9/9: Thoughts from the week
-I thought breastfeeding could be painful at times, but that was until I recently saw one of our bird condo mamas feeding her young. Bird feeding is VIOLENT. I couldn’t help but feel bad for the mama, who had two birds intensely shoving their heads down her throat.
(frozen in the act)
-Speaking of breastfeeding, one of the things I wasn’t expecting when I finished was another round of wackadoo hormones. I went through a time period where I was intensely sad, and just felt “off” as everything tried to balance out again. I had a midwife appointment just to make sure that what I was experiencing was normal, and she assured me it was, but just a heads up to any breastfeeding mamas, even though I’m sure it doesn’t happen to everyone. It’s just another thing I wasn’t aware of, but took me by surprise.
-One of the things that I also didn’t expect was the challenge of showing my husband that I love him as much as Livi. It was even harder when we weren’t sleeping very much, but since she’s been sleeping through the night for a few months, it’s easier to spend time together at night. It’s important for Liv to see a mama and daddy who are in love with each other.
-We’ve been MyGym ditchers lately. I need to check out the class schedule and see if we’ll keep going, but lately Liv’s been sleeping through her class, and there’s no way I’m waking her up to go.
-This morning, we had brunch at my nana’s with my dad’s entire side of the family. I always look forward to brunch -not only for the legendary spread of food- but also because Liv gets a chance to play with one of her little cousins, Tucker, who’s almost two years old. It’s so crazy to think that this time last year, he was about Liv’s age. Time. Flies.
Her little personality shows more everyday, and she’s starting to tell us what she likes and dislikes, whether it’s pointing or blowing raspberries. I’ll write more about what she’s been up to in her 8 month update (is she really 8 months?!), but the excitement of seeing her little face on the monitor when I wake up… she makes me very lucky <3
-As she’s getting older, I’m not going to be writing as much about Liv as I have been. I’ll still do the monthly updates because they’re fun, along with pictures here and there, but this page is going to be more about the things we do as a family, baby recipes, adventures and art ideas. I feel like I need to respect her privacy, and thank you all for understanding <3
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You’re an inspiring mother and wife. Thank you for sharing so much of her life with us! Its been beautiful watching her grow:)
I love reading and seeing how livi is growing and turning into her own little person! I’m also excited to see more of the fun activities you plan for her and food you make her! Definitely an inspiration for someday when I have a babe 🙂
Good to know that weaning can lead to wacky hormones. I certainly had baby blues so this should be fun for my husband in about 8 months 🙂
That is so nice what you said about it being important for Liv to see Mama and Daddy in love. I have always thought that was an important thing in every family. In my family my parents are happy and in love but not all of my dads siblings are in love. I was just visiting my aunt who is on the edge of divorse with her husband of 30 years. It is fortunate that they dont have any kids but it is still sad. I hope that one day I can show my future kids that I am in love with there father whoever he may be.
Well put. My parents are still married but my husband’s are divorced and he remembers how much that hurt. We believe it’s incredibly important for us to continue to date each other because not only will it shape our child’s view on family, it’ll shape their view on what are acceptable ways to treat/be treated in a relationship.
Oh my goodness, poor birds!
I for one completely understand where you’re coming from with regards to Olivia’s privacy. (Maybe this is weird, but I feel inappropriate calling her by your nickname for her when I don’t know either of you!)
My husband and I discussed it recently and decided that when the time comes, my little one’s name and face will never hit my blog. I LOVE reading baby blogs so I certainly have nothing against mamas who do put their babies out there, I’m just very paranoid about the safety issue, and I do occasionally read a post that bothers me because I’m sure that kid will be completely humiliated by it when they’re 12 and trying to explain it away to their new middle school friends.
Totally think its great that you will keep things private. She will appreciate that in the future. I do, however, look forward to more recipes and tips! My little man is almost 6 months old and I’ve gotten so much great info from your blog (and from the comments!). Ps, just noticed the new header for the family page and I absolutely love it!
That is a gorgeous picture of Livi! Can’t believe how big she is! Didn’t know there was a crazy hormone time post weaning! Makes sense I guess. Being a woman is hard!!!
I love hearing this update on you and your family! She is so sweet!
I think it’s great you know your boundaries about what your content/writings are going to be about, more or less, and the direction you’re taking in the future. Having a gameplan of what to share and what feels right is a great plan.
As always, thanks for your candid and honest reflections here, Gina. Sharing experiences openly helps everyone!
She is the cutest little thing! Thanks so much for being so honest about motherhood, it is definitely helping me know what to expect when the time comes for it for me one day!
Great post, family really is where the heart is! 🙂
I love your little family posts that allow you to open up. I completely understand your decision to privatize Olivia’s life more, but I hope you still allow your personality to shine through in all of your posts!
Although I absolutely love the Livi posts, I can completely understand your decision. It just makes me respect you as a mother even more!
She’s getting so big!
it’s too much for me to handle
time goes so fast!
Hey sista! Just want to say that I have been enjoying reading your blog. I have also just started a blog and have been struggling with what and how much to share about my kids. They are little (1 and 3), so they dont care yet, but the information super highway scares me a little, and I wonder if they will somehow be able to pull up ancient history later on and feel violated in some way. So I appreciate your thoughtfulness.
The other thing that struck a chord with me is that you have been missing the gym lately. I went through a period of about 6 months where I didn’t make it at all to the gym because my little power sleeper was napping from 9 to 11 and then from 1 until 3 or 4. I tried to make it to 6 am classes, but ended up working out at home during nap time instead. Once we transitioned to 1 nap per day, things got so much easier, and I am back to the gym almost every day.
One of the many things about parenthood that continues to amaze me is that during a particular stage of childhood, it seems as though the stage is lasting/will last forever, and then all of a sudden it is over, and I think to myself, wow, that was fast. Repeat.
Oh, and also really appreciate your reflection on your relationship with your husband, and your child’s perception of it. I think about that all of the time, and try hard to demonstrate for my children what a healthy relationship looks like. It is so important!
Again, love, love your blog. Looking forward to more.
thank you so much for reading! <3
What in the world???? You worry about showing your husband you love him as much as your daughter?? That is extremely skewed and very unhealthy. VERY. I wonder about your readers too…..very strange. They agree with this? Your husband should not be thinking those thoughts and you should not be worrying about that. Unless your husband is extremely insecure, I have no idea.
Do you mean you want to make more time to have sex with your husband? To show him that all of your time is not put towards your daughter? That’s the only thing I can come up with…..which is very normal. However I can assure you your daughter is not aware if you are having relations with your husband. Showing her mommy and daddy love each other is pretty pointless at her age.
I’d probably reword your intentions if this is what you mean. Otherwise, it sounds like a very old fashioned household with a demure wife and chauvinistic husband. And that is not an insult, just truly what it sounds like. Which isn’t healthy.
whooaaaa there. you can make assumptions all you like, but i wonder why you’re so riled up over something that isn’t that big of a deal. i’m talking about little things, like holding hands or tickling hair, not sex (which yes, is important too). i mean the little things you think to do when there isn’t a baby in the house to show each other you love each other, but when you’re worried about another human life, they seem to skip the radar. it is important for children of all ages to see that their parents care for each other. at the end of the day when tom comes home, i’m so tired, and physically drained, that i don’t think to go up and hug my husband or cuddle like i used to. it’s something i’m trying to make more of an effort with, and thought it was worth mentioning as it’s something that many moms experience, and it’s important to me.
as far as the dynamics in our household go: we’re equals and partners. i hope I’ve been able to show that through my writing -the blog as a whole, not one paragraph, in one post- and if not, i must not being doing a very good job. i don’t think i need to reword my intentions– those who read my blog on a regular basis, and understand me and my family, don’t need me to clear up tiny things that could be misinterpreted by those only looking to nitpick.
I just have to say that I think its awesome that you responded to this rather than just deleting the comment! A lot of blogs have only 100% positive comments and you know there are people out there disagreeing, so they must be erasing the negative. Good for you to take the high road and instead clarify your writing!
Also, I do have to admit that the way you worded it did make me slightly uncomfortable. Not the same as Liz, but I took it as the Pilot was getting jealous of Livi, which didn’t seem right. So again, I’m glad you responded and clarified what you meant.
i wouldn’t be married to a man who would be jealous of the love i have for my child, but you’re right, i could have worded it better.
xoxo
You worded it as “showing him you love him as much as Livi.”. Nowhere did you mention holding hands, showing affection, etc. Totally different than proving to your husband you love him as much as your daughter. Two totally different things. And again, just unhealthy.
Hey, you wrote it, not me. If you think that is nit picking, well….not much I can do about that. I would suggest you stand behind what you write and not make excuses. You have a young baby. Regardless of how much hand holding, pecks on the cheek, sex, doing small things, etc. you show your hubby, he should know you love him if you are indeed partners. Not sure what being “equals” has to do with any of it, but if you are true partners, you don’t have to prove you love your spouse as much as your daughter.
Your words, not mine. I’m married and have had a baby. I never thought of it as a competition. I think showing your husband affection IS important, but that’s not what you wrote. Good luck to you and what works for you and your spouse. I merely pointed out something that jumped out at me, but since I didn’t agree like your other readers, I will bow out of this conversation!
I welcome all comments that disagree with me, including the rude ones you’ve left in the past. Peace out Sara, Liz, whatever you decide to comment as next time
Hmmm…..that comment didn’t sound so welcoming….so perhaps I’ll go by Jane next time! Makes no difference what my name is and whether you have my IP address. One fact: you put this info out on your blog. And you simply don’t like to be called out on it. I’m not rude, you just don’t like it when people don’t word things coated in sugar and syrup. Peace out to you as well.
Wow, just saw this! I’m pretty surprised by the hatefulness of this. My husband and I are ready to start a family and this is actually something we’ve discussed quite a bit–always making sure we make time to show each other we love each other and are important to each other.
Quite frankly, Liz, I think YOU are the unhealthy one. Examining a stranger’s marriage in such intense detail is alarming enough, but you have just completely disregarded reality in general with your assumptions.
Are you saying that couples who divorce no longer love their children either? It is VERY easy for a person to let their children become number one in their life. Married couples fail at showing each other love all the time, even ones without children, and I think what makes a marriage healthy is when someone is willing to look at their marriage or relationship and say “gee, I could probably be doing this more/better.”
Gina, I didn’t think you worded it poorly at all… and based on how many other readers were able to continue to function, without having a major meltdown, I don’t think I’m off base in saying that.
I for one find your marriage, and your parenting style, inspiring… and I hope you won’t let silly comments like these keep you from writing so well and sharing the things we all REALLY care about in life and in love!
YES! I completely understand what you mean about the challenges of showing the Pilot as much affection as you did pre-Livi. I had to learn to make that priority after Tripp was born. Its so easy to do those little things when its all about the two of you, but then all of a sudden all of your focus goes to this helpless little baby that depends on you for everything. You forget to take a shower some days nevermind make out with your husband haha.
I had no idea about a post-breastfeeding hormone dump. Oh lawd. I was a hot mess the few weeks after I delivered. This should be fun haha.
I totally understand what you mean about showing your husband how much you love him. The little glances or hand holding or the hug and the kiss when he comes home are so easy to put aside once a little one arrives. Sometimes he walks in and I want to tell him all the cute things she did or fill him in on something around the house–totally forgetting to welcome him home with a hug. I have a 7 month old and I wasn’t expecting the all-consuming effect the baby has on your brain. It does take a special effort to make sure we stay connected as husband and wife –as well as co-baby wranglers. In one of the books I read a tip for Dads was to always kiss your wife in the kitchen…that makes me smile thinking of one day our daughter will remember her dad walking up to her mom while she is working in the kitchen for a kiss. (Or vice versa)
Little cousins playing are the cutest!! Time goes by so fast!
Ugh, I totally get what you mean about your relationship with Tom. Before Avery came along, I had read a thing or two about how marriages basically get put on the back burner because all the attention is devoted to your new love. I had a lot of pride and thought “Whatever, that won’t happen to me.” But go figure…I finally realized how little attention I was showing Rodney and it was really putting a damper on things…just our happiness in general. There’s a book called “And baby makes three” that I am going to start reading soon, hoping for some tips and advice. It’s so weird how, as a mom, I would never dream of neglecting my child(ren), but it’s so common to do just that to your husband without even realizing it. Good for you for noticing it and being honest about it!