When to break up with your trainer
Morning friends!
As much fun as we had in Philly, it feels so good to be home 🙂
Miss Bell almost shook her tail off her body last night.
This morning she’s back to pouting, though. I’m hoping she gets used to the new place soon :/
It was also nice to have a kitchen to make some bfast in, even though I haven’t been to the grocery store yet.
The answer: protein muffin! 🙂
I almost always have the ingredients on hand and it was amazing per usual.
Of course, anything with an almond butter and maple syrup river running through it is usually a good way to go 😉
Changes I made: brown rice flour, oats instead of pumpkin (I usually use applesauce but didn’t have any), + blueberries and cinnamon
Lovely 😀
So today I thought it might be fun to talk about the potentially awkward side of a trainer-client relationship: the break-up.
Sometimes, it’s something that has to happen, whether it’s over training/personality differences or just the time to move onto someone new. Usually if the trainer is cool, and you have a valid reason, it shouldn’t be a big deal. Here are some good reasons to break up with your trainer:
1) Personality differences. Sometimes your personalities won’t mesh. Usually a savvy trainer will be able to adjust their training style to suit your personality (we can usually tell if you want to be pushed without any side chatter, or just want someone to talk to while you work out), but isn’t always the case. A fellow trainer at my Valdosta gym would literally scream at all of her clients and I couldn’t help thinking to myself that I’d be embarrassed to work out with her, because she’d be calling attention to me all the time, but obviously, her clients loved it. Different strokes for different folks, so you have to find a trainer whose style meshes with yours.
2) Eating recommendations. If you’re a vegan, vegetarian, quasitarian, gluten-free, whatever, you need to find a trainer who is willing to work with your preferred eating style. If you have Joe Body Builder who tries to convince you to eat 9 chicken breasts per day and you don’t want to, break up with him. You’ll find a trainer that will be accommodating to what you prefer. [However, if you’re on the vegan peanut butter and bread diet, you can expect a new, more balanced suggested approach within your eating preferences] Also, make sure your trainer encourages a healthy amount of fuel for your activity level. It’s sad, but there are a lot of unqualified jokers out there, including my first trainer who tried to get me to eat 1000 calories per day. Ridiculous. Speaking of unqualified…
3) Make sure that they have a certification. If you’re paying them, they need to be certified by a reputable association. [You can read more deets about certification *here* as well as what to look for in a personal trainer] If you find out that they learned how to train people from their older brother and aren’t certified, definitely good grounds for break up.
4) Moving on. Sometimes you’ll get to the point where you feel like there’s nothing new you can learn from your trainer, or want to try working out with someone else, and that’s ok. Trainers usually don’t take it personally and eventually come to expect that their client may be ready for the next step. My goal with all of my clients [even though I’m not training right now, just teaching group] is to flood them with as much information while we work out together, so that they can eventually go at it alone. Of course, you make friendships with your clients and want to train them forever, but ideally, it’s great to set them up to eventually train themselves and know how to set up their own workout plan in the future.
Have you ever had to break up with a trainer? Any reasons that I missed?
I’m off to ninja-kick the to-do list! First weights… and then unpacking. Bleh.
See ya later with a Fashion post!
xoxo
Gina
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I’ve never had a personal trainer, but I’m looking to become certified in the near future so I will definitely keep these in mind. I don’t want anyone breaking up with me after only our first session 🙁
Unpacking is laaaaame! Trust me, my suitcase is stilll sitting on my floor, but I guess my excuse is that I’m moving out in two days 😉
I’ve actually never had a personal trainer, but I’ve had to do the same with piano teachers, tutors, etc. because it just *wasn’t working*. Those tips really are applicable to all walks of life. Thanks for the tips g-frand!
great tips Gina! thanks so much!
Thanks, Gina! This can definitely be awkward so appreciate the tips from a trainer’s perspective.
Good luck with the unpacking 😉
Great tips! One reason I broke up with a trainer was that she wasn’t pushing me hard enough. She thought that girls should do girly things with lighter weights than men. Um NO. But thanks.
I think that unless they have specific diet training, trainers shouldn’t give food advice at all. I was taking nutrition classes in college, and some trainer lectured me about eating more sugar for more energy. Nothing about qulity carbs or anything. madness.
i have never had a personal trainer, but it is all good things to know! I have just been doing my own thing at the gym the past while, plus i’ve seen the trainers at my gym and they don’t seem that “Fit” like I would expect them to be.. so that makes me iffy about getting a trainer if i look better now than they do! lol
Aaahhh, personal trainers, finding one who meshes well with you is much like dating. Just because they are there, doesn’t mean they are qualified & just because one doesn’t fit the “imagine” of a trainer, sometimes they are beyond stellar.
My 2nd trainer I spent time with, we focused on kickboxing & weights. Such a great time: he kicked my ass, we talked smack to one another, pushed me hard, etc… Perhaps the best gift he gave me, was a kick in the booty about having a booty & embracing it. Oh, he wasn’t too hard on the eyes, either 🙂 Too bad he moved, such a great year of my life.
Recently I was seeking out a personal trainer, who had experience.knowledge with Multiple Sclerosis. Found a guy & Googled him. His personal FB page was public, so I took a look. He had many pics. mocking overweight women & those who gained a good deal of weight during pregnancy, which disgusted me. Fair to say, I never spent time with him.
Unfortunately, I had to break up with a trainer because he had some really inappropriate behaviors that were just gross/rude/wrong.
I agree that trainers should not be giving nutrition advice unless they have specific (and *quality*) education in that field. I’ve worked with several trainers and my favorite pushed me hard and was incredibly encouraging, but her diet advice sucked and was a huge turn off. Now, I won’t work with anyone if they hand me a diet plan in our introductory session.
Never had a personal trainer, really, though I guess I sort of have trained with people before. Some were hot. -_-
I broke up with a trainer once because she continuously wouldn’t push me. We would be doing something semi-hard… I would say “ugh I’m tired” (because I wasn’t feeeeeling like working out or something) and instead of her encouraging me, she would say “okay, then rest” and I would look at her and not know what to say… I think a good trainer should know when they can push you extra… I know I didn’t really need a rest & it would have made all the difference if she said something like “three more reps and then you can rest! you’re doing awesome!”
…..silly trainer.
Yeah, when I worked with a trainer, I had this thing where I liked to put in a healthy dose of complaining. 😉 But it was usually in jest, and my trainer knew that if I was complaining, I was not out of breath and/or I could handle more weight!
I’ve never had a trainer so I’ve never had to break up with one!
I am actually going through this issue right now and am having a hard time of saying goodbye. My schedule right now is very busy(getting married a month tomorrow) and trying to work out my schedule time with hers is becoming really hard. And I feel like I am not able to give her my all. The last few sessions my head has been everywhere other then where I need to focus. And I am not thinking she understands. I feel bad and guilty. And I think that is my major reason for continuing. Guilt?
Great post! One of the reasons I broke up with my trainer was he was way too pushy on me for buying all these extra things. I told him more than once that I had just moved to the area and was on a budget (and sessions weren’t cheap either!), but he still wanted me to buy a new heart rate monitor and a whole bunch of their gyms supplements, even though I could find good quality ones for cheaper elsewhere. And I felt like his goals weren’t in line with mine, I wanted to tone up and get stronger while training for a triathlon and they suggested I lose over 20 pounds. Now admittedly I could afford to lose some weight, but that seemed like way too much for me, as I haven’t weighed that amount since freshman year of high school. It just seemed a bit off to me.
Hah! I’ve definitely wanted to break up with a trainer before. I felt like I knew more than she did. Also, breaking up with your therapist is awkward o.O
Years ago I had to break up with a trainer as I injured myself during a training session and she told me to keep going and that I was just being a wimp (which I’m totally not). When I explained that I had previously been a competitive athlete for the majority of my life and knew the difference between good pain and bad pain she told me she knew more about kinesiology then I did and that I should be quiet and continue working out. My doctor was able to confirm that I was indeed injured. I actually broke up with the entire gym because they were unwilling to do anything about it.
I’ve had horrible experiences with trainers and have pretty much been too scared to try it again.
The first time I did one of those gym signup training packages I got a guy who basically talked the entire time about how much he wasn’t getting paid because of the “package deal”. I finally asked for a new trainer but I only had a few sessions left and we never really built a relationship that I wanted to continue.
The second time I got a trainer through a new gym and “package” it started off well but towards the end he started showing up late and he would stop during the middle of my training and talk to other people. I only had a couple sessions left so I just did them without asking for another trainer….I just wanted it to be over.
I finally joined a smaller gym when I moved and have just been doing my own thing. I almost signed up with the trainer at this current gym but after talking to her I just got bad vibes right off the start. She was really pushy and kind of rude. When I told her I used Sun Warrior she told me that she would be putting me on whey protein. I knew she was not going to be “open” about my nutrition preferences.
I’ve never had a trainer to break up with, but a friend of mine broke up with hers because her trainer was always showing up late or canceling their appointments at the last minute. She finally decided enough was enough!
I want to see a close-up of the nude sandals next to your suitcase!!
I’ve never had a personal trainer, but I’ve heard those horror stories– I feel like if you are going to give eating recommendations, you should have at least had a few classes in nutrition to help you to understand how to fuel the body.
UGH, I had the most uncomfortable personal trainer experience ever…. this guy, the first time we worked out together, kept talking about kegals! Um, awkward! Needless to say I did not go back to him.
I also had to break up with another trainer because I was in better shape than her (and I was fairly chunky at the time!) I guess I thought if you don’t live it then why are you teaching it? I’ve been with my current trainer almost two years. I thought about breaking up with her for crossfit but actually decided that the combo works out nicely 🙂
Well, we didn’t exactly break up but I got pregnant and I’m not planning to go back to him after the baby comes. Too many differences, regarding methods, motivation, even political point of views!
Also, I think I’d like to train with a woman.
i’m the same way- not a fan of training with dudes
Great topic Gina! I didn’t really break up with my trainer but he got promoted to another position, so isn’t training clients any more. I loved working out with him, but like you alluded to, sometimes it’s just time to move on to something new. I’m actually quite excited to be designing my own workouts again!
I had a great trainer who provided all of her credentials and letters of recomendation (and some before/after pics) to each new client. She treated each client like a job interview, so you knew what you were getting into. In addition she focused on pushing you hard but also correct form and explanations for everything. I could not afford her for very long but the knowledge I gained in less than 5 sessions was priceless, trainers should be like that, not pushing their products and complaining!
I have never hired a trainer, but my old gym had a guy that would always give out random tips and offered to spend about 30-minutes showing me some new moves to switch up my strength routine and then hounded me incessantly about buying sessions with him – which I couldn’t afford which is why he offered to give me that short freebie in the first place. It got to the point that I avoided the section of the gym he was in and took the long way to the cardio floor to avoid the desks where the trainers sat.
Uhhh wow, well-timed post. I JUST emailed my PT. Love him to death and really love working out with him, but I’m taking a 12-week break to try Jamie Eason’s new 12 week trainer on bodybuilding.com. I’m not breaking up with him. Just taking a break and seeing other people…er, programs.
I had to break up with mine because after about 2 years, we became too good of friends on no work was getting done. I was basically paying her to be my friend.
I’ve never had a regular personal trainer, so I’ve never had to break up. My gym sells training packages and I once asked my parents for a 4 session package for my birthday and as a poor college student, my trainer understood that was all I’d be doing. He set up a strength training program I could follow on my own. I still see him at they gym all the time and he always says hi and is always willing to help me if I have forgotten how to properly do one of the exercises. I guess it was like a summer fling we both knew would end, ha!
I’m having the same issue now!
My trainer has never trained for a marathon, and sees no reason to take it easy on legs that are running 50+ miles in one week. He assures me I need to work my legs just as hard to strengthen them for the marathon, but I’m struggling to figure out if it’s unsafe/harder for me to be going through the rough weight training and doing my long runs on such sore legs. GAH!
Great timing… Hm, how do you break up with a trainer who youjust met and they’re already scheduling future sessions?! 😛 I had a free personal training session to use [got one free session when I enrolled]- the trainer was good but I can’t commit to a consistent schedule or pay for a personal trainer [recent college grad/ just about to start my first job]. He already put me in the calendar for next week- how do I tell him “thanks, but no thanks!”? 😛
I had to break up with my trainer for financial reasons. We really couldn’t afford the extra expense per week. She was totally understanding and encouraged me, saying I really knew what was important and I had the skills to continue with my healthy habits. 🙂
Breaking up is definitely hard to do! I’ve never had a personal trainer, but I can imagine how awkward it is for BOTH parties!
I go to a personal training only gym, and of the 6 I have trained with, 2 of them I’ve had to ‘break up with’,
both were just personality conflicts. One girl was just very young and very disinterested in helping me and was completely negligent of my medical issues. She could have really hurt me.
The other, I just simply didn’t like. He made me uncomfortable to be there.
its definitely a bit awkward, but always in your best interest to move on when you’re uncomfortable!
I’m getting ready to walk into my kitchen right now to try one of those microwave protein muffins! They look delish! Thanks for sharing. 🙂
How about a dude trainer who was constantly hitting on you? To be fair, a little bit of encouragement and mild, mild flirtation was kind of motivating — but after a while he just started making me feel uncomfortable and I stopped wanting to show up because I couldn’t figure out any other ways to turn down his advances. Talk about unprofessional!
One practical reason for breaking up is that it’s just too expensive to continue or the person’s budget has changed. I know I’ve been in life cycles where there was no way I could afford even regular yoga classes without major sacrifice when I was younger and there would have been no way I could have afforded a trainer. Or like maybe just as a one-time splurge but nothing ongoing. Sometimes it just isn’t in the cards$$ no matter how much you WANT it to be.
One other reason…the person is inappropriate or you just get a not-so-great vibe from them. I just got done reading another blog post about a bad fitness class. Same thing with trainers. Some are just…not cool and borderline creeper. Break up with those, asap!
I love all the points you touched on…so right on!
🙂
I broke up with a trainer my sophomore year of college. He was group-training myself and two of my sorority sisters. At first it was great (at least the training…his nutritional advice was whack!). Then he started showing up late, making excuses as to why he couldnt be at our scheduled appt, and then getting mad at us because we couldn’t sync our times with his. excuse me but i’m not trying to wake up at 5 am or stay up til midnight to work out, when other times are FREE!!
And then he just got creepy. So we said buh-bye! 🙂
Great topic! I’ve only had a trainer twice. Both times it was a male around the same age as me who ended up hitting on me. A little inappropriate. Not only that, but one would push me so hard and make me try to do exercises with weights I could hardly pick up. If I can’t pick it up, how am I gonna curl it, buddy?! Awkward!
I’m kind of scared to get a personal trainer if I ever would get one….I’m not a fan of one-on-one things
I feel so badly for your little Bella! I am sure that she will adjust soon though. Maybe some frozen yogurt treats will help? I have never had a trainer, but all the reasons you listed make perfect sense. And sometimes you just need to hear from someone else that it is ok to break up with your trainer, you know?
Uuuuh, I hate unpacking – definitely the worst part of travelling.
After vacation it often happens that my luggage is still half filled, lying around for one week or longer…
but on the other hand regarding sport and cooking, its always good to be back home.
Hope you aren’t too stressed out and just have to say:
The cat pictures me in conflict situations, totally 😀 😀 😀
Mmm…that protein muffin looks sooooo good with the blueberries and the almond butter river…love it! <3 hope bella perks up soon, poor little thing. she must have been so happy to see you! i've never had a personal trainer, actually…but enjoyed reading these points anyways. Have a great day! xyx
Haven’t had to break up with my trainer yet, and I hope I don’t ever have to. I hate awkwardness!
This is so intersting to read. As a private trainer for 7 years now, I can’t believe some of the stuff I am hearing! Gina you made some really great points with what you lised above. There needs to be a realtionship, professionalism, and a care and a passion. A good trainer KNOWS what they are doing and you can be anyone and they will know how to work with the body injury, and situation and NOT AROUND IT!
One thing I know for sure, there are A LOT of Bad trainers out there. A good trainer is Passionate, has experience, practices what they preach, holds certificates and degrees, and CONTINUES to keep learning and going to seminars and workshops and does not get ceritfied online in 24 hrs. Hey it happens all the time!
I had a trainer once that I loved but he left my gym 🙁 so they “assigned me” to someone else to finish out my last 12 sessions with. He was seriously horrible – he made me feel terrible about myself, if I stopped to drink out of my water bottle he would grab it out of my hands and yell at me that I wasn’t allowed to drink water, he would always comment about how skinny he thought I was – to which I said, I am an RD and I’m a completely normal weight for my height. I have problems with my blood pressure – it’s too low – so sometimes I get really dizzy doing certain things – but if I said anything about feeling dizzy he would yell at me and tell me I was pathetic. I seriously have never had anyone who made me feel so bad about myself – so eventually I just stopped signing up for sessions with him – which was pretty awful because I had 5 sessions left that I had already paid for.
One of my friends broke up with her trainer because he told her a good workout program would allow her to drink more beers at the weekend 😉
Be happy you got out of philly when you did bc we felt the earthquake in VA this afternoon and it def shook us up here in Philly! The airport is super delayed now so I’m happy you left yesterday instead of today!
i would have cried
I’ve had greater trainers… its always been a case of its not you, its me. I’m a terrible client! I never stick to the good advice they give me.
Although the peanut butter and bread diet sounds pretty good!
Great post 🙂
Thanks Gina, these are great tips!! I actually love my trainer, she is awesome, however, we have conflicting schedules so I haven’t gotten to work with her regularly over the past new months. Bummer. I belong to LA Fitness so I am buying x number of sessions per month and they are just racking up. Probably have to start working with another trainer to use my bank of sessions.
Your protein muffin looks so good! I will be making one soon! You have the best delicious protein snacks, love it!
Never had a trainer. Hope to get one eventually! That’d be so awesome!
WHAT am I doing wrong with this protein muffin? This is the second time and it still tastes like an egg with cocoa. It’s not even remotely cakey. I know I’m screwing it up! I loooooove baked stuff that I can do before with kiddos getting off to school but can’t seem to fix it.
I recently had to break-up with a trainer that I had been working with since the beginning of 2011. I contacted the awesome trainer lady after I made my 2011 vision board . . . I was excited and pumped!!!!
Since I had previously worked with another trainer for years I was looking for someone to build me a nutrition and training plan, work with me for a bit, cut me loose, and then re-vamp everything with me every couple of months. She agreed and told me that would be just fine. What I came to realize over a period of time is that it was anything but.
This particular trainer clearly was looking for someone to work out with her at least three times a week. And although I’m a lawyer, I’m still paying back student loans and I couldn’t justify hundreds of dollars a week. To this day I feel I was neglected because I didn’t fit into the way she likes to work. I just wish she would have been honest from the beginning.
The kicker was when months into working with her she said “I really should do a meal and exercise plan for you.” I didn’t say much because frankly I was shocked. The relationship deteriorated to the point that I have actually cancelled my gym membership because I consider the thought of seeing her so decidedly unpleasant.
It was a terribly disappointing experience. 🙁