December Picnic

Still trying to get in my workouts during the day in hopes of relaxing with the Pilot at night.

When Liv woke up from her first nap this morning, I figured by the time we left the house, I’d be able to get in a 30-minute workout before the gym’s childcare closed. Back in the day, I would have thought “only 30 minutes?! Forget it” but now, that’s all I need.

I already knew what would make me sweat the most in the least amount of time:

Stairmaster

I rocked out some intervals on the StairMaster, alternating between level 9 and level 7 and listening to the Jillian Michael’s podcast,  

and then when I went to get Liv, she was playing with toys, happy as can be and ready for a snack. 

We had a little picnic outside:

Picnic

While we ate together, Liv sang “Pop! Goes the Weasel” with me -she just learned how to say the “Pop!”- with the sun gently beaming down on both of us, I felt so blissfully happy, yet at the same time, my heart felt very heavy.

Park

I’ve been trying to put a name to one of the many emotions I’ve experienced since last week’s tragedy, and today it clicked.

Guilt.

I know I shouldn’t feel this way, but as I continue to make such beautiful memories with Liv, it’s heartbreaking to think of the parents that are now no longer able to do the same: take their babies to see Santa, enjoy a random picnic. I’m enjoying every moment, as I should be, but keep all of the victims in the back of my mind as my heart aches. The sadness will be with us for a long time, and to all of the families out there who were directly affected: I am so sorry. Words wouldn’t be able to describe my condolences, but I’m thinking about you and sending love.

During naptime, I started to roast some veggies to make this glorious veggie soup again. It was such a huge hit last week -the leftovers were incredible- and we had all of the ingredients on hand. 

Veg  1 of 1 2

 

Carrot  1 of 1

Lunch:

Salad  1 of 1 3

Tonight, I’m off to get a haircut (still can’t decide if I’m going to hack it or leave it) and back home for dinner.

Hope you’re enjoying your day <3

See ya in the morning!

xoxo

Gina

Something to think: 

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Comments

  1. What a lovely day! I said the same thing in my post yesterday… I felt guilty. It’s such a sad thing and there are just no words.

  2. I felt guilty fussing at my six year old this weekend. His grandpa gave him a LARGE. RED. ICEE. This kid was nutso for 24 hours. Sugar rushes don’t last that long, but I believe the color/sugar combo does for Chase. Then, I thought of 20 sets of parents who would love to be calming their kids down this weekend instead of mourning them. Definitely gives new perspective.

  3. What’s in your salad and what kind of dressing is that? Loving the almonds and blueberry combo!

  4. MMMmmmmm That salad looks so simple but delicious!
    And I also think the stairmaster is such a good way to get your sweat on! It’s so tough!

  5. I know what you mean, every time I see a child I feel guilty too and I don’t even have my own! It’s just SO SAD, that’s really all there is to say. I’m also more paranoid now than I was before….

  6. I have read your blog for a long time (and love it!), but I’ve never commented. I thought you might appreciate this blog post, though:

    http://www.ordinarycourage.com/my-blog/2012/12/18/wishing-you-love-and-light.html

  7. I think the guilt is natural. And maybe it’s just a little reminder that we should all live life a little more mindfully, more appreciatively. But thanks for sharing your thoughts about it – it helps to know others are feeling the same way.

  8. I don’t have a child yet, but I understand how you feel when you said you’ve been struggling to put a word to your emotions. I just posted a list of Bible verses on my site, because I couldn’t even think of anything to say or anywhere to begin – I guess my word would be “helpless.” 🙁

    On a different note: I ♥ the Stair Master!! LOVE LOVE LOVE! Definitely one of my go-to workouts when I need something intense and don’t have a lot of time! 🙂

  9. Guilt is something that I’ve really been struggling with for the past few days as well. I have no idea why some people have to suffer while others are saved from that kind of pain, but the only way I can think of to deal with it is to be thankful for everything that I’m blessed with and try not to take anything for granted.

  10. I sincerely believe you are a great mom to Liv. It is hard when children are taken away to soon, but don’t let yourself feel guilty for that.

    On a side note, I vote for cutting off the hair! It will grow back if you aren’t happy!

  11. I’ve felt the same guilt, but at the same thine I’ve never been more aware of how much I have to be grateful for.

  12. I love the quote. Thank you very much!

  13. I feel guilty too. It seems unfair that I can laugh and hug my man and be ok while others hearts are broken. I think we need and should continue to strive for peace and solidarity and to spread joy and love. I am curious on you new haircut! 🙂 the salad looks so delicious!!

  14. There’s only so much we can do.

  15. I have a step son who lives with us who is like my own, so I understand how you feel! I think we are all going to be feeling like this for a while!

  16. I know what you mean about the guilt – I feel the same way! It feels wrong to be happy and enjoying the holidays with my family when so many other families just went through this awful tragedy.

  17. I can’t wait to see what you decided to do with your hair!!!

  18. Can’t wait to see what you decide for the haircut. Your picnic with Liv sounds fabulous but I know what you mean about the guilt. Although I don’t have kids yet I still feel that pang of guilt that we are all going on with our normal lives, celebrating the holidays, just living life as normal. In the end there are no words that can be said and we just have to hold the families who have lost in our hearts while we continue with our lives.

  19. First I must comment on Liv’s adorable shoes. I want full-on glitter shoes!!

    Reading this post helped me realize the word for the emotions I’ve been feeling. It’s a mix of guilt and selfishness. When the news gets too hard to bear, I can easily change the channel and run away from the thoughts. I feel so selfish for doing this and guilty that those families can’t escape the pain.

  20. It’s crazy to think about how many people that man affected. The whole nation, the world! I still just feel confused, angry, and most of all thankful! I’m thankful for God who is there through times like these, for the “good guys” who show up in time of need, for teachers that care for our kids, for the overwhelming love and support that people around the world have shown for that small community, for memories (family and friends will always have memories of those lost). I’m just thankful that through horrible events like these, humanity shows us that THERE IS STILL GOOD IN THIS WORLD.

    I’ve read other blog comments from people wondering why we’re still talking about this tradgedy, like it’s “old news.” It’s certainly not for those involved. I know those people truly affected feel all of our love and prayers!!

    On a lighter note, your salad looks delicious and I could go for a comforting pot of soup. That may be what’s for dinner tonight.

  21. I definitely understand what you mean about the guilt – I have no idea why some people have to go through that, and I feel guilty because I get to go home and spend time with my family this Christmas and have a happy holiday.

  22. I’m sure so many people feel guilt right now but just enjoy your time. It’s not like it was YOUR fault..

    Can’t wait to see your hair! I’ve also been contemplating giving mine a hack.

  23. I have you “Something to Think About” poster framed and on my desk at work, and read it often! I also have been listening to Jillian Michael’s podcast while working out–I like that it’s entertaining and has some good simple tips on life & fitness. Have a great day~

  24. I think you hit the nail on the head with the word “guilt”. I felt it when I was spinning around with my son during a dance party and looked into his eyes with a big smile and when I went to check on both my kids before bedtime. I feel guilty that I get to do those things and those parents won’t be able to do them again. I’ve been saying special prayers for those families and the kids who survived all week long. They need all our love right now.

  25. What a special memory! I love her little Toms!

  26. “I know I shouldn’t feel this way…”

    My fav quote: Don’t should all over yourself!

  27. Having experienced the shootings at my college in Blacksburg, VA on April 16, 2007, I feel empathy for those who feel guilt, and those who are in pain dealing with the tragedy firsthand as the world tries to process what happened in the last week.

    A wave of emotions from deep sadness, guilt and anxiety went through me as time slowly healed what happened over 5 years ago. When classes began again and we were able to cope as a community, it was hard to tell yourself it was “okay” to be happy with so much going on. That it was “okay” to have that drink while you were out with the rest of your friends at a party. When disaster and tragedy strikes, there’s no right or wrong way to cope, usually. My friends and I leaned on each other and all the resources available to us (theraputic dogs, counseling, speaking with professors and RAs on campus) despite the cameras and news reporters in our faces.

    My heart aches thinking about everyone involved, and all who are affected because this one strikes a chord with so many people. Just know it’s okay to feel guilty, but it’s also okay to be happy and grateful for all you have in life 🙂

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