowow” so loudly my entire labor team felt sorry for her. In the end that made me happy that I did have my epidural… though, if you can avoid it, more props to you. I would’ve loved to. A month later I still have occasional epidural back pain, and the catheter required with an epidural made peeing a pain for a while. Oh well. I blame the pitocin.
Anyway, it’s all over so quickly and really wasn’t worth all the worrying. 😀
I’m shy, I dont think I could have moo’d either :). The modesty thing does kind of go out the window, when I had my twins I was in the hospital part of the day, sent home because they said I was dehydrated only to have my water break and go back in an ambulance. When I got there I was so tired the nurse undressed me herself then they did a quick ultrasound to see which way baby A was facing, lifted my gown exposing all my goods and didn’t shut the door. At this point I was beyond caring and just wanted my babies out.
We did the ice cube thing in my birth doula class, and I was really surprised at how much it hurts! I don’t know how close it is to labor, but I felt too shy to moo also, even in a room full of mooing people. I felt comfortable humming though, and that worked for me, so I guess you just need to find your sound and go with whatever feels natural. I’ve heard about women who curse their way through, and women who sing, so I don’t think there’s any one best way. 🙂
Would “om-ing” like in a yoga class help? I just can’t imagine mooing like a cow, but I could probably chant “om”.
that’s what tom was telling me to do, too.. i was just embarrassed
From what I gather, any low-pitched chant-able sound works.
I have the exact same thoughts about baring it all during labor- I’m hoping to come up with something comfortable and if the “I don’t care” part comes, then great, at least I was comfy up until that point. 😉
Haha I’ve been thinking about what I’ll look and sound like in labor, too! I’m planning to tape my homebirth and I ordered a new sports bra just for the occasion. If the video looks horrible I’ll just keep it to myself 🙂 You know what, though, I’m never judging when I see other birth videos – the women always look so natural, strong, and beautiful to me!
me too! i’ve never seen one that i thought was weird or gross… they’re all amazing
I’ve not had a baby, but last year I did have my share of female issues and ended up having two different surgeries. I was very modest before the first surgery. By the 2nd surgery I could have cared less. I just wanted my issues to be over with. I assume labor would be very similar.
I’m sure you’ll do fine.
I was a musical theatre major once too. And strangely the same thing happened to me! My parents think it’s so weird that I went from being the girl who would never stop singing to suddenly never wanting to sing again. It’s kind of nice and odd to hear someone with the same experience. Anyway, this post totally makes me think of Idina Menzel singing “over the moon” from “Rent”. “The only thing to do is jump over the moon”…”Moo with me!” Haha – you can do it, girl!
omg, i totally forgot about that song! i’m cracking up.
That’s what I thought of too! “Moo with me!” 🙂
hahaha, third!
There was a girl who performed that song at our high school talent show one year. Props to her for encouraging the audience to “moo with her”.
I am the same way. Opera to accounting, and now… I don’t kareoke, I don’t join in happy birthday with the coworkers (even though lord knows those guys aren’t singers), NOTHING. Weird. I hadn’t thought about it before now.
If you go natural, you will be in the zone, it totally won’t even matter if you moo, are naked, or rolling around on the floor.
As a singer, mooing or using those singing muscles really helped me so you might be surprised 🙂
Haha, Moo-ing. I hate forced group situations where they tell you to all do something loud and silly like that! Once I took this class called laughter yoga, which I though would be cool, but it was terrible! The whole thing was forced and we had to make fake laugh sounds and do these forced silly songs. AWFUL. Hey, if Moo-ing in the moment go for it! But in a forced pretend group situation I don’t see why they would push it!
Trust me, when you’re in labor, you won’t care what you’re wearing (or not wearing!). I am very modest, but mid-labor I was walking around completely naked and couldn’t have cared less. The good news is, no one else seems to care either- they’ve seen it all before 🙂
“the loudest, most awesome moo”
LOL
“the loudest, most awesome moo”
LOL
I’m the most modest person I know and yeah, when I got to the hospital I was like “Oh, you need to see my junk, sure go right ahead!” Ha. It helped that my whole team of midwife and nurses were all female.
I am the most modest, shy person when it comes to exposing my body (I almost never wear shorts or a bathing suit) and when I was in the final stages of labor, there somehow ended up being 8 people in the room, only two of who I’d ever met before that day (my husband and my doctor!). There was even a poor nursing student who somehow got stuck holding my right leg through the pushing. And I didn’t care! It all goes out the window.
love this post!!
one of my best friends is almost 2 weeks past her due date and is hoping to bring her son in to the world with out being induced (scheduled this Friday!)- I just offered to take her to Zumba to dance the baby out of her! 🙂 She’s tried EVERYTHING else. EVERYTHING.
p.s. did you see the ‘Sister Wives’ episode where she gave birth at home?? (it might have been the most recent one) She was def moo-ing and did AMAZING. Really inspriring for all natural births!
replying to my own comment!
my friend had her baby! she was planning on doing all natural, went to classes for hypnotheropy(?), and had a birthing plan ready—
water broke last night, so off to the hospital they went. Dr. (not her usual, the one that was there) scared her in to an epidural (which actually turned out to be a blessing, but not at all what she wanted) and ended up having an emergency C section (def. not what she ever thought would happen) because cord was rapped around the neck! Both mom + baby are doing great but neither have seen each other since baby was born 🙁 Mom has to wait till all the meds wear off and she is no longer ‘toxic’? and baby is being monitored. Dad is going back between the 2.
Scary sitiuation but all is well and I get to see my new baby in T-3 hours!!!!!!!!! 🙂
i’m glad that mom and baby are safe! <3
I don’t think I moo-ed, per se, but there was definitely a lot of low-pitched moaning. Moaning + visualization really helped.
Modesty…well, I’m not modest to begin with. So it was no problem. Both of my best friends are super, super modest. One kept her bra on till the very, very end when she, during transition and in a pool, chucked it off. The other just became completely immodest. I mean, there are so many people there–doula, husband, nurses, techs, ob, midwife, midwife assistant, midwife in training (depending on where you give birth)–and you’re doing so many primal things that…clothes? Eh? Once the baby starts crowning they’re going to be there, right in your business…It just can’t be helped!
Though. The more I think about it, from a distance, the more odd it is!
the Mooing made me giggle when I read it. I bet once your in labor you won’t care about a thing. Just your precious girl coming into the world. At least that’s what I’m told:)
Ahahahh omg MOOING. Please do it. Props to Tom for doing it.
Excuse me if this is a dumb question, but why do lots of people labor naked? I was hoping that when the time comes, I’d at least have a gown on… through sweat or whatever.
Lol! I didn’t labor naked;) My hubby REALLY had no interest in seeing what was going on down there and he was still able to hold a leg and stay by my head. No trauma to hubby:) Some guys are way into the birthing process, want to cut the cord, catch the baby, etc. Mine was super supportive of me, but didn’t want to see too much. Just because a dad doesn’t catch the baby or cut the cord doesn’t mean they can’t be amazing fathers. I couldn’t have asked for a more involved hubby. Best baby daddy in the entire world!
Well, I wasn’t completely nude, but close to it–I was so, so hot. I couldn’t stand it. And clothes just felt like…I don’t know Like a rubber suit, just the worst form of torture!
I’m slightly freaked out by this mooing idea and I’m not even the pregnant one.. I don’t know, I think I’d be so embarrassed! But… I mean, the baby’s gotta come out eventually, right?
I never once mooed in a childbirth class or in my natural labor. I think you just will find your own little place, and do what works for you at that moment. You can’t possibly even script what’s going to happen and how things will all pan out…so I don’t think it’s a big deal that you’re less than lovin’ the mooing stuff.
I am LOLing as I type this thinking about a room full of mooing pregnant ladies 🙂
I have to agree with many here, I am very modest and shy and it will definately not matter in the moment. Once the pain gets intense, it just doesn’t seem to matter. The labor and delivery nurses were so amazing, and helpful. I mean, you have to remember how many births and people’s “business” they’ve seen, it’s so natural and just what happens. Honestly, there was a moment in the beginning of recovery when I was needing to go to the restroom for the first time after the birth and there was a nurse there helping that I had never met. I remember thinking and laughing to myself how in normal circumstances it would be so odd and unthinkable having a stranger there, but I was SO THANKFUL for her help and gladly accepted without a second thought.
I have such fond and wonderful memories of my little girls’ births and I am so excited for yours and Tom journey! It will be amazing!
I even get a bit shy when the yoga class says “Ohmmmm” together. Vocalizing will help, though. Maybe you could say “ohmmaaaah” instead of “mooo” . It may be more comfortable and familiar to you. My husband was awesome at helping me get my focus back…it sounds like you and the pilot make a great team!
My baby is 8 days old now – I had her with out drugs. Mooing works. For some reason, if I made a different vowel sound, it didn’t help as much. I grabbed a towel and mooed into it to muffle the sound. For 3 hours, it was just me and the towel on the toilet, mooing through contractions. My husband sat with me the entire time and talked me through everything but that towel really helped – I could moo as loud as i wanted to. The toilet is awesome to labor on. Then, I used a birthing stool (like a toilet) to push. I pushed for 2 hours. Screaming some but just trying to hold my breath during contractions to get the full push out. Holding your breath during contractions and pushing really helps. It was 2 hours of sweat, blood, poop, and yelling but I wouldn’t want it any other way. When I felt my daughter slip out of me, it was the most amazing feeling in the world. I’ll never forget it and I feel so powerful having accomplished it. And, I did an Ironman last year. It’s nothing compared to having a baby!
Totally agree! So many people told me “you have run marathons – having a baby will be no problem!” Um no, childbirth is one million times different and more difficult. There is no real place for the comparison!
Also, Ironman = badass. That is AWESOME.
You know what, I was the same way. I was even hesitant because my MIL was going to be in the room with us. She asked if she could be part of the birth and I said yes, even though I am a very private person and very reserved. But when I was in labor I DID NOT CARE who the heck was watching me. I was in pain and needed to concentrate on me, my breathing, and how to get this baby out of me. Labor isn’t pretty, but once it’s all over with, you feel so wonderful and the pain just magically goes away! It’s amazing!! I am so excited for you!
Early labor will sound like a lot of awesome foreplay: soft moaning.
Middle labor will sound like bitchy and frustrated: possible swearing and lashing out.
Transition is full on jungle: mooing, roaring, grunting. 🙂 My cheering section would sometimes remind me to drop it an octave.
I am really sad you lost it during college 🙁
Sounds like you should def get it back before the little one arrives!
Why stop at mooing? You could “quack,” “baaa,” “neigh,” or even bark 😉
Trust me, you WILL moo. 🙂 We also did the ice cube/stations birth class, and I found it to be SO AWKWARD. It’s really hard to pretend to be in labor, but when the real thing comes, it will all make sense. I said I wouldn’t be someone who moaned or made noises, but it really does help, and I found myself just naturally doing it without planning to.
Also, modesty disappears the minute you hit the hospital and they start checking you. I’d be surprised if you made it to transition with any clothes on. 🙂
As for the “what to wear” thing goes – take a comfy sports bra! I wore one and was really glad I did. I felt much more in tune with my belly by being able to see it without being 100% in the buff until that was necessary.
im so modest…I honestly couldn’t handle my hubby seeing my junk and everything all gross let alone all the Drs and nurses… eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek.
And definitely NO mooing!
Ha! You crack me up! I am pregnant with my fourth and so far, no mooing with the previous 3. And we were all okay! I didn’t lose my sense of modesty and actually told some of the nurses to leave the delivery room the first time because there were 6 of them there and I was feeling rather uh, vulnerable! (they got huffy, but they left). I was more terrified of pooping in front of an entire group of people and especially my husband (I don’t want to see him do that, either). Seriously. My biggest fear of giving birth was (and still is) public pooping. A friend of mine taped her birth and well, you know.. yikes. on film. I could pass out thinking about it.
As far as the mooing, do what comes naturally. I’m not a crying out kind of person, and so I didn’t. If you’re the mooing type, then get you best Bessie on and moo away if you feel like it. If not, it’s okay. You’re going to be just fine.
I am dying laughing at this post. I love it. I have never even heardof mooing until just now but I definitely did it…without the “m” though…lots of oooooing. Now I at least know why I felt compelled to do that. I thought would be fairly quiet during labor too but that was not the case. You just honestly dont care what you sound like or who sees what…it’s not important at that time. Hopefully you can laugh about it later…we still do. And my hubby will make the oooooing sound sometimes when he wants to tease me. Jerk. 😉
Mooing? Haven’t heard that one!
I had back labor and when I went to push, they suggested I try on all fours. So I was ass-up and out for the whole room to see. I kind of cared, but not really, and it ended up being even more painful, so I laid on my side to push. In any case, you care… but you’re also in enough pain and so focused that you don’t care enough to actually feel embarrassed.
While I was in labor (no meds due to baby’s heart rate), I didn’t want anything or anyone touching me. All I wanted was for my husband to fan me with a clipboard at a high speed. I was drenched in sweat while everyone was telling me how cold they were. He had to hand the job over to my mom a few times so his arms wouldn’t fall off.
I went from 3cm to “time to start pushing” in under an hour and most of that time is a big blur. I know I was probably making the weirdest noises on the planet and looked like hell. Honestly, you won’t care about anything except getting your baby out at that point. It really is an “out of body” experience. You loose all control. 🙂 But its 100% worth it.
For some reason the fact that you combined musical theater and “mooooing” in one post made me picture you as Maureen from Rent. 🙂
Sorry I don’t have time to read all the comments and see if I’m just parroting what youve already heard down here but I just wanted to reassure you because i was afraid of the same thing (well, not mooing, but being too shy to have a baby in public). Before I had my son 2 years ago I was so modest let’s just say it’s a wonder I ever got pregnant, if you know what I mean. During the early parts of labor I kept my little hospital gown on and didn’t do any of the naked showering or sprawling I had seen on labor videos. It just did not occur to me.When I was having the contractions from the Pitocin (I do not recommend pitocin but you do what you think is best in that moment) I would actually do like a low hum-it almost sounded like singing. I felt like Aslan when he’s givng birth to Narnia if you’ve ever read or seen that scene. I was a little tripped out and I had never heard of mooing and I would never , even still now, do that n regular life, but it just kind of happened and my husband and my doula joined in and we were like a singing trio. I’m not saying you will or you should do the moo, I’m just saying you’ll get these ideas of what is the best thing to do, and you’ll just do them. And you won’t even care. It’s magic. Anyway, then in the final, oh, 20 minutes when they told me I was safe to push I did not care one bit. I was just ready to get that baby out and I could feel him trying to get out too. So “hello world” I said and pushed him out in about 15 minutes (come to think of it, this may be due to my modesty as well 😉 – push and then put your clothes back on maybe? I didn’t think of it but maybe my subconcious did. Because my son was a face presentation baby and because i gave birth in a teaching hospital (which I am not doing this time around) during the last pushes about 7 people rushed in the room to watch and even that didn’t bother me–it was only afterward that I was like,< "Who the h— are these people?" and wished i'd thought of that and signed a 'no spectators please' paper beorehand. i know there's so much to worry about–but you won't worry about it when te big moment comes, i can almost guarantee it 🙂
Also thanks for your blog 🙂 It helps me think of other foods like beets to eat for this little bundle i’m carrying around now. I hope you realize how much good you do 🙂
Dont worry so much about people seeing you or the sounds you make because once little miss is on her way out, trust me you will not care about anything but getting her out and then once shes here you wont see anyone but her.
I am 34 weeks along and was having the same “modesty issues” as you 🙂 That among many other reasons led me to plan to have a homebirth with a CNM for this baby which will be our first. I think you are so well prepared that you will do perfectly at the hospital even though there are some of those first time mom worries still swimming around….I think we all have them when we don’t know what to expect with our first experience with labor and delivery 🙂
Oh you’ll be making sounds all right.. Just not moooing.. but more like &*(^%$ *&#$^% over and over again…
i can see myself doing that instead of mooing, for sure